CHAPTER SEVEN
It was with
a slightly apprehensive feeling that Andrew accepted an invitation from
Pauline, following their return from the local pub later that evening, to take
a peek at her book collection and listen to a private recital of some of her
poems. Having spent the greater part of
the evening in heated conversation with Philip and Edwin, he was not in the
best of moods to respond to such an invitation, since somewhat tired of
intellectual matters and desirous of some privacy. Besides, he half-feared that she would revert
to her conversation on writing and exasperate him with a fresh barrage of
ingenuous opinions and/or questions. But
more because it was impossible to refuse than from any heartfelt desire to
witness her culture, he found himself accompanying Mr Grace's daughter up the
well-carpeted stairs, having abandoned the two tipsy students in the lounge to
their dialectical and even post-dialectical ruminations. What, if anything, they would think he was up
to with her, he didn't know. But it was
not improbable that he was simply going to bed, and that Pauline had merely
elected to escort him to his room.... Which, to all appearances, was exactly
what she was doing, save for the fact that her room happened to be conveniently
situated en route, and contained a quantity of books which she felt sure
would be of some interest to the writer - books she had begun collecting at the
tender age of ten and had continued to amass, at regular intervals, right up to
the present.
Extending two-thirds of the way along the
length of one wall and upwards to a height of approximately six feet, her books
rested on several shelves of brightly varnished pine and presented their
variously coloured spines to Andrew's wary eye.
Of the total number housed in this way, which must have been somewhere
in the region of two thousand, a goodly number were Penguin paperbacks, their
orange or grey spines betraying varying degrees of wear, some of them very
creased, the spines curved inwards and looking as though they might collapse or
disintegrate at the slightest provocation, others scarcely creased at all,
either because they were less old or hadn't been
re-read. It was evident, from a cursory
inspection of the collection, that Pauline was no stranger to books but must
have spent the greater part of her free time thumbing through one paperback
after another, with the occasional hardback thrown-in for good measure -
presumably when favourable financial circumstances had enabled her to obtain
one, or as a Christmas and/or birthday gift.
However, much as he was a confirmed
bookworm himself, the spectacle of so many worn, dilapidated paperbacks packed
together on the shelves, like canned sardines, had a distinctly depressing
effect on Andrew, who had sometime previously disposed of a large number of
worn paperbacks, stemming from the days of his own youthful and therefore more
economical collecting, and replaced such of them as he especially admired with
hardbacks, so that his current library, comprising merely some five-hundred
books, was largely composed of the latter. Pauline, to his mind, had evidently not yet
reached that revolution in one's sense of values which made the acquisition of
hardbacks a must for any discriminating collector but was still a victim of
financial constraint and, in all probability, the accompanying ignorance with
regard to the body/head distinction which the softback/hardback
dichotomy signified to Andrew and thus, by implication, stood as a matter of
incontrovertible fact. No doubt, she
would come to realize, in due time, that the great literary masters were better
served on fine paper with larger and clearer print between stronger covers ...
than ever they were by the coarse paper and tiny, not to say faint, print so
often resorted to by the manufacturers of cheap paperbacks. Admittedly, paperbacks were of immense social
value, inasmuch as they enabled people who couldn't afford hardbacks to read
the classics (if, indeed, classic literature was what appealed to them) at a
relatively economic cost. But for anyone
with any discrimination in such matters and, needless to say, the means to
sustain it, there was quite a difference between reading a novel like, say, Aldous Huxley's Point Counter Point in
paperback and reading it in hardback.
Only the latter, with its finer paper and stronger print, could really
do justice to the intellectual dignity of the work, making one conscious that
one had a precious literary treasure in one's hands which it was worth keeping
and, when the fancy took one, re-reading.
After all, did one collect books for the mere sake of collecting?
Well, on deeper reflection, Andrew had to
admit to himself that some people did.
There were undoubtedly bibliomaniacs and bibliophiliacs
of one persuasion or another to be found in the world - people whose principal
reason for buying books was the sheer pleasure of collecting, or witnessing the
materialistic expansion of their library.
Understandably, such people would not take too kindly to the phrase
'mere sake of collecting'. But for
Andrew Doyle - who, incidentally, wasn't entirely immune to such pleasures
himself - the thought of keeping a book one wasn't likely to re-read found
little support with him, primarily because he regarded books from a cultural
rather than a material angle, and this in spite of his penchant for
hardbacks. If a book didn't particularly
appeal to him, he made little or no effort to include it in his library. For, comparatively small though his current
library was, it represented books for which he had a special fondness or
weakness - not books he had simply collected.
Thus if - as was indeed the case - he had
all eleven of Aldous Huxley's published novels there,
it wasn't simply because he had, at one time or another, bought them all but,
more significantly, because he had a distinct predilection for Huxley's novels,
any one of which he would have been capable of re-reading from time to
time. Indeed, he would have been capable
of re-reading virtually anything by Huxley, the early poems notwithstanding,
but that's essentially beside-the-point.
Suffice it to say that there was nothing in his library which was there
just because he had happened to buy it.
If he didn't like a particular book he would dispose of it, no matter
how much it had cost him. But he was
such a careful, thoughtful, reserved, and discriminating collector ... that he
very rarely found himself being obliged to resort to such a drastic
tactic. Then, too, he made judicious use
of the local library, experimenting with authors he would probably have avoided
had circumstances obliged him to buy their works, and thereby extending his
literary horizons comparatively free-of-charge.
Only when he had borrowed a book he particularly liked would he consider
the possibility of expanding his small private collection by actually buying the work
from a city book-seller, in order to be able to re-read it at leisure in years
to come. In this fashion, by first
'sounding out' a work through the public library and then - assuming it had
made an especially favourable impression on him - buying it for private
reference, he had acquired such profound works as Thomas Mann's Dr Faustus,
Hermann Hesse's The Glass Bead Game, Raymond Roussel's Locus Solus, and
J.K. Huysmans' Against the Grain. Such novels, he believed, were worthy of the
shelves of any discriminating collector!
But novels like that were not, alas, to be
found on young Pauline's shelves, as the writer, having supposed as much
anyway, now had his suppositions confirmed by the depressing spectacle arrayed
in front of him. Only average classics
reposed there, though this was really more a credit to her than a disgrace, in
that she conformed, by and large, to the dictates of her sex, age, education,
class, financial circumstances, and cheerful temperament. One could hardly expect to have found Les Chants
de Maldoror, Tropic of Cancer, or Steppenwolf
on such an innocent young Englishwoman's shelves, even if the
presence there of Notes from Underground and Women in Love was
somewhat surprising.... Though the spine of the Dostoyevsky
was somewhat less creased than that of the D.H. Lawrence, suggesting the
likelihood that its contents had received only the most cursory attention.
But whatever the actual case - and Andrew
had no desire to inquire too deeply into her literary predilections - it was
evident that the greater part of Pauline's collection wasn't such as would
appeal to a mature taste, since decidedly juvenile in character. Comprised, in the main, of romances, with a
sprinkling of adventure, crime, thriller, and sci-fi novels thrown-in for good
measure, her library suggested an easy-going and rather haphazard approach to
collecting which radically conflicted with the writer's own overly fastidious
and discriminating one. Had she not been
so young, he would have dismissed her collection with a contemptuous
indifference. But the fact of her youthful
inexperience, coupled to an eclecticism he had encountered not once but a
number of times in the past with females, prevented him from taking a
condescending line and induced him, instead, to proffer a few friendly remarks
concerning the breadth and extent of her reading. In short, by not taking her too seriously, he
was able to avoid treating her condescendingly, and thus replace any criticisms
he might otherwise have levelled at her tastes by a half-humorous curiosity.
It was interesting for him to note, too,
that she prided herself more on the size of her collection - which she
evidently considered large - than on its quality, and that the acquisition of
additional books was to her what the achievement of additional honours would be
to a conventional writer - an indication of growing prestige. Evidently the more books one had on show, the
better-read and the more highly-educated one would appear to other people, even
if, unbeknown to oneself, the individual quality or literary value of a
majority of those books wasn't guaranteed to confirm or in any degree
substantiate it!
Such, at any rate, was the impression
Andrew was now receiving from Pauline, as he casually scanned the tightly
packed contents of her shelves and continued to comment favourably where he saw
fit, noting, all the while, the ineffable pleasure it evidently gave her to
have a writer witnessing her dedication to books! No doubt, she would have felt less proud had
a musician or an artist been scanning them instead, even if closely. The thought of inviting Harding into her
bedroom-cum-library probably wouldn't even have crossed her mind. Like it or not, the prerogative for
estimating her culture devolved upon Andrew, and it was up to him to justify it
to the extent he could, that's to say, to the extent his tact would permit
him. Otherwise poor young Pauline would
risk becoming severely disillusioned with him and unable to regard him as quite
the literary hero he had formerly seemed, when his presence in their house, as
one of her father's guests, had suddenly confronted her with a degree of
pleasure she had not in the least anticipated.
He had, in short, no option but to live-up to the reputation she had
inflicted upon him, if only on her account.... Which was precisely what he was
endeavouring to do, as he stood in front of the shelves and surveyed their dilapidated
contents with the air of a literary connoisseur, albeit a rather partial
one. He had an act to pull off and, as
far as Pauline's gratified responses now indicated, he was pulling it off
convincingly enough, justifying the special confidence she had placed in him
when, from a pressing desire to be recognized as a kindred spirit, she had
invited him to step 'on stage', a short while previously, to flatter her
intellectual vanity.
But such vanity wasn't to be flattered
solely by his knowledgeable presence in front of her library. For now that he had pompously contemplated
the battered spines for several minutes and proffered a few discerning, not to
say flattering, remarks concerning her taste, it was time for her to switch to
the poems and read aloud from a number of her most recent compositions, in the
hope that he would find them no less meritorious - a thing which, under the
circumstances of his charitable desire to please, seemed not unlikely. Thus, after the title of the last paperback
on the top shelf had been assimilated in due connoisseurial
fashion, Andrew, who was now invited to sit on the edge of her bed, found
himself listening to the graceful flow of her voice as she read, not without a
hint of self-consciousness, certain examples of her lyric poetry, some of
which, at other times, would have been enough to set his teeth on edge. Take, for example, the following, entitled
'The Lovers' Scheme':-
Let us leave
for peaceful places,
Far away from city smoke.
Let
us seek the distant races,
Lands, and climes which grant us scope.
Discontent
contracts our minds
As the days slip out-of-sight.
Where
will we be if our finds
Change
the darkness into light?
What
constraint is good advice
If boredom be the means?
What
true man would sacrifice
His spirit for some beans?
If,
in time, we leave together,
Traipsing
through the hay;
If,
in truth, we live each other,
Love
will have its day.
Or, again,
the following, entitled 'Unrequited Lover':-
If I were to flee
to some faraway place,
Escape
the town where love was sad,
An
image of you would stay in my head,
Regret
would pollute my grace.
If
I were to sob until, full of shame,
I
slash my wrist and let it bleed,
Or
throw to the dogs all the things of greed,
You'd
still be as free of blame.
If
I, on a quest, were to search for gold,
Recapture
joy in wine and rhyme,
Then
sell for a future my wisdom and time,
Your
love would stay warm while mine grows cold.
What was Andrew Doyle, who hadn't written
a poem in over a decade and scarcely read one during the past five years, to
make of all that? How could he be
expected to relate to the sentiments, romantic or otherwise, of this young
poetess, who obviously wanted him to acknowledge the fact that she possessed a
certain poetic gift, not to say licence, as well? Naturally, being something of a devotee of
culture, he made a brave effort to enter into the spirit of her poems, to identify
with their heroine's viewpoint. Yet his
brave effort was scarcely sufficient to guarantee him any success in the
matter! Quite the contrary, the words
seemed to pass over his head as though they had wings, or were in a foreign
language which he couldn't understand, or had been written by a creature not of
this world. The gulf between her poetic
idiom and his prosaic understanding was too wide to be bridged by brave efforts
or, indeed, by anything else. The twelve
years which separated them seemed more like an eternity, so different were
their respective attitudes and approaches to literature.
To be sure, it was as much as Andrew could
do, during the course of Pauline's somewhat self-conscious recitation, to
prevent himself from giggling at the silliness of various of the sentiments expressed
in her poems, the unabashed naiveté of which conflicted so violently with what
experience in love and life had taught him ... that they appeared not to have
any bearing on diurnal reality whatsoever!
It was so long since he had attempted any flights of poetic fancy
himself that he couldn't quite reconcile himself to them, though he could
remember well enough why he had abandoned poetry and concentrated on prose
instead: simply to earn a living. To do
something, moreover, that necessitated more work and kept the pen and/or
typewriter in fairly constant motion.
The thought of calling a short lyric poem 'a work' struck his
fundamentally hard-working imagination as being too ridiculous for words. A poem seemed to him too trivial a thing to
take any pride in as a work of art. It
had only served his purposes when a youth and, like most literary-minded
youths, he had lacked the courage or patience, not to mention know-how, to
tackle anything better. As an
introduction to writing, poetry was not without its merits. But as a vehicle for expressing one's
thoughts throughout adulthood, as a form to which one remained faithful for the
rest of one's life, that was quite another matter, and few indeed were those
who did so, even among the aesthetes! In
a sense, mature poets were the Peter Pans of literature, the adult children who
had never grown out of their youthful infatuation with verse. There seemed to Andrew something
intrinsically childish, not to say foolish, about a grown man continuing to
produce little verses, like a sixteen-year-old, and actually taking a pride in
it. 'Ah,' one was tempted to sneer, 'how
touching, how pretty his little poesies are!'
Indeed, it was an ironic commentary on
poets and poems in general that the poet whom Andrew had most admired as a
youth, viz. Yeats, should be among the writers whom he most despised as an
adult, and largely on account of the fact that W.B. had continued to write
poems right up until his death in 1939.
Not so Rimbaud, who outgrew or, at any rate, abandoned his youthful
poetry at the tender age of nineteen.
And not so with a host of other youthful poets either who, if they
didn't abandon poetry altogether, at least modified it towards something more
manly as the decades passed - as in the cases of Ezra Pound and, to a lesser
extent, James Joyce, whose Gas from a Burner was remembered by Andrew
as one of the best poems he had ever read.
But for an eighteen-year-old like Pauline, the recitation of pretty
little verses was still in order and therefore quite acceptable to Andrew, if a
shade insipid. After all, it wasn't
really all that long ago that he had been in a similar position, having wanted
to read examples of his verse - representative of a cross, he liked to flatter
himself, between Baudelaire and Oscar Wilde - to whatever sympathetic ear he
could find. It was a phase through which
most of the more creatively gifted literary youths of each generation passed
before they attained to a deeper, more realistic outlook on life and, in a
majority of cases, abandoned poetry altogether.
Again, it was a credit to Pauline that she was also of this
elect-of-spirit who thrived on poetic creation.
Whether she would continue to thrive on it at university, however,
remained to be seen; though the odds were definitely stacked against her
continuing to do so after she left it, with or without a graduation
certificate. If literature was to be her
calling, her vocation, then the novel would certainly prove more to her advantage,
even if the vast number of people writing them these days tended to reduce
one's prospects of earning a living from it.
Better, in Andrew's view, to be a fool with prose than a fool with
poetry, and so be someone who gave the world more truth or, at any rate,
knowledge than illusion! Yes, better by
far, insofar as human evolution was gradually tending away from illusion into
truth, away from the subconscious mind into the superconscious
one, and thus towards Ultimate Truth.
However, fictional literature in an age of
incipient transcendentalism hardly struck Andrew as the most progressive of
pursuits, either! On the contrary, it
was essentially outmoded, passé, aligned with the ego and all that the
ego represented. With the gradual
decline of the ego throughout the nineteenth century, following the expansion
of urbanization and the consequent shift in egocentric balance between the
subconscious and superconscious minds in favour of superconscious extremism, it stood to reason that
literature, which like other branches of the arts depended on the subconscious
for its essential illusion or fictitiousness, would also be in decline as
traditionally conceived. The rise, on
the other hand, of philosophical literature in the twentieth century was but a
reflection of our ongoing evolution towards greater degrees of truth, as
germane to the superconscious, and a disinclination,
in consequence, to abide by the canons of traditional literature, which
required a good deal more illusion than the most evolved writers were now
prepared to provide. And even
philosophical literature was destined, in Andrew's estimation, to be completely
transcended, as we progressed so far into the superconscious
that the element of fictitiousness in it became unacceptable to us and
therefore no longer practicable. In the meantime,
however, a degree of fiction was still possible, those best qualified to
produce it generally being among the less sophisticated writers of the
age.
Thus, as far as Pauline's literary
ambitions were concerned, there was certainly a chance that circumstances would
favour her and enable her to write something approximating to traditional
literature, in which illusion still got the better of truth, and the fictional
element was accordingly uppermost. But
great literature it would never be, and not only because, as a rule, young
women like Pauline weren't qualified, neither temperamentally nor
intellectually, to produce such a thing but, more particularly, because great
literature could hardly be produced in an age essentially inimical to it, only in
one which encouraged it - an age in which the illusory was not regarded with
suspicion and disdain.
Nowadays, however, no-one with any
relationship to the leading intellectual/spiritual developments of the age
could possibly allow themselves to champion dualism,
and thereby produce traditional literature, in which conflict and
differentiation prevailed over the passivity of transcendental unity. At worst, they would compromise to the extent
of producing philosophical literature, where passivity, in the form of
discussion and/or reflection, got the better of activity, and truth accordingly
prevailed over illusion. That was what,
following in Aldous Huxley's estimable footsteps,
Andrew was doing anyway, and it was what he intended to continue doing as long
as necessary, extending the domain of the philosophical over the fictional with
each successive work - a policy which probably wouldn't endear him to the
general public, but one which nonetheless reflected the degree of his
allegiance to the superconscious and, hence, to a
hankering after spiritual leadership, to his budding status as one of the more
evolved writers of his time.
No doubt, this status would be more
clearly defined with the assistance of essays and/or aphorisms, which he also
liked to write as a complementary mode of intellectual creativity to his
philosophical literature, thereby adding his name to the ranks of such
compromise writers as Huxley, Hesse, Henry Miller, Koestler, Sartre, Norman Mailer, and Camus,
who stood half-way, it seemed to him, between the sage and the artist. Better, of course, to be a pure philosopher
than a hybrid, and thus pursue truth to a much greater extent. But if, for various reasons, that wasn't
possible, well then, better to be a hybrid, an artist/writer in Barthe's paradoxical phrase, than simply an artist, and
thus side more with truth. For fiction was ever illusory, no matter how naturalistic or
realistic its author endeavoured to make it, and therefore contrary to the
domain of truth.
A society which no longer produces or
reads fiction would be unquestionably superior, in Andrew's view, to one which
does, being closer to the post-human millennium - that coming time in which
literature ceases to have even the slightest influence or applicability. Yet a society which no longer produces or
reads philosophy but, with the aid of Transcendental Meditation, simply
experiences truth, would be superior again - the closest of all to the
post-human millennium in terms of godly bliss.
Alas, Western society hadn't yet outgrown
its fictions, being the producer and consumer of the greatest amount of
commercial literature the world had ever known!
But (if this was any consolation) it was certainly doing so, and would
doubtless continue to do so, as we progressed further and further into the superconscious and thereby gradually freed ourselves from
the illusory shackles of the past. The
assault on traditional literature from the vantage-point of anti-literature
and/or philosophical literature would have to exhaust itself in due course, as
we increasingly confined ourselves to the production and assimilation of
truth. In the meantime, however, they
were the only modes of creativity acceptable to anyone with the faintest
glimmer of spiritual leadership. Those
who weren't for the literary avant-garde, in its various manifestations, were
simply mediocrities and simpletons for whom the egocentric tradition had more
substance, and to whom traditional criteria of art were accordingly of more
relevance. One couldn't very well
congratulate them on their conservatism, born of ignorance and stupidity, as
though it signified the most honourable and perspicacious stance possible! If they persisted in reading or writing
something approximating to egocentric literature, too fucking bad! For it wouldn't win them the approbation of
those who had gone beyond such habits and accordingly made it their business to
forge a higher one. In the time-honoured
battle between 'the quick' and 'the slow', 'the slow' were in for a
roasting! Illusion might be at home in
Hell, but it could have no bearing whatsoever on Heaven. It was only by writing post-egocentric
literature that one could hope to justify, if only temporarily, the procedure
of writing literature at all. In due
course, even that would prove unnecessary.
But, until then, one had to persist or, as some would say, persevere
with the degree of literary evolution compatible with modern society. One had to be an avant-gardist.
Yes, a post-egocentric avant-gardist
was precisely what Andrew considered himself to be, he whose first two novels
had broken with traditional conventions of plot, characterization, description,
action, fiction, grammar, etc., in the interests of a greater degree of
philosophical integrity. If Huxley to
some extent progressively dispensed with the traditional conventions of
literature, endowing his finest novels with a preponderance of discussion over
action, passivity over conflict, truth over illusion, goodness over evil,
transcendentalism over dualism, then Andrew Doyle intended to go one stage
better and tip the imbalance in favour of philosophy, truth, light, etc., even
further than Huxley had done, thereby building on that master's example and
extending the progress of truth in literature a stage further along the road to
our future spiritual salvation, creating, in the process, an abstract
idealism.
For a disciple who didn't build on his
master's example was unworthy of ever becoming a master himself, since a
traitor to evolution. If he didn't build
on it he could only stand still or turn against it, and the latter, leading
back to more illusion, conflict, dualism and action ... in deference, most
probably, to cinematic barbarism ... was hardly guaranteed to assist in the
cause of human progress or help bring about the long-awaited post-human
millennium! Reaction, clearly, was
unthinkable, unworthy of any true discipleship.
If one didn't take literature further off the 'gold standard' of
illusion, one might as well give-up writing altogether. For one wouldn't be assisting the cause of
enlightenment or moral progress, but simply be holding the reader back,
dragging him down to a level wholly incompatible with transcendental
strivings. If we have to be weaned away
from a dependence on the arts, it won't be done via the production of works
corresponding to traditional art but, rather, via works which, in turning
against such art, whether implicitly or explicitly, weaken our taste for it,
thereby making it easier for us to climb onto the higher level, in which
illusion has no place whatsoever. For if
traditional art isn't, in a manner of speaking, rendered contemptible, we shall
find it that much harder to abandon illusion.
Fortunately, the most enlightened modern
art was certainly doing its best to wean us from our dependence on the
illusory! Although we may not entirely
succeed in freeing ourselves from fictions in the foreseeable future,
nonetheless it cannot be denied that we're gradually breaking away from them,
maturing, as it were, into the fullness of a life lived solely for truth. The superconscious
beckons us on, no matter how highly some of us may think of the greatest
egocentric achievements of man in his prime as man. Life, however, doesn't stand still. It requires constant change, and anyone who
doesn't change with it, who requires of painting or music or literature that it
always remains the same is, if not a monster, then an enemy of life. Certainly an enemy of progress!
In his estimation Andrew was neither an
enemy neither of life nor of progress but very much a participator in it, as
his most recent writings - more pro-philosophical than anti-literary -
adequately demonstrated. If he wasn't
yet transcendental enough to be a sage, he was at least insufficiently
dualistic to be an artist in the egocentric narrative tradition, and this was
something on which he secretly prided himself.
For in his assumption that the contemplative man was as inherently
superior to the man balanced between action and contemplation as the latter to
the man-of-action, he made no bones about giving pride of honour in his novels
to contemplatives, whether mystical or scholarly, and directing matters so that
conflict and action were reduced to a bare minimum. In such fashion, he hoped to discourage his
readers from taking men-of-action too seriously, to remind them that evolution
was increasingly tending towards the passive, and that it was the sacred
destiny of mankind to progress towards a stage where the passive entirely came
to supersede the active, and they entered the millennial Beyond in transcendent
bliss. Needless to say, mankind still
had a long way to go before that happened!
But the fact that modern life, with its television culture, bore
testimony to the predominance of the passive over the active ... gave one ample
grounds for believing it would eventually come about.
Thus, in loyalty to his spiritual bent,
Andrew did everything he could to stress the superiority of the contemplative
life, fastidiously avoiding literary action as much as possible. If he hadn't yet succeeded in producing a
work to match Huxley's Island for spiritual leadership, he was
nevertheless determined to go beyond that master's most transcendental and
predominantly passive achievement in due course, extending the boundaries of
the philosophical over the fictional until the latter almost completely
disappeared beneath the dictates of spiritual progress. Not for anything would he allow himself to be
dissuaded from such a task by the amount of stupid, irrelevant, and reactionary
criticism which had greeted Huxley's last and, from the avant-garde standpoint,
greatest novel. If certain hidebound
critics found such a radically idealistic work unacceptable or unintelligible,
that was too bad! He wouldn't allow
himself to be intimidated by people whose moribund evaluations of progressive
developments in contemporary literature were largely conditioned by the
philistine nature of their journalistic constraints! That a novel of such unprecedented
philosophical bias should have been judged on conventional literary grounds ...
was indeed a tragedy for its author. But
perhaps, in time, such regrettable misunderstandings would cease to occur, as
people grew to acclimatize themselves to increasingly transcendental criteria
of literary creation, and thereupon attached far less importance to the
production of illusions or to the establishment of an antithetical balance
between, say, action and contemplation.
What authors like Huxley and, for that matter, Arthur Koestler (for The Call-Girls certainly hadn't
escaped our hero's attention) had pioneered at the risk of literary ostracism,
others would increasingly take for granted, regarding with unmitigated disdain
anything which smacked of traditional literature in the face of revolutionary precedent! Now that such examples had been set, there
could be no excuse for a serious, self-respecting writer failing to take note
of them. Evolution could not be
reversed!
But where, exactly, did Pauline Grace
figure where the death of illusion was concerned? Where, exactly, was she in relation to the
novel? Indeed, was she anywhere at
all? No, in a sense she wasn't, having still to tackle the creation of one. Yet it was clear, from what Andrew had
already gleaned on the subject, that she had literary ambitions which,
following her 'time' at university, she intended to fulfil, to the extent that
circumstances would permit her. A novel,
then, was what she planned to produce, though, in all probability, it would be
a rather different kind of novel from those already produced by Andrew
Doyle. Being young, naive, and
worldly-minded moreover, she would doubtless do her best to approximate to
egocentric literature. She would give
illusion a much greater role to play than the more progressive novelists did,
and so produce something they wouldn't particularly care to write, never mind
read!
However, even then, there would still be a
comparatively large number of people for whom long passages of illusion between
the covers of a novel were quite acceptable, even desirable, and these
less-evolved or, depending on one's viewpoint, more conservative minds would
probably constitute the backbone of her reading public. Thus she would more than likely make some
professional headway in the world, if only on a relatively modest footing. It was unlikely, anyway, that she would
become another Andrew, much less another Henry Miller or Hermann Hesse, since young women weren't, as a rule, cut-out for
spiritual or literary leadership, but remained confined to a more modest role
in shaping literary values. Her talents
might well extend to the romance, the adventure story, maybe even the
thriller. But it seemed rather doubtful
that they would also extend in the direction of philosophy, whether religious,
political, aesthetic, moral, or whatever, and thereby make her something of an
intellectual pace-setter, a future Simone de Beauvoir
or Iris Murdoch, Germaine Greer or Agnes Heller. If her poems were anything to judge by, she
would have to resign herself to a kind of fictional mediocrity.
But what of the young
woman personally? Where, if one
endeavoured to forget all the paradoxically laudable attempts women were making
to liberate themselves these days, did she stand as a woman? Was she, for instance, a virgin? To be sure, this question had occurred to
Andrew while they were out walking together, earlier on, and now that he sat
beside her and, compliments of her poetic preoccupations, was able to regard
her at leisure, the question returned to him, albeit in a slightly different
light. Supposing she was - wouldn't it
be justice, for all the tedium and humiliation he had suffered at her hands, to
take her virginity from her, and thus recompense himself
in some measure? After all, she was a
very attractive young person, particularly when dressed, as tonight, in a
low-cut nylon blouse, a gently flounced miniskirt, dark nylon stockings with a
seam up the back, and black velvet high-heels.
Even the scent of her perfume was not without its attractiveness or, at
any rate, seductive allure. On the
contrary, it highlighted the overall attractiveness of her body, endowing it
with a focus and clarity it might otherwise have lacked. There was nothing repulsive about this sweet
scent. It was specifically intended to
attract, to seduce, to conquer. There
could be no question of a woman using such a delightful perfume if she didn't
want to make a favourable impression on one, or had an unduly feminist outlook
on men which induced her to keep them at arm's length, come what may. Obviously, Pauline had gone to some pains,
this evening, to make herself as attractive as
possible, not least of all where the provocative spectacle of her low-cut
blouse and intriguingly shaped breasts were concerned. Finally, to cap it all, she had thrown in a
little culture to boot, which the author should find to his taste.
Well, that hadn't been quite the case,
though he had at least found her appearance to his taste, which was
something! Should he therefore make
haste to reveal this fact, and so gratify in her a number of the romantic
sentiments touchingly expressed in her rather juvenile poems? He had always wanted the privilege of taking
someone's virginity - a privilege, curiously, which fate had denied him. Here, if anywhere, was the best chance of
fulfilling a long-standing ambition and gaining fresh experience in life. It was an opportunity not to be missed!
But what of her parents? What of her brother and the others in the
house? Wasn't it a shade risky,
committing oneself to the pleasures of the sexual senses when other people were
in such close proximity and might - heaven forbid! - overhear and burst-in upon
one at any moment? Yes, definitely! But so what?
Was he to be dictated to by them, particularly by Henry Grace, whom he
personally disliked and professionally despised? No, not if he could help it! After all, making love to Pauline would be as
good a way as any of getting his own back on Mr Grace for the pathetically
negative response the critic had made to his religious theorizing prior to
tea. Not only would he be avenging
himself on Pauline but, more importantly, on her damn father as well, since the
latter would hardly be in favour of Andrew Doyle, of all people, taking his
daughter's virginity - assuming she really was a virgin. No, anyone but him!
Indeed, this thought seemed so amusing to
Andrew that he was unable to prevent a tiny snigger escaping from between his
lips, a snigger which slightly surprised and embarrassed Pauline, who hadn't
been declaiming anything overtly humorous at the time. Yet, much to his relief, she didn't respond
to it in an inquisitive manner, but continued with her poetic recitation as
though nothing had happened. However,
the fact of her poetry was no less wearisome for all that, and his desire to
avenge himself on her no less compelling.
If he was to do something he had better do it soon, and so get it over
and done with before the opportunity was gone!
Otherwise she might continue reciting her insipid and slightly
ridiculous little poems for hours, aggravating his weariness until it was past
tolerating and he felt obliged to take swift leave of her.
No, he didn't want that to happen! Better to take the poems from her hands, draw
oneself closer to her, plant a preliminary kiss on her astonished lips, put
one's arms around her slender waist, probe her lengthily in the mouth with an
adventurous tongue, run a tender hand up and down her thighs a few times,
unbutton her blouse, thumb her nipples, part her legs, cup her crotch, and take
it from there. Yes, there could be no
alternative to that, absolutely none!