CHAPTER
III
‘MISTER GUMBRIL!’
Surprise was mingled with delight.
‘This is indeed a pleasure!’
Delight was now the prevailing emotion expressed by the voice that
advanced, as yet without a visible source, from the dark recesses of the shop.
‘The
pleasure, Mr Bojanus, is mine.’ Gumbril
closed the shop door behind him.
A
very small man, dressed in a frock-coat, popped out from a canyon that opened,
a mere black crevice, between two stratified precipices of mid-season suitings,
and advancing into the open space before the door bowed with an old-world
grace, revealing a nacreous scalp thinly mantled with long, damp creepers of
brown hair.
‘And
to what, may I ask, do I owe the pleasure, sir?’ Mr Bojanus looked up archly with a sideways
cock of his head that tilted the rigid points of his waxed moustache. The fingers of his right hand were thrust
into the bosom of his frock-coat and his toes were turned out in the
dancing-master’s First Position. ‘A
light spring greatcoat, is it?’ Or a new suit? I
notice,’ his eye travelled professionally up and down Gumbril’s long, thin
form, ‘I notice that the garments you are wearing at present, Mr Gumbril, look
– how shall I say? – well, a trifle negleejay, as the
French would put it, a trifle negleejay.’
Gumbril
looked down at himself. He resented Mr
Bojanus’s negleejay, he was pained and wounded by the
aspersion. Negleejay? And he had fancied that he really looked
rather elegant and distinguished (but, after all, he always looked that, even
in rags) – no, that he looked positively neat, like Mr Porteous, positively
soldierly in his black jacket and his musical-comedy trousers and his
patent-leather shoes. And the black felt
hat – didn’t that add just the foreign, the Southern touch which saved the
whole composition from banality? He
regarded himself, trying to see his clothes – garments, Mr Bojanus had called
them; garments, good Lord! – through the tailor’s
expert eyes. There were sagging folds
about the overloaded pockets, there was a stain on his waistcoat, the knees of his trousers were baggy and puckered like the
bare knees of Hélène Fourmont in Rubens’s fur-coat portrait at
‘I
want you,’ he said at last, clearing his throat importantly, ‘to make me a pair
of trousers to a novel specification of my own.
It’s a new idea.’ And he gave a
brief description of Gumbril’s Patent Small-Clothes.
My
Bojanus listened with attention.
‘I
can make them for you,’ he said, when the description was finished. ‘I can make them for you – if you really wish, Mr Gumbril,’ he added.
‘Thank
you,’ said Gumbril.
‘And
do you intend, may I ask, Mr Gumbril, to wear these … these garments?’
Guiltily,
Gumbril denied himself. ‘Only to demonstrate the idea, Mr Bojanus. I am exploiting the invention commercially,
you see.’
‘Commercially? I see,
Mr Gumbril.’
‘Perhaps
you would like a share,’ suggested Gumbril.
Mr
Bojanus shook his head. ‘It wouldn’t do
for my cleeantail, I fear, Mr Gumbril.
You could ‘ardly expect the Best People to wear such things.’
‘Couldn’t
you?’
My
Bojanus went on shaking his head. ‘I
know them,’ he said, ‘I know the Best People.
Well.’ And he added with an
irrelevance that was, perhaps, only apparent, ‘Between ourselves, Mr Gumbril, I
am a great admirer of Lenin …’
‘So
am I,’ said Gumbril, ‘theoretically. But
then I have so little to lose to Lenin.
I can afford to admire him. But
you, Mr Bojanus, you, the prosperous bourgeois – oh, purely in the economic
sense of the word, Mr Bojanus …’
Mr
Bojanus accepted the explanation with one of his old-world bows.
‘…
you would be among the first to suffer if an English
Lenin were to start his activities here.’
‘There,
Mr Gumbril, if I may be allowed to say so, you are wrong.’ Mr Bojanus removed his hand from his bosom
and employed it to emphasize the points of his discourse. ‘When the revolution comes, Mr Gumbril – the
great and necessary revolution, as Alderman Beckford called it – it won’t be
the owning of a little money that’ll get a man into trouble. It’ll be his class-habits, Mr Gumbril, his
class-speech, his class-education. It’ll
be Shibboleth all over again, Mr Gumbril; mark my words. The Red Guards will stop people in the street
and ask them to say such words as “towel”.
If the call it “towel”, like you and your friends, Mr Gumbril, why then
…’ Mr Bojanus went through the gestures of pointing a rifle and pulling the
trigger; he clicked his tongue against his teeth to symbolize the report…. ‘That’ll
be the end of them. But if they say
“tèaul”, like the rest of us, Mr Gumbril, it’ll be: “Pass Friend and Long Live
the Proletariat.” Long live Tèaul.’
‘I’m
afraid you may be right,’ said Gumbril.
‘I’m
convinced of it,’ said Mr Bojanus. ‘It’s
my clients, Mr Gumbril, it’s the Best People that the
other people resent. It’s their
confidence, their ease, it’s the habit their money and their position give them
of ordering people about, it’s the way they take their place in the world for
granted, it’s their prestige, which the other people would like to deny, but
can’t – it’s all that, Mr Gumbril, that’s so galling.’
Gumbril
nodded. He himself had envied his
securer friends their power of ignoring the humanity of those who were not of
their class. To do that really well, one
must always have lived in a large house full of clockwork servants; one must
never have been short of money, never at a restaurant ordered the cheaper thing
instead of the more delicious; one must never have regarded a policeman as
anything but one’s paid defender against the lower orders, never for a moment
have doubted one’s divine right to do so, within the accepted limits, exactly
what one liked without a further thought to anything or anyone but oneself and
one’s own enjoyment. Gumbril had been
brought up among these blessed beings; but he was not one of them. Alas? or
fortunately? He hardly knew which.
‘And
what good do you expect the revolution to do, Mr Bojanus?’ he asked at last.
Mr
Bojanus replaced his hand in his bosom.
‘None whatever, Mr Gumbril,’ he said.
‘None whatever.’
‘But
Mr
Bojanus smiled up at him tolerantly and kindly, as he might have smiled at
someone who had suggested, shall we say, that evening
trousers should be turned up at the bottom.
‘
‘The
people who make the revolution always seem to ask for liberty.’
‘But
do they ever get it, Mr Gumbril?’ Mr
Bojanus cocked his head playfully and smiled.
‘Look at ‘istory, Mr Gumbril, look at ‘istory. First it’s the French Revolution. They ask for political liberty. And they gets
it. Then comes the
Reform Bill, then Forty-Eight, then all the Franchise Acts and Votes for Women
– always more and more political liberty. And what’s the result, Mr
Gumbril? Nothing at
all. Who’s freer for political
liberty? Not a soul, Mr Gumbril. There was never a greater swindle ‘atched in
the ‘ole of ‘istory. And when you think
‘ow those poor young men like Shelley talked about it – it’s pathetic,’ said Mr
Bojanus, shaking his head, ‘reelly pathetic.
Political liberty’s a swindle because a man doesn’t spend his time being
political. He spends it sleeping,
eating, amusing himself a little and working – mostly working. When they’d got all the political liberty
they wanted – or found they didn’t want – they began to understand this. And so now it’s all for the
industrial revolution, Mr Gumbril.
But bless you, that’s as big a swindle as the
other. How can there ever be liberty
under any system? No amount of
profit-sharing or self-government by the workers, no amount of hyjeenic
conditions or cocoa villages or recreation grounds can get rid of the
fundamental slavery – the necessity of working.
‘Quite
right, quite right, Mr Bojanus,’ Gumbril hastened to reply.
‘From
all of which,’ continued Mr Bojanus, ‘it follows that, except for a few, a very
few people like you and me, Mr Gumbril, there’s no such thing as liberty. It’s an ‘oax, Mr Gumbril. An ‘orrible plant. And if I may be allowed to say so,’ Mr
Bojanus lowered his voice, but still spoke with emphasis, ‘a bloodly swindle.’
‘But
in that case, Mr Bojanus, why are you so anxious to have a revolution?’ Gumbril
inquired.
Thoughtfully,
Mr Bojanus twisted to a finer point his waxed moustaches. ‘Well,’ he said at last, ‘it would be a nice
change. I was always one for change and
a little excitement. And then there’s
the scientific interest. You never quite
now ‘ow an experiment will turn out, do you, Mr Gumbril? I remember when I was a boy, my old dad – a
great gardener he was, a regular floriculturist, Mr Gumbril – he tried the
experiment of grafting a sprig of Gloire de Dijon on to a blackcurrant
bush. And, would you believe it? the roses came out black, coal black, Mr Gumbril. Nobody would ever have guessed that if the
thing had never been tried. And that’s
what I say about the revolution. You
don’t know what’ll come of it till you try.
Black roses, blue roses – ‘oo knows, Mr Gumbril, ‘oo knows?’
‘Who indeed?’ Gumbril
looked at his watch. ‘About those
trousers …’ he added.
‘Those
garments,’ corrected Mr Bojanus. ‘Ah,
yes. Should we say next Tuesday?’
‘Let
us say next Tuesday.’ Gumbril opened the
shop door. ‘Good morning, Mr Bojanus.’
Mr
Bojanus bowed him out, as though he had been a prince of the blood.
The
sun was shining and at the end of the street between the houses the sky was
blue. Gauzily the distances faded to a
soft, rich indistinctness; there were veils of golden muslin thickening down
the length of every vista. On the trees
in the
From
the world of tailors Gumbril passed into that of the artificial-pearl
merchants, and with a still keener appreciation of the amorous qualities of
this clear spring day, he began a leisured march along the perfumed pavements
of
‘Forthcoming Exhibition of Works by Casimir Lypiatt.’ The announcement caught his eye. And so poor old Lypiatt was on the warpath
again, he reflected, as he pushed open the doors of the Albemarle Galleries. Poor old Lypiatt! Dear old Lypiatt, even. He liked Lypiatt. Though he had his defects. It would be fun to see him again.
Gumbril
found himself in the midst of a dismal collection of etchings. He passed them in review, wondering why it
was that, in these hard days when no painter can sell a picture, almost any
dull fool who can scratch a conventional etcher’s view of two boats, a
suggested cloud and the flat sea should be able to get rid of his prints by the
dozen and at guineas apiece. He was
interrupted in his speculations by the approach of the assistant in charge of
the gallery. He came up shyly and
uncomfortably, but with the conscientious determination of one ambitious to do
his duty and make good. He was a very
young man with pale hair, to which heavy oiling had given a curious greyish
colour, and a face of such childish contour and so inbred that he looked like a
little boy playing at grown-ups. He had
only been at his job a few weeks and he found it very difficult.
‘This,’
he remarked, with a little introductory cough, pointing to one view of the two
boats and the flat sea, ‘is an earlier state than this.’ And he pointed to another view, where the
boats were still two and the sea seemed just as flat – though possibly, on a
closer inspection, it might really have been flatter.
‘Indeed,’
said Gumbril.
The
assistant was rather pained by his coldness.
He brushed but constrained himself to go on. ‘Some excellent judges,’ he said, ‘prefer the
earlier state, though it is less highly finished.’
‘Ah?’
‘Beautiful
atmosphere, isn’t it?’ The assistant put
his head on one side and pursed his childish lips appreciatively.
Gumbril
nodded.
With
desperation, the assistant indicated the shadowed rump of one of the
boats. ‘A wonderful feeling in this
passage,’ he said, redder than ever.
‘Very
intense,’ said Gumbril.
The
assistant smiled at him gratefully.
‘That’s the word,’ he said, delighted.
‘Intense. That’s it. Very intense.’ He repeated the word several times, as though
to make sure of remembering it for use when the occasion next presented
itself. He was determined to make good.
‘I
see Mr Lypiatt is to have a show here soon,’ remarked Gumbril, who had had
enough of the boats.
‘He
is making the final arrangements with Mr Albemarle at this very moment,’ said
the assistant triumphantly, with the air of one who produces, at the dramatic
and critical moment, a rabbit out of the empty hat.
‘You
don’t say so?’ Gumbril was duly
impressed. ‘Then I’ll wait till he comes
out,’ he said, and sat down with his back to the boats.
The
assistant returned to his desk and picked up the gold-belted fountain pen which
his aunt had given him when he first went into business, last Christmas. ‘Very intense,’ he wrote in capitals on a
half-sheet of notepaper. ‘The feeling in
this passage is very intense.’ He studied
the paper for a few moments, then folded it up carefully and put it away in his
waistcoat pocket. ‘Always make a note of
it.’ That was one of the business
mottoes he had himself written out so laboriously in Indian ink and Old English
lettering. It hung over his bed between
‘The Lord is my Shepherd,’ which his mother had given him, and a quotation from
Dr Frank Crane, ‘A smiling face sells more goods than a clever tongue’. Still, a clever tongue, the young assistant
had often reflected, was a very useful thing, especially in this job. He wondered whether one could say that the
composition of a picture was very intense.
Mr Albemarle was very keen on the composition, he noticed. But perhaps it was better to stick to plain
‘fine’, which was a little commonplace, perhaps, but very safe. He would ask Mr Albemarle about it. And then there was all that stuff about
plastic values and pure plasticity. He
sighed. It was all very difficult. A chap might be as willing and eager to make
good as he liked; but when it came to this about atmosphere and intense
passages and plasticity – well, really, what could a chap do? Make a note of it. It was the only thing.
In
Mr Albemarle’s private room Casimir Lypiatt thumped the table. ‘Size, Mr Albemarle,’ he was saying, ‘size
and vehemence and spiritual significance – that’s what the old fellows had, and
we haven’t….’ He gesticulated as he
talked, his face worked and his green eyes, set in their dark, charred orbits,
were full of a troubled light. The
forehead was precipitous, the nose long and sharp; in the bony and almost
fleshless face, the lips of the wide mouth were surprisingly full.
‘Precisely,
precisely,’ said Mr Albemarle in his juicy voice. He was a round, smooth little man with a head
like a egg; he spoke, he moved with a certain pomp, a
butlerish gravity, that were evidently meant to be ducal.
‘That’s
what I’ve set myself to recapture,’ Lypiatt went on: ‘the size, the
masterfulness of the masters.’ He felt a warmth running through him as he spoke, flushing his
cheeks, pulsing hotly behind the eyes, as though he had drunk a draught of some
heartening red wine. His own words
elated him, and drunkenly gesticulating, he was as though drunken. The greatness of the masters – he felt it in
him. He knew his own power, he knew, he
knew. He could do all that they had
done. Nothing was beyond his strength.
Egg-headed
‘It’s
been my mission,’ he shouted, ‘all these years.’
All
these years…. Time had worn the hair from his temples; the high, steep forehead
seemed higher than it really was. He was
forty now; the turbulent young Lypiatt who had once declared that no man could
do anything worth doing after he was thirty, was forty now. But in these fiery moments he could forget
the years, he could forget the disappointments, the unsold pictures, the bad
reviews. ‘My mission,’ he repeated; ‘and
by God! I feel I know I can carry it through.’
Warmly
the blood pulsed behind his eyes.
‘Quite,’
said Mr Albemarle, nodding the egg.
‘Quite.’
‘And how small the scale is nowadays!’ Lypiatt went on
rhapsodically. ‘How trivial the
conception, how limited the scope! You
see no painter-sculptor-poets, like Michelangelo; no scientist-artists, like
Leonardo; no mathematician-courtiers, like Boscovitch; no impresario-musicians,
like Handel; no geniuses of all trades, like Wren. I have set myself against this abject specialization
of ours. I stand alone, opposing it with
my example.’ Lypiatt raised his
hand. Like the statue of
‘Nevertheless,’
began Mr Albemarle.
‘Painter,
poet, musician,’ cried Lypiatt. ‘I am
all three. I …’
‘…
there is a danger of – how shall I put it –
dissipating one’s energies,’ Mr Albemarle went on with determination. Discreetly, he looked at his watch. The conversation, he thought, seemed to be
prolonging itself unnecessarily.
‘There
is a greater danger in letting them stagnate and atrophy,’ Lypiatt
retorted. ‘Let me give you my
experience. Vehemently, he gave it.
Out
in the gallery, among the boats, the views of the
A
door suddenly opened and a loud, unsteady voice, now deep and harsh, now
breaking to shrillness, exploded into the gallery.
‘…
like a Veronese,’ it was saying; ‘enormous, vehement, a great swirling
composition’ (‘swirling composition’ – mentally, the young assistant made a
note of that), ‘but much more serious, of course, much more spiritually
significant, much more –‘
‘Lypiatt!’ Gumbril
had risen from his chair, had turned, had advanced, holding out his hand.
‘Why,
it’s Gumbril. Good Lord!’ and Lypiatt
seized the proffered hand with an excruciating cordiality. He seemed to be in exuberantly good spirits. ‘We’re settling about my show,’ Mr Albemarle
and I,’ he explained. ‘You know Gumbril,
Mr Albemarle?’
‘Pleased
to meet you,’ said Mr Albemarle. ‘Our
friend, My Lypiatt,’ he added richly, ‘has the true artistic temp …’
‘It’s
going to be magnificent.’ Lypiatt could
not wait till Mr Albemarle had finished speaking. He gave Gumbril a heroic blow on the
shoulder.
‘…
artistic temperament, as I was saying,’ pursued Mr Albemarle. ‘He is altogether too impatient and
enthusiastic for us poor people …’ a ducal smile of condescension accompanied
this graceful act of self-abasement … ‘who move in the prosaic, practical,
workaday world.’
Lypiatt
laughed, a loud, discordant peal. He didn’t seem to mind being accused of
having an artistic temperament; he seemed, indeed, to enjoy it, if anything. ‘Fire and water,’ he said aphoristically,
‘brought together, beget steam. Mr
Albemarle and I go driving along like a steam engine. Psh, psh!’ He worked his arms like a pair of alternate
pistons. He laughed; but Mr Albemarle
only coldly and courteously smiled. ‘I
was just telling Mr Albemarle about the great Cruxifixion I’ve just been
doing. It’s as big and headlong as a
Veronese, but much more serious, more….’
Behind
them the little assistant was expounding to a new visitor the beauties of the
etchings. ‘Very
intense,’ he was saying, ‘the feeling in this passage.’ The shadow, indeed, clung with an insistent
affection round the stern of the boat. ‘And what a fine, what a …’ he hesitated for an instant, and under
his pale, oiled hair his face became suddenly very red … ‘what a swirling
composition.’ He looked anxiously
at the visitor. The remark had been
received without comment. He felt
immensely relieved.
They
left the galleries together. Lypiatt set
the pace, striding along at a great rate and with a magnificent brutality
through the elegant and leisured crowd, gesticulating and loudly talking as he
went. He carried his hat in his hand;
his tie was brilliantly orange. People
turned to look at him as he passed and he liked it. He had, indeed, a remarkable face – a face
that ought by rights to have belonged to a man of genius. Lypiatt was aware of it. The man of genius, he liked to say, bears
upon his brow a kind of mark of Cain, by which men recognize him at once –
‘and, having recognized, generally stone him,’ he would add with that peculiar
laugh he always uttered whenever he said anything rather bitter or cynical; a
laugh that was meant to show that the bitterness, the cynicism, justifiable as
events might have made them, were really only a mask, and that beneath it the
artist was still serenely and tragically smiling. Lypiatt thought a great deal about the ideal
artist. That titanic abstraction stalked
within his own skin.
He was it – a little too consciously, perhaps.
‘This
time,’ he kept repeating, ‘they’ll be bowled over. This time…. It’s going to be terrific.’ And with the blood beating behind his eyes,
with the exultant consciousness and certainty of power growing and growing in
him with every word he spoke, Lypiatt began to describe the pictures that would
be at his show; he talked about the preface he was writing to the catalogue,
the poems that would be printed in it by way of literary complement to the
pictures. He talked, he talked.
Gumbril
listened, not very attentively. He was
wondering how anyone could talk so loud, could boast so extravagantly. It was as though the man had to shout in
order to convince himself of his own existence.
Poor Lypiatt; after all these years, Gumbril supposed, he must have some
doubts about it. Ah, but this time, this
time he was going to bowl them all over.
‘You’re
pleased, then, with what you’ve done recently,’ he said at the end of one of
Lypiatt’s long tirades.
‘Pleased?’
exclaimed Lypiatt; ‘I should think I was.’
Gumbril
might have reminded him that he had been as well pleased in the past and that
‘they’ had by no means been bowled over.
He preferred, however, to say nothing.
Lypiatt went on about the size and universality of the old masters. He himself, it was tacitly understood, was
one of them.
They
parted near the bottom of the Tottenham Court Road, Lypiatt to go northward to
his studio off
‘Goodbye,’
said Gumbril, raising his hand to the salute.
‘And I’ll beat up some people for dinner on Friday.’ (For
they had agreed to meet again.) He turned away, thinking that he had
spoken the last words; but he was mistaken.
‘Oh,
by the way,’ said Lypiatt, who had also turned to go, but who now came stepping
quickly after his companion. ‘Can you,
by any chance, lend me five pounds? Only
till after the exhibition, you know. I’m
a bit short.’
Poor
old Lypiatt! But it was with reluctance
that Gumbril parted from his Treasury notes.