CHAPTER SIX

"Golly!" the little nurse exploded, when the door was safely closed behind them.

       "I entirely agree with you," said Will.

       The Voltairean light twinkled for a moment on Mr Bahu's evangelical face.  "Golly," he repeated.  "It was what I heard an English schoolboy saying when he first saw the Great Pyramid.  The Rani makes the same kind of impression.  Monumental.  She's what the Germans call eine grosse Seele."  The twinkle had faded, the face was unequivocally Savonarola's, the words, it was obvious, were for publication.

       The little nurse suddenly started to laugh.

       "What's so funny?" Will asked.

       "I suddenly saw the Great Pyramid all dressed up in white muslin," she gasped.  "Dr Robert calls it the mystic's uniform."

       "Witty, very witty!" said Mr Bahu.  "And yet," he added diplomatically, "I don't know why mystics shouldn't wear uniforms, if they feel like it."

       The little nurse drew a deep breath, wiped the tears of merriment from her eyes and began to make her preparations for giving the patient his injection.

       "I know exactly what you're thinking," she said to Will.  "You're thinking I'm too young to do a good job."

       "I certainly think you're very young."

       "You people go to a University at eighteen and stay there for four years.  We start at sixteen and go on with our education till we're twenty-four - half-time study and half-time work.  I've been doing biology and at the same time doing this job for two years.  So I'm not quite such a fool as I look.  Actually I'm a pretty good nurse."

       "A statement," said Mr Bahu, "which I can unequivocally confirm.  Miss Radha is not merely a good nurse; she's an absolutely first-rate one."

       But what he really meant, Will felt sure as he studied the expression on that face of a much-tempted monk, was that Miss Radha had a first-rate midriff, first-rate navel, and first-rate breasts.  But the owner of the navel, midriff, and breasts had clearly resented Savonarola's admiration, or at any rate the way it had been expressed.  Hopefully, over-hopefully, the rebuffed ambassador was returning to the attack.

       The spirit lamp was lighted and, while the needle was being boiled, little Nurse Appu took her patient's temperature.

       "Ninety-nine point two."

       "Does that mean I have to be banished?" Mr Bahu inquired.

       "Not so far as he's concerned," the girl answered.

       "So please stay," said Will.

       The little nurse gave him his injection of antibiotic, then, from one of the bottles in her bag, stirred a tablespoonful of some greenish liquid into half a glass of water.

       "Drink this."

       It tasted like one of those herbal concoctions that health-food enthusiasts substitute for tea.

       "What is it?" Will asked, and was told that it was an extract from a mountain plant related to valerian.

       "It helps people to stop worrying," the little nurse explained, "without making them sleepy.  We give it to convalescents.  It's useful, too, in mental cases."

       "Which am I!  Mental or convalescent?"

       "Both," she answered without hesitation.

       Will laughed aloud.  "That's what comes of fishing for compliments."

       "I didn't mean to be rude," she assured him.  "All I meant was that I've never met anybody from the outside who wasn't a mental case."

       "Including the Ambassador?"

       She turned the question back upon the questioner.  "What do you think?"

       Will passed it on to Mr Bahu.  "You're the expert in this field," he said.

       "Settle it between yourselves," said the little nurse.  "I've got to go and see about my patient's lunch."

       Mr Bahu watched her go; then, raising his left eyebrow, he let fall his monocle and started methodically to polish the lens with his handkerchief.  "You're aberrated in one way," he said to Will.  "I'm aberrated in another.  A schizoid (isn't that what you are?) and, from the other side of the world, a paranoid.  Both of us victims of the same twentieth-century plague.  Not the Black Death, this time; the Grey Life.  Were you ever interested in power?" he asked after a moment's silence.

       "Never," Will shook his head emphatically.  "One can't have power without committing oneself."

       "And for you the horror of being committed outweighs the pleasure of pushing other people around?"

       "By a factor of several thousand times."

       "So it was never a temptation?"

       "Never."  Then after a pause, "Let's get down to business," Will added in another tone.

       "To business," Mr Bahu repeated.  "Tell me something about Lord Aldehyde?"

       "Well, as the Rani said, he's remarkably generous."

       "I'm not interested in his virtues, only his intelligence.  How bright is he?"

       "Bright enough to know that nobody does anything for nothing."

       "Good," said Mr Bahu.  "Then tell him from me that for effective work by experts in strange positions he must be prepared to lay out at least ten times what he's going to pay you."

       "I'll write him a letter to that effect."

       "And do it today," Mr Bahu advised.  "The plane leaves Shivapuram tomorrow evening, and there won't be another out-going mail for a whole week."

       "Thank you for telling me," said Will.  "And now - Her Highness and the shockable stripling being gone - let's move on to the next temptation.  What about sex?"

       With the gesture of a man who tries to rid himself of a cloud of importunate insects, Mr Bahu waved a brown and bony hand back and forth in front of his face.  "Just a distraction, that's all.  Just a nagging, humiliating vexation.  But an intelligent man can always cope with it."

       "How difficult it is," said Will, "to understand another man's vices!"

       "You're right.  Everybody should stick to the insanity that God has seen fit to curse him with.  Pecca fortiter - that was Luther's advice.  But make a point of sinning your own sins, not someone else's.  And above all don't do what the people of the island do.  Don't try to behave as though you were essentially sane and naturally good.  We're all demented sinners in the same cosmic boat - and the boat is perpetually sinking."

       "In spite of which, no rat is justified in leaving it.  Is that what you're saying?"

       "A few of them may sometimes try to leave.  But they never get very far.  History and the other rats will always see to it that they drown with the rest of us.  That's why Pala doesn't have a ghost of a chance."

       Carrying a tray, the little nurse re-entered the room.

       "Buddhist food," she said, as she tied a napkin round Will's neck.  "All except the fish.  But we've decided that fishes are vegetables within the meaning of the act."

       Will started to eat.

       "Apart from the Rani and Murugan and us two here," he asked after swallowing the first mouthful, "how many people from the outside have you ever met?"

       "Well, there was that group of American doctors," she answered.  "They came to Shivapuram last year, while I was working at the Central Hospital."

       "What were they doing here?"

       "They wanted to find out why we have such a low rate of neurosis and cardiovascular trouble.  Those doctors!"  She shook her head.  "I tell you, Mr Farnaby, they really made my hair stand on end - made everybody's hair stand on end in the whole hospital."

       "So you think our medicine's pretty primitive?"

       "That's the wrong word.  It isn't primitive.  It's fifty per cent terrific and fifty per cent non-existent.  Marvellous antibiotics - but absolutely no methods for increasing resistance, so that antibiotics won't be necessary.  Fantastic operations - but when it comes to teaching people the way of going through life without having to be chopped up, absolutely nothing.  And it's the same all along the line.  Alpha Plus for patching you up when you've started to fall apart; but Delta Minus for keeping you healthy.  Apart from sewage systems and synthetic vitamins, you don't seem to do anything at all about prevention.  And yet you've got a proverb: prevention is better than cure."

       "But cure," said Will, "is so much more dramatic than prevention.  And for the doctors it's also a lot more profitable."

       "Maybe for your doctors," said the little nurse.  "Not for ours.  Ours get paid for keeping people well."

       "How is it done?"

       "We've been asking that question for a hundred years, and we've found a lot of answers.  Chemical answers, psychological answers, answers in terms of what you eat, how you make love, what you see and hear, how you feel about being who you are in this kind of world."

       "And which are the best answers?"

       "None of them is best without the others."

       "So there's no panacea."

       "How can there be?"  And she quoted the little rhyme that every student nurse had to learn by heart on the first day of her training.

                                        "'I' am a crowd, obeying as many laws

                                       As it has members.  Chemically impure

                                       Are all 'my' beings.  There's no single cure

                                       For what can never have a single cause.

So whether it's prevention or whether it's cure, we attack on all the fronts at once.  All the fronts," she insisted, "from diet to auto-suggestion, from negative ions to meditation."

       "Very sensible," was Will's comment.

       "Perhaps a little too sensible," said Mr Bahu.  "Did you ever try to talk sense to a maniac?"  Will shook his head.  "I did once."  He lifted the greying lock that slanted obliquely across his forehead.  Just below the hair-line a jagged scar stood out, strangely pale against the brown skin.  "Luckily for me, the bottle he hit me with was pretty flimsy."  Smoothing his ruffled hair, he turned to the little nurse.  "Don't ever forget, Miss Radha: to the senseless nothing is more maddening than sense.  Pala is a small island completely surrounded by twenty-nine hundred million mental cases.  So beware of being too rational.  In the country of the insane, the integrated man doesn't become king."  Mr Bahu's face was positively twinkling with Voltairean glee.  "He gets lynched."

       Will laughed perfunctorily, then turned again to the little nurse.

       "Don't you have any candidates for the asylum?" he asked.

       "Just as many as you have - I mean in proportion to the population.  At least that's what the textbook says."

       "So living in a sensible world doesn't seem to make any difference."

       "Not to people with the kind of body-chemistry that'll turn them into psychotics.  They're born vulnerable.  Little troubles that other people hardly notice can bring them down.  We're just beginning to find out what it is that makes them so vulnerable.  We're beginning to be able to spot them in advance of a breakdown.  And once they've been spotted, we can do something to raise their resistance.  Prevention again - and, of course, on all the fronts at once."

       "So being born into a sensible world will make a difference even for the predestined psychotic."

       "And for the neurotics it has already made a difference.  Your neurosis rate is about one in five or even four.  Ours is about one in twenty.  The one that breaks down gets treatment, on all fronts, and the nineteen who don't break down have had prevention on all fronts.  Which brings me back to those American doctors.  Three of them were psychiatrists, and one of the psychiatrists smoked cigars without stopping and had a German accent.  He was the one that was chosen to give us a lecture.  What a lecture!"  The little nurse held her head between her hands.  "I never heard anything like it."

       "What was it about?"

       "About the way they treat people with neurotic symptoms.  We just couldn't believe our ears.  They never attack on all the fronts; they only attack on about half of one front.  So far as they're concerned, the physical fronts don't exist.  Except for a mouth and an anus, their patient doesn't have a body.  He isn't an organism, he wasn't born with a constitution or a temperament.  All he has is the two ends of a digestive tube, a family and a psyche.  But what sort of psyche?  Obviously not the whole mind, not the mind as it really is.  How could it be that when they take no account of a person's anatomy, or biochemistry or physiology?  Mind abstracted from body - that's the only front they attack on.  And not even on the whole of that front.  The man with the cigar kept talking about the unconscious.  But the only unconscious they ever pay attention to is the negative unconscious, the garbage that people have tried to get rid of by burying it in the basement.  Not a single word about the positive unconscious.  No attempt to help the patient to open himself up to the life form or the Buddha Nature.  And no attempt even to teach him to be a little more conscious in his everyday life.  You know: 'Here and now, boys,' 'Attention.'"  She gave an imitation of the mynah birds.  "These people just leave the unfortunate neurotic to wallow in his old bad habits of never being all there in present time.  The whole thing is pure idiocy!  No, the man with the cigar didn't even have that excuse; he was as clever as clever can be.  So it's not idiocy.  It must be something voluntary, something self-induced - like getting drunk, or talking yourself into believing some piece of foolishness because it happens to be in the Scriptures.  And then look at their idea of what's normal.  Believe it or not, a normal human being is one who can have an orgasm and is adjusted to his society."  Once again the little nurse held her head between her hands.  "It's unimaginable!  No question about what you do with your orgasms.  No question about the quality of your feelings and thoughts and perceptions.  And then what about the society you're supposed to be adjusted to?  Is it a mad society or a sane one?  And even if it's pretty sane, is it right that anybody should be completely adjusted to it?"

       With another of his twinkling smiles, "Those whom God would destroy," said the Ambassador, "He first makes mad.  Or alternatively, and perhaps even more effectively, He first makes them sane."  Mr Bahu rose and walked to the window.  "My car has come for me.  I must be getting back to Shivapuram and my desk."  He turned to Will and treated him to a long and flowery farewell.  Then, switching off the ambassador, "Don't forget to write that letter," he said.  "It's very important."  He smiled conspiratorially and, passing his thumb back and forth across the first two fingers of his right hand, he counted out invisible money.

       "Thank goodness," said the little nurse when he had gone.

       "What was his offence?" Will inquired.  "The usual thing?"

       "Offering money to someone you want to go to bed with - but she doesn't like you.  So you offer more.  Is that usual where he comes from?"

       "Profoundly usual," Will assured her.

       "Well, I didn't like it."

       "So I could see.  And here's another question.  What about Murugan?"

       "What makes you ask?"

       "Curiosity.  I noticed that you'd met before.  Was that when he was here two years ago without his mother?"

       "How did you know about that?"

       "A little bird told me - or rather an extremely massive bird."

       "The Rani!  She must have made it sound like Sodom and Gomorrah."

       "But unfortunately I was spared the lurid details.  Dark hints - that was all she gave me.  Hints, for example, about veteran Messalinas giving lessons in love to innocent young boys."

       "And did he need those lessons!"

       "Hints, too, about a precocious and promiscuous girl of his own age."

       Nurse Appu burst out laughing.

       "Did you know her?"

       "The precocious and promiscuous girl was me."

       "You?  Does the Rani know it?"

       "Murugan only gave her the facts, not the names.  For which I'm very grateful.  You see, I'd behaved pretty badly.  Losing my head about someone I didn't really love and hurting someone I did.  Why is one so stupid?"

       "The heart has its reasons," said Will, "and the endocrines have theirs."

       There was a long silence.  He finished the last of his cold boiled fish and vegetables.  Nurse Appu handed him a plate of fruit salad.

       "You've never seen Murugan in white satin pyjamas," she said.

       "Have I missed something?"

       "You've no idea how beautiful he looks in white satin pyjamas.  Nobody has any right to be so beautiful.  It's indecent.  It's taking an unfair advantage."

       It was the sight of him in those white satin pyjamas from Sulka that had finally made her lose her head.  Lose it so completely that for two months she had been someone else - an idiot who had gone chasing after a person who couldn't bear her and had turned her back on the person who had always loved her, the person she herself had always loved.

       "Did you get anywhere with the pyjama boy?" Will asked.

       "As far as a bed," she answered.  "But when I started to kiss him, he jumped out from between the sheets and locked himself into the bathroom.  He wouldn't come out until I'd passed his pyjamas through the transom and given him my word of honour that he wouldn't be molested.  I can laugh about it now; but at the time, I tell you, at the time ...” She shook her head.  "Pure tragedy.  They must have guessed, from the way I carried on, what had happened.  Precocious and promiscuous girls, it was obvious, were no good.  What he needed was regular lessons."

       "And the rest of the story I know," said Will.  "Boy writes to mother, mother flies home and whisks him off to Switzerland."

       "And they didn't come back until about six months ago.  And for at least half of that time they were in Rendang, staying with Murugan's aunt."

       Will was on the point of mentioning Colonel Dipa, then remembered that he had promised Murugan to be discreet and said nothing.

       From the garden came the sound of a whistle.

       "Excuse me," said the little nurse and went to the window.  Smiling happily at what she saw, she waved her hand.  "It's Ranga."

       "Who's Ranga?"

       That friend of mine I was talking about.  He wants to ask you some questions.  May he come in for a minute?"

       "Of course."

       She turned back to the window and made a beckoning gesture.

       "That means, I take it, that the white satin pyjamas are completely out of the picture."

       She nodded.  "It was only a one-act tragedy.  I found my head almost as quickly as I'd lost it.  And when I'd found it, there was Ranga, the same as ever, waiting for me."  The door swung open and a lanky young man in gym shoes and khaki shorts came into the room.

       "Ranga Karakuran," he announced as he shook Will's hand.

       "If you'd come five minutes earlier," said Radha, "you'd have had the pleasure of meeting Mr Bahu."

       "Was he here?"  Ranga made a grimace of disgust.

       "Is he as bad as all that?" Will asked.

       Ranga listed the indictments. "A: He hates us.  B: He's Colonel Dipa's tame jackal.  C: He's the unofficial ambassador of all the oil companies.  D: The old pig made passes at Radha, and E: He goes about giving lectures about the need for a religious revival.  He's even published a book about it.  Complete with a preface by someone at the Harvard Divinity School.  It's all part of the campaign against Palanese independence.  God is Dipa's alibi.  Why can't criminals be frank about what they're up to?  All this disgusting idealistic hogwash - it makes one vomit."

       Radha stretched out her hand and gave his ears three sharp tweaks.

       "You little ..." he began angrily; then broke off and laughed.  "You're quite right," he said.  "All the same, you didn't have to pull quite so hard."

       "Is that what you always do when he gets worked up?" Will inquired of Radha.

       "Whenever he gets worked up at the wrong moment, or over things he can't do anything about."

       Will turned to the boy.  "And do you ever have to tweak her ear?"

       Ranga laughed.  "I find it more satisfactory," he said, "to smack her bottom.  Unfortunately, she rarely needs it."

       "Does that mean she's better balanced than you are?"

       "Better balanced?  I tell you, she's abnormally sane."

       "Whereas you're merely normal?"

       "Maybe a little left of centre."  He shook his head.  "I get horribly depressed sometimes - feel I'm no good for anything."

       "Whereas in fact," said Radha, "he's so good that they've given him a scholarship to study biochemistry at the University of Manchester."

       "What do you do with him when he plays these despairing miserable-sinner tricks on you?  Pull his ears?"

       "That," she said, "and ... well, other things."  She looked at Ranga and Ranga looked at her.  Then they both burst out laughing.

       "Quite," said Will.  "Quite.  And these other things being what they are," he went on,  "is Ranga looking forward to the prospect of leaving Pala for a couple of years?"

       "Not much," Ranga admitted.

       "But he has to go," said Radha firmly.

       "And when he gets there," Will wondered, "is he going to be happy?"

       "That's what I wanted to ask you," said Ranga.

       "Well, you won't like the climate, you won't like the food, you won't like the noises or the smells or the architecture.  But you'll almost certainly like the work and you'll probably find that you can like quite a lot of the people."

       "What about the girls?" Radha inquired.

       "How do you want me to answer that question?" Will asked.  "Consolingly, or truthfully?"

       "Truthfully."

       "Well, my dear, the truth is that Ranga will be a wild success.  Dozens of girls are going to find him irresistible.  And some of those girls will be charming.  How will you feel if he can't resist?"

       "I'll be glad for his sake."

       Will turned to Ranga.  "And will you be glad if she consoles herself, while you're away, with another boy?"

       "I'd like to be," he said.  "But whether I actually shall be glad - that's another question."

       "Will you make her promise to be faithful?"

       "I won't make her promise anything."

       "Even though she's your girl?"

       "She's her own girl."

       "And Ranga's his own boy," said the little nurse.  "He's free to do what he likes."

       Will thought of Bab's strawberry-pink alcove and laughed ferociously.  "And free above all," he said, "to do what he doesn't like."  He looked from one young face to the other and saw that he was being eyed with a certain astonishment.  In another tone and with a different kind of smile, "But I'd forgotten," he added.  "One of you is abnormally sane and the other is only a little left of centre.  So how can you be expected to understand what this mental case from the outside is talking about?"  And without leaving them time to answer his question, "Tell me," he asked, "how long is it ...” He broke off.  "But perhaps I'm being indiscreet.  If so, just tell me to mind my own business.  But I would like to know, just as a matter of anthropological interest, how long you two have been friends?"

       "Do you mean 'friends'?" asked the little nurse.  "Or do you mean 'lovers'?"

       "Why not both, while we're about it?"

       "Well, Ranga and I have been friends since we were babies.  And we've been lovers - except for that miserable white pyjama episode - since I was fifteen and a half and he was seventeen - just about two and a half years."

       "And nobody objected?"

       "Why should they?"

       "Why indeed," Will echoed.  "But the fact remains that, in my part of the world, practically everybody would have objected."

       "What about other boys?" Ranga asked.

       "In theory they were even more out of bounds than girls.  In practice ... Well, you can guess what happens when five or six hundred male adolescents are cooped up together in a boarding school.  Does that sort of thing ever go on here?"

       "Of course."

       "I'm surprised."

       "Surprised?  Why?"

       "Seeing that girls aren't out of bounds."

       "But one kind of love doesn't exclude the other."

       "And are both legitimate?"

       "Naturally."

       "So that nobody would have minded if Murugan had been interested in another pyjama boy?"

       "Not if it was a good sort of relationship."

       "But unfortunately," said Radha, "the Rani had done such a thorough job that he couldn't be interested in anyone but her - and, of course, himself."

       "No boys?"

       "Maybe now.  I don't know.  All I know is that in my day there was nobody in his universe.  No boys and, still more emphatically, no girls.  Only Mother and masturbation and the Ascended Masters.  Only jazz records and sports cars and Hitlerian ideas about being a Great Leader and turning Pala into what he calls a Modern State."

       "Three weeks ago," said Ranga, "he and the Rani were at the palace, in Shivapuram.  They invited a group of us from the University to come and listen to Murugan's ideas - on oil, on industrialization, on television, on armaments, on the Crusade of the Spirit."

       "Did he make any converts?"

       Ranga shook his head.  "Why would anyone want to exchange something rich and good and endlessly interesting for something bad and thin and boring?  We don't feel any need for your speedboats or your television.  Still less for your wars and revolutions, your revivals, your political slogans, your metaphysical nonsense from Rome and Moscow.  Did you hear of Maithuna?" he asked.

       "Maithuna?  What's that?"

       "Let's start with the historical background," Ranga answered; and with the engaging pedantry of an undergraduate delivering a lecture about matters which he himself had only lately heard of, he launched forth.  "Buddhism came to Pala about twelve hundred years ago, and it came not from Ceylon [Sri Lanka], which is what one would have expected, but from Bengal, and through Bengal, later on, from Tibet.  Result: we're Mahayanists, and our Buddhism is shot through and through with Tantra.  Do you know what Tantra is?"

       Will had to admit that he had only the haziest notion.

       "And to tell the truth," said Ranga, with a laugh that broke irrepressibly through the crust of his pedantry, "I don't really know much more than you do.  Tantra's an enormous subject and most of it, I guess, is just silliness and superstition - not worth bothering about.  But there's a hard core of sense.  If you're a Tantrik, you don't renounce the world or deny its value; you don't try to escape into a Nirvana apart from life, as the monks of the Southern School do.  No, you accept the world, and you make use of it; you make use of everything you do, of everything that happens to you, of all the things you see and hear and taste and touch, as so many means to your liberation from the prison of yourself."

       "Good talk," said Will in a tone of polite scepticism.

       "And something more besides," Ranga insisted.  "That's the difference," he added - and youthful pedantry modulated the eagerness of youthful proselytism, "that's the difference between your philosophy and ours.  Western philosophers, even the best of them - they're nothing more than good talkers.  Eastern philosophers are often rather bad talkers, but that doesn't matter.  Talk isn't the point.  Their philosophy is pragmatic and operational.  Like the philosophy of modern physics - except that the operations in question are psychological and the results transcendental.  Your metaphysicians make statements about the nature of man and the universe; but they don't offer the reader any way of testing the truth of those statements.  When we make statements, we follow them up with a list of operations that can be used for testing the validity of what we've been saying.  For example, Tat tvam asi, 'thou art That' - the heart of all our philosophy.  Tat tvam asi," he repeated.  "It looks like a proposition in metaphysics; but what it actually refers to is a psychological experience, and the operations by means of which the experience can be lived through are described by our philosophers, so that anyone who's willing to perform the necessary operations can test the validity of Tat tvam asi for himself.  The operations are called yoga, or dhyana, or Zen - or, in certain special circumstances, maithuna."

       "Which brings us back to my original question.  What is maithuna?"

       "Maybe you'd better ask Radha."

       Will turned to the little nurse.  "What is it?"

       "Maithuna," she answered gravely, "is the yoga of love."

       "Sacred or profane?"

       "There's no difference."

       "That's the whole point, "Ranga put in.  "When you do maithuna, profane love is sacred love."

       "Buddhatvan yoshidyonisansritan," the girl quoted.

       "None of your Sanskrit!  What does it mean?"

       "How would you translate Buddhatvan, Ranga?"

       "Buddhaness, Buddheity, the quality of being enlightened."

       Radha nodded and turned back to Will.  "It means the Buddhaness is in the yoni."

       "In the yoni?"  Will remembered those little stone emblems of the Eternal Feminine that he had bought, as presents for the girls at the office, from a hunchbacked vendor of bondieuseries at Benares.  Eight annas for a black yoni; twelve for the still more sacred image of the yoni-lingam.  "Literally in the yoni?" he asked.  "Or metaphorically."

       "What a ridiculous question!" said the little nurse, and she laughed her clear unaffected laugh of pure amusement.  "Do you think we make love metaphorically?  Buddhatvan yoshidyonisansritan," she repeated.  "It couldn't be more completely and absolutely literal."

       "Did you ever hear of the Oneida Community?" Ranga now asked.

       Will nodded.  He had known an American historian who specialized in nineteenth-century communities.  "But why do you know about it?" he asked.

       "Because it's mentioned in all our textbooks of applied philosophy.  Basically, maithuna is the same as what the Oneida people called Male Continence.  And that was the same as what Roman Catholics mean by coitus reservatus."

       "Reservatus," the little nurse repeated.  "It always makes me want to laugh.  'Such a reserved young man!'"  The dimples reappeared and there was a flash of white teeth.

       "Don't be silly," said Ranga severely.  "This is serious."

       She expressed her contrition. But 'reservatus' was really too funny.

       "In a word," Will concluded, "it's just birth control without contraceptives."

       "But that's only the beginning of the story," said Ranga.  "Maithuna is also something else.  Something even more important."  The undergraduate pedant had reasserted himself.  "Remember," he went on earnestly, "remember the point that Freud was always harping on."

       "Which point?  There were so many."

       "The point about the sexuality of children.  What we're born with, what we experience all through infancy and childhood, is a sexuality that isn't concentrated on the genitals; it's a sexuality diffused throughout the whole organism.  That's the paradise we inherit.  But the paradise gets lost as the child grows up.  Maithuna is the organized attempt to regain that paradise."  He turned to Radha.  "You've got a good memory," he said.  "What's that phrase of Spinoza's that they quote in the applied philosophy book?"

       "'Make the body capable of doing many things,'" she recited.

       "'This will help you to perfect the mind and so to come to the intellectual love of God.'"

       "Hence all the yogas," said Ranga.  "Including maithuna."

       "And it's a real yoga," the girl insisted.  "As good as raja yoga, or karma yoga, or bhakti yoga.  In fact, a great deal better, so far as most people are concerned.  Maithuna really gets them there."

       "What's 'there'?" Will asked.

       "'There' is where you know."

       "Know what?"

       "Know who in fact you are - and believe it or not," she added, "Tat tvam asi - thou art That, and so am I; That is me."  The dimples came to life, the teeth flashed.  "And That's also him."  She pointed at Ranga.  "Incredible, isn't it?"  She stuck out her tongue at him.  "And yet it's a fact."

       Ranga smiled, reached out and with an extended forefinger touched the tip of her nose.  "And not merely a fact," he said.  "A revealed truth."  He gave the nose a little tap.  "A revealed truth," he repeated.  "So mind your P's and Q's, young woman."

       "What I'm wondering," said Will, "is why we aren't all enlightened - I mean, if it's just a question of making love with a rather special kind of technique.  What's the answer to that?"

       "I'll tell you," Ranga began.

       But the girl cut him short.  "Listen," she said, "listen!"

       Will listened.  Faint and far off, but still distinct, he heard the strange inhuman voice that had first welcomed him to Pala.  "Attention," it was saying.  "Attention.  Attention ..."

       "That bloody bird again!"

       "But that's the secret."

       "Attention?  But a moment ago you were saying it was something else.  What about that young man who's so reserved?"

       "That's just to make it easier to pay attention."

       "And it does make it easier," Ranga confirmed.  "And that's the whole point of maithuna.  It's not the special technique that turns love-making into yoga; it's the kind of awareness that the technique makes possible.  Awareness of one's sensations and awareness of the not-sensation in every sensation."

       "What's a not-sensation?"

       "It's the raw material for sensation that my not-self provides me with."

       "And you can pay attention to your not-self?"

       "Of course."

       Will turned to the little nurse.  "You too?"

       "To myself," she answered, "and at the same time to my not-self.  And to Ranga's not-self, and to Ranga's self, and to Ranga's body, and to my body and everything it's feeling.  And to all the love and the friendship.  And to the mystery of the other person - the perfect stranger, who's the other half of your own self, and the same as your not-self.  And all the while one's paying attention to all the things that, if one were sentimental, or worse, if one were spiritual like the poor old Rani, one would find so unromantic and gross and sordid even.  But they aren't when one's fully aware of them, those things that are just as beautiful as all the rest, just as wonderful."

       "Maithuna is dhyana," Ranga concluded.  A new word, he evidently felt, would explain everything.

       "But what is dhyana?" Will asked.

       "Dhyana is contemplation."

       "Contemplation."

       Will thought of that strawberry-pink alcove above the Charing Cross Road.  Contemplation was hardly the word he would have chosen.  And yet even there, on second thoughts, even there he had found a kind of deliverance.  Those alienations in the changing light of Porter's Gin were alienations from his odious daytime self.  They were also, unfortunately, alienations from all the rest of his being - alienations from love, from intelligence, from common decency, from all consciousness but that of an excruciating frenzy by corpse-light or in the rosy glow of the cheapest, vulgarest illusion.  He looked again at Radha's shining face.  What happiness!  What a manifest conviction, not of the sin that Mr Bahu was so determined to make the world safe for, but of its serene and blissful opposite!  It was profoundly touching.  But he refused to be touched.  Noli me tangere - it was a categorical imperative.  Shifting the focus of his mind, he managed to see the whole thing as reassuringly ludicrous.  What shall we do to be saved?  The answer is in four letters.

       Smiling at his own little joke, "Were you taught maithuna at school?" he asked ironically.

       "At school," Radha answered with a simple matter-of-factness that took all the Rabelaisian wind out of his sails.

       "Everybody's taught it," Ranga added.

       "And when does the teaching begin?"

       "About the same time as trigonometry and advanced biology.  That's between fifteen and fifteen and a half."

       "And after they've learned maithuna, after they've gone out into the world and got married - that is if you ever do get married."

       "Oh, we do, we do," Radha assured him.

       "Do they still practise it?"

       "Not all of them, of course.  But a good many do."

       "All the time?"

       "Except when they want to have a baby?"

       "And those who don't want to have babies, but who might like to have a little change from maithuna - what do they do?"

       "Contraceptives," said Ranga laconically.

       "And are the contraceptives available?"

       "Available!  They're distributed by the government.  Free, gratis, and for nothing - except, of course, that they have to be paid for out of taxes."

       "The postman," Radha added, "delivers a thirty-night supply at the beginning of each month."

       "And the babies don't arrive?"

       "Only those we want.  Nobody has more than three, and most people stop at two."

       "With the result," said Ranga, reverting, with the statistics, to his pedantic manner, "that our population is increasing at less than a third of one per cent per annum.  Whereas Rendang's increase is as big as Ceylon's [Sri Lanka's] - almost three per cent.  And China's is two per cent, and India's about one point seven."

       "I was in China only a month ago," said Will.  "Terrifying!  And last year I spent four weeks in India.  And before India in Central America, which is outbreeding even Rendang and Ceylon.  Have either of you been in Rendang-Lobo?"

       Ranga nodded affirmatively.

       "Three days in Rendang," he explained.  "If you get into the Upper Sixth, it's part of the advanced sociology course.  They let you see for yourself what the Outside is like."

       "And what did you think of the Outside?" Will inquired.

       He answered with another question.  "When you were in Rendang-Lobo, did they show you the slums?"

       "On the contrary, they did their best to prevent me from seeing the slums.  But I gave them the slip."

       Gave them the slip, he was vividly remembering, on his way back to the hotel from that grisly cocktail party at the Rendang Foreign Office.  Everybody who was anybody was there.  All the local dignitaries and their wives - uniforms and medals, Dior and emeralds.  All the important foreigners - diplomats galore, British and American oilmen, six members of the Japanese trade mission, a lady pharmacologist from Leningrad [St Petersberg], two Polish engineers, a German tourist who just happened to be a cousin of Krupp von Bohlen, an enigmatic Armenian representing a very important financial consortium in Tangiers, and, beaming with triumph, the fourteen Czech technicians who had come with last month's shipment of tanks and cannon and machine guns from Skoda.  "And these are the people," he had said to himself as he walked down the marble steps of the Foreign Office into Liberty Square, "there are the people who rule the world.  Twenty-nine hundred millions of us at the mercy of a few scores of politicians, a few thousands of tycoons and generals and money-lenders.  Ye are the cyanide of the earth - and the cyanide will never, never lose its savour."

       After the glare of the cocktail party, after the laughter and the luscious smells of canapés and Chanel-sprayed women, those alleys behind the brand new Palace of Justice had seemed doubly dark and noisome, those poor wretches camping out under the palm trees of Independence Avenue more totally abandoned by God and man than ever the homeless, hopeless thousands he had seen sleeping like corpses in the streets of Calcutta.  And now he thought of that little boy, that tiny pot-bellied skeleton, whom he had picked up, bruised and shaken by a fall from the back of the little girl, scarcely larger than himself, who was carrying him - had picked up and, led by the other child, had carried back, carried down, to the windowless cellar that, for nine of them (he had counted the dark ringwormy heads) was home.

       "Keeping babies alive," he said, "healing the sick, preventing the sewage from getting into the water supply - one starts with doing things that are obviously and intrinsically good.  And how does one end?  One ends by increasing the sum of human misery and jeopardizing civilization.  It's the kind of cosmic practical joke that God seems really to enjoy."

       He gave the young people one of his flayed, ferocious grins.

       "God has nothing to do with it," Ranga retorted, "and the joke isn't cosmic, it's strictly man-made.  These things aren't like gravity or the second law of thermo-dynamics; they don't have to happen.  They happen only if people are stupid enough to allow them to happen.  Here in Pala we haven't allowed them to happen, so the joke hasn't been played on us.  We've had good sanitation for the best part of a century - and still we're not overcrowded, we're not miserable, we're not under a dictatorship.  And the reason is very simple: we chose to behave in a sensible and realistic way."

       "How on earth were you able to choose?" Will asked.

       "The right people were intelligent at the right moment," said Ranga.  "But it must be admitted - they were also very lucky.  In fact Pala as a whole has been extraordinarily lucky.  It's had the luck, first of all, never to have been anyone's colony.  Rendang has a magnificent harbour.  That brought them an Arab invasion in the Middle Ages.  We have no harbour, so the Arabs left us alone and we're still Buddhists or Shivaites - that is, when we're not Tantrik agnostics."

       "Is that what you are?" Will inquired.  "A Tantrik agnostic?"

       "With Mahayana trimmings," Ranga qualified.  "Well, to return to Rendang.  After the Arabs it got the Portuguese.  We didn't.  No harbour, no Portuguese.  Therefore no Catholic minority, no blasphemous nonsense about it being God's will that people should breed themselves into subhuman misery, no organized resistance to birth control.  And that isn't our only blessing: after a hundred and  twenty years of the Portuguese, Ceylon and Rendang got the Dutch.  And after the Dutch came the English.  We escaped both these infestations.  No Dutch, no English, and therefore no planters, no coolie labour, no cash crops for export, no systematic exhaustion of our soil.  Also no whisky, no Calvinism, no syphilis, no foreign administrators.  We were left to go our own way and take responsibility for our own affairs."

       "You certainly were lucky."

       "And on top of that amazing good luck," Ranga went on, "there was the amazing good management of Murugan the Reformer and Andrew MacPhail.  Has Dr Robert talked to you about his great-grandfather?"

       "Just a few words, that's all."

       "Did he tell you about the founding of the Experimental Station?"

       Will shook his head.

1"he Experimental Station," said Ranga, "had a lot to do with our population policy.  It all began with a famine.  Before he came to Pala, Dr Andrew spent a few years in madras.  The second year he was there, the monsoon failed.  The crops were burnt up, the tanks and even the wells went dry.  Except for the English and the rich, there was no food.  People died like flies.  There's a famous passage in Dr Andrew's memoirs about the famine.  A description and then a comment.  He'd had to listen to a lot of sermons when he was a boy, and there was one he kept remembering now, as he worked among the starving Indians.  'Man cannot live by bread alone' - that was the text, and the preacher had been so eloquent that several people were converted.  'Man cannot live by bread alone.'  but without bread, he now saw, there is no mind, no spirit, no inner light, no Father in Heaven.  There is only hunger, there is only despair and then apathy and finally death."

       "Another of the cosmic jokes," said Will.  "And this one was formulated by Jesus himself.  'To those who have shall be given, and from those who have not shall be taken away even that which they have' - the bare possibility of being human.  It's the cruellest of all God's jokes, and also the commonest.  I've seen it being played on millions of men and women, millions of small children - all over the world."

       "So you can understand why that famine made such an indelible impression on Dr Andrew's mind.  He was resolved, and so was his friend the Raja, that in Pala, at least, there should always be bread.  Hence their decision to set up the Experimental Station.  Rothamsted-in-the-Tropics was a great success.  In a few years we had new strains of rice and maize and millet and breadfruit.  We had better breeds of cattle and chickens.  Better ways of cultivating and composting; and in the fifties, we built the first superphosphate factory east of Berlin.  Thanks to all these things people were eating better, living longer, losing fewer children.  Ten years after the founding of Rothamsted-in-the-Tropics the Raja took a census.  The population had been stable, more of less, for a century.  Now it had started to rise.  In fifty or sixty years, Dr Andrew foresaw, Pala would be transformed into the kind of festering slum that Rendang is today.  What was to be done?   Dr Andrew had read his Malthus.  'Food production increases arithmetically; population increased geometrically.  Man has only two choices: he can either leave the matter to Nature, who will solve the population problem in the old familiar way, by famine, pestilence, and war: or else (Malthus being a clergyman) he can keep down his numbers by moral restraint.'"

       "Mor-ral R-restr-raint," the little nurse repeated rolling her r's in the Indonesian parody of a Scottish divine.  "Mor-ral r-restr-raint!  Incidentally," she added, "Dr Andrew had just married the Raja's sixteen-year-old niece."

       "And that," said Ranga, "was yet another reason for revising Malthus.  Famine on this side, restraint on that.  Surely there must be some better, happier, humaner way between the Malthusian horns.  And of course there was such a way even then, even before the age of rubber and spermicides.  There were sponges, there was soap, there were condoms made of every known waterproof material from oiled silk tot he blind gut of sheep.  The whole armoury of Paleo-Birth Control."

       "And how did the Raja and his subjects react to Paleo-Birth Control?  With horror?"

       "Not at all.  They were good Buddhists, and every good Buddhist knows that begetting is merely postponed assassination.  Do your best to get off the Wheel of Birth and Death, and for heaven's sake don't go about putting superfluous victims on to the Wheel.  For a good Buddhist, birth control makes metaphysical sense.  And for a village community of rice growers, it makes social and economics sense.  There must be enough young people to work the fields and support the aged and the little ones.  But not too many of them; for then neither the old nor the workers nor their children will have enough to eat.  In the old days, couples had to have six children in order to raise two or three.  Then came clean water and the Experimental Station.  Out of six children five now survived.  The old patterns of breeding had ceased to make sense.  The only objection to Paleo-Birth Control was its crudity.  But fortunately there was a more aesthetic alternative.  The Raja was a Tantrik initiate and had learned the yoga of love.  Dr Andrew was told about maithuna and, being a true man of science, agreed to try it.  He and his young wife were given the necessary instruction."

       "With what results?"

       "Enthusiastic approval."

       "That's the way everybody feels about it," said Radha.

       "Now, now, none of your sweeping generalizations!  Some people feel that way, others don't.  Dr Andrew was one of the enthusiasts.  The whole matter was lengthily discussed.  In the end they decided that contraceptives should be like education - free, tax-supported and, though not compulsory, as nearly as possible universal.  For those who felt the need for something more refined, there would be instruction in the yoga of love."

       "Do you mean to tell me that they got away with it?"

       "It wasn't really so difficult.  Maithuna was orthodox.  People weren't being asked to do anything against their religion.  On the contrary, they were being given a flattering opportunity to join the elect by learning something esoteric."

       "And don't forget the most important point of all," the little nurse chimed in.  "For women - all women, and I don't care what you say about sweeping generalizations - the yoga of love means perfection, means being transformed and taken out of themselves and completed."  There was a brief silence.  "And now," she resumed in another, brisker tone, "it's high time we left you to your siesta."

       "Before you go," said Will, "I'd like to write a letter.  Just a brief note to my boss to say that I'm alive and in no immediate danger of being eaten by the natives."

       Radha went foraging in Dr Robert's study and came back with paper, pencil, and an envelope.

       "Veni, vidi," Will scrawled.  "I was wrecked, I met the Rani and her collaborator from Rendang, who implies that he can deliver the goods in return for baksheesh to the tune (he was specific) of twenty thousand pounds.  Shall I negotiate on this basis?  If you cable, Proposed article O.K., I shall go ahead.  If No hurry for article I shall let the matter drop.  Tell my mother I am safe and shall soon be writing."

       "There," he said as he handed the envelope, sealed and addressed, to Ranga.  "May I ask you to buy me a stamp and get this off in time to catch tomorrow's plane."

       "Without fail," the boy promised.

       Watching them go, Will felt a twinge of conscience.  What charming young people!  And here he was, plotting with Bahu and the forces of history, to subvert their world.  He comforted himself with the thought that, if he didn't do it, somebody else would.   And even if Joe Aldehyde did get his concession, they could still go on making love in the style to which they were accustomed.  Or couldn't they?

       From the door the little nurse turned back for a final word.  "No reading now," she wagged her finger at him.  "Go to sleep."

       "I never sleep during the day," Will assured her with a certain perverse satisfaction.