literary transcript

       

       

CHAPTER VII

 

April 8th 1934

 

                                                                                                                                                                 From A.B.'s diary.

Conditioned reflex.  What a lot of satisfaction I got out of old Pavlov when first I read him.  The ultimate de-bunking of all human pretensions.  We were all dogs and bitches together.  Bow-row, sniff the lamp-post, lift the leg, bury the bone.  No nonsense about free will, goodness, truth and all the rest.  Each age had its psychological revolutionaries.  La Mettrie, Hume, Condillac, and finally the Marquis de Sade, latest and most sweeping of the eighteenth-century de-bunkers.  Perhaps, indeed, the ultimate and absolute revolutionary.  But few have the courage to follow the revolutionary argument to Sade's conclusions.  Meanwhile, science did not stand still.  Dix-huitième de-bunking, apart from Sade, proved inadequate.  The nineteenth century had to begin again.  Marx and the Darwinians.  Who are still with us – Marx obsessively so.  Meanwhile the twentieth century has produced yet another lot of de-bunkers – Freud and, when he began to flag, Pavlov and the Behaviourists.  Conditioned reflex: - it seemed, I remember, to put the lid of everything.  Whereas actually, of course, it merely restated the doctrine of free will.  For if reflexes can be conditioned, then, obviously, they can be re-conditioned.  Learning to use the self properly, when one has been using it badly – what is it but re-conditioning one's reflexes?

      Lunched with my father.  More cheerful than I've seen him recently, but old and, oddly, rather enjoying it.  Make much of getting out of his chair with difficulty, of climbing very slowly up the stairs.  A way, I suppose, of increasing his sense of importance.  Perhaps also a way of commanding sympathy whenever he happens to want it.  Baby cries so that mother shall come and make a fuss of him.  It goes on from the cradle to the grave.  Miller says of old age that it's largely a bad habit.  Use conditions function.  Walk about as if you were a martyr to rheumatism and you'll impose such violent muscular strains upon yourself that a martyr to rheumatism you'll really be.  Behave like an old man and your body will function like an old man's, you'll think and feel as an old man.  The lean and slippered pantaloon – literally a part that one plays.  If you refuse to play it and learn how to act on your refusal, you won't become a pantaloon.  I suspect this is largely true.  Anyhow, my father is playing his present part with gusto.  One of the great advantages of being old, provided that one's economic position is reasonably secure and one's health not too bad, is that one can afford to be serene.  The grave is near, one has made a habit of not feeling anything very strongly; it's easy, therefore, to take the God's-eye view of things.  My father took it about peace, for example.  Yes, men were mad, he agreed; there would be another war quite soon – about 1940, he thought. (A date, significantly, when he was practically certain to be dead!) Much worse than the last war, yes; and would probably destroy the civilization of Western Europe.  But did it really matter so much?  Civilization would go on in other continents, would build itself up anew in the devastated areas.  Our timescale was all wrong.  We should think of ourselves, not as living in the thirties of the twentieth century, but as at a point between two ice ages.  And he ended up by quoting Goethe – ales Vergängliche ist nur ein Gleichniss.   All which is doubtless quite true, but not the whole truth.  Query: how to combine believe that the world is to a great extent illusory with belief that it is nonetheless essential to improve the illusion?  How to be simultaneously dispassionate and not indifferent, serene like an old man and active like a young one?