CYCLE FOUR

1. Theory of smoking loosely based on the elements, viz. the noumenal objectivity of pipe smoking as that mode of smoking which most correlates with fire; the phenomenal objectivity of roll-up smoking as that mode of smoking which most correlates with water; the phenomenal subjectivity of cigarette smoking as that mode of smoking which most correlates with vegetation; the noumenal subjectivity of cigar smoking as that mode of smoking which most correlates with air.

2. Hence a distinction between a female approach to smoking, in which a certain objective looseness is demonstrable, and a male approach to smoking in which, by contrast, subjective binding is chiefly characteristic. Pipes and roll-ups vis-à-vis cigarettes and cigars.

3. It may also be possible to distinguish, comparatively speaking, between sensuality and sensibility in every elemental context, with, say, straight pipes and drop-bowl pipes characterizing what may be called the metachemical approach to smoking; plain roll-ups and 'joints' typifying the chemical approach to smoking; untipped cigarettes and filter cigarettes characterizing the physical approach to smoking; squat cigars and thin cigars typifying the metaphysical approach to smoking, and other such variations on a common theme.

4. One would, as a smoker, be saved from sensuality to sensibility in the case of cigarettes and cigars, but damned from sensuality to sensibility in the case of pipes and roll-ups, since the male side of life tends to exemplify a sensible salvation (from the curse of subjective sensuality), while the female side of life tends to confirm a sensible damnation (from the blessing of objective sensuality), the male side rising diagonally through two contiguous planes and the female side falling diagonally through two such planes, albeit the planes in question be objective rather than subjective.

5. All this is of course relative to the context of smoking, which, no matter how sensible, or what the approximate elemental correlation, remains fundamentally metachemical and, hence, fiery, not truly watery, vegetative, or airy.

6. Making such comparative distinctions, it would be feasible - if not particularly tasteful - to distinguish pipe-smoking 'jerks' from roll-up-smoking 'cunts' on the female, or objective, side of the smoking divide, and to further distinguish these looser individuals from their male-oriented counterparts, whose subjective binding induces one to rather slangfully differentiate between cigarette-smoking 'pricks' and cigar-smoking 'bums'.

7. Hence an overall distinction between pipe-smoking 'jerks'/roll-up-smoking 'cunts' and cigarette-smoking 'pricks'/cigar-smoking 'bums', as between noumenal and phenomenal objectivity/phenomenal and noumenal subjectivity.

8. An approximate sartorial parallel to the above would be dresses and skirts vis-à-vis trousers and zippersuits, the objective looseness of the female attire contrasting with the subjective binding of the male attire.