Aldous Huxley's
ISLAND
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CHAPTER ONE
"Attention,"
a voice began to call, and it was as though an oboe had suddenly become
articulate. "Attention," it
repeated in the same high, nasal monotone.
"Attention."
Lying there like a corpse in the dead
leaves, his hair matted, his face grotesquely smudged and bruised,
his clothes in rags and muddy, Will Farnaby awoke with a start. Molly had called him. Time to get up. Time to get dressed. Mustn't be late at the office.
"Thank you, darling," he said
and sat up. A sharp pain stabbed at his
right knee and there were other kinds of pain in his back, his arms, his forehead.
"Attention," the voice insisted
without the slighted change of tone.
Leaning on one elbow, Will looked about him and saw with bewilderment,
not the grey wallpaper and yellow curtains of his
"Attention?"
Why did she say, "Attention?"
"Attention. Attention," the voice insisted - how
strangely, how senselessly!
"Molly?" he questioned. "Molly?"
The name seemed to open a window inside
his head. Suddenly, with that horribly
familiar sense of guilt at the pit of his stomach, he smelt formaldehyde, he
saw the small brisk nurse hurrying ahead of him along the green corridor, heard
the dry creaking of her starched clothes.
"Number fifty-five," she was saying, and then halted, opened a
white door. He entered and there, on a
high white bed, was Molly. Molly with
bandages covering half her face and the mouth hanging cavernously open. "Molly," he had called, "Molly
...” His voice had broken and he was crying, was imploring now, "My
darling!" There was no answer. Through the gaping mouth the quick shallow
breaths came noisily, again, again.
"My darling, my darling ...” And then suddenly the hand he was
holding came to life for a moment. Then
was still again.
"It's me," he said, "it's
Will."
Once more the fingers stirred. Slowly, with what was evidently an enormous
effort, they closed themselves over his own, pressed them for a moment and then
relaxed again into lifelessness.
"Attention," called the inhuman
voice. "Attention."
It had been an accident, he hastened to
assure himself. The road was wet, the
car had skidded across the white line.
It was one of those things that happen all the time. The papers are full of them; he had reported
them by the dozen. "Mother and
three children killed in head-on crash ...” But that was beside the point. The point was that, when she asked him if it
was really the end, he had said yes; the point was that less than an hour after
she had walked out from the last shameful interview into the rain, Molly was in
the ambulance, dying.
He hadn't looked at her as she turned to
go, hadn't dared to look at her. Another
glimpse of that pale suffering face might have been too much for him. She had risen from her chair and was moving
slowly across the room, moving slowly out of his life. Shouldn't he call her back, ask her
forgiveness, tell her that he still loved her?
Had he ever loved her?
For the hundredth time the articulate
oboe called him to attention.
Yes, had he ever really loved her?
"Good-bye, Will," came her remembered
whisper as she turned back on the threshold.
And then it was she who had said it - in a whisper, from the
depths of her heart. "I still love
you, Will - in spite of everything."
A moment later the door of the flat
closed behind her almost without a sound.
The little dry click of the latch, and she was gone.
He had jumped up, had run to the front
door and opened it, had listened to the retreating footsteps on the
stairs. Like a ghost at cock-crow, a
faint familiar perfume lingered vanishingly on the air. He closed the door again, walked into his
grey and yellow bedroom and looked out of the window. A few seconds passed, then he saw her
crossing the pavement and getting into the car.
He heard the shrill grinding of the starter, once, twice, and after that
the drumming of the motor. Should he
open the window? "Wait, Molly,
wait," he heard himself shouting in imagination. The window remained unopened; the car began
to move, turned the corner and the street was empty. It was too late. Too late, thank God! said a gross derisive
voice. Yes, thank God! And yet the guilt was there at the pit of his
stomach. The guilt, the gnawing of his
remorse - but through the remorse he could feel a horrible rejoicing. Somebody low and lewd and brutal, somebody
alien and odious who was yet himself was gleefully thinking that now there was
nothing to prevent him from having what he wanted. And what he wanted was a different perfume,
was the warmth and resilience of a younger body. "Attention," said the oboe. Yes, attention. Attention to Bab's musky bedroom, with its
strawberry-pink alcove and the two windows that looked on to the Charing Cross
Road and were looked into, all night long, by the winking glare of the big sky
sign for Porter's Gin on the opposite side of the street. Gin in royal crimson - and for ten seconds
the alcove was the Sacred Heart, for ten miraculous seconds the flushed face so
close to his own glowed like a seraph's, transfigured as though by an inner
fire of love. Then came the yet
profounder transfiguration of darkness.
One, two, three, four ... Ah God, make it go on for ever! But punctually at the count of ten the
electric clock would turn on another revelation - but of death, of the
Essential Horror; for the lights, this time, were green, and for ten hideous
seconds Bab's rosy alcove became a womb of mud and, on the bed, Babs herself
was corpse-coloured, a cadaver galvanized into posthumous epilepsy. When Porter's Gin proclaimed itself in green,
it was hard to forget what had happened and who one was. The only thing to do was to shut one's eyes
and plunge, if one could, more deeply into the Other World of sensuality,
plunge violently, plunge deliberately into those alienating frenzies to which
poor Molly - Molly ("Attention") in her bandages, Molly in her wet
grave at Highgate, and Highgate, of course, was why one had to shut one's eyes
each time that the green light made a corpse of Bab's nakedness - had always
and so utterly been a stranger. And not
only Molly. Behind his closed eyelids,
Will saw his mother pale like a cameo, her face spiritualized by accepted
suffering, her hands made monstrous and sub-human by arthritis. His mother and, standing behind her
wheelchair, already running to fat and quivering like calves'-foot jelly with
all the feelings that had never found their proper expression in consummated
love, was his sister Maud.
"How can you, Will?"
"Yes, how can you?" Maud echoed
tearfully in her vibrating contralto.
There was no answer. No answer, that was to say, in any words that
could be uttered in their presence, that, uttered, those two martyrs - the
mother and her unhappy marriage, the daughter to filial piety - could possibly
understand. No answer except in words of
the most obscenely scientific objectivity, the most inadmissible
frankness. How could he do it? He could do it, for all practical purposes
was compelled to do it, because ... well, because Babs had certain physical
peculiarities which Molly did not possess and behaved at certain moments in ways
which Molly would have found unthinkable.
There had been a long silence; but now,
abruptly, the strange voice took up its old refrain.
"Attention. Attention."
Attention to Molly, attention to Maud and
his mother, attention to Babs. And
suddenly another memory emerged from the fog of vagueness and confusion. Bab's strawberry-pink alcove sheltered
another guest, and its owner's body was shuddering ecstatically under somebody
else's caresses. To the guilt in the stomach was added an anguish about the
heart, a constriction of the throat.
"Attention."
The voice had come nearer, was calling
from somewhere over there to the right.
He turned his head, he tried to raise himself for a better view; but the
arm that supported his weight began to tremble, then gave way, and he fell back
into the leaves. Too tired to go on
remembering, he lay there for a long time staring up around him. Where was he and how on earth had he got here? Not that this was of any importance. At the moment nothing was of any importance
except this pain, this annihilating weakness.
All the same, just as a matter of scientific interest ...
This tree, for example, under which (for
no known reason) he found himself lying, this column of grey bark with the
groining, high up, of sun-speckled branches, this ought by rights to be a beech
tree. But in that case - and Will
admired himself for being so lucidly logical - in that case the leaves had no
right to be so obviously evergreen. And
why would a beech tree send its roots elbowing up like this above the surface
of the ground? And those preposterous
wooden buttresses, on which the pseudo-beech supported itself - where did those
fit into the picture? Will remembered
suddenly his favourite worst line of poetry.
"Who prop, thou ask'st, in these bad days my mind?" Answer: congealed ectoplasm. Early Dali.
Which definitely ruled out the Chilterns. So did the butterflies swooping out there in
the thick buttery sunshine. Why were
they so large, so improbably cerulean or velvet-black, so extravagantly eyed
and freckled? Purple staring out of
chestnut, silver powdered over emerald, over topaz, over sapphire.
"Attention."
"Who's there?" Will Farnaby
called in what he intended to be a loud and formidable tone; but all that came
out of his mouth was a thin, quivering croak.
There was a long and, it seemed,
profoundly menacing silence. From the
hollow between two of the tree's wooden buttresses an enormous black centipede
emerged for a moment into view, then hurried away on its regiment of crimson
legs and vanished into another cleft in the lichen-covered ectoplasm.
"Who's there?" he croaked
again.
There was a rustling in the bushes on his
left and suddenly, like a cuckoo from a nursery clock, out popped a large black
bird, the size of a jackdaw - only, needless to say, it wasn't a jackdaw. It clapped a pair of white-tipped wings and,
darting across the intervening space, settled on the lowest branch of a small
dead tree, not twenty feet from where Will was lying. Its beak, he noticed, was orange, and it had
a bald yellow patch under each eye, with canary-coloured wattles that covered
the sides and back of its head with a thick wig of naked flesh. The bird cocked its head and looked at him
first with the right eye, then with the left.
After which it opened its orange bill, whistled ten or twelve notes of a
little air in the pentatonic scale, made a noise like somebody having hiccups,
and then, in a chanting phrase, do do sol do, said, "Here and now,
boys; here and now, boys."
The words pressed a trigger, and all of a
sudden he remembered everything. Here
was Pala, the forbidden island, the place no journalist had ever visited. And now must be the morning after the
afternoon when he'd been fool enough to go sailing, alone, outside the harbour
of Rendang-Lobo. He remembered it all -
the white sail curved by the wind into the likeness of a huge magnolia petal,
the water sizzling at the prow, the sparkled of diamonds on every wave crest,
the troughs of wrinkled jade. And
eastwards, across the Strait, what clouds, what prodigies of sculptured
whiteness above the volcanoes of Pala!
Sitting there at the tiller, he had caught himself singing - caught
himself, incredibly, in the act of feeling unequivocally happy.
"'Three, three for the rivals,'"
he had declaimed into the wind.
"'Two, two for the lily-white boys,
clothed all in green-oh; One is one and all alone ...'"
Yes, all alone. And all alone on the enormous jewel of the
sea.
"'And ever more shall be so.'"
After which, needless to say, the thing
that all the cautious and experienced yachtsmen had warned him against
happened. The black squall out of
nowhere, the sudden, senseless frenzy of wing and rain and waves ...
"Here and now, boys," chanted
the bird. "Here and now,
boys."
The really extraordinary thing was that
he should be here, he reflected, under the trees and not out there, at the
bottom of the Pala Strait or, worse, smashed to pieces at the foot of the
cliffs. For even after he had managed,
by sheer miracle, to take his sinking boat through the breakers and run her
aground on the only sandy beech in all those miles of Pala's rock-bound coast - even then it wasn't over. The cliffs towered above him; but at the head
of the cove there was a kind of headlong ravine where a little stream came down
in a succession of filmy waterfalls, and there were trees and bushes growing
between the walls of grey limestone. Six
or seven hundred feet of rock climbing - in tennis shoes, and all the footholds
slippery with water. And then, dear God!
those snakes. The black one looped over
the branch by which he was pulling himself up.
And five minutes later, the huge green one coiled there on the ledge,
just where he was preparing to step.
Terror had been succeeded by a terror infinitely worse. The sight of the snake had made him start,
made him violently withdraw his foot, and that sudden unconsidered movement had
made him lose his balance. For a long
sickening second, in the dreadful knowledge that this was the end, he had
swayed on the brink, then fallen. Death,
death, death. And then, with the noise
of splintering wood in his ears and he found himself clinging to the branches
of a small tree, his face scratched, his right knee bruised and bleeding, but
alive. Painfully he had resumed his
climbing. His knee hurt him
excruciatingly; but he climbed on. There
was no alternative. And then the light had begun to fail. In the end he was climbing almost in
darkness, climbing by faith, climbing by sheer despair.
"Here and now, boys," shouted
the bird.
But Will Farnaby was neither here nor
now. He was there on the rock face, he
was then at the dreadful moment of falling.
The dry leaves rustled beneath him; he was trembling. Violently, uncontrollably, he was trembling
from head to foot.
CHAPTER TWO
Suddenly
the bird ceased to be articulate and started to scream. A small shrill human voice said,
"Mynah!" and then added something in a language that will did not
understand. There was a sound of
footsteps on dry leaves. Then a little cry
of alarm. Then silence. Will opened his eyes and saw two exquisite
children looking down at him, their eyes wide with astonishment and a
fascinated horror. The smaller of them
was a tiny boy of five, perhaps, or six, dressed only in a green loin cloth. Beside him, carrying a basket of fruit on her
head, stood a little girl some four or five years older. She wore a full crimson skirt that reached
almost to her ankles; but above the waist she was naked. In the sunlight her skin glowed like pale
copper flushed with rose. Will looked
from one child to the other. How
beautiful they were, and how faultless, how extraordinarily elegant! Like two little thoroughbreds. A round and sturdy thoroughbred, with a face
like a cherub's - that was the boy. And
the girl was another kind of thoroughbred, fine-drawn, with a rather long,
grave little face framed between braids of dark hair.
There was another burst of
screaming. On its perch in the dead tree
the bird was turning nervously this way and that, then, with a final screech,
it dived into the air. Without taking
her eyes from Will's face, the girl held out her hand invitingly. The bird fluttered, settled, flapped wildly,
found its balance, then folded its wings and immediately started to
hiccup. Will looked on without
surprise. Anything was possible now -
anything. Even talking birds that would
perch on a child's finger. Will tried to
smile at them; but his lips were still trembling, and what was meant to be a
sign of friendliness must have seemed like a frightening grimace. The little boy took cover behind his sister.
The bird stopped hiccupping and began to
repeat a word that Will did not understand.
"Runa" - was that it?
No, "Karuna".
Definitely "Karuna".
He raised a trembling hand and pointed at
the fruit in the round basket. Mangoes,
bananas ... His dry mouth was watering.
"Hungry," he said. Then, feeling that in these exotic
circumstances the child might understand him better if he put on an imitation
of a musical-comedy Chinaman, "Me velly hungly," he elaborated.
"Do you want to eat?" the child
asked in perfect English.
"Yes - eat," he repeated,
"eat."
"Fly away, mynah!" She shook her hand. The bird uttered a protesting squawk and
returned to its perch on the dead tree.
Lifting her thin little arms in a gesture that was like a dancer's, the
child raised the basket from her head, then lowered it to the ground. She selected a banana, peeled it and, torn
between fear and compassion, advanced towards the stranger. In his incomprehensible language the little
boy uttered a cry of warning and clutched at her skirt. With a reassuring word, the girl halted, well
out of danger, and held up the fruit.
"Do you want it?" she asked.
Still trembling, Will Farnaby stretched
out his hand. Very cautiously, she edged
forward, then halted again and, crouching down, peered at him intently.
"Quick," he said in an agony of
impatience.
But the little girl was taking no
chances. Eyeing his hand for the least
sign of a suspicious movement, she leaned forward, she cautiously extended her
arm.
"For God's sake," he implored.
"God?" the child repeated with
sudden interest. "Which God?"
she asked. "There are such a lot of
them."
"Any damned God you like," he
answered impatiently.
"I don't really like any of
them," she answered. "I like
the Compassionate One."
"Then be compassionate to me,"
he begged. "Give me that
banana."
Her expression changed. "I'm sorry," she said
apologetically. Rising to her full
height, she took a quick step forward and dropped the fruit into his shaking
hand.
"There," she said and, like a
little animal avoiding a trap, she jumped back, out of reach.
The small boy clapped his hands and
laughed aloud. She turned and said something
to him in their incomprehensible language.
He nodded his round head, and saying "Okay, boss," trotted
away, through a barrage of blue and sulphur butterflies, into the forest
shadows on the further side of the glade.
"I told Tom Krishna to go and fetch
someone," she explained.
Will finished his banana and asked for
another, and then for a third. As the
urgency of his hunger diminished, he felt a need to satisfy his curiosity.
"How is it that you speak such good
English?" he asked.
"Because everybody speaks
English," the child answered.
"Everybody?"
"I mean, when they're not speaking
Palanese." Finding the subject
uninteresting, she turned, waved a small brown hand and whistled.
"Here and now, boys," the bird
repeated yet once more, then fluttered down from its perch on the dead tree and
settled on her shoulder. The child
peeled another banana, gave two-thirds of it to Will and offered what remained
to the mynah.
"Is that your bird?" Will
asked.
She shook her head.
"Mynahs are like the electric
light," she said. "They don't
belong to anybody."
"Why does he say those things?"
"Because somebody taught him,"
she answered patiently. What an ass! her
tone seemed to imply.
"But why did they teach him those
things?" Why 'Attention'? Why 'Here and now'?"
"Well ..." She searched for the right words in which to
explain the self-evident to this strange imbecile. "That's what you always forget, isn't
it? I mean, you forget to pay attention
to what's happening. And that's the same
as not being here and now."
"And the mynahs fly about reminding
you - is that it?"
She nodded. That, of course, was it. There was a silence.
"What's your name?" she
inquired.
Will introduced himself.
"My name's Mary Sarojini
MacPhail."
"MacPhail?" It was too implausible.
"MacPhail," she assured him.
And your little brother is called Tom
Krishna?" She nodded. "Well, I'm damned!"
"Did you come to Pala by the
aeroplane?"
"I came out of the sea."
"Out of the sea? Do you have a boat?"
"I did have one." With his mind's eye Will saw the waves
breaking over the stranded hulk, heard with his inner ear the crash of their
impact. Under her questioning he told
her what had happened. The storm, the
beaching of the boat, the long nightmare of the climb, the snakes, the horror
of falling ... He began to tremble again, more violently than ever.
Mary Sarojini listened attentively and
without comment. Then as his voice
faltered and finally broke, she stepped forward and, the bird still perched on her
shoulder, kneeled down beside him.
"Listen, Will," she said,
laying a hand on his forehead.
"We've got to get rid of this." Her tone was professional and calmly
authoritative.
"I wish I knew how," he said
between chattering teeth.
"How?" she repeated. "But in the usual way, of course. Tell me again about those snakes and how you
fell down."
He shook his head. "I don't want to."
"Of course you don't want to,"
she said. "But you've got to. Listen to what the mynah's saying."
"Here and now, boys," the bird
was still exhorting. "Here and now,
boys."
"You can't be here and now,"
she went on, "until you've got rid of those snakes. Tell me."
"I don't want to, I don't want
to." He was almost in tears.
"Then you'll never get rid of
them. They'll be crawling about inside
your head for ever. And serve you
right," Mary Sarojini added severely.
He tried to control the trembling; but
his body had ceased to belong to him.
Someone else was in charge, someone malevolently determined to humiliate
him, to make him suffer.
"Remember what happened when you
were a little boy," Mary Sarojini was saying. "What did your mother do when you hurt
yourself."
She had taken him in her arms, had said,
"My poor baby, my poor little baby."
"She did that?" The child spoke in a tone of shocked
amazement. "But that's awful! That's the way to rub it in. 'My poor baby,'" she repeated derisively,
"it must have gone on hurting for hours.
And you'd never forget it."
Will Farnaby made no comment, but lay
there in silence, shaken by irrepressible shudderings.
"Well, if you won't do it yourself,
I'll have to do it for you. Listen,
Will: there was a snake, a big green snake, and you almost stepped on him. You almost stepped on him, and gave it such a
fright that you lost your balance, you fell.
Now saw it yourself - say it!"
"I almost stepped on him," he
whispered obediently. "And then I
...” He couldn't say it. "Then I
fell," he brought out at last, almost inaudibly.
All the horror of it came back to him -
the nausea of fear, the panic start that had made him lose his balance, and
then worse fear and the ghastly certainty that it was the end.
"Say it again."
"I almost stepped on him. And then ..."
He heard himself whimpering.
"That's right, Will. Cry - cry!"
The whimpering became a moaning. Ashamed, he clenched his teeth, and the
moaning stopped.
"No, don't do that," she
cried. "Let it come out if it wants
to. Remember that snake, Will. Remember how you fell."
The moaning broke out again and he began
to shudder more violently than ever.
"Now tell me what happened."
"I could see its eyes, I could see
its tongue going in and out."
"Yes, you could see his tongue. And what happened then?"
"I lost my balance, I fell."
"Say it again, Will." He was sobbing now. "Say it again," she insisted.
"I fell."
"Again."
It was tearing him to pieces, but he said
it. "I fell."
"Again, Will." She was implacable. "Again."
"I fell, I fell. I fell ..."
Gradually the sobbing died down. The words came more easily and the memories
they aroused were less painful.
"I fell," he repeated for the
hundredth time.
"But you didn't fall very far,"
Mary Sarojini now said.
"No, I didn't fall very far,"
he agreed.
"So what's all the fuss about?"
the child inquired.
There was no malice or irony in her tone,
not the slightest implication of blame.
She was just asking a simple, straightforward question that called for a
simple, straightforward answer. Yes,
what was all the fuss about? The
snake hadn't bitten him: he hadn't broken his neck. And anyhow it had all happened
yesterday. Today there were these
butterflies, this bird that called one to attention, this strange child who
talked to one like a Dutch uncle, looked like an angel out of some unfamiliar
mythology and within five degrees of the equator was called, believe it or not,
MacPhail. Will Farnaby laughed aloud.
The little girl clapped her hands and
laughed too. A moment later the bird on
her shoulder joined in with peal upon peal of loud demonic laughter that filled
the glade and echoed among the trees, so that the whole universe seemed to be
fairly splitting its sides over the enormous joke of existence.
CHAPTER THREE
"Well,
I'm glad it's all so amusing," a deep voice suddenly commented.
Will Farnaby turned and saw, smiling down
at him, a small spare man dressed in European clothes and carrying a black
bag. A man, he judged, in his late
fifties. Under the wide straw hat the
hair was thick and white, and what a strange beaky nose! And the eyes - how incongruously blue in the
dark face!
"Grandfather!" he heard Mary
Sarojini exclaiming.
The stranger turned from Will to the
child.
"What was so funny?" he asked.
"Well," Mary Sarojini began,
and paused for a moment to marshal her thoughts. "Well, you see, he was in a boat and
there was that storm yesterday and he got wrecked - somewhere down there. So he had to climb up the cliff. And there were some snakes, and he fell
down. But luckily there was a tree, so
he only had a fright. Which was why he
was shivering so hard, so I gave him some bananas and I made him go through it
a million times. And then all of a
sudden he saw that it wasn't anything to worry about. I mean, it's all over and done with. And that made him laugh. And when he laughed, I laughed. And then the mynah bird laughed."
"Very good," said her
grandfather approvingly. "And
now," he added, turning back to Will Farnaby, "after the
psychological first aid, let's see what can be done for poor old Brother Ass. I'm Dr Robert MacPhail, by the way. Who are you?"
"His name's Will," said Mary
Sarojini before the young man could answer.
And his other name is Far-something."
"Farnaby, to be precise. William Asquith Farnaby. My father, as you might guess, was an ardent
Liberal. Even when he was drunk. Especially when he was drunk." He gave vent to a harsh derisive laugh
strangely unlike the full-throated merriment which had greeted his discovery
that there was really nothing to make a fuss about.
"Didn't you like your father?"
Mary Sarojini asked with concern.
"Not as much as I might have,"
Will answered.
"What he means," Dr MacPhail
explained to the child, "is that he hated his father. A lot of them do," he added
parenthetically.
Squatting down on his haunches, he began
to undo the straps of his black bag.
"One of our ex-imperialists, I
assume," he said over his shoulder to the young man.
"Born in Bloomsbury," Will
confirmed.
"Upper class," the doctor
diagnosed, "but not a member of the military or county sub-species."
"Correct. My father was a barrister and political
journalist. That is, when he wasn't too
busy being an alcoholic. My mother,
incredible as it may seem, was the daughter of an archdeacon. An archdeacon," he repeated, and
laughed again as he had laughed over his father's taste for brandy.
Dr MacPhail looked at him for a moment,
then turned his attention once more to the straps.
"When you laugh like that," he
remarked in a tone of scientific detachment, "your face becomes curiously
ugly."
Taken aback, Will tried to cover his
embarrassment with a piece of facetiousness.
"It's always ugly," he said.
"On the contrary, in a Baudelairian
sort of way it's rather beautiful.
Except when you choose to make noises like a hyena. Why do you make those noises?"
"I'm a journalist," Will
explained. "Our Special
Correspondent, paid to travel about the world and report on the current
horrors. What other kind of noise do you
expect me to make? Coo-coo? Blah-blah?
Marx-Marx?" He laughed
again, then brought out one of his well-tried witticisms. "I'm the man who won't take yes for an
answer."
"Pretty," said Dr
MacPhail. "Very pretty. But now let's get down to
business." Taking a pair of
scissors out of his bag, he started to cut away the torn and bloodstained
trouser leg that covered Will's injured knee.
Will Farnaby looked up and him and
wondered, as he looked, how much of this improbable Highlander was still
Scottish and how much Palanese. About
the blue eyes and the jutting nose there could be no doubt. But the brown skin, the delicate hands, the
grace of movement - these surely came from somewhere considerably south of the
Tweed.
"Were you born here?" he asked.
The doctor nodded affirmatively. "At Shivapuram, on the day of Queen
Victoria's funeral."
There was a final click of the scissors,
and the trouser leg fell away, exposing the knee. "Messy," was Dr MacPhail's verdict
after a first intent scrutiny. "But
I don't think there's anything too serious." He turned to his granddaughter, "I'd
like you to run back to the station and ask Vijaya to come here with one of the
other men. Tell them to pick up a
stretcher at the infirmary."
Mary Sarojini nodded and, without a word,
rose to her feet, and hurried away across the glade.
Will looked after the small figure as it
receded - the red skirt swinging from side to side, the smooth skin of the
torso glowing rosily golden in the twilight."
"You have a very remarkable
granddaughter," he said to Dr MacPhail.
"Mary Sarojini's father," said
the doctor after a little silence, "was my eldest son. He died four months ago - a mountain-climbing
accident."
Will mumbled his sympathy, and there was
another silence.
Dr MacPhail uncorked a bottle of alcohol
and swabbed his hands.
"This is going to hurt a bit," he
warned. "I'd suggest that you
listen to that bird." He waved a
hand in the direction of the dead tree, to which, after Mary Sarojini's
departure, the mynah had returned.
"Listen to him closely, listen
discriminatingly. It'll keep your mind
off the discomfort."
Will Farnaby listened. The mynah had gone back to its first theme.
"Attention," the articulate
oboe was calling. "Attention."
"Attention to what?" he asked,
in the hope of eliciting a more enlightening answer than the one he had
received from Mary Sarojini.
"To attention," said Dr
MacPhail.
"Attention to attention?"
"Of course."
"Attention," the mynah chanted
in ironical confirmation.
"Do you have many of these talking
birds?"
"There must be at least a thousand
of them flying about the island. It was
an old Raja's idea. He thought it would
do people good. Maybe it does, though it
seems rather unfair to the poor mynahs.
Fortunately, however, birds don't understand pep talks. Not even St Francis's. Just imagine," he went on, "preaching
sermons to perfectly good thrushes and goldfinches and chiff-chaffs! What presumption! Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut and
let the birds preach to him? And
now," he added in another tone, "you'd better start listening to our
friend in the tree. I'm going to clean
this thing up."
"Attention."
"Here goes."
The young man winced and bit his lip.
"Attention. Attention.
Attention."
Yes, it was quite true. If you listened intently enough, the pain
wasn't so bad.
"Attention. Attention ..."
"How you ever contrived to get up
that cliff," said Dr MacPhail, as he reached for the bandage, "I
cannot conceive."
Will managed to laugh. "Remember the beginning of Erewhon,"
he said. "'As luck would have it,
Providence was on my side.'"
From the further side of the glade came
the sound of voices. Will turned his
head and saw Mary Sarojini emerging from between the trees, her red skirt
swinging as she skipped along. Behind
her, naked to the waist and carrying over his shoulder the bamboo poles and
rolled-up canvas of a light stretcher, walked a huge bronze statue of a man,
and behind the giant came a slender, dark-skinned adolescent in white shorts.
"This is Vijaya Bhattacharya,"
said Dr MacPhail as the bronze statue approached. "Vijaya is my assistant."
"In the hospital."
Dr MacPhail shook his head. "Except in emergencies," he said,
"I don't practise any more. Vijaya
and I work together at the Agricultural Experimental Station. And Murugan Mailendra" (he waved his
hand in the direction of the dark-skinned boy) "is with us temporarily,
studying soil science and plant breeding."
Vijaya stepped aside and, laying a large
hand on his companion's shoulder, pushed him forward. Looking up into that beautiful, sulky young
face, Will suddenly recognized, with a start of surprise, the elegantly
tailored youth he had met, five days before, at Rendang-Lobo, had driven with
in Colonel Dipa's white Mercedes all over the island. He smiled, he opened his mouth to speak, then
checked himself. Almost imperceptibly
but quite unmistakably, the boy had shaken his head. In his eyes Will saw an expression of
anguished pleading. His lips moved
soundlessly. "Please," he seemed to be saying, "please ...” Will
readjusted his face.
"How do you do, Mr Mailendra,"
he said in a tone of casual formality.
Murugan looked enormously relieved. "How do you do," he said, and made
a little bow.
Will looked round to see if the others
had noticed what had happened. Mary Sarojini and Vijaya, he saw, were busy with
the stretcher, and the doctor was repacking his black bag. The little comedy had been played without an
audience. Young Murugan evidently had
his reasons for not wanting it to be known that he had been in Rendang. Boys will be boys. Boys will even be girls. Colonel Dipa had been more than fatherly
towards his young protégé, and towards the Colonel, Murugan had been a good
deal more than filial - he had been positively adoring. Was it merely hero-worship, merely a
schoolboy's admiration for the strong man who had carried out a successful
revolution, liquidated the opposition and installed himself as dictator? Or were other feelings involved? Was Murugan playing Antinous to his
black-moustached Hadrian? Well, if that
was how he felt about middle-aged military gangsters, that was his
privilege. And if the gangster liked
pretty boys, that was his. And
perhaps, Will went on to reflect, that was why Colonel Dipa had refrained from
making a formal introduction. "This
is Muru," was all he had said, when the boy was ushered into the
presidential office. "My young
friend, Muru," and he had risen, had put his arm around the boy's
shoulders, had led him to the sofa and sat down beside him. "May I drive the Mercedes?" Murugan
had asked. The dictator had smiled
indulgently and nodded his sleek black head.
And that was another reason for thinking that more than mere
friendliness was involved in that curious relationship. At the wheel of the Colonel's sports car
Murugan was a maniac. Only an infatuated
lover would have entrusted himself, not to mention his guest, to such a
chauffeur. On the flat between
Rendang-Lobo and the oil fields the speedometer had twice touched a hundred and
ten; and worse, much worse, was to follow on the mountain road from the oil fields
to the copper mines. Chasms yawned,
tyres screeched round corners, water buffaloes emerged from bamboo thickets a
few feet ahead of the car, ten-ton lorries came roaring down on the wrong side
of the road. "Aren't you a little
nervous?" Will had ventured to ask.
But the gangster was pious as well as infatuated. "If one knows that one is doing the will
of Allah - and I do know it, Mr Farnaby - there is no excuse for
nervousness. In those circumstances,
nervousness would be a blasphemy."
And as Murugan swerved to avoid yet another buffalo, he opened his gold
cigarette case and offered Will a Balkan Sobranje.
"Ready," Vijaya called.
Will turned his head and saw the
stretcher lying on the ground beside him.
"Good!" said Dr MacPhail. "Let's lift him on to it. Carefully.
Carefully ..."
A minute later the little procession was
winding its way up the narrow path between the trees. Mary Sarojini was in the van, her grandfather
brought up the rear, and between them came Murugan and Vijaya at either end of
the stretcher.
From his moving bed Will Farnaby looked
up through the green darkness as though from the floor of a living sea. Far overhead, near the surface, there was a
rustling among the leaves, a noise of monkeys.
A now it was a dozen hornbills hopping, like the figments of a
disordered imagination, through a cloud of orchids.
"Are you comfortable?" Vijaya
asked, bending solicitously to look into his face.
Will smiled back at him.
"Luxuriously comfortable," he
said.
"It isn't far," the other went
on reassuringly. "We'll be there in
a few minutes."
"Where 'there'?"
"The Experimental Station. It's like Rothamsted. Did you ever go to Rothamsted when you were
in England?"
Will had heard of it, of course, but
never seen the place.
"It's been going for more than a
hundred years," Vijaya went on.
"A hundred and eighteen, to be
precise," said Dr MacPhail. "Lawes and Gilbert started their work on
fertilizers in 1843. One of their pupils
came out here in the early fifties to help our grandfather get our Station
going. Rothampsted-in-the-Tropics - that
was the idea. In the tropics and for
the tropics."
There was a lightening of the green gloom
and a moment later the litter emerged from the forest into the full glare of
tropical sunshine. Will raised his head
and looked about him. They were not far
from the floor of an immense amphitheatre.
Five hundred feet below stretched a wide plain, chequered with fields,
dotted with clumps of trees and clustered houses. In the other direction the slopes climbed up
and up, thousands of feet towards a semicircle of mountains. Terrace above green or golden terrace, from
the plain to the crenellated wall of peaks, the rice paddies followed the
contour lines, emphasizing every swell and recession of the slope with what
seemed a deliberate and artful intention.
Nature here was no longer merely natural; the landscape had been
composed, had been reduced to its geometrical essences, and rendered, by what
in a painter would have been a miracle of virtuosity, in terms of these sinuous
lines, these streaks of pure bright colour.
"What were you doing in
Rendang?" Dr Robert asked, breaking a long silence.
"Collecting materials for a piece on
the new régime."
"I wouldn't have thought the Colonel
was newsworthy."
"You're mistaken. He's a military dictator. That means there's death in the offing. And death is always news. Even the remote smell of death is news,"
he laughed. "That's why I was told
to drop in on my way back from China."
And there had been other reasons which he
preferred not to mention. Newspapers
were only one of Lord Aldehyde's interests.
In another manifestation he was the South-East Asia Petroleum Company,
he was Imperial and Foreign Copper Limited.
Officially, Will had come to Rendang to sniff the death in its
militarized air; but he had also been commissioned to find out what the
dictator felt about foreign capital, what tax rebates he was prepared to offer,
what guarantees against nationalization.
And how much of the profits would be exportable? How many native technicians and
administrators would have to be employed?
A whole battery of questions. But
Colonel Dipa had been most affable and co-operative. Hence that hair-raising drive, with Murugan
at the wheel, to the copper mines.
"Primitive, my dear Farnaby, primitive. Urgently in need, as you can see for
yourself, of modern equipment."
Another meeting had been arranged - arranged, Will now remembered, for
this very morning. He visualized the
Colonel at his desk. A report from the
chief of police. "Mr Farnaby was
last seen sailing a small boat single-handed into the Pala Strait. Two hours later a storm of great violence ... Presumed dead ...” Instead of which, here he
was, alive and kicking, on the forbidden island.
"They'll never give you a
visa," Joe Aldehyde had said at their last interview. "But perhaps you could sneak ashore in
disguise. Wear a burnous or something,
like Lawrence of Arabia."
With a straight face, "I'll
try," Will had promised.
"Anyhow, if you ever do manage to
land in Pala, make a beeline for the palace.
The Rani - that's their Queen Mother - is an old friend of mine. Met her for the first time six years ago at
Lugano. She was staying there with old
Voegeli, the investment banker. His
girlfriend is interested in spiritualism and they staged a séance for me. A trumpet medium, genuine Direct Voice -
only, unfortunately, it was all in German.
Well, after the lights were turned on, I had a long talk with her."
"With the trumpet?"
"No, no. With the Rani. She's a remarkable woman. You know, the Crusade of the Spirit."
"Was that her
invention?"
"Absolutely. And personally I prefer it to Moral
Rearmament. It goes down better in
Asia. We had a long talk about it that
evening. And after that we talked about
oil. Pala's full of oil. South-East Asia Petroleum has been trying to
get in on it for years. So have all the
other companies. Nothing doing. No oil concessions to anyone. It's their fixed policy. But the Rani doesn't agree with it. She wants to see the oil doing some good in
the world. Financing the Crusade of the
Spirit, for example. So, as I say, if ever
you get to Pala, make a bee-line for the palace. Talk to her.
Get the inside story about the men who make the decisions. Find out if there's a pro-oil minority and
ask how we could help them to carry on the good work." And he had ended by promising Will a handsome
bonus if his efforts should be crowned with success. Enough to give him a full year of
freedom. "No more reporting. Nothing but High Art, Art, A-ART." And he had uttered a scatological laugh as
though the word had an 's' at the end of it, not a 't'. Unspeakable creature! but all the same he wrote for the unspeakable
creature's vile papers and was ready, for a bribe, to do the vile creature's
dirty work. And now, incredibly, here he
was on Palanese soil. As luck would have
it, Providence had been on his side - for the express purpose, evidently, of
perpetrating one of those sinister practical jokes which are Providence's
speciality.
He was called back to present reality by
the sound of Mary Sarojini's shrill voice.
"Here we are!"
Will raised his head again. The little procession had turned off the
highway and was passing through an opening in a white stuccoed wall. To the left, on a rising succession of
terraces, stood lines of low buildings, shaded by peepul trees. Straight ahead an avenue of tall palms sloped
down to a lotus pool, on the further side of which sat a huge stone
Buddha. Turning to the left, they
climbed between flowering trees and through blending perfumes to the first
terrace. Behind a fence, motionless
except for his ruminating jaws, stood a snow-white humped bull, god-like in his
serene and mindless beauty. Europa's
love receded into the past, and here were a brace of Juno's birds trailing
their feathers over the grass. Mary
Sarojini unlatched the gate of a small garden.
"My bungalow," said Dr
MacPhail, and turning to Murugan, "Let me help you to negotiate the
steps."
CHAPTER FOUR
Tom
Krishna and Mary Sarojini had gone to take their siesta with the gardener's
children next door. In her darkened living-room, Susila MacPhail sat alone with
her memories of past happiness and the present pain of her bereavement. The clock in the kitchen struck the half
hour. It was time for her to go. With a sigh she rose, put on her sandals and
walked out into the tremendous glare of the tropical afternoon. She looked up at the sky. Over the volcanoes enormous clouds were
climbing towards the zenith. In an hour
it would be raining. Moving from one
pool of shadow to the next, she made her way along the tree-lined path. With a sudden rattle of quills a flock of
pigeons broke out of one of the towering peepul trees. Green-winged and coral-billed, their breasts
changing colour in the light like mother of pearl, they flew off towards the
forest. How beautiful they were, how
unutterably lovely! Susila was on the
point of turning to catch the expression of delight on Dugald's upturned face;
then, checking herself, she looked down at the ground. There was no Dugald any more; there was only
this pain, like the pain of the phantom limb that goes on haunting the
imagination, haunting even the perceptions, of those who have undergone an amputation. "Amputation," she whispered to
herself, "amputation ...” Feeling her eyes fill with tears, she broke
off. Amputation was no excuse for
self-pity and, for all that Dugald was dead, the birds were as beautiful as
ever and her children, all the other children, had as much need to be loved and
helped and taught. If his absence was so
constantly present, that was to remind her that henceforward she must love for
two, live for two, take thought for two, must perceive and understand not
merely with her own eyes and mind but with the mind and eyes that had been his
and, before the catastrophe, hers too in a communion of delight and
intelligence.
But here was the doctor's bungalow. She mounted the steps, crossed the verandah
and walked into the living-room. Her
father-in-law was seated near the window, sipping cold tea from an earthenware
mug and reading the Journal de Mycologie. He looked up as she approached, and gave her
a welcoming smile.
"Susila, my dear! I'm so glad you
were able to come."
She bent down and kissed his stubbly
cheek.
"What's all this I hear from Mary
Sarojini?" she asked. "Is it
true she found a castaway?"
"From England - but via China,
Rendang and a shipwreck. A
journalist."
"What's he like?"
"The physique of a Messiah. But too clever to believe in God or be
convinced of his own mission. And too
sensitive, even if he were convinced, to carry it out. His muscles would like to act and his
feelings would like to believe; but his nerve-endings and his cleverness won't
allow it."
"So I suppose he's very
unhappy."
"So unhappy that he has to laugh
like a hyena."
"Does he know he laughs like a
hyena?"
"Knows and is rather proud of
it. Even makes epigrams about it. 'I'm the man who won't take yes for an
answer.'"
"Is he badly hurt?" she asked.
"Not badly. But he's running a temperature. I've started him on antibiotics. Now it's up to you to raise his resistance
and give the vis medicatrix naturae a chance."
"I'll do my best." Then after a silence, "I went to see
Lakshmi," she said, "on my way back from school."
"How did you find her?"
"About the same. No, perhaps a little weaker than
yesterday."
"That's what I felt when I saw her
this morning."
"Luckily the pain doesn't seem to
get any worse. We can still handle it
psychologically. And today we worked on
the nausea. She was able to drink
something. I don't think there'll be any
more need for intravenous fluids."
"Thank goodness!" he said. "Those IV's were a torture. Such enormous courage in the face of every real
danger; but whenever it was a question of hypodermic or needle in a vein, the
most abject and irrational terror."
He thought of the time, in the early days
of their marriage, when he had lost his temper and called her a coward for
making such a fuss. Lakshmi had cried
and, having submitted to her martyrdom, had heaped coals of fire upon his head
by begging to be forgiven.
"Lakshmi, Lakshmi ...” And now in a few days she would be
dead. After thirty-seven years. "What did you talk about?" he asked
aloud.
"Nothing in particular," Susila
answered. But the truth was that they
had talked about Dugald and that she couldn't bring herself to repeat what had
passed between them. "My first
baby," the dying woman had whispered.
"I didn't know that babies could be so beautiful." In their skull-deep, skull-dark sockets the
eyes had brightened, the bloodless lips had smiled. "Such tiny, tiny hands," the faint
hoarse voice went on, "such a greedy little mouth!" And an almost fleshless hand tremblingly
touched the place where, before last year's operation, her breast had
been. "I never knew," she
repeated. And, before the event, how
could she have known? It had been a
revelation, an apocalypse of touch and love.
"Do you know what I mean?"
And Susila had nodded. Of course
she knew - had known it in relation to her own two children, known it, in those
other apocalypses of touch and love, with the man that little Dugald of the
tiny hands and greedy mouth had grown into.
"I used to be afraid for him," the dying woman had
whispered. "He was so strong, such
a tyrant, he could have hurt and bullied and destroyed. If he'd married another woman ... I'm so
thankful it was you!" From the
place where the breast had been the fleshless hand moved out and came to rest
on Susila's arm. She had bent her head
and kissed it. They were both crying.
Dr MacPhail sighed, looked up and, like a
man who has climbed out of the water, gave himself a little shake. "The castaway's name is Farnaby,"
he said. "Will Farnaby."
"Will Farnaby," Susila
repeated. "Well, I'd better go and
see what I can do for him." She
turned and walked away.
Dr MacPhail looked after her, then leaned
back in his chair and closed his eyes.
He thought of his son, he thought of his wife - of Lakshmi slowly
wasting to extinction, of Dugald like a bright fiery flame suddenly snuffed
out. Thought of the incomprehensible
sequence of changes and horrors and absurdities whose conjunctions create the
uninterpretable and yet divinely significant pattern of human destiny. "Poor girl," he said to himself,
remembering the look on Susila's face when he had told her of what had happened
to Dugald, "poor girl!"
Meanwhile there was this article of Hallucinogenic mushrooms in the Journal
de Mycologie. That was another of
the irrelevancies that somehow took its place in the pattern. The words of one of the old Raja's queer
little poems came to his mind.
All
things, to all things
perfectly
indifferent,
perfectly
work together
in
discord for a Good beyond
good,
for a Being more
timeless
in transience, more
eternal
in its dwindling than
God
there is heaven.
The door creaked, and an instant later
Will heard light footsteps and the rustle of skirts. Then a hand was laid on his shoulder and a
woman's voice, low-pitched and musical, asked him how he was feeling.
"I'm feeling miserable," he
answered without opening his eyes.
There was no self-pity in his tone, no
appeal for sympathy - only the angry matter-of-factness of a Stoic who has
finally grown sick of the long farce of impassability and is resentfully
blurting out the truth.
"I'm feeling miserable."
The hand touched him again. "I'm Susila MacPhail," said the
voice, "Mary Sarojini's mother."
Reluctantly Will turned his head and
opened his eyes. An adult, darker version of Mary Sarojini was sitting there
beside the bed, smiling at him with friendly solicitude. To smile back at her would have cost him too
great an effort; he contented himself with saying "How do you do,"
then pulled the sheet a little higher and closed his eyes again.
Susila looked down at him in silence - at
the bony shoulders, at the cage of ribs under a skin whose Nordic pallor made
him seem, to her Palanese eyes, so strangely frail and vulnerable, at the
sunburnt face, emphatically featured like a carving intended to be seen at a
distance - emphatic and yet sensitive, the quivering, more than naked face, she
found herself thinking, of a man who had been flayed and left to suffer.
"I hear you're from England,"
she said at last.
"I don't care where I'm from,"
Will muttered irritably. "Now where
I'm going. From hell to
hell."
"I was in England just after the
war," she went on. "As a
student."
He tried not to listen; but ears have no
lids; there was no escape from that intruding voice.
"There was a girl in my psychology
class," it was saying, "her people lived at Wells. She asked me to stay with them for the first
month of the summer vacation. Do you
know Wells?"
Of course he knew Wells. Why did she pester him with her silly
reminiscences?
"I used to love walking there by the
water," Susila went on, "looking across the moat at the
cathedral," - and thinking, while she looked at the cathedral, of Dugald
under the palm trees on the beach, of Dugald giving her her first lesson in
rock climbing. "You're on the
rope. You're perfectly safe. You can't possibly fall ..." Can't possibly fall, she repeated bitterly -
and then remembered here and now, remembered that she had a job to do,
remembered, as she looked again at the flayed emphatic face, that here was a
human being in pain. "How lovely it
was," she went on, "and how marvellously peaceful!"
The voice, it seemed to Will Farnaby, had
become more musical and in some strange way more remote. Perhaps that was why he no longer resented
its intrusion.
"Such an extraordinary sense of
peace. Shanti, shanti, shanti. The peace that passes understanding."
The voice was almost chanting now -
chanting, it seemed, out of some other world.
"I can shut my eyes," it chanted
on, "can shut my eyes and see it all so clearly. Can see the church - and it's enormous, much
taller than the huge trees round the bishop's palace. Can see the green grass and the water and the
golden sunlight on the stones and the slanting shadows between the
buttresses. And listen! I can hear the bells. The bells and the jackdaws. The jackdaws in the tower - can you hear the
jackdaws?"
Yes, he could hear the jackdaws, could
hear them almost as clearly as he now heard those parrots in the trees outside
his window. He was here and at the same
time he was there - here in this dark, sweltering room near the equator, but
also there, outdoors in that cool hollow at the edge of the Mendips, with the
jackdaws calling from the cathedral tower and the sound of the bells dying away
into the green silence.
"And there are white clouds,"
the voice was saying, "and the blue sky between them is so pale, so
delicate, so exquisitely tender."
Tender, he repeated, the tender blue sky
of that April weekend he had spent there, before the disaster of the marriage,
with Molly. There were daisies in the
grass and dandelions, and across the water towered up the huge church,
challenging the wildnesss of those soft April clouds with its austere
geometry. Challenging the wildness, and
at the same time complementing it, coming to terms with it in perfect
reconciliation. That was how it should
have been with himself and Molly - how it had been then.
"And the swans," he now heard
the voice dreamily chanting, "the swans ..."
Yes, the swans. White swans moving across a mirror of jade
and jet - a breathing mirror that heaved and trembled, so that their silvery
images were forever breaking and coming together again, disintegrating and being
made whole.
"Like the inventions of heraldry. Romantic, impossibly beautiful. And yet there they are - real birds in a real
place. So near to me now that I can
almost touch them - and yet so far away, thousands of miles away. Far away on that smooth water, moving as if
by magic, softly, majestically ...
Majestically, moving majestically, with
the dark water lifting and parting as the curved white breasts advanced -
lifting, parting, sliding back in ripples that widened in a gleaming arrowhead
behind them. He could see them moving
across their dark mirror, could hear the jackdaws in the tower, could catch,
through the nearer mingling of disinfectants and gardenias, the cold, flat,
weedy smell of that Gothic moat in the far-away green valley.
"Effortlessly floating," Will
said to himself. "Effortlessly
floating." The words gave him a
deep satisfaction.
"I'd sit there," she was
saying. "I'd sit there looking and
looking, and in a little I'd be floating too. I'd be floating with the swans on that smooth
surface between the darkness below and the pale tender sky above. Floating at the same time on the other
surface between here and far away, between then and now." And between remembered happiness, she was
thinking, and this insistent, excruciating presence of an absence. "Floating," she said aloud,
"on the surface between the real and the imagined, between what comes to
us from the outside and what comes to us from within, from deep, deep down in
here."
She laid her hand on her forehead, and
suddenly the words transformed themselves into the things and events for which
they stood; the images turned into facts.
He actually was floating.
"Floating," the voice softly
insisted. "Floating like a white
bird on the water. Floating on a great river
of life - a great smooth silent river that flows so still, so still, you might
almost think it was asleep. A sleeping
river. But it flows irresistibly.
"Life flowing silently and
irresistibly into ever fuller life, into a living peace all the more profound,
all the richer and stronger and more complete because it knows all your pain
and unhappiness, knows them and takes them into itself and makes them one with
its own substance. And it's into that
peace that you're floating now, floating on this smooth silent river that
sleeps and is yet irresistible, and is irresistible precisely because it's
sleeping. And I'm floating with
it." She was speaking for the
stranger. She was speaking on another
level for herself. "Effortlessly
floating. Not having to do anything at
all. Just letting go, just allowing
myself to be carried along, just asking this irresistible sleeping river of
life to take me where it's going - and knowing all the time that where it's
going is where I want to go, where I have to go: into more life, into living
peace. Along the sleeping river,
irresistibly, into the wholeness of reconciliation."
Involuntarily, unconsciously, Will
Farnaby gave a deep sigh. How silent the
world had become! Silent with a deep
crystalline silence, even though the parrots were still busy out there beyond
the shutters, even though the voice still chanted here beside him. Silence and emptiness and through the silence
and the emptiness flowed the river, sleeping and irresistible.
Susila looked down at the face on the
pillow. It seemed suddenly very young,
child-like in its perfect serenity. The
frowning lines across the forehead had disappeared. The lips that had been so tightly closed in
pain were parted now, and the breath came slowly, softly, almost
imperceptibly. She remembered suddenly
the words that had come into her mind as she looked down, one moonlit night, at
the transfigured innocence of Dugald's face.
"She giveth her beloved sleep."
"Sleep," she said aloud. "Sleep."
The silence seemed to be more absolute,
the emptiness more enormous.
"Asleep on the sleeping river,"
the voice was saying. "And above
the river, in the pale sky, there are huge white clouds. And as you look at them, you begin to float
up towards them. Yes, you begin to float
up towards them, and the river now is a river in the air, an invisible river
that carries you on, carries you up, higher and higher."
Upwards, upwards through the silent
emptiness. The image was the thing, the
words became the experience.
"Out of the hot plain," the
voice went on, "effortlessly into the freshness of the mountains."
Yes, there was the Jungfrau, dazzingly
white against the blue. There was Monte
Rosa ...
"How fresh the air feels as you
breathe it. Fresh, pure, charged with
life!"
He breathed deeply and the new life
flowed into him. And now a little wind
came blowing across the snowfields, cool against his skin, deliciously
cool. And, as though echoing his
thoughts, as though describing his experience, the voice said, "Coolness. Coolness and sleep. Through coolness into more life. Through sleep into reconciliation, into
wholeness, into living peace."
Half an hour later Susila re-entered the
sitting-room.
"Well?" he father-in-law
questioned. "Any success?"
She nodded.
"I talked to him about a place in
England," she said. "He went
off more quickly than I'd expected.
After that I gave him some suggestions about his temperature ..."
"And the knee, I hope."
"Of course."
"Direct suggestion?"
"No, indirect. They're always better. I got him to be conscious of his body
image. Then I made him imagine it much
bigger than in everyday reality - and the knee much smaller. A miserable little thing in revolt against a
huge and splendid thing. There can't be
any doubt as to who's going to win."
She looked at the clock on the wall.
"Goodness, I must hurry.
Otherwise I'll be late for my class at school."
CHAPTER FIVE
The sun
was just rising as Dr Robert entered his wife's room at the hospital. An orange glow and, against it, the jagged
silhouette of the mountains. Then
suddenly a dazzling sickle of incandescence between two peaks. The sickle became a half-circle and the first
long shadows, the first shafts of golden light crossed the garden outside the
window. And when one looked up again at
the mountains there was the whole unbearable glory of the risen sun.
Dr Robert sat down by the bed, took his
wife's hand and kissed it. She smiled at
him, then turned again towards the window.
"How quickly the earth turns!"
she whispered, and then after a silence, "One of these mornings," she
added, "it'll be my last sunrise."
Through the confused chorus of bird cries
and insect noises, a mynah was chanting, "Karuna. Karuna ..."
"Karuna," Lakshmi
repeated. "Compassion ..."
"Karuna. Karuna," the oboe-voice of Buddha
insisted from the garden.
"I shan't be needing it much
longer," she went on. "But
what about you? Poor Robert, what about
you?"
"Somehow or other one finds the
necessary strength," he said.
"But will it be the right kind of
strength? Or will it be the strength of
armour, the strength of shut-offness, the strength of being absorbed in your
work and your ideas and not caring a damn for anything else? Remember how I used to come and pull your
hair and make you pay attention? Who's
going to do that when I'm gone?"
A nurse came in with a glass of sugared
water. Dr Robert slid a hand under his
wife's shoulders and lifted her to a sitting position. The nurse held the glass to her lips. Lakshmi drank a little water, swallowed with
difficulty, then drank again and yet once more.
Turning from the proffered glass, she looked up at Dr Robert. The wasted face was illumined by a strangely
incongruous twinkle of pure mischief.
"'I the Trinity illustrate,'"
the faint voice hoarsely quoted, "'sipping watered orange pulp; in three
sips the Arian frustrate' ...” She broke off.
"What a ridiculous thing to be remembering. But then I always was pretty ridiculous,
wasn't I?"
Dr Robert did his best to smile back at
her. "Pretty ridiculous," he
agreed.
"You used to say I was like a
flea. Here one moment and then, hop!
somewhere else, miles away. No wonder
you could never educate me!"
"But you educated me
all right," he assured her.
"If it hadn't been for you coming in and pulling my hair and making
me look at the world and helping me to understand it, what would I be
today? A pedant in blinkers - in spite
of all my training. But luckily I had
the sense to ask you to marry me, and luckily you had the folly to say yes and
then the wisdom and intelligence to make a good job of me. After thirty-seven years of adult education
I'm almost human."
"But I'm still a flea." She shook her head. "And yet I did try. I tried very hard. I don't know if you ever realized it, Robert:
I was always on tiptoes, always straining up towards the place where you were
doing your work and your thinking and your reading. On tiptoes, trying to reach it, trying to get
up there beside you. Goodness, how
tiring it was! What an endless series of
efforts! And all of them quite
useless. Because I was just a dumb flea
hopping about down here among the people and the flowers and the cats and dogs. Your kind of highbrow world was a place I
could never climb up to, much less find my way in. When this thing happened" (she
raised her hand to her absent breast), "I didn't have to try any
more. No more school, no more
homework. I had a permanent
excuse."
There was a long silence.
"What about taking another
sip?" said the nurse at last.
"Yes, you ought to drink some
more," Dr Robert agreed.
"And ruin the Trinity?" Lakshmi gave him another of her smiles. Through the mask of age and mortal sickness
Dr Robert suddenly saw the laughing girl with whom, half a life-time ago, and
yet only yesterday, he had fallen in love.
An hour later Dr Robert was back in his
bungalow.
"You're going to be all alone this
morning," he announced, after changing the dressing on Will Farnaby's
knee. "I have to drive down to
Shivapuram for a meeting of the Privy Council.
One of our student nurses will come in around twelve to give you your
injection and get you something to eat.
And in the afternoon, as soon as she's finished her work at the school,
Susila will be dropping in again. And
now I must be going." Dr Robert
rose and laid his hand for a moment on Will's arm. "Till this evening." Half-way to the door he halted and turned
back. "I almost forgot to give you
this." From one of the side pockets
of his sagging jacket he pulled out a small green booklet. "It's the Old Raja's Notes of What's
What, and on What it Might be Reasonable to Do about What's What."
"What an admirable title!" said
Will as he took the proffered book.
"And you'll like the contents,
too," Dr Robert assured him.
"Just a few pages, that's all.
But if you want to know what Pala is all about, there's no better
introduction."
"Incidentally," Will asked,
"who is the Old Raja?"
"Who was he, I'm afraid. The Old Raja died in thirty-eight - after a
reign three years longer than Queen Victoria's.
His eldest son died before he did, and he was succeeded by his grandson,
who was an ass - but made up for it by being short-lived. The present Raja is his great-grandson."
"And, if I may ask a personal
question, how does anybody called MacPhail come into the picture?"
"The first MacPhail of Pala came
into it under the Old Raja's grandfather - the Raja of the Reform, we call
him. Between them, he any my
great-grandfather invented modern Pala.
The Old Raja consolidated their work and carried it further. And today we're doing our best to follow in
his footsteps."
Will held up the Notes on What's What.
"Does this give the history of the
reforms?"
Dr Robert shook his head. "It merely states the underlying
principles. Read about those first. When I get back from Shivapuram this evening,
I'll give you a taste of the history.
You'll have a better understanding of what was actually done, if you
start by knowing what had to be done - what always and everywhere has to be
done by anyone who has a clear idea about what's what. So read it, read it. And don't forget to drink your fruit juice at
eleven."
Will watched him go, then opened the
little green book and started to read.
Nobody needs to go anywhere else. We are all, if we only knew it, already
there.
If I only knew who in fact I am, I should
cease to behave as what I think I am; and if I stopped behaving as what I think I am, I should know
who I am.
What in fact I am, if only the Manichee I
think I am would allow me to know it, is the reconciliation of yes and no lived
out in total acceptance and the blessed experience of Not-Two.
In religion all words are dirty
words. Anybody who gets eloquent about
Buddha, or God, or Christ, ought to have his mouth washed out with carbolic
soap.
Because his aspiration to perpetuate only
the 'yes' in every pair of opposites can never, in the nature of things, be
realized, the insulated Manichee I think I am condemns himself to endlessly
repeated frustration, endlessly repeated conflicts with other aspiring and
frustrated Manichees.
Conflicts and frustrations - the theme of
all history and almost all biography.
"I show you sorrow," said the Buddha realistically. But he also showed the ending of sorrow -
self-knowledge, total acceptance, the blessed experience of Not-Two.
II
Knowing
who in fact we are results in Good Being, and Good Being results in the most
appropriate kind of good doing. But good
doing does not of itself result in Good Being.
We can be virtuous without knowing who in fact we are. The beings who are merely good are not Good
Beings; they are just pillars of society.
Most pillars are their own Samsons. They hold up, but sooner or later they also
pull down. There has never been a
society in which most good doing was the product of Good Being and therefore
constantly appropriate. This does not
mean that there will never be such a society or that we in Pala are fools for
trying to call it into existence.
III
The
Yogin and the Stoic - two righteous egos who achieve their very considerable
results by pretending, systematically, to be somebody else. But it is not by pretending to be somebody
else, even somebody supremely good and wise, that we can pass from insulated
Manicheehood to Good Being.
Good Being is knowing who in fact we are;
are in order to know who in fact we are, we must first know, moment by moment,
who we think we are and what this bad habit of thought compels us to feel and
do. A moment of clear and complete
knowledge of what we think we are, but in fact are not, puts a stop, for a
moment, to the Manichean charade. If we
renew, until they become a continuity, these moments of the knowledge of what
we are not, we may find ourselves, all of a sudden, knowing in fact who we are.
Concentration, abstract thinking, spiritual
exercises - systematic exclusions in the realm of thought. Asceticism and hedonism - systematic
exclusions in the realms of sensation, feeling and action. But Good Being is in the knowledge of who in
fact one is in relation to all experiences; so be aware - aware in every
context, at all times and whatever, creditable or discreditable, pleasant or
unpleasant, you may be doing or suffering.
This is the only genuine yoga, the only spiritual exercise worth practising.
The more a man knows about individual
objects, the more he knows about God. Translating
Spinoza's language into ours, we can say: The more a man knows about himself in
relation to every kind of experience, the greater his chance of suddenly, one
fine morning, realizing who in fact he is - or rather Who (capital W) in Fact
(capital F) 'he' (between quotation marks) Is (capital I).
St John was right. In a blessedly speechless universe, the word
was not only with God; it was God. As a something to be believed in. God is a projected symbol, a defined
name. God = 'God'.
Faith is something very different from
belief. Belief is the systematic taking
of unanalysed words much too seriously.
Paul's words, Mohammed's words, Marx's words, Hitler's words - people
take them too seriously, and what happens?
What happens is the senseless ambivalence
of history - sadism verses duty, or (incomparably worse) sadism as duty;
devotion counterbalanced by organized paranoia; sisters of charity selflessly
tending the victims of their own church's inquisitors and crusaders. Faith, on the contrary, can never be taken
too seriously. For Faith is the
empirically justified confidence in our capacity to know who in fact we are, to
forget the belief intoxicated Manichee in Good Being. Give us this day our daily Faith, but deliver
us, dear God, from Belief.
There was a tap at the door. Will looked up from his book.
"Who's there?"
"It's me," said a voice that
brought back unpleasant memories of Colonel Dipa and that unpleasant drive in
the white Mercedes. Dressed only in
white sandals, white shorts and a platinum wristwatch, Murugan was advancing
towards the bed.
"How nice of you to come and see
me!"
Another visitor would have asked him how
he was feeling; but Murugan was too whole-heartedly concerned with himself to
be able even to simulate the slighted interest in anyone else. "I came to the door three-quarters of an
hour ago," he said in tones of aggrieved complaint. "But the old man hadn't left, so I had
to go home again. And then I had to sit
with my mother and the man who's staying with us while they were having their
breakfast ..."
"Why couldn't you come in while Dr
Robert was here?" Will asked.
"Is it against the rules for you to talk to me?"
The boy shook his head impatiently. "Of course not. I just didn't want him to know the reason for
my coming to see you."
"The reason?" Will smiled.
"Visiting the sick is an act of charity - highly commendable."
His irony was lost upon Murugan, who went
on steadily thinking about his own affairs.
"Thank you for not telling them you'd seen me before," he said
abruptly, almost angrily. It was as
though he resented having to acknowledge his obligation, and was furious with
Will for having done him the good turn which demanded this acknowledgement.
"I could see you didn't want me to
say anything about it," said Will.
"So of course I didn't."
"I wanted to thank you,"
Murugan muttered between his teeth and in a tone that would have been
appropriate to 'You dirty swine!'
"Don't mention it," said Will
with mock politeness.
What a delicious creature! he was
thinking as he looked, with amused curiosity, at that smooth golden torso, that
averted face, regular as a statue but no longer Olympian, no longer classical -
a Hellenistic face, mobile and all too human.
A vessel of incomparable beauty - but what did it contain? It was a pity, he reflected, that he hadn't
asked that question a little more seriously before getting involved with his
unspeakable Babs. But then Babs was a
female. By the sort of heterosexual he
was, the sort of rational question he was now posing was unanswerable. As no doubt it would be, by anyone
susceptible to boys, in regard to this bad-blooded little demi-god sitting at
the end of his bed. "Didn't Dr
Robert know you'd gone to Rendang?" he asked.
"Of course he knew. Everybody knew it. I'd gone there to fetch my mother. She was staying there with some of her
relations. I went over to bring her back to Pala. It was absolutely official."
"Then why didn't you want me to say
that I'd met you over there?"
Murugan hesitated for a moment, then
looked up at Will defiantly.
"Because I didn't want them to know I'd been seeing Colonel
Dipa."
Oh, so that was it! "Colonel Dipa's a remarkable man,"
he said aloud, fishing with sugared bait for confidences.
Surprisingly unsuspicious, the fish rose
at once. Murugan's sulky face lit up
with enthusiasm and there, suddenly, was Antinous in all the fascinating beauty
of his ambiguous adolescence. "I
think he's wonderful," he said, and for the first time since he had
entered the room he seemed to recognize Will's existence and gave him the
friendliest of smiles. The Colonel's
wonderfulness had made him forget his resentment, had made it possible for him,
momentarily, to love everybody - even this man to whom he owed a rankling debt
of gratitude. "Look at what he's
done for Rendang!"
"He's certainly doing a great deal
for Rendang," said Will non-committally.
A cloud passed across Murugan's radiant
face. "They don't think so
here," he said, frowning.
"They think he's awful."
"Who thinks so?"
"Practically everybody!"
"So they didn't want you to see
him?"
With the expression of an urchin who has
cocked a snook while the teacher's back is turned, Murugan grinned
triumphantly. "They thought I was
with my mother all the time."
Will picked up the cue at once. "Did your mother know you were seeing
the Colonel?" he asked.
"Of course."
"And had no objection?"
"She was all for it."
And yet, Will felt quite sure, he hadn't
been mistaken when he thought of Hadrian and Antinous. Was the woman blind? Or didn't she wish to see what was happening?
"But if she doesn't
mind," he said aloud, "why should Dr Robert and the rest of them
object?" Murugan looked at him
suspiciously. Realizing that he had
ventured too far into forbidden territory, Will hastily drew a red herring
across the trail. "Do they
think," he asked with a laugh, "that he might convert you to a belief
in military dictatorship?"
The red herring was duly followed, and
the boy's face relaxed into a smile.
"Not that, exactly," he answered, "but something like
it. It's all so stupid," he added
with a shrug of the shoulders.
"Just idiotic protocol."
"Protocol?" Will was genuinely puzzled.
"Weren't you told anything about
me?"
"Only what Dr Robert said
yesterday."
"You mean, about my being a
student?" Murugan threw back his
head and laughed.
"What's so funny about being a
student?"
"Nothing - nothing at
all." The boy looked away
again. There was a silence. Still averted, "The reason," he
said at last, "why I'm not supposed to see Colonel Dipa is that he's the
head of a state and I'm the head of a state. When we meet, it's international
politics."
"What do you mean?"
"I happen to be the Raja of
Pala."
"The Raja of Pala?"
"Since fifty-four. That was when my father died."
"And your mother, I take it, is the
Rani?"
"My mother is the Rani."
Make a bee-line for the palace. But here was the palace making a bee-line for
him. Providence, evidently, was on the
side of Joe Aldehyde and working overtime.
"Were you the eldest son?" he
asked.
"The only son," Murugan
replied. And then, stressing his
uniqueness still more emphatically, "The only child," he
added. "So there's no possible
doubt," said Will. "My
goodness! I ought to be calling you Your
Majesty. Or at least Sir." The words were spoken laughingly; but it was
with the most perfect seriousness and a sudden assumption of regal dignity that
Murugan responded to them.
"You'll have to call me that at the
end of next week," he said.
"After my birthday. I shall
be eighteen. That's when a Raja of Pala
comes of age. Till then I'm just Murugan
Mailendra. Just a student leaning a
little bit about everything - including plant breeding," he added
contemptuously - "so that, when the time comes, I shall know what I'm
doing."
"And when the time comes, what will
you be doing?" Between this pretty
Antinous and his portentous office, there was a contrast which Will found
richly comic. "How do you propose
to act?" he continued on a bantering note.
"Off with their heads? L'
État c'est Moi?"
Seriousness and regal dignity hardened
into rebuke. "Don't be
stupid."
Amused, Will went through the motions of
apology. "I just wanted to find out
how absolute you were going to be?"
"Pala is a constitutional
monarchy," Murugan answered gravely.
"In other words, you're just going
to be a symbolic figurehead - to reign, like the Queen of England, but not
rule."
Forgetting his regal dignity, "No, no,"
Murugan almost screamed. "Not
like the Queen of England. The Raja of
Pala doesn't just reign; he rules."
Too much agitated to sit still, Murugan jumped up and began to walk
about the room. "He rules
constitutionally; but, by God, he rules, he rules!" Murugan walked to the window and looked
out. Turning back after a moment of
silence, he confronted Will with a face transfigured by its new expression into
an emblem, exquisitely moulded and coloured, of an all too familiar kind of
psychological ugliness. "I'll show
them who's the boss around here," he said in a phrase and tone which had
obviously been borrowed from the hero of some American gangster movie. "These people think they can push me
around," he went on reciting from the dismally commonplace script,
"the way they pushed my father around.
But they're making a big mistake."
He uttered a sinister snigger and wagged his beautiful, odious
head. "A big mistake," he
repeated.
The words had been spoken between
clenched teeth and with scarcely moving lips; the lower jaw had been thrust out
so as to look like the jaw of a comic-strip criminal; the eyes glared coldly
between narrowed lids. At once absurd
and horrible, Antinous had become the caricature of all the tough guys in all
the B-pictures from time immemorial.
"Who's been running the country
during your minority?" Will now asked.
"Three sets of old fogeys,"
Murugan answered contemptuously.
"The Cabinet, the House of Representatives, and then, representing me,
the Raja, the Privy Council."
"Poor old fogeys!" said
Will. "They'll soon be getting the
shock of their lives." Entering
gaily into the spirit of delinquency, he laughed aloud. "I only hope I'll still be around to see
it happening."
Murugan joined in the laughter - joined
in it not as the sinisterly mirthful Tough Guy but, with one of those sudden
changes of mood and expression that would make it, Will foresaw, so hard for
him to play the Tough Guy part, as the triumphant urchin of a few minutes earlier. "The shock of their lives," he
repeated happily.
"Have you made any specific
plans?"
"I most certainly have," said
Murugan. On his mobile face the
triumphant urchin made way for the statesman, grave but condescendingly
affable, at a press conference.
"Top priority: get this place modernized. Look at what Rendang has been able to do
because of its oil royalties."
"But doesn't Pala get any oil
royalties?" Will questioned with that innocent air of total ignorance,
which he had found by long experience to be the best way of eliciting
information from the simple-minded and the self-important.
"Not a penny," said
Murugan. "And yet the southern end
of the island is fairly oozing with the stuff.
But except for a few measly little wells for home consumption, the old
fogeys won't do anything about it. And
what's more, they won't allow anyone else to do anything about it." The statesman was growing angry; there were hints
now in his voice and expression of the Tough Guy. "All sorts of people have made offers -
South-East Asia Petroleum, Shell, Royal Dutch, Standard of California. But the bloody old fools won't listen."
"Can't you persuade them to
listen?"
"I'll damn well make them
listen," said the Tough Guy.
"That's the spirit!" Then, casually, "Which of the offers do
you think of accepting?" he asked.
"Colonel Dipa's working with
Standard of California, and he thinks it might be best if we did the
same."
"I wouldn't do that without at least
getting a few competing bids."
"That's what I think too. So does my mother."
"Very wise."
"My mother's all for South-East Asia
Petroleum. She knows the Chairman of the
Board, Lord Aldehyde."
"She knows Lord Aldehyde? But how extraordinary!" The tone of delighted astonishment was
thoroughly convincing. "Joe
Aldehyde is a friend of mine. I write
for his papers. I even serve as his
private ambassador.
Confidentially," he added, "that's why we took that trip to
the copper mines. Copper is one of Joe's
sidelines. But of course his real love
is oil."
Murugan tried to look shrewd. "What would he be prepared to
offer?"
Will picked up the cue and answered, in
the best movie-tycoon style, "Whatever Standard offers plus a little
more."
"Fair enough," said Murugan out
of the same script, and nodded sagely.
There was a long silence. When he
spoke again, it was as the statesman granting an interview to representatives
of the press.
"The oil royalties," he said,
"will be used in the following manner.
Twenty-five per cent of all monies received will go to World
Reconstruction."
"May I ask," Will inquired
deferentially, "precisely how you propose to reconstruct the world?"
"Through the Crusade of the
Spirit. Do you know about the Crusade of
the Spirit."
"Of course. Who doesn't."
"It's a great world movement,"
said the statesman gravely. "Like
Early Christianity. Founded by my
mother."
Will registered awe and astonishment.
"Yes, founded by my mother,"
Murugan repeated, and he added impressively, "I believe it's man's only
hope."
"Quite," said Will Farnaby,
"quite."
"Well, that's how the first
twenty-five per cent of the royalties will be used," the statesman
continued. "The remainder will go
into an intensive programme of industrialization." The tone changed again. "These old idiots here only want to
industrialize in spots and leave all the rest as it was a thousand years
ago."
"Whereas you'd like to go the whole
hog. Industrialization for
industrialization's sake."
"No, industrialization for the
country's sake. Industrialization to
make Pala strong. To make other people
respect us. Look at Rendang. Within five years they'll be manufacturing
all the rifles and mortars and ammunition they need. It'll be quite a long time before they can
make tanks. But meanwhile they can buy
them from Skoda with their oil money."
"How soon will they graduate to
H-bombs?" Will asked ironically.
"They won't even try," Murugan
answered. "But after all," he
added, "H-bombs aren't the only absolute-weapons." He pronounced the phrase with relish. It was evident that he found the taste of
'absolute-weapons' positively delicious.
"Chemical and biological weapons - Colonel Dipa calls them the poor
man's H-bombs. One of the first things
I'll do is to build a big insecticide plant." Murugan laughed and winked an eye. "If you can make insecticides," he
said, "you can make nerve gas."
Will remembered that still unfinished
factory in the suburbs of Rendang-Lobo.
"What's that?" he had asked
Colonel Dipa as they flashed past it in the white Mercedes.
"Insecticides," the Colonel had
answered. And showing his gleaming white
teeth in a genial smile, "We shall soon be exporting the stuff all over
South-East Asia."
At the time, of course, he had thought
that the Colonel merely meant what he said.
But now ... Will shrugged his mental shoulders. Colonels will be Colonels and boys, even boys
like Murugan, will be gun-loving boys.
There would always be plenty of jobs for special correspondents on the
trail of death.
"So you'll strengthen Pala's
army?" Will said aloud.
"Strengthen it? No - I'll create it. Pala doesn't have an army."
"None at all?"
"Absolutely nothing. They're all pacifists." The p was an explosion of disgust, the
s's hissed contemptuously.
"I shall have to start from scratch."
"And you'll militarize as you
industrialize, is that it?"
"Exactly."
Will laughed. "Back to the Assyrians! You'll go down in history as a true
revolutionary."
"That's what I hope," said
Murugan. "Because that's what my
policy is going to be - Continuing Revolution."
"Very good!" Will applauded.
"I'll just be continuing the
revolution that was started more than a hundred years ago by Dr Robert's
great-grandfather when he came to Pala and helped my
great-great-great-grandfather to put through the first reforms. Some of the things they did were really
wonderful. Not all of them, mind
you," he qualified; and with the absurd solemnity of a schoolboy playing
Polonius in an end-of-term performance of Hamlet he shook his curly head
in grave, judicial disapproval.
"But at least they did something. Whereas nowadays we're governed by a set of
do-nothing conservatives. Conservatively
primitive - they won't lift a finger to bring in modern improvements. And conservatively radical - they refuse to
change any of the old bad revolutionary ideas that ought to be changed. They won't reform the reforms. And I tell you, some of those so-recalled
reforms are absolutely disgusting."
"Meaning, I take it, that they have
something to do with sex?"
Murugan nodded and turned away his
face. To his astonishment, Will saw that
he was blushing.
"Give me an example," he
demanded.
But Murugan could not bring himself to be
explicit.
"Ask Dr Robert," he said,
"ask Vijaya. They think that
sort of thing is simply wonderful. In fact
they all do. That's one of the reasons
why nobody wants to change. They'd like
everything to go on as it is, in the same old disgusting way, for ever and
ever."
"For ever and ever," a rich
contralto voice teasingly repeated.
"Mother!" Murugan sprang to his feet.
Will turned and saw in the doorway a
large florid woman swathed (rather incongruously, he thought; for that kind of
fact and build usually went with mauve and magenta and electric blue) in clouds
of white muslin. She stood there smiling
with a conscious mysteriousness, one fleshy brown arm upraised, with its
jewelled hand pressed against the door jamb, in the pose of the great actress,
the acknowledged diva, pausing at her first entrance to accept the
plaudits of her adorers on the other side of the footlights. In the background, waiting patiently for his
cue, stood a tall man in the dove-grey Dacron suit whom Murugan, peering past
the massive embodiment of maternity that almost filled the doorway, now greeted
as Mr Bahu.
Still in the wings, Mr Bahu bowed without
speaking.
Murugan turned again to his mother. "Did you walk here?" he
asked. His tone expressed incredulity
and an admirable solicitude. Walking
here - how unthinkable! But if she had
walked, what heroism! "All the
way?"
"All the way, my baby," she
echoed, tenderly playful. The uplifted
arm came down, slid round the boy's slender body, pressed it, engulfed in
floating draperies, against the enormous bosom, then released it again. "I had one of my Impulses." She had a way, Will noticed, of making you
actually hear the capital letters at the beginning of the words she
meant to emphasize. "My Little
Voice said 'Go and see this Stranger at Dr Robert's house. Go!'
'Now?' I said. 'Malgré la
chaleur?' Which makes my little
voice lose patience. 'Woman,' it says,
'hold your silly tongue and do what you're told.' So here I am, Mr Farnaby." With hand outstretched and surrounded by a powerful aura of sandalwood oil, she
advanced towards him.
Will bowed over the thick bejewelled
fingers and mumbled something that ended in "Your Highness" ...
"Bahu!" she called, using the
royal prerogative of the unadorned surname.
Responding to his long-awaited cue, the
supporting actor made his entrance and was introduced as His Excellency, Abdul
Bahu, the Ambassador of Rendang: "Abdul Pierre Bahu - car se mère est
parisienne. But he learned his
English in New York."
He looked, Will thought as he shook the
ambassador's hand, like Savonarola - but a Savonarola with a monocle and a
tailor in Savile Row.
"Bahu," said the Rani, "is
Colonel Dipa's Brains Trust."
"Your Highness, if I may be
permitted to say so, is much too kind to me and not nearly enough to the
Colonel."
His words and manner were courtly to the
point of being ironical, a parody of deference and self-abasement.
"The brains," he went on,
"are where brains ought to be - in the head. As for me, I am merely a part of Rendang's
sympathetic nervous system."
"Et combien sympathique!"
said the Rani. "Among other things,
Mr Farnaby, Bahu is the Last of the Aristocrats. You should see his country place! Like the Arabian Nights! One claps one's hands - and instantly there
are six servants ready to do one's bidding.
One has a birthday - and there is a fête nocturne in the
gardens. Music, refreshments, dancing
girls; two hundred retainers carrying torches.
The life of Haroun al Rashid, but with modern plumbing."
"It sounds quite delightful,"
said Will, remembering the villages through which he had passed in Colonel
Dipa's white Mercedes - the wattled huts, the garbage, the children with
opthalmia, the skeleton dogs, the women bent double under enormous loads.
"And such taste," the Rani went
on, "such a well-stored mind and, through it all" (she lowered her
voice), "such a deep and unfailing Sense of the Divine."
My Bahu bowed his head, and there was a
silence.
Murugan, meanwhile, had pushed up a
chair. Without so much as a backward
glance - really confident that someone must always, in the very nature of
things, be at hand to guard against mishaps and loss of dignity - the Rani sat
down with all the majestic emphasis of her hundred kilograms.
"I hope you don't feel that my visit
is an intrusion," she said to Will.
He assured her that he didn't; but she continued to apologize ...
"I would have given warning," she said, "I would have asked your
permission. But my Little Voice says,
'No - you must go now.' Why? I cannot say.
But no doubt we shall find out in due course." She fixed him with her large, bulging eyes
and gave him a mysterious smile.
"And now, first of all, how are you, dear Mr Farnaby?"
"As you see, ma'am, in very good
shape."
"Truly?" The bulging eyes scrutinized his face with an
intentness that he found embarrassing.
"I can see that you're the kind of heroically considerate man who
will go on reassuring his friends even on his deathbed."
"You're very flattering," he
said. "But as it happens, I am
in good shape. Amazingly so, all things
considered - miraculously so."
"Miraculous," said the Rani, "was
the very word I used when I heard about your escape. It was a miracle."
"As luck would have it," Will
quoted again from Erewhon, 'Providence was on my side.'"
"How true!" the Rani was
saying, and her rich contralto thrillingly vibrated. "Provided is always on our
side." And when Will raised a
questioning eyebrow, "I mean," she elaborated, "in the eyes of
those who Truly Understand."
(Capital T, capital U.) "And
this is true even when all things seem to conspire against us - même dans le
désastre. You understand French, of
course, Mr Farnaby? Will nodded. "It often comes to me more easily than
my own native tongue, or English or Palanese.
After so many years in Switzerland," she explained, "first at
school. And again, later on, when my
poor baby's health was so precarious" (she patted Murugan's bare arm)
"and we had to go and live in the mountains. Which illustrates what I was saying about
Providence always being on our side.
When they told me that my little boy was on the brink of consumption, I
forgot everything I'd ever learnt. I was
mad with fear and anguish, I was indignant against God for having allowed such
a thing to happen. What Utter Blindness! My baby got well and those years among the
Eternal Snows were the happiest of our lives - weren't they, darling?"
"The happiest of our lives,"
the boy agreed, with what almost sounded like complete sincerity.
The Rani smiled triumphantly, pouted her
full red lips and with a faint smack parted them again in a long-distance
kiss. "So you see, my dear
Farnaby," she went on, "you see.
It's really self-evident. Nothing
happens by Accident. There's a Great Plan,
and within the Great Plan innumerable little plans. A little plan for each and every one of
us."
"Quite," said Will politely. "Quite."
"There was a time," the Rani
continued, "when I knew it only with my intellect. Now I know it with my heart. I really ..." she paused for an instant
to prepare for the utterance of the mystic majuscule, "Understand."
"Psychic as hell." Will remembered what Joe Aldehyde had said of
her. And surely that life-long
frequenter of séances should know.
"I take it, ma'am," he said,
"that you're naturally psychic."
"From birth," she
admitted. "But also and above all
by training. Training, needless to say,
in Something Else."
"Something else?"
"In the life of the Spirit. As one advances along the Path, all the sidhis,
all the psychic gifts and miraculous powers, develop spontaneously."
"Is that so?"
"My Mother," Murugan proudly
assured him, "can do the most fantastic things."
"N'exagérons pas, chéri."
"But it's the truth," Murugan
insisted.
"A truth," the ambassador put
in, "which I can confirm. And I
confirm it," he added, smiling at his own expense, "with a certain
reluctance. As a life-long sceptic about
these things, I don't like to see the impossible happening. But I have an unfortunate weakness for
honesty. And when the impossible
actually does happen, before my eyes, I'm compelled malgré moi to bear
witness to the fact. Her Highness does
do the most fantastic things."
"Well, if you'd like to put it that
way," said the Rani, beaming with pleasure. "But never forget, Bahu, never
forget. Miracles are of absolutely no
importance. What's important is the
Other Thing - the Thing one comes to at the end of the Path."
"After the Fourth Initiation,"
Murugan specified. "My Mother
..."
"Darling!" The Rani had raised a finger to her
lips. "These are the things one
doesn't talk about."
"I'm sorry," said the boy. There was a long and pregnant silence.
The Rani closed her eyes, and Mr Bahu,
letting fall his monocle, reverentially followed suit and became the image of
Savonarola in silent prayer. What was
going on behind that austere, that almost fleshless mask of recollectedness? Will looked and wondered.
"May I ask?" he said at last,
"how you first came, ma'am, to find the Path?"
For a second or two the Rani said
nothing, merely sat there with her eyes shut, smiling her Buddha smile of
mysterious bliss. "Providence found
it for me," she answered at last.
"Quite, quite. But there must have been an occasion, a
place, a human instrument."
"I'll tell you." The lids fluttered apart and once again he
found himself under the bright unswerving glare of those protuberant eyes of
hers.
The place had been Lausanne; the time,
the first year of her Swiss education; the chosen instrument, darling little
Mme Buloz. Darling little Mme Buloz was
the wife of darling old Professor Buloz, and old Professor Buloz was the man to
whose charge, after careful inquiry and much anxious thought, she had been
committed by her father, the late Sultan of Rendang. The Professor was sixty-seven, taught geology
and was a Protestant of so austere a sect that, except for drinking a glass of
claret with his dinner, saying his prayers only twice a day and being strictly
monogamous, he might almost have been a Muslim.
Under such guardianship a princess of Rendang would be intellectually
stimulated, while remaining morally and doctrinally intact. But the Sultan had reckoned without the
Professor's wife. Mme Buloz was only
forty, plump, sentimental, bubblingly enthusiastic and, though officially of
her husband's Protestant persuasion, a newly converted and intensely ardent
Theosophist. In a room at the top of the
tall house near the Place de la Riponne she had her Oratory, to which, whenever
she could find time, she would secretly retire to do breathing exercises,
practise concentration, and raise Kundalini.
Strenuous disciplines! But the
reward was transcendentally great. In
the small hours of a hot summer night, while the darling old Professor lay
rhythmically snoring two floors down, she had become aware of a Presence: the
Master Koot Hoomi was with her.
The Rani made an impressive pause.
"Extraordinary," said Mr Bahu.
"Extraordinary," Will dutifully
echoed.
The Rani resumed her narrative. Irrepressibly happy, Mme Buloz had been
unable to keep her secret. She had
dropped mysterious hints, had passed from hints to confidences, from confidences
to an invitation to the Oratory, and a course of instruction. In a very short time Koot Hoomi was bestowing
greater favours upon the novice than upon her teacher.
"And from that day to this,"
she concluded, "the Master has helped me to Go Forward."
To go forward, Will asked himself, into
what? Koot Hoomi only knew. But whatever it was that she had gone forward
into, he didn't like it. There was an
expression on that large florid face which he found peculiarly distasteful - an
expression of domineering calm, of serene and unshakeable self-esteem. She reminded him in a curious way of Joe
Aldehyde. Joe was one of those happy
tycoons who feel qualms, but rejoice without inhibition in their money and in
all that their money will buy in the way of influence and power. And here - albeit clothed in white samite,
mystic, wonderful - was another of Joe Aldehyde's breed: a female tycoon who
had cornered the market, not in soya beans or copper, but in Pure Spirituality
and the Ascended Masters, and was now happily running her hands over the
exploit.
"Here's one example of what He's
done for me," the Rani went on.
"Eight years ago - to be exact, on the twenty-third of November
1953 - the Master came to me in my morning Meditation. Came in Person, came in Glory. 'A great Crusade is to be launched,' He said,
'a World-Movement to save Humanity from self-destruction. And you, my child, are the Appointed
Instrument.’ 'Me? A world movement? But that's absurd,' I said. 'I've never made a speech in my whole life. I've never written a word for
publication. I've never been a leader or
an organizer.' 'Nevertheless,' He said
(and He gave me one of those indescribably beautiful smiles of His),
'nevertheless it is you who will launch this Crusade - the World-Wide Crusade
of the Spirit. You will be laughed at,
you will be called a fool, a crank, a fanatic.
The dogs bark, the Caravan passes.
From tiny, laughable beginnings the Crusade of the Spirit is destined to
become a Mighty Force. A force for Good,
a force that will ultimately Save the World.'
And with that He left me. Left be
stunned, bewildered, scared out of my wits.
But there was nothing for it; I had to obey. I did obey. And what happened? I made speeches, and He gave me
eloquence. I accepted the burden of
leadership and, because He was walking invisibly at my side, people followed
me. I asked for help, and the money came
pouring in. So here I am." She threw out her thick hands in a gesture of
self-depreciation, she smiled a mystic smile.
A poor thing, she seemed to be saying, but not my own - my
Master's, Koot Hoomi's. "Here I
am," she repeated.
"Here, praise God," said Mr
Bahu devoutly, "you are."
After a decent interval Will asked the
Rani if she had always kept up the practices so providentially learned in Mme
Buloz's oratory.
"Always," she answered. "I could no more do without Meditation
than I could do without Food."
"Wasn't it rather difficult after
you were married? I mean, before you
went back to Switzerland. There must
have been so many tiresome official duties."
"Not to mention all the unofficial
ones," said the Rani in a tone that implied whole volumes of unfavourable
comment upon her late husband's character, weltanschauung and sexual
habits. She opened her mouth to elaborate
on the theme, then closed it again and looked at Murugan. "Darling," she called.
Murugan, who was absorbedly polishing the
nails of his left hand upon the open palm of his right, looked up with a guilty
start. "Yes, Mother?"
Ignoring the nails and his evident
unattention to what she had been saying, the Rani gave him a seducing
smile. "Be an angel," she
said, "and go and fetch the car. My
Little Voice doesn't say anything about walking back to the
bungalow. It's only a few hundred
yards," she explained to Will.
"But in this heat, and at my age ..."
Her words called for some kind of
flattering rebuttal. But if it was too
hot to walk, it was also too hot, Will felt, to put forth the very considerable
amount of energy required for a convincing show of bogus sincerity. Fortunately a professional diplomat, a
practised courtier was on hand to make up for the uncouth journalist's
deficiencies. Mr Bahu uttered a peal of
light-hearted laughter, then apologized for his merriment.
"But it was really too funny! 'At my age,' he repeated, and laughed
again. "Murugan is not quite
eighteen, and I happen to know how old - how very young - the Princess
of Rendang was when she married the Raja of Pala."
Murugan, meanwhile, had obediently risen
and was kissing his mother's hand.
"Now we can talk more freely,"
said the Rani, when he had left the room.
And freely - her face, her tone, her bulging eyes, her whole quivering
frame registering the most intense disapproval - she now let fly.
De mortuis ... She wouldn't say
anything about her husband except that, in most respects, he was a typical
Palanese, a true representative of his country.
For the sad truth was that Pala's smooth bright skin concealed the most
horrible rottenness.
"When I think what they tried to do
to my Baby, two years ago, when I was on my world tour for the Crusade of the
Spirit." With a jingling of
bracelets she lifted her hands in horror.
"It was an agony for me to be parted from him for so long; but the
Master had sent me on a Mission, and my Little Voice told me that it wouldn't
be right for me to take my Baby with me.
He'd lived abroad for so long. It
was time for him to get to know the country he was to rule. So I decided to leave him here. The Privy Council appointed a committee of
guardianship. Two women with growing
boys of their own and two men - one of whom, I regret to say," (more in
sorrow than in anger) "was Dr Robert MacPhail. Well, to cut a long story short, no sooner
was I safely out of the country than those precious guardians, to whom I'd
entrusted my Baby, my Only Son, set to work systematically - systematically,
Mr Farnaby - to undermine my influence.
They tried to destroy the whole edifice of Moral and Spiritual Values,
which I had so laboriously built up over the years."
Somewhat maliciously (for of course he
knew what the woman was talking about) Will expressed his astonishment. The whole edifice of moral and
spiritual values. And yet nobody could
have been kinder than Dr Robert and the others, no Good Samaritans were ever
more simply and effectively charitable.
"I'm not denying their
kindness," said the Rani.
"But, after all, kindness isn't the only virtue."
"Of course not," Will agreed,
and he listed all the qualities that the Rani seemed most conspicuously to
lack. "There's also sincerity. Not
to mention truthfulness, humility, selflessness ..."
"You're forgetting Purity,"
said the Rani severely. "Purity is
fundamental, Purity is the sine qua non."
"But here in Pala, I gather, they
don't think so."
"They most certainly do not,"
said the Rani. And she went on to tell
him how her poor Baby had been deliberately exposed to impurity, even actively
encouraged to indulge in it with one of those precocious, promiscuous girls of
whom, in Pala, there were only too many.
And when they found that he wasn't the sort of boy who would seduce a
girl (for she had brought him up to think of Woman as essentially Holy), they
had encouraged the girl to do her best to seduce him.
Had she, Will wondered, succeeded? Or had Antinous already been girl-proofed by
little friends of his own age or, still more effectively, by some older, more
experienced and authoritative pederast, some Swiss precursor of Colonel
Dipa?"
"But that wasn't the
worst." The Rani lowered her voice
to a horrified stage whisper. "One
of the mothers on the committee of guardianship - one of the mothers,
mind you - advised him to take a course of lessons."
"What sort of lessons?"
"In what they euphemistically call
Love." She wrinkled up her nose as
though she had smelt raw sewage.
"Lessons, if you please," and disgust turned into indignation,
"from some Older Woman."
"Heavens!" cried the
ambassador.
"Heavens!" Will dutifully
echoed. Those older women, he could see,
were competitors much more dangerous, in the Rani's eyes, than even the most
precociously promiscuous of girls. A mature instructress in love would be a
rival mother, enjoying the monstrously unfair advantage of being free to go to
the limits of incest.
"They teach ..." the Rani
hesitated. "They teach Special
Techniques."
"What sort of techniques?" Will
inquired.
But she couldn't bring herself to go into
the repulsive particulars. And anyhow it
wasn't necessary. For Murugan (bless his
heart!) had refused to listen to them.
Lessons in immorality from someone old enough to be his mother - the
very idea of it had made him sick. No
wonder. He had been brought up to
reverence the Ideal of Purity. "Bramacharya,
if you know what that means."
"Quite," said Will.
"And this is another reason why his
illness was such a blessing in disguise, such a real Godsend. I don't think I could have brought him
up that way in Pala. There are too many
bad influences here. Forces working
against Purity, against the Family, even against Mother Love."
Will pricked up his ears. "Did they even reform mothers?"
She nodded. "You just can't imagine how far things
have gone here. But Koot Hoomi knew what
kind of dangers we would have to run in Pala.
So what happens? My Baby falls
ill, and the doctors order us to Switzerland.
Out of Harm's way."
"How was it," Will asked,
"that Koot Hoomi let you go off on your Crusade? Didn't he foresee what would happen to
Murugan as soon as your back was turned?"
"He foresaw everything," said
the Rani. "The temptations, the
resistance, the massed assault by all the Powers of Evil, and then, at the very
last moment, the rescue. For a long
time," she explained, "Murugan didn't tell me what was
happening. But after three months the assaults
of the Powers of Evil were too much for him.
He dropped hints, but I was too completely absorbed in my Master's
business to be able to take them.
Finally he wrote me a letter in which it was all spelled out - in
detail. I cancelled my last four lectures
in Brazil and flew home as fast as the jets would carry me. A week later we were back in
Switzerland. Just my Baby and I - alone
with the Master."
She closed her eyes, and an expression of
gloating ecstasy appeared upon her face.
Will looked away in distaste.
This self-canonized world-saviour, this clutching and devouring mother -
had she ever, for a single moment, seen herself as others saw her? Did she have any idea of what she had done,
what she was still doing to her poor silly little son? To the first question the answer was
certainly no. About the second one could
only speculate. Perhaps she honestly
didn't know what she had made of the boy.
But perhaps, on the other hand, she did know. Knew and preferred what was happening with
the Colonel to what might happen if the boy's education were taken in hand by a
woman. The woman might supplant her; the
Colonel, she knew, would not.
"Murugan told me that he intended to
reform these so-called reforms."
"I can only pray," said the
Rani in a tone that reminded Will of his grandfather, the Archdeacon,
"that he'll be given the Strength and Wisdom to do it."
"And what do you think of his other
projects?" Will asked.
"Oil? Industries? An army?"
"Economics and politics aren't
exactly my strong point," she answered with a little laugh which was meant
to remind him that he was talking to someone who had taken the Fourth
Initiation. "Ask Bahu what he
thinks?""
"I have no right to offer an
opinion," said the ambassador.
"I'm an outsider, the representative of a foreign power."
"Not so very foreign," said the
Rani.
"Not in your eyes, ma'am. And not, as you know very well, in mine. But in the eyes of the Palanese government -
yes. Completely foreign."
"But that," said Will,
"doesn't prevent you from having opinions.
It only prevents you from having the locally orthodox opinions. And incidentally," he added, "I'm
not here in my professional capacity.
You're not being interviewed, Mr Ambassador. All this is strictly off the record."
"Strictly off the record, then, and
strictly as myself and not as an official personage, I believe that our young
friend is perfectly right."
"Which implies, of course, that you
believe the policy of the Palanese government to be perfectly wrong."
"Perfectly wrong," said Mr Bahu
- and the bony, emphatic mask of Savonarola positively twinkled with his
Voltairean smile - "perfectly wrong because all too perfectly right."
"Right?" the Rani
protested. "Right?"
"Perfectly right," he
explained, "because so perfectly designed to make every man, woman, and
child on this enchanting island as perfectly free and happy as it's possible to
be."
"But with a False Happiness,"
the Rani cried, "a freedom that's only for the Lower Self."
"I bow," said the ambassador,
duly bowing, "to Your Highness's superior insight. But still, high or low, true or false,
happiness is happiness and freedom is most enjoyable. And there can be no doubt that the policies
inaugurated by the original Reformers and developed over the years have been
admirably well adapted to achieving these two goals."
"But you feel," said Will,
"that these are undesirable goals?"
"On the contrary, everybody desires
them. But unfortunately they're out of
context, they've become completely irrelevant to the present situation of the
world in general and Pala in particular."
"Are they more irrelevant now than
they were when the Reformers first started to work for happiness and
freedom?"
The Ambassador nodded. "In those days, Pala was still
completely off the map. The idea of
turning it into an oasis of freedom and happiness made sense. So long as it remains out of touch with the
rest of the world, an ideal society can be a viable society. Pala was completely viable, I'd say, until
about 1905. Then, in less than a single
generation, the world completely changed.
Movies, cars, aeroplanes, radio.
Mass production, mass slaughter, mass communication and, above all,
plain mass - more and more people in bigger and bigger slums or suburbs. By 1930 any clear-sighted observer could have
seen that, for three-quarters of the human race, freedom and happiness were
almost out of the question. Today,
thirty years later, they're completely out of the question. And meanwhile the outside world has been
closing in on this little island of freedom and happiness. Closing in steadily and inexorably, coming
nearer and nearer. What was once a
viable ideal is now no longer viable."
"So Pala will have to be changed -
is that your conclusion?"
Mr Bahu nodded. "Radically."
"Root and branch," said the
Rani with a prophet's sadistic gusto.
"And for two cogent reasons,"
Mr Bahu went on. "First because it
simply isn't possible for Pala to go on being different from the rest of the
world. And, second, because it isn't
right that it should be different."
"Not right for people to be free and
happy?"
Once again the Rani said something
inspirational about false happiness and the wrong kind of freedom.
Mr Bahu deferentially acknowledged her
interruption, then turned back to Will.
"Not right," he insisted. "Flaunting your blessedness in the face
of so much misery - it's sheer hubris, it's a deliberate affront to the
rest of humanity. It's even a kind of
affront to God."
"God," the Rani murmured
voluptuously, "God ..."
Then, re-opening her eyes, "These
people in Pala," she added, "they don't believe in God. They only believe in Hypnotism and Pantheism
and Free Love." She emphasized the
words with indignant disgust.
"So now," said Will,
"you're proposing to make them miserable in the hope that this will
restore their faith in God. Well, that's
one way of producing a conversion. Maybe
it'll work. And maybe the end will
justify the means." He shrugged his
shoulders. "But I do see," he
added, "that, good or bad, and regardless of what the Palanese may feel
about it, this thing is going to happen.
One doesn't have to be much of a prophet to foretell that Murugan is
going to succeed. He's riding the wave
of the future. And the wave of the
future is undoubtedly a wave of crude petroleum. Talking of crudity and petroleum," he
added, turning to the Rani, "I understand that you're acquainted with my
old friend, Joe Aldehyde."
"You know Lord Aldehyde?"
"Well."
"So that's why my Little Voice
was so insistent!" Closing her eyes
again, she smiled to herself and slowly nodded her head. "Now I Understand." Then, in another tone, "How is that dear
man?" she said.
"Still characteristically
himself," Will assured her.
"And what a rare self!" L'homme au cerf-volant - that's what I
call him."
"The man with the kite?" Will was puzzled.
"He does his work down here,"
she explained; "but he holds a string in his hand, and at the other end of
the string is a kite, and the kite is forever trying to go higher, higher,
Higher. Even while he's at work, he
feels the constant Pull from Above, feels the Spirit tugging insistently at the
flesh. Think of it! A man of affairs, a great Captain of Industry
- and yet, for him, the only thing that Really Matters is the Immortality of
the Soul"
Light dawned. The woman had been talking about Joe
Aldehyde's addiction to Spiritualism. He
thought of those weekly séances with Mrs Harbottle, the automatist; with Mrs
Pym, whose control was a Kiowa Indian called Bawbo; with Miss Tuke and her
floating trumpet out of which a squeaky whisper uttered oracular words that
were taken down in shorthand by Joe's private secretary: "Buy
Australian cement; don't be alarmed by the fall in Breakfast Foods;
unload forty per cent of your rubber shares and invest the money in IBM and
Westinghouse ..."
"Did he ever tell you," Will
asked, "about that departed stockbroker, who always knew what the market
was going to do next week?"
"Sidhis," said the Rani
indulgently. "Just sidhis. What else can you expect? After all, he's only a Beginner. And in this present life business is his karma. He was predestined to do what he's done, what
he's doing, what he's going to do. And
what he's going to do," she added impressively and paused in a listening
pose, her finger lifted, her head cocked, "what he's going to do - that's
what my Little Voice is saying - includes some great and wonderful things here
in Pala."
"What a spiritual way of saying,
'This is what I want to happen! Not as I
will but as God wills - and by a happy coincidence God's will and mine are
always identical.'" Will chuckled
inwardly, but kept the straightest of faces.
"Does your Little Voice say anything
about South-East Asia Petroleum?" he asked.
The Rani listened again, then
nodded. "Distinctly."
"But Colonel Dipa, I gather, doesn't
say anything but 'Standard of California'.
Incidentally," Will went on, "why does Pala have to worry
about the Colonel's taste in oil companies?"
"My government," said Mr Bahu sonorously,
"is thinking in terms of a Five-Year Plan for Inter-Island Economic
Co-ordination and Co-operation."
"Does Inter-Island Co-ordination and
Co-operation mean that Standard has to be granted a monopoly?"
"Only if Standard's terms were more
advantageous than those of its competitors."
"In other words," said the
Rani, "only if there's nobody who will pay us more."
"Before you came," Will told
her, "I was discussing this subject with Murugan. South-East Asia Petroleum, I said, will give
Pala whatever Standard gives Rendang plus a little more."
"Fifteen per cent more?"
"Let's say ten."
"Make it twelve and a half."
Will looked at her admiringly. For someone who had taken the Fourth
Initiation she was doing pretty well.
"Joe Aldehyde will scream with
agony," he said. "But in the
end, I feel certain, you'll get your twelve and a half."
"It would certainly be a most
attractive proposition," said Mr Bahu.
"The only trouble is that the
Palanese government won't accept it."
"The Palanese government," said
the Rani, "will soon be changing its policy."
"You think so?"
"I KNOW it," the Rani answered
in a tone that made it quite clear that the information had come straight from
the Master's mouth.
"When he change of policy comes,
would it help," Will asked, "if Colonel Dipa were to put in a good
word for South-East Asia Petroleum?"
"Undoubtedly."
Will turned to Mr Bahu. "And would you be prepared, Mr
Ambassador, to put in a good word with Colonel Dipa?"
In polysyllables, as though he were
addressing a plenary session of some
international organization, Mr Bahu hedged diplomatically. On the one hand, yes; but on the other hand,
no. From one point of view, white; but
from a different angle, distinctly black.
Will listened in polite silence. Behind the mask of Savonarola, behind the
aristocratic monocle, behind the ambassadorial verbiage he could see and hear
the Levantine broker in quest of his commission, the petty official cadging for
a gratuity. And for her enthusiastic
sponsorship of South-East Asia Petroleum, how much had the royal initiate been
promised? Something, he was prepared to
bet, pretty substantial. Not for
herself, of course, no, no! For
the Crusade of the Spirit, needless to say, for the greater glory of Koot
Hoomi.
Mr Bahu reached the peroration of his
speech to the international organization.
"It must therefore be understood," he was saying, "that
any positive action on my part must remain contingent upon circumstances, as,
when and if these circumstances arise.
Do I make myself clear?"
"Perfectly," Will assured
him. "And now," he went on
with deliberately indecent frankness, "let me explain my position in this
matter. All I'm interested in is
money. Two thousand pounds without
having to do a hand's turn of work. A year
of freedom just for helping Joe Aldehyde to get his hands on Pala."
"Lord Aldehyde," said the Rani,
"is remarkably generous."
"Remarkably," Will agreed,
"considering how little I can do in this matter. Needless to say, he'd be still more generous
to anyone who could be of greater help."
There was a long silence. In the distance a mynah bird was calling
monotonously for attention. Attention to
avarice, attention to hypocrisy, attention to vulgar cynicism ... There was a
knock at the door.
"Come in," Will called out and,
turning to Mr Bahu, "Let's continue this conversation some other
time," he said.
Mr Bahu nodded.
"Come in," Will repeated.
Dressed in a blue skirt and a short
buttonless jacket that left her midriff bare and only sometimes covered a pair
of apple-round breasts, a girl in her late teens walked briskly into the
room. On her smooth brown face a smile
of friendliest greeting was punctuated at either end by dimples. "I'm Nurse Appu," she began. "Radha Appu." Then, catching sight of Will's visitors, she
broke off. "Of, excuse me, I didn't
know ..."
She made a perfunctory Knicks to
the Rani.
Mr Bahu, meanwhile, had courteously risen
to his feet. "Nurse Appu," he
cried enthusiastically. "My little
ministering angel from the Shivapuram hospital.
What a delightful surprise!"
For the girl, it was evident to Will, the
surprise was far from delightful."
"How do you do, Mr Bahu," she
said without a smile and, quickly turning away, started to busy herself with
the straps of the canvas bag she was carrying.
"Your Highness has probably
forgotten," said Mr Bahu; "but I had to have an operation last
summer. For hernia," he
specified. "Well, this young lady
used to come and wash me every morning.
Punctually at eight-forty-five.
And now, after having vanished for all these months, here she is
again!"
"Synchronicity," said the Rani
oracularly. "It's all part of the
Plan."
"I'm supposed to give Mr Farnaby an
injection," said the little nurse looking up, still unsmiling, from her
professional bag.
"Doctor's orders are doctor's
orders," cried the Rani, over-acting the role of royal personage designing
to be playfully gracious. "To hear
is to obey. But where's my
chauffeur?"
"Your chauffeur's here," called
a familiar voice.
Beautiful as a vision of Ganymede,
Murugan was standing in the doorway. A
look of amusement appeared on the little nurse's face.
"Hello, Murugan - I mean, Your
Highness." She bobbed another
curtsey which he was free to take as a mark of respect or of ironic mockery.
"Oh hullo, Radha," said the boy
in a tone that was meant to be distinctly casual. He walked past her to where his mother was
sitting. "The car," he said, "is
at the door. Or rather the so-called
car." With a sarcastic laugh,
"It's a Baby Austin, 1954 vintage," he explained to Will. "The best thing that this highly
civilized country can provide for its royal family. Rendang gives its ambassador a Bentley,"
he added bitterly.
"Which will be calling for me at
this address in about ten minutes," said Mr Bahu, looking at his
watch. "So may I be permitted to
take leave of you here, Your Highness?"
The Rani extended her hand. With all the piety of a good Catholic kissing
a Cardinal's ring, he bent over it; then, straightening himself up, he turned
to Will.
"I'm assuming - perhaps
unjustifiably - that Mr Farnaby can put up with me for a little longer. May I stay?"
Will assured the ambassador that he would
be delighted.
"And I hope," said Mr Bahu to
the little nurse, "that there will be no objections on medical
grounds?"
"Not on medical grounds," said
the girl in a tone that implied the existence of the most cogent non-medical
objections.
Assisted by Murugan, the Rani hoisted
herself out of her chair. "Au
revoir, mon cher Farnaby," she said as she gave him her jewelled
hand. Her smile was charged with a
sweetness that Will found positively menacing.
"Good-bye, ma'am."
She turned, patted the little nurse's
cheek and sailed out of the room. Like a
pinnace in the wake of a full-rigged ship of the line, Murugan trailed after
her.
CHAPTER SIX
"Golly!"
the little nurse exploded, when the door was safely closed behind them.
"I entirely agree with you,"
said Will.
The Voltairean light twinkled for a
moment on Mr Bahu's evangelical face.
"Golly," he repeated.
"It was what I heard an English schoolboy saying when he first saw
the Great Pyramid. The Rani makes the
same kind of impression.
Monumental. She's what the
Germans call eine grosse Seele."
The twinkle had faded, the face was unequivocally Savonarola's, the
words, it was obvious, were for publication.
The little nurse suddenly started to
laugh.
"What's so funny?" Will asked.
"I suddenly saw the Great Pyramid
all dressed up in white muslin," she gasped. "Dr Robert calls it the mystic's
uniform."
"Witty, very witty!" said Mr
Bahu. "And yet," he added
diplomatically, "I don't know why mystics shouldn't wear uniforms, if they
feel like it."
The little nurse drew a deep breath,
wiped the tears of merriment from her eyes and began to make her preparations
for giving the patient his injection.
"I know exactly what you're
thinking," she said to Will.
"You're thinking I'm too young to do a good job."
"I certainly think you're very
young."
"You people go to a University at
eighteen and stay there for four years.
We start at sixteen and go on with our education till we're twenty-four
- half-time study and half-time work.
I've been doing biology and at the same time doing this job for two
years. So I'm not quite such a fool as I
look. Actually I'm a pretty good
nurse."
"A statement," said Mr Bahu,
"which I can unequivocally confirm.
Miss Radha is not merely a good nurse; she's an absolutely first-rate
one."
But what he really meant, Will felt sure
as he studied the expression on that face of a much-tempted monk, was that Miss
Radha had a first-rate midriff, first-rate navel, and first-rate breasts. But the owner of the navel, midriff, and
breasts had clearly resented Savonarola's admiration, or at any rate the way it
had been expressed. Hopefully,
over-hopefully, the rebuffed ambassador was returning to the attack.
The spirit lamp was lighted and, while
the needle was being boiled, little Nurse Appu took her patient's temperature.
"Ninety-nine point two."
"Does that mean I have to be
banished?" Mr Bahu inquired.
"Not so far as he's concerned,"
the girl answered.
"So please stay," said Will.
The little nurse gave him his injection
of antibiotic, then, from one of the bottles in her bag, stirred a
tablespoonful of some greenish liquid into half a glass of water.
"Drink this."
It tasted like one of those herbal
concoctions that health-food enthusiasts substitute for tea.
"What is it?" Will asked, and was
told that it was an extract from a mountain plant related to valerian.
"It helps people to stop
worrying," the little nurse explained, "without making them
sleepy. We give it to
convalescents. It's useful, too, in
mental cases."
"Which am I! Mental or convalescent?"
"Both," she answered without
hesitation.
Will laughed aloud. "That's what comes of fishing for
compliments."
"I didn't mean to be rude," she
assured him. "All I meant was that
I've never met anybody from the outside who wasn't a mental case."
"Including the Ambassador?"
She turned the question back upon the
questioner. "What do you
think?"
Will passed it on to Mr Bahu. "You're the expert in this field,"
he said.
"Settle it between yourselves,"
said the little nurse. "I've got to
go and see about my patient's lunch."
Mr Bahu watched her go; then, raising his
left eyebrow, he let fall his monocle and started methodically to polish the
lens with his handkerchief. "You're
aberrated in one way," he said to Will.
"I'm aberrated in another. A
schizoid (isn't that what you are?) and, from the other side of the world, a
paranoid. Both of us victims of the same
twentieth-century plague. Not the Black
Death, this time; the Grey Life. Were
you ever interested in power?" he asked after a moment's silence.
"Never," Will shook his head
emphatically. "One can't have power
without committing oneself."
"And for you the horror of being
committed outweighs the pleasure of pushing other people around?"
"By a factor of several thousand
times."
"So it was never a temptation?"
"Never." Then after a pause, "Let's get down to
business," Will added in another tone.
"To business," Mr Bahu
repeated. "Tell me something about
Lord Aldehyde?"
"Well, as the Rani said, he's
remarkably generous."
"I'm not interested in his virtues,
only his intelligence. How bright is
he?"
"Bright enough to know that nobody
does anything for nothing."
"Good," said Mr Bahu. "Then tell him from me that for
effective work by experts in strange positions he must be prepared to lay out
at least ten times what he's going to pay you."
"I'll write him a letter to that
effect."
"And do it today," Mr Bahu
advised. "The plane leaves
Shivapuram tomorrow evening, and there won't be another out-going mail for a
whole week."
"Thank you for telling me,"
said Will. "And now - Her Highness
and the shockable stripling being gone - let's move on to the next
temptation. What about sex?"
With the gesture of a man who tries to
rid himself of a cloud of importunate insects, Mr Bahu waved a brown and bony
hand back and forth in front of his face.
"Just a distraction, that's all.
Just a nagging, humiliating vexation.
But an intelligent man can always cope with it."
"How difficult it is," said
Will, "to understand another man's vices!"
"You're right. Everybody should stick to the insanity that
God has seen fit to curse him with. Pecca
fortiter - that was Luther's advice.
But make a point of sinning your own sins, not someone else's. And above all don't do what the people of the
island do. Don't try to behave as though
you were essentially sane and naturally good.
We're all demented sinners in the same cosmic boat - and the boat is
perpetually sinking."
"In spite of which, no rat is
justified in leaving it. Is that what
you're saying?"
"A few of them may sometimes try to
leave. But they never get very far. History and the other rats will always see to
it that they drown with the rest of us.
That's why Pala doesn't have a ghost of a chance."
Carrying a tray, the little nurse
re-entered the room.
"Buddhist food," she said, as
she tied a napkin round Will's neck.
"All except the fish. But
we've decided that fishes are vegetables within the meaning of the act."
Will started to eat.
"Apart from the Rani and Murugan and
us two here," he asked after swallowing the first mouthful, "how many
people from the outside have you ever met?"
"Well, there was that group of
American doctors," she answered.
"They came to Shivapuram last year, while I was working at the
Central Hospital."
"What were they doing here?"
"They wanted to find out why we have
such a low rate of neurosis and cardiovascular trouble. Those doctors!" She shook her head. "I tell you, Mr Farnaby, they really
made my hair stand on end - made everybody's hair stand on end in the whole
hospital."
"So you think our medicine's pretty
primitive?"
"That's the wrong word. It isn't primitive. It's fifty per cent terrific and fifty per
cent non-existent. Marvellous
antibiotics - but absolutely no methods for increasing resistance, so that
antibiotics won't be necessary.
Fantastic operations - but when it comes to teaching people the way of
going through life without having to be chopped up, absolutely nothing. And it's the same all along the line. Alpha Plus for patching you up when you've
started to fall apart; but Delta Minus for keeping you healthy. Apart from sewage systems and synthetic
vitamins, you don't seem to do anything at all about prevention. And yet you've got a proverb: prevention is
better than cure."
"But cure," said Will, "is
so much more dramatic than prevention.
And for the doctors it's also a lot more profitable."
"Maybe for your doctors," said
the little nurse. "Not for
ours. Ours get paid for keeping people
well."
"How is it done?"
"We've been asking that question for
a hundred years, and we've found a lot of answers. Chemical answers, psychological answers,
answers in terms of what you eat, how you make love, what you see and hear, how
you feel about being who you are in this kind of world."
"And which are the best
answers?"
"None of them is best without the
others."
"So there's no panacea."
"How can there be?" And she quoted the little rhyme that every
student nurse had to learn by heart on the first day of her training.
"'I' am a crowd, obeying as many laws
As it has members. Chemically impure
Are all 'my' beings. There's no single cure
For what can never have a single cause.
So
whether it's prevention or whether it's cure, we attack on all the fronts at
once. All the fronts," she
insisted, "from diet to auto-suggestion, from negative ions to
meditation."
"Very sensible," was Will's
comment.
"Perhaps a little too
sensible," said Mr Bahu. "Did
you ever try to talk sense to a maniac?"
Will shook his head. "I did
once." He lifted the greying lock
that slanted obliquely across his forehead.
Just below the hair-line a jagged scar stood out, strangely pale against
the brown skin. "Luckily for me,
the bottle he hit me with was pretty flimsy." Smoothing his ruffled hair, he turned to the
little nurse. "Don't ever forget,
Miss Radha: to the senseless nothing is more maddening than sense. Pala is a small island completely surrounded
by twenty-nine hundred million mental cases.
So beware of being too rational.
In the country of the insane, the integrated man doesn't become
king." Mr Bahu's face was
positively twinkling with Voltairean glee.
"He gets lynched."
Will laughed perfunctorily, then turned
again to the little nurse.
"Don't you have any candidates for
the asylum?" he asked.
"Just as many as you have - I mean
in proportion to the population. At
least that's what the textbook says."
"So living in a sensible world
doesn't seem to make any difference."
"Not to people with the kind of
body-chemistry that'll turn them into psychotics. They're born vulnerable. Little troubles that other people hardly
notice can bring them down. We're just
beginning to find out what it is that makes them so vulnerable. We're beginning to be able to spot them in
advance of a breakdown. And once they've
been spotted, we can do something to raise their resistance. Prevention again - and, of course, on all the
fronts at once."
"So being born into a sensible world
will make a difference even for the predestined psychotic."
"And for the neurotics it has
already made a difference. Your neurosis
rate is about one in five or even four.
Ours is about one in twenty. The
one that breaks down gets treatment, on all fronts, and the nineteen who don't
break down have had prevention on all fronts.
Which brings me back to those American doctors. Three of them were psychiatrists, and one of
the psychiatrists smoked cigars without stopping and had a German accent. He was the one that was chosen to give us a
lecture. What a lecture!" The little nurse held her head between her
hands. "I never heard anything like
it."
"What was it about?"
"About the way they treat people
with neurotic symptoms. We just couldn't
believe our ears. They never
attack on all the fronts; they only attack on about half of one front. So far as they're concerned, the physical
fronts don't exist. Except for a mouth
and an anus, their patient doesn't have a body.
He isn't an organism, he wasn't born with a constitution or a
temperament. All he has is the two ends
of a digestive tube, a family and a psyche.
But what sort of psyche?
Obviously not the whole mind, not the mind as it really is. How could it be that when they take no
account of a person's anatomy, or biochemistry or physiology? Mind abstracted from body - that's the only
front they attack on. And not even on
the whole of that front. The man with
the cigar kept talking about the unconscious.
But the only unconscious they ever pay attention to is the negative
unconscious, the garbage that people have tried to get rid of by burying it in
the basement. Not a single word about
the positive unconscious. No attempt to
help the patient to open himself up to the life form or the Buddha Nature. And no attempt even to teach him to be a
little more conscious in his everyday life.
You know: 'Here and now, boys,' 'Attention.'" She gave an imitation of the mynah
birds. "These people just leave the
unfortunate neurotic to wallow in his old bad habits of never being all there
in present time. The whole thing is pure
idiocy! No, the man with the cigar
didn't even have that excuse; he was as clever as clever can be. So it's not idiocy. It must be something voluntary, something
self-induced - like getting drunk, or talking yourself into believing some
piece of foolishness because it happens to be in the Scriptures. And then look at their idea of what's normal. Believe it or not, a normal human being is
one who can have an orgasm and is adjusted to his society." Once again the little nurse held her head
between her hands. "It's
unimaginable! No question about what you
do with your orgasms. No question about
the quality of your feelings and thoughts and perceptions. And then what about the society you're
supposed to be adjusted to? Is it a mad
society or a sane one? And even if it's
pretty sane, is it right that anybody should be completely adjusted to
it?"
With another of his twinkling smiles,
"Those whom God would destroy," said the Ambassador, "He first
makes mad. Or alternatively, and perhaps
even more effectively, He first makes them sane." Mr Bahu rose and walked to the window. "My car has come for me. I must be getting back to Shivapuram and my
desk." He turned to Will and
treated him to a long and flowery farewell.
Then, switching off the ambassador, "Don't forget to write that
letter," he said. "It's very
important." He smiled
conspiratorially and, passing his thumb back and forth across the first two
fingers of his right hand, he counted out invisible money.
"Thank goodness," said the
little nurse when he had gone.
"What was his offence?" Will
inquired. "The usual thing?"
"Offering money to someone you want
to go to bed with - but she doesn't like you.
So you offer more. Is that usual
where he comes from?"
"Profoundly usual," Will
assured her.
"Well, I didn't like it."
"So I could see. And here's another question. What about Murugan?"
"What makes you ask?"
"Curiosity. I noticed that you'd met before. Was that when he was here two years ago
without his mother?"
"How did you know about that?"
"A little bird told me - or rather
an extremely massive bird."
"The Rani! She must have made it sound like Sodom and
Gomorrah."
"But unfortunately I was spared the
lurid details. Dark hints - that was all
she gave me. Hints, for example, about
veteran Messalinas giving lessons in love to innocent young boys."
"And did he need those
lessons!"
"Hints, too, about a precocious and
promiscuous girl of his own age."
Nurse Appu burst out laughing.
"Did you know her?"
"The precocious and promiscuous girl
was me."
"You? Does the Rani know it?"
"Murugan only gave her the facts,
not the names. For which I'm very
grateful. You see, I'd behaved pretty
badly. Losing my head about someone I
didn't really love and hurting someone I did.
Why is one so stupid?"
"The heart has its reasons,"
said Will, "and the endocrines have theirs."
There was a long silence. He finished the last of his cold boiled fish
and vegetables. Nurse Appu handed him a
plate of fruit salad.
"You've never seen Murugan in white
satin pyjamas," she said.
"Have I missed something?"
"You've no idea how beautiful he
looks in white satin pyjamas. Nobody has
any right to be so beautiful. It's
indecent. It's taking an unfair
advantage."
It was the sight of him in those white
satin pyjamas from Sulka that had finally made her lose her head. Lose it so completely that for two months she
had been someone else - an idiot who had gone chasing after a person who
couldn't bear her and had turned her back on the person who had always loved
her, the person she herself had always loved.
"Did you get anywhere with the
pyjama boy?" Will asked.
"As far as a bed," she
answered. "But when I started to
kiss him, he jumped out from between the sheets and locked himself into the
bathroom. He wouldn't come out until I'd
passed his pyjamas through the transom and given him my word of honour that he
wouldn't be molested. I can laugh about
it now; but at the time, I tell you, at the time ...” She shook her head. "Pure tragedy. They must have guessed, from the way I
carried on, what had happened.
Precocious and promiscuous girls, it was obvious, were no good. What he needed was regular lessons."
"And the rest of the story I
know," said Will. "Boy writes
to mother, mother flies home and whisks him off to Switzerland."
"And they didn't come back until
about six months ago. And for at least
half of that time they were in Rendang, staying with Murugan's aunt."
Will was on the point of mentioning
Colonel Dipa, then remembered that he had promised Murugan to be discreet and
said nothing.
From the garden came the sound of a
whistle.
"Excuse me," said the little
nurse and went to the window. Smiling
happily at what she saw, she waved her hand.
"It's Ranga."
"Who's Ranga?"
That friend of mine I was talking
about. He wants to ask you some
questions. May he come in for a
minute?"
"Of course."
She turned back to the window and made a
beckoning gesture.
"That means, I take it, that the
white satin pyjamas are completely out of the picture."
She nodded. "It was only a one-act tragedy. I found my head almost as quickly as I'd lost
it. And when I'd found it, there was
Ranga, the same as ever, waiting for me."
The door swung open and a lanky young man in gym shoes and khaki shorts
came into the room.
"Ranga Karakuran," he announced
as he shook Will's hand.
"If you'd come five minutes
earlier," said Radha, "you'd have had the pleasure of meeting Mr
Bahu."
"Was he here?" Ranga made a grimace of disgust.
"Is he as bad as all that?"
Will asked.
Ranga listed the indictments. "A: He
hates us. B: He's Colonel Dipa's tame
jackal. C: He's the unofficial
ambassador of all the oil companies. D:
The old pig made passes at Radha, and E: He goes about giving lectures about
the need for a religious revival. He's
even published a book about it. Complete
with a preface by someone at the Harvard Divinity School. It's all part of the campaign against
Palanese independence. God is Dipa's
alibi. Why can't criminals be frank
about what they're up to? All this
disgusting idealistic hogwash - it makes one vomit."
Radha stretched out her hand and gave his
ears three sharp tweaks.
"You little ..." he began
angrily; then broke off and laughed.
"You're quite right," he said.
"All the same, you didn't have to pull quite so hard."
"Is that what you always do when he
gets worked up?" Will inquired of Radha.
"Whenever he gets worked up at the
wrong moment, or over things he can't do anything about."
Will turned to the boy. "And do you ever have to tweak her
ear?"
Ranga laughed. "I find it more satisfactory," he
said, "to smack her bottom.
Unfortunately, she rarely needs it."
"Does that mean she's better
balanced than you are?"
"Better balanced? I tell you, she's abnormally sane."
"Whereas you're merely normal?"
"Maybe a little left of
centre." He shook his head. "I get horribly depressed sometimes - feel
I'm no good for anything."
"Whereas in fact," said Radha,
"he's so good that they've given him a scholarship to study biochemistry
at the University of Manchester."
"What do you do with him when he
plays these despairing miserable-sinner tricks on you? Pull his ears?"
"That," she said, "and ...
well, other things." She looked at
Ranga and Ranga looked at her. Then they
both burst out laughing.
"Quite," said Will. "Quite.
And these other things being what they are," he went on, "is Ranga looking forward to the
prospect of leaving Pala for a couple of years?"
"Not much," Ranga admitted.
"But he has to go," said Radha
firmly.
"And when he gets there," Will
wondered, "is he going to be happy?"
"That's what I wanted to ask
you," said Ranga.
"Well, you won't like the climate,
you won't like the food, you won't like the noises or the smells or the
architecture. But you'll almost
certainly like the work and you'll probably find that you can like quite a lot of
the people."
"What about the girls?" Radha
inquired.
"How do you want me to answer that
question?" Will asked.
"Consolingly, or truthfully?"
"Truthfully."
"Well, my dear, the truth is that
Ranga will be a wild success. Dozens of
girls are going to find him irresistible.
And some of those girls will be charming. How will you feel if he can't
resist?"
"I'll be glad for his sake."
Will turned to Ranga. "And will you be glad if she consoles
herself, while you're away, with another boy?"
"I'd like to be," he said. "But whether I actually shall be glad -
that's another question."
"Will you make her promise to be
faithful?"
"I won't make her promise
anything."
"Even though she's your girl?"
"She's her own girl."
"And Ranga's his own boy," said
the little nurse. "He's free to do
what he likes."
Will thought of Bab's strawberry-pink
alcove and laughed ferociously.
"And free above all," he said, "to do what he doesn't
like." He looked from one young face
to the other and saw that he was being eyed with a certain astonishment. In another tone and with a different kind of
smile, "But I'd forgotten," he added.
"One of you is abnormally sane and the other is only a little left
of centre. So how can you be expected to
understand what this mental case from the outside is talking about?" And without leaving them time to answer his
question, "Tell me," he asked, "how long is it ...” He broke
off. "But perhaps I'm being indiscreet. If so, just tell me to mind my own
business. But I would like to
know, just as a matter of anthropological interest, how long you two have been
friends?"
"Do you mean 'friends'?" asked
the little nurse. "Or do you mean
'lovers'?"
"Why not both, while we're about
it?"
"Well, Ranga and I have been friends
since we were babies. And we've been lovers
- except for that miserable white pyjama episode - since I was fifteen and a
half and he was seventeen - just about two and a half years."
"And nobody objected?"
"Why should they?"
"Why indeed," Will echoed. "But the fact remains that, in my part
of the world, practically everybody would have objected."
"What about other boys?" Ranga
asked.
"In theory they were even more out
of bounds than girls. In practice ...
Well, you can guess what happens when five or six hundred male adolescents are
cooped up together in a boarding school.
Does that sort of thing ever go on here?"
"Of course."
"I'm surprised."
"Surprised? Why?"
"Seeing that girls aren't out of
bounds."
"But one kind of love doesn't
exclude the other."
"And are both legitimate?"
"Naturally."
"So that nobody would have minded if
Murugan had been interested in another pyjama boy?"
"Not if it was a good sort of
relationship."
"But unfortunately," said
Radha, "the Rani had done such a thorough job that he couldn't be
interested in anyone but her - and, of course, himself."
"No boys?"
"Maybe now. I don't know.
All I know is that in my day there was nobody in his universe. No boys and, still more emphatically, no girls. Only Mother and masturbation and the Ascended
Masters. Only jazz records and sports
cars and Hitlerian ideas about being a Great Leader and turning Pala into what
he calls a Modern State."
"Three weeks ago," said Ranga,
"he and the Rani were at the palace, in Shivapuram. They invited a group of us from the University
to come and listen to Murugan's ideas - on oil, on industrialization, on
television, on armaments, on the Crusade of the Spirit."
"Did he make any converts?"
Ranga shook his head. "Why would anyone want to exchange
something rich and good and endlessly interesting for something bad and thin
and boring? We don't feel any need for
your speedboats or your television.
Still less for your wars and revolutions, your revivals, your political
slogans, your metaphysical nonsense from Rome and Moscow. Did you hear of Maithuna?" he
asked.
"Maithuna? What's that?"
"Let's start with the historical
background," Ranga answered; and with the engaging pedantry of an
undergraduate delivering a lecture about matters which he himself had only
lately heard of, he launched forth.
"Buddhism came to Pala about twelve hundred years ago, and it came
not from Ceylon [Sri Lanka], which is what one would have expected, but from
Bengal, and through Bengal, later on, from Tibet. Result: we're Mahayanists, and our Buddhism
is shot through and through with Tantra.
Do you know what Tantra is?"
Will had to admit that he had only the
haziest notion.
"And to tell the truth," said
Ranga, with a laugh that broke irrepressibly through the crust of his pedantry,
"I don't really know much more than you do. Tantra's an enormous subject and most of it,
I guess, is just silliness and superstition - not worth bothering about. But there's a hard core of sense. If you're a Tantrik, you don't renounce the
world or deny its value; you don't try to escape into a Nirvana apart from
life, as the monks of the Southern School do.
No, you accept the world, and you make use of it; you make use of
everything you do, of everything that happens to you, of all the things you see
and hear and taste and touch, as so many means to your liberation from the
prison of yourself."
"Good talk," said Will in a
tone of polite scepticism.
"And something more besides,"
Ranga insisted. "That's the
difference," he added - and youthful pedantry modulated the eagerness of
youthful proselytism, "that's the difference between your philosophy and
ours. Western philosophers, even the
best of them - they're nothing more than good talkers. Eastern philosophers are often rather bad
talkers, but that doesn't matter. Talk
isn't the point. Their philosophy is
pragmatic and operational. Like the
philosophy of modern physics - except that the operations in question are
psychological and the results transcendental.
Your metaphysicians make statements about the nature of man and the
universe; but they don't offer the reader any way of testing the truth of those
statements. When we make
statements, we follow them up with a list of operations that can be used for
testing the validity of what we've been saying.
For example, Tat tvam asi, 'thou art That' - the heart of all our
philosophy. Tat tvam asi,"
he repeated. "It looks like a
proposition in metaphysics; but what it actually refers to is a psychological
experience, and the operations by means of which the experience can be lived
through are described by our philosophers, so that anyone who's willing to
perform the necessary operations can test the validity of Tat tvam asi
for himself. The operations are called
yoga, or dhyana, or Zen - or, in certain special circumstances, maithuna."
"Which brings us back to my original
question. What is maithuna?"
"Maybe you'd better ask Radha."
Will turned to the little nurse. "What is it?"
"Maithuna," she answered
gravely, "is the yoga of love."
"Sacred or profane?"
"There's no difference."
"That's the whole point, "Ranga
put in. "When you do maithuna,
profane love is sacred love."
"Buddhatvan yoshidyonisansritan,"
the girl quoted.
"None of your Sanskrit! What does it mean?"
"How would you translate Buddhatvan,
Ranga?"
"Buddhaness, Buddheity, the quality
of being enlightened."
Radha nodded and turned back to
Will. "It means the Buddhaness is
in the yoni."
"In the yoni?" Will remembered those little stone emblems of
the Eternal Feminine that he had bought, as presents for the girls at the
office, from a hunchbacked vendor of bondieuseries at Benares. Eight annas for a black yoni; twelve
for the still more sacred image of the yoni-lingam. "Literally in the yoni?" he
asked. "Or metaphorically."
"What a ridiculous question!"
said the little nurse, and she laughed her clear unaffected laugh of pure
amusement. "Do you think we make
love metaphorically? Buddhatvan
yoshidyonisansritan," she repeated.
"It couldn't be more completely and absolutely literal."
"Did you ever hear of the Oneida
Community?" Ranga now asked.
Will nodded. He had known an American historian who
specialized in nineteenth-century communities.
"But why do you know about it?" he asked.
"Because it's mentioned in all our
textbooks of applied philosophy.
Basically, maithuna is the same as what the Oneida people called
Male Continence. And that was the same
as what Roman Catholics mean by coitus reservatus."
"Reservatus," the little
nurse repeated. "It always makes me
want to laugh. 'Such a reserved
young man!'" The dimples reappeared
and there was a flash of white teeth.
"Don't be silly," said Ranga
severely. "This is serious."
She expressed her contrition. But 'reservatus'
was really too funny.
"In a word," Will concluded, "it's
just birth control without contraceptives."
"But that's only the beginning of
the story," said Ranga. "Maithuna
is also something else. Something
even more important." The
undergraduate pedant had reasserted himself.
"Remember," he went on earnestly, "remember the point
that Freud was always harping on."
"Which point? There were so many."
"The point about the sexuality of
children. What we're born with, what we
experience all through infancy and childhood, is a sexuality that isn't
concentrated on the genitals; it's a sexuality diffused throughout the whole
organism. That's the paradise we
inherit. But the paradise gets lost as
the child grows up. Maithuna is
the organized attempt to regain that paradise." He turned to Radha. "You've got a good memory," he
said. "What's that phrase of
Spinoza's that they quote in the applied philosophy book?"
"'Make the body capable of doing
many things,'" she recited.
"'This will help you to perfect the
mind and so to come to the intellectual love of God.'"
"Hence all the yogas," said
Ranga. "Including maithuna."
"And it's a real yoga," the
girl insisted. "As good as raja
yoga, or karma yoga, or bhakti yoga. In
fact, a great deal better, so far as most people are concerned. Maithuna really gets them there."
"What's 'there'?" Will asked.
"'There' is where you know."
"Know what?"
"Know who in fact you are - and
believe it or not," she added, "Tat tvam asi - thou art That,
and so am I; That is me." The
dimples came to life, the teeth flashed.
"And That's also him."
She pointed at Ranga.
"Incredible, isn't it?"
She stuck out her tongue at him. "And
yet it's a fact."
Ranga smiled, reached out and with an
extended forefinger touched the tip of her nose. "And not merely a fact," he
said. "A revealed truth." He gave the nose a little tap. "A revealed truth," he
repeated. "So mind your P's and
Q's, young woman."
"What I'm wondering," said
Will, "is why we aren't all enlightened - I mean, if it's just a question
of making love with a rather special kind of technique. What's the answer to that?"
"I'll tell you," Ranga began.
But the girl cut him short. "Listen," she said,
"listen!"
Will listened. Faint and far off, but still distinct, he
heard the strange inhuman voice that had first welcomed him to Pala. "Attention," it was saying. "Attention. Attention ..."
"That bloody bird again!"
"But that's the secret."
"Attention? But a moment ago you were saying it was
something else. What about that young
man who's so reserved?"
"That's just to make it easier to
pay attention."
"And it does make it
easier," Ranga confirmed. "And
that's the whole point of maithuna.
It's not the special technique that turns love-making into yoga; it's
the kind of awareness that the technique makes possible. Awareness of one's sensations and awareness
of the not-sensation in every sensation."
"What's a not-sensation?"
"It's the raw material for sensation
that my not-self provides me with."
"And you can pay attention to your
not-self?"
"Of course."
Will turned to the little nurse. "You too?"
"To myself," she answered,
"and at the same time to my not-self.
And to Ranga's not-self, and to Ranga's self, and to Ranga's body, and
to my body and everything it's feeling.
And to all the love and the friendship.
And to the mystery of the other person - the perfect stranger, who's the
other half of your own self, and the same as your not-self. And all the while one's paying attention to
all the things that, if one were sentimental, or worse, if one were spiritual
like the poor old Rani, one would find so unromantic and gross and sordid
even. But they aren't when one's fully
aware of them, those things that are just as beautiful as all the rest, just as
wonderful."
"Maithuna is dhyana,"
Ranga concluded. A new word, he
evidently felt, would explain everything.
"But what is dhyana?"
Will asked.
"Dhyana is
contemplation."
"Contemplation."
Will thought of that strawberry-pink
alcove above the Charing Cross Road.
Contemplation was hardly the word he would have chosen. And yet even there, on second thoughts, even
there he had found a kind of deliverance.
Those alienations in the changing light of Porter's Gin were alienations
from his odious daytime self. They were
also, unfortunately, alienations from all the rest of his being - alienations
from love, from intelligence, from common decency, from all consciousness but
that of an excruciating frenzy by corpse-light or in the rosy glow of the
cheapest, vulgarest illusion. He looked
again at Radha's shining face. What
happiness! What a manifest conviction,
not of the sin that Mr Bahu was so determined to make the world safe for, but
of its serene and blissful opposite! It
was profoundly touching. But he refused
to be touched. Noli me tangere -
it was a categorical imperative.
Shifting the focus of his mind, he managed to see the whole thing as
reassuringly ludicrous. What shall we do
to be saved? The answer is in four
letters.
Smiling at his own little joke,
"Were you taught maithuna at school?" he asked ironically.
"At school," Radha answered
with a simple matter-of-factness that took all the Rabelaisian wind out of his
sails.
"Everybody's taught it," Ranga
added.
"And when does the teaching
begin?"
"About the same time as trigonometry
and advanced biology. That's between
fifteen and fifteen and a half."
"And after they've learned maithuna,
after they've gone out into the world and got married - that is if you ever do
get married."
"Oh, we do, we do," Radha
assured him.
"Do they still practise it?"
"Not all of them, of course. But a good many do."
"All the time?"
"Except when they want to have a
baby?"
"And those who don't want to have
babies, but who might like to have a little change from maithuna - what
do they do?"
"Contraceptives," said Ranga
laconically.
"And are the contraceptives
available?"
"Available! They're distributed by the government. Free, gratis, and for nothing - except, of
course, that they have to be paid for out of taxes."
"The postman," Radha added,
"delivers a thirty-night supply at the beginning of each month."
"And the babies don't arrive?"
"Only those we want. Nobody has more than three, and most people
stop at two."
"With the result," said Ranga,
reverting, with the statistics, to his pedantic manner, "that our
population is increasing at less than a third of one per cent per annum. Whereas Rendang's increase is as big as
Ceylon's [Sri Lanka's] - almost three per cent.
And China's is two per cent, and India's about one point seven."
"I was in China only a month
ago," said Will.
"Terrifying! And last year I
spent four weeks in India. And before
India in Central America, which is outbreeding even Rendang and Ceylon. Have either of you been in
Rendang-Lobo?"
Ranga nodded affirmatively.
"Three days in Rendang," he
explained. "If you get into the
Upper Sixth, it's part of the advanced sociology course. They let you see for yourself what the
Outside is like."
"And what did you think of the
Outside?" Will inquired.
He answered with another question. "When you were in Rendang-Lobo, did they
show you the slums?"
"On the contrary, they did their
best to prevent me from seeing the slums.
But I gave them the slip."
Gave them the slip, he was vividly
remembering, on his way back to the hotel from that grisly cocktail party at
the Rendang Foreign Office. Everybody
who was anybody was there. All the local
dignitaries and their wives - uniforms and medals, Dior and emeralds. All the important foreigners - diplomats
galore, British and American oilmen, six members of the Japanese trade mission,
a lady pharmacologist from Leningrad [St Petersberg], two Polish engineers, a
German tourist who just happened to be a cousin of Krupp von Bohlen, an
enigmatic Armenian representing a very important financial consortium in
Tangiers, and, beaming with triumph, the fourteen Czech technicians who had
come with last month's shipment of tanks and cannon and machine guns from
Skoda. "And these are the
people," he had said to himself as he walked down the marble steps of the
Foreign Office into Liberty Square, "there are the people who rule the
world. Twenty-nine hundred millions of
us at the mercy of a few scores of politicians, a few thousands of tycoons and
generals and money-lenders. Ye are the
cyanide of the earth - and the cyanide will never, never lose its savour."
After the glare of the cocktail party,
after the laughter and the luscious smells of canapés and Chanel-sprayed women,
those alleys behind the brand new Palace of Justice had seemed doubly dark and
noisome, those poor wretches camping out under the palm trees of Independence
Avenue more totally abandoned by God and man than ever the homeless, hopeless
thousands he had seen sleeping like corpses in the streets of Calcutta. And now he thought of that little boy, that
tiny pot-bellied skeleton, whom he had picked up, bruised and shaken by a fall
from the back of the little girl, scarcely larger than himself, who was
carrying him - had picked up and, led by the other child, had carried back,
carried down, to the windowless cellar that, for nine of them (he had counted
the dark ringwormy heads) was home.
"Keeping babies alive," he
said, "healing the sick, preventing the sewage from getting into the water
supply - one starts with doing things that are obviously and intrinsically
good. And how does one end? One ends by increasing the sum of human
misery and jeopardizing civilization.
It's the kind of cosmic practical joke that God seems really to
enjoy."
He gave the young people one of his
flayed, ferocious grins.
"God has nothing to do with
it," Ranga retorted, "and the joke isn't cosmic, it's strictly
man-made. These things aren't like
gravity or the second law of thermo-dynamics; they don't have to
happen. They happen only if people are
stupid enough to allow them to happen.
Here in Pala we haven't allowed them to happen, so the joke hasn't been
played on us. We've had good sanitation
for the best part of a century - and still we're not overcrowded, we're not
miserable, we're not under a dictatorship.
And the reason is very simple: we chose to behave in a sensible and
realistic way."
"How on earth were you able to
choose?" Will asked.
"The right people were intelligent
at the right moment," said Ranga.
"But it must be admitted - they were also very lucky. In fact Pala as a whole has been
extraordinarily lucky. It's had the
luck, first of all, never to have been anyone's colony. Rendang has a magnificent harbour. That brought them an Arab invasion in the
Middle Ages. We have no harbour, so the
Arabs left us alone and we're still Buddhists or Shivaites - that is, when
we're not Tantrik agnostics."
"Is that what you are?"
Will inquired. "A Tantrik
agnostic?"
"With Mahayana trimmings,"
Ranga qualified. "Well, to return
to Rendang. After the Arabs it got the
Portuguese. We didn't. No harbour, no Portuguese. Therefore no Catholic minority, no
blasphemous nonsense about it being God's will that people should breed
themselves into subhuman misery, no organized resistance to birth control. And that isn't our only blessing: after a
hundred and twenty years of the
Portuguese, Ceylon and Rendang got the Dutch.
And after the Dutch came the English.
We escaped both these infestations.
No Dutch, no English, and therefore no planters, no coolie labour, no
cash crops for export, no systematic exhaustion of our soil. Also no whisky, no Calvinism, no syphilis, no
foreign administrators. We were left to
go our own way and take responsibility for our own affairs."
"You certainly were
lucky."
"And on top of that amazing good
luck," Ranga went on, "there was the amazing good management of
Murugan the Reformer and Andrew MacPhail.
Has Dr Robert talked to you about his great-grandfather?"
"Just a few words, that's all."
"Did he tell you about the founding of
the Experimental Station?"
Will shook his head.
1"he
Experimental Station," said Ranga, "had a lot to do with our
population policy. It all began with a
famine. Before he came to Pala, Dr
Andrew spent a few years in madras. The
second year he was there, the monsoon failed.
The crops were burnt up, the tanks and even the wells went dry. Except for the English and the rich, there
was no food. People died like
flies. There's a famous passage in Dr
Andrew's memoirs about the famine. A
description and then a comment. He'd had
to listen to a lot of sermons when he was a boy, and there was one he kept
remembering now, as he worked among the starving Indians. 'Man cannot live by bread alone' - that was
the text, and the preacher had been so eloquent that several people were
converted. 'Man cannot live by bread
alone.' but without bread, he now saw,
there is no mind, no spirit, no inner light, no Father in Heaven. There is only hunger, there is only despair
and then apathy and finally death."
"Another of the cosmic jokes,"
said Will. "And this one was
formulated by Jesus himself. 'To those
who have shall be given, and from those who have not shall be taken away even
that which they have' - the bare possibility of being human. It's the cruellest of all God's jokes, and
also the commonest. I've seen it being
played on millions of men and women, millions of small children - all over the
world."
"So you can understand why that
famine made such an indelible impression on Dr Andrew's mind. He was resolved, and so was his friend the
Raja, that in Pala, at least, there should always be bread. Hence their decision to set up the
Experimental Station.
Rothamsted-in-the-Tropics was a great success. In a few years we had new strains of rice and
maize and millet and breadfruit. We had
better breeds of cattle and chickens.
Better ways of cultivating and composting; and in the fifties, we built
the first superphosphate factory east of Berlin. Thanks to all these things people were eating
better, living longer, losing fewer children.
Ten years after the founding of Rothamsted-in-the-Tropics the Raja took
a census. The population had been
stable, more of less, for a century. Now
it had started to rise. In fifty or
sixty years, Dr Andrew foresaw, Pala would be transformed into the kind of
festering slum that Rendang is today.
What was to be done? Dr Andrew
had read his Malthus. 'Food production
increases arithmetically; population increased geometrically. Man has only two choices: he can either leave
the matter to Nature, who will solve the population problem in the old familiar
way, by famine, pestilence, and war: or else (Malthus being a clergyman) he can
keep down his numbers by moral restraint.'"
"Mor-ral R-restr-raint," the
little nurse repeated rolling her r's in the Indonesian parody of a Scottish
divine. "Mor-ral
r-restr-raint! Incidentally," she
added, "Dr Andrew had just married the Raja's sixteen-year-old
niece."
"And that," said Ranga,
"was yet another reason for revising Malthus. Famine on this side, restraint on that. Surely there must be some better, happier,
humaner way between the Malthusian horns.
And of course there was such a way even then, even before the age of
rubber and spermicides. There were
sponges, there was soap, there were condoms made of every known waterproof
material from oiled silk tot he blind gut of sheep. The whole armoury of Paleo-Birth
Control."
"And how did the Raja and his
subjects react to Paleo-Birth Control?
With horror?"
"Not at all. They were good Buddhists, and every good
Buddhist knows that begetting is merely postponed assassination. Do your best to get off the Wheel of Birth
and Death, and for heaven's sake don't go about putting superfluous victims on
to the Wheel. For a good Buddhist, birth
control makes metaphysical sense. And
for a village community of rice growers, it makes social and economics
sense. There must be enough young people
to work the fields and support the aged and the little ones. But not too many of them; for then neither
the old nor the workers nor their children will have enough to eat. In the old days, couples had to have six
children in order to raise two or three.
Then came clean water and the Experimental Station. Out of six children five now survived. The old patterns of breeding had ceased to
make sense. The only objection to
Paleo-Birth Control was its crudity. But
fortunately there was a more aesthetic alternative. The Raja was a Tantrik initiate and had
learned the yoga of love. Dr Andrew was
told about maithuna and, being a true man of science, agreed to try
it. He and his young wife were given the
necessary instruction."
"With what results?"
"Enthusiastic approval."
"That's the way everybody feels
about it," said Radha.
"Now, now, none of your sweeping
generalizations! Some people feel that
way, others don't. Dr Andrew was one of
the enthusiasts. The whole matter was
lengthily discussed. In the end they
decided that contraceptives should be like education - free, tax-supported and,
though not compulsory, as nearly as possible universal. For those who felt the need for something
more refined, there would be instruction in the yoga of love."
"Do you mean to tell me that they
got away with it?"
"It wasn't really so difficult. Maithuna was orthodox. People weren't being asked to do anything
against their religion. On the contrary,
they were being given a flattering opportunity to join the elect by learning
something esoteric."
"And don't forget the most important
point of all," the little nurse chimed in.
"For women - all women, and I don't care what you say about
sweeping generalizations - the yoga of love means perfection, means being
transformed and taken out of themselves and completed." There was a brief silence. "And now," she resumed in another,
brisker tone, "it's high time we left you to your siesta."
"Before you go," said Will,
"I'd like to write a letter. Just a
brief note to my boss to say that I'm alive and in no immediate danger of being
eaten by the natives."
Radha went foraging in Dr Robert's study
and came back with paper, pencil, and an envelope.
"Veni, vidi," Will
scrawled. "I was wrecked, I met the
Rani and her collaborator from Rendang, who implies that he can deliver the
goods in return for baksheesh to the tune (he was specific) of twenty thousand
pounds. Shall I negotiate on this
basis? If you cable, Proposed article
O.K., I shall go ahead. If No
hurry for article I shall let the matter drop. Tell my mother I am safe and shall soon be
writing."
"There," he said as he handed
the envelope, sealed and addressed, to Ranga.
"May I ask you to buy me a stamp and get this off in time to catch
tomorrow's plane."
"Without fail," the boy
promised.
Watching them go, Will felt a twinge of
conscience. What charming young
people! And here he was, plotting with
Bahu and the forces of history, to subvert their world. He comforted himself with the thought that,
if he didn't do it, somebody else would.
And even if Joe Aldehyde did get his concession, they could still go on
making love in the style to which they were accustomed. Or couldn't they?
From the door the little nurse turned
back for a final word. "No reading
now," she wagged her finger at him.
"Go to sleep."
"I never sleep during the day,"
Will assured her with a certain perverse satisfaction.
CHAPTER SEVEN
He could
never go to sleep during the day; but when he looked next at his watch, the
time was twenty-five past four, and he was feeling wonderfully refreshed. He picked up Notes on What's What, and
resumed his interrupted reading.
Give
us this day our daily Faith, but deliver us, dear God, from Belief.
This was as far as he had got this
morning; and now here was a new section, the fifth.
Me as I think I am and me as I am in fact
- sorrow, in other words, and the ending of sorrow. One third, more or less, of all the sorrow
that the person I think I am must endure is unavoidable. It is the sorrow inherent in the human
condition, the price we must pay for being sentient and self-conscious
organisms, aspirants to liberation, but subject to the laws of nature and under
orders to keep on marching, through irreversible time, through a world wholly
indifferent to our well-being, towards decrepitude and the certainty of death. The remaining two thirds of all sorrow is
home-made and, so far as the universe is concerned, unnecessary.
Will turned the page. A sheet of notepaper fluttered on to the
bed. He picked it up and glanced at
it. Twenty lines of small clear writing
and at the bottom of the page the initials S.M.
Not a letter evidently; a poem and therefore public property. He read:
Somewhere between
brute silence and last Sunday's
Thirteen hundred
thousand sermons;
Somewhere between
Calvin on Christ
(God help us!) and the lizards'
Somewhere between
seeing and speaking, somewhere
Between our soiled
and greasy currency of words
And the first star,
the great moths fluttering
About the ghosts of
flowers,
Lies the clear place
where I, no longer I,
Nevertheless
remember
Love's nightlong
wisdom of the other shore;
And, listening to
the wind, remember too
That other night,
that first of widowhood,
Sleepless, with
death beside me in the dark.
Mine, mine, all
mine, mine inescapably;
But I, no longer I,
In this clear place between
my thought and silence
See all I had and
lost, anguish and joys,
Glowing like
gentians in the Alpine grass,
Blue, unpossessed,
and open.
"Like gentians," Will repeated
to himself, and thought of that summer holiday in Switzerland when he was twelve;
thought of the meadow, high above Grindelwald, with its unfamiliar flowers, its
wonderful un-English butterflies; thought of the dark blue sky and the sunshine
and the huge shining mountains on the other side of the valley. And all his father had found to say was that
it looked like an advertisement for Nestlé's mild chocolate. "Not even real chocolate," he had
insisted with a grimace of disgust.
"Milk chocolate."
After which there had been an ironic comment on the water colour his
mother was painting - so badly (poor thing!) but with such loving and
conscientious care. "The milk
chocolate advertisement that Nestlé rejected." And now it was his turn. "Instead of just mooning about with your
mouth open, like the village idiot, why not do something intelligent for a
change? Put in some work on your German
grammar, for example." And diving
into the rucksack, he had pulled out, from among the hardboiled eggs and the
sandwiches, the abhorred little brown book.
What a detestable man! And yet,
if Susila was right, one ought to be able to see him now, after all these
years, glowing like a gentian - Will glanced again at the last line of the poem
- "blue, unpossessed, and open".
"Well ..." said a familiar
voice.
He turned towards the door. "Talk of the devil," he said. "Or rather read what the devil has
written." He held up the sheet of
notepaper for her inspection.
Susila glanced at it. "Oh, that," she said. "If only good intentions were enough to
make good poetry!" She sighed and
shook her head.
"I was trying to think of my father
as a gentian," he went on.
"But all I get is the persistent image of the most enormous
turd."
"Even turds," she assured him,
"can be seen as gentians."
"But only, I take it, in the place
you were writing about - the clear place between thought and silence?"
Susila nodded.
"How do you get there?"
"You don't get there. There comes to you. Or rather there is really here."
"You're just like little
Radha," he complained.
"Parroting what the Old Raja says at the beginning of this
book."
"If we repeat it," she said,
"it's because it happens to be true.
If we didn't repeat it, we'd be ignoring the facts."
"Whose facts?" he asked. "Certainly not mine."
"Not at the moment," she
agreed. "But if you were to do the
kind of things that the Old Raja recommends, they might be yours."
"Did you have parent
trouble?" he asked after a little silence.
"Or could you always see turds as gentians?"
"Not at that age," she
answered. "Children have to
be Manichean dualists. It's the price we
must all pay for learning the rudiments of being human. Seeing turds as gentians, or rather seeing
both gentians and turds as Gentians with a capital G - that's a post-graduate
accomplishment."
"So what did you do about your
parents? Just grin and bear the
unbearable? Or did your father and
mother happen to be bearable?"
"Bearable separately," she
answered. "Especially my
father. But quite unbearable together -
unbearable, because they couldn't bear one another. A bustling, cheerful, outgoing woman married
to a man so fastidiously introverted that she got on his nerves all the time -
even, I suspect, in bed. She never
stopped communicating, and he never started.
With the result that he thought she was shallow and insincere, she
thought he was heartless, contemptuous, and without normal human
feelings."
"I'd have expected that you people
would know better than to walk into that kind of trap."
"We do know better," she
assured him. "Boys and girls are
specifically taught what to expect of people whose temperament and physique are
very different from their own.
Unfortunately, it sometimes happens that the lessons don't seem to have
much effect. Not to mention the fact
that in some cases the psychological distance between the people involved is
really too great to be bridged. Anyhow,
the fact remains that my father and mother never managed to make a go of
it. They'd fallen in love with one
another - goodness knows why. But when
they came to close quarters, she found herself being constantly hurt by his
inaccessibility, while her uninhibited good fellowship made him fairly
cringe with embarrassment and distaste. My
sympathies were always with my father.
Physically and temperamentally I'm very close to him, not in the least
like my mother. I remember, even as a
tiny child, how I used to shrink away from her exuberance. She was like a permanent invasion of one's
privacy. She still is."
"Do you have to see a lot of
her?"
"Very little. She has her own job and her own friends. In our part of the world 'mother' is strictly
the name of a function. When the
function has been duly fulfilled, the title lapses; the ex-child and the woman
who used to be called 'mother' establish a new kind of relationship. If they get on well together, they continue
to see a lot of one another. If they
don't, they drift apart. Nobody expects
them to cling, and clinging isn't equated with loving - isn't regarded as
anything particularly creditable."
"So all's well now. But what about then? What happened when you were a child, growing
up between two people who couldn't bridge the gulf that separated them? I know what that means - the
fairy-story ending in reverse. 'And so
they lived unhappily ever after.'"
"And I've no doubt," said
Susila, "that if we hadn't been born in Pala, we would have lived
unhappily ever after. As it was, we got
on, all things considered, remarkably well."
"How did you manage to do
that?"
"We didn't; it was all managed for
us. Have you read what the Old Raja says
about getting rid of the two thirds of sorrow that's home-made and
gratuitous?"
Will nodded. "I was just reading it when you came
in."
"Well, in the bad old days,"
she went on, "Palanese families could be just as victimizing, tyrant-producing
and liar-creating as yours can be today.
In fact they were so awful that Dr Andrew and the Raja of the Reform
decided that something had to be done about it.
Buddhist ethics and primitive village communism were skilfully made to
serve the purposes of reason, and in a single generation the whole family
system was radically changed." She
hesitated for a moment. "Let me
explain," she went on, "in terms of my own particular case - the case
of an only child of two people who couldn't understand one another and were
always at cross purposes or actually quarrelling. In the old days, a little girl brought up in
those surroundings would have emerged as either a wreck, a rebel, or a resigned
hypocritical conformist. Under the new
dispensation I didn't have to undergo unnecessary suffering. I wasn't wrecked or forced into rebellion or
resignation. Why? Because from the moment I could toddle, I was
free to escape."
"To escape?" he repeated. "To escape!" It seemed to good to be true.
"Escape," she explained,
"is built into the new system.
Whenever the parental Home Sweet Home becomes too unbearable, the child
is allowed, is actively encouraged - and the whole weight of public opinion is
behind the encouragement - to migrate to one of its other homes."
"How many homes does a Palanese
child have?"
"About twenty on the average."
"Twenty? My God!"
"We all belong," Susila
explained, "to an MAC - a Mutual Adoption Club. Every MAC consists of anything from fifteen
to twenty-five assorted couples. Newly elected
brides and bridegrooms, old-timers with growing children, grandparents and
great-grandparents - everybody in the club adopts everyone else. Besides our own blood relations, we all have
our quota of deputy mothers, deputy fathers, deputy aunts and uncles, deputy
brothers and sisters, deputy babies and toddlers and teenagers."
Will shook his head. "Making twenty families grow where only
one grew before."
"But what grew before was your
kind of family. The twenty are all our
kind." As though reading
instructions from a cookery book, "'Take one sensually inept
wage-slave,'" she went on, "'one dissatisfied female, two or (if
preferred) three small television addicts; marinate in a mixture of Freudism
and dilute Christianity; then bottle up tightly in a four-room flat and stew
for fifteen years in their own juice.' Our
recipe is rather different. 'Take twenty
sexually satisfied couples and their offspring; add science, intuition and
humour in equal quantities; steep in Tantrik Buddhism and simmer indefinitely
in an open pan in the open air over a brisk flame of affection.'"
"And what comes out of your open
pan?" he asked.
"An entirely different kind of
family. Not exclusive, like your
families, and not predestined, not compulsory.
An inclusive, unpredestined and voluntary family. Twenty pairs of fathers and mothers, eight or
nine ex-fathers and ex-mothers, and forty or fifty assorted children of all
ages."
"Do people stay in the same adoption
club all their lives?"
"Of course not. Grown-up children don't adopt their own
parents or their own brothers and sisters.
They go out and adopt another set of elders, a different group of peers
and juniors. And the members of the new
club adopt them and, in due course, their children. Hybridization of micro-cultures - that's what
our sociologists call the process. It's
as beneficial, on its own level, as the hybridization of different strains of
maize or chickens. Healthier relationships
in more responsible groups, wider sympathies and deeper understandings. And the sympathies and understandings are for
everyone in the MAC from babies to centenarians."
"Centenarians? What's your expectation of life?"
"A year or two more than
yours," she answered. "Ten per
cent of us are over sixty-five. The old get
pensions, if they can't earn. But
obviously pensions aren't enough. They
need something useful and challenging to do; they need people they can care for
and be loved by in return. The MACs
fulfil those needs."
"It all sounds," said Will,
"suspiciously like the propaganda for one of the new Chinese
Communes."
"Nothing," she assured him,
"could be less like a commune than an MAC.
An MAC isn't run by the government, it's run by its members. And we're not militaristic. We're not interested in turning out good
party members; we're only interested in turning out good human beings. We don't inculcate dogmas. And finally we don't take the children away
from their parents; on the contrary, we give the children additional parents
and the parents additional children.
That means that even in the nursery we enjoy a certain degree of
freedom; and our freedom increases as we grow older and can deal with a wider
range of experience and take on greater responsibilities. Whereas in China there's no freedom at all. The children are handed over to official
baby-tamers, whose business it is to turn them into obedient servants of the
State. Things are a great deal better in
your part of the world - better, but still quite bad enough. You escape the state-appointed baby-tamers;
but your society condemns you to pass your childhood in an exclusive family,
with only a single set of siblings and parents.
They're foisted on you by hereditary predestination. You can't get rid of them, can't take a
holiday from them, can't go to anyone else for a change of moral or
psychological air. It's freedom, if you
like - but freedom in a telephone booth."
"Locked in," Will elaborated,
"(and I'm thinking now of myself) with a sneering bully, a Christian
martyr, and a little girl who'd been frightened by the bully and blackmailed by
the martyr's appeal to her better feelings into a state of quivering
imbecility. That was the home from
which, until I was fourteen and my Aunt Mary came to live next door, I never
escaped."
"And your unfortunate parents never
escaped from you."
"That's not quite true. My father used to escape into brandy and my
mother into High Anglicanism. I had to
serve out my sentence without the slightest mitigation. Fourteen years of family servitude. How I envy you! Free as a bird!"
"Not so lyrical! Free, let's say, as a developing human being,
free as a future woman - but no freer.
Mutual Adoption guarantees children against injustice and the worst consequences
of parental ineptitude. It doesn't
guarantee them against discipline, or against having to accept
responsibilities. On the contrary, it
increases the number of their responsibilities; it exposes them to a wide
variety of disciplines. In your
predestined and exclusive families children, as you say, serve a long prison
term under a single set of parental jailers.
These parental jailers may, of course, be good, wise, and
intelligent. In that case the little
prisoners will emerge more or less unscathed.
But in point of fact most of your parental jailers are not
conspicuously good, wise, or intelligent.
They're apt to be well-meaning but stupid, or not well-meaning and
frivolous, or else neurotic, or occasionally downright malevolent, or frankly
insane. so God help the young convicts
committed by law and custom and religion to their tender mercies! But now consider what happens in a large,
inclusive voluntary family. No telephone
booths, no predestined jailers. Here the
children grow up in a world that's a working model of society at large, a small-scale
but accurate version of the environment in which they're going to have to live
when they're grown up. 'Holy',
'Healthy', 'whole' - they all come from the same root and carry different
overtones of the same meaning.
Etymologically and in fact, our kind of family, the inclusive and
voluntary kind, is the genuine holy family.
Yours is the unholy family."
"Amen," said Will, and though
again of his own childhood, thought too of poor little Murugan in the clutches
of the Rani. "What happens,"
he asked after a pause, "when the children migrate to one of their own
homes? How long do they stay
there?"
"It all depends. When my children get fed up with me, they
seldom stay away for more than a day or two.
That's because, fundamentally, they're very happy at home. I wasn't, and so when I walked out,
I'd sometimes stay away for a whole month."
"And did your deputy parents back
you up against your real mother and father?"
"It's not a question of doing
anything against anybody. All
that's being opposed in unhappiness and its avoidable causes. If a child feels unhappy in his first home,
we do our best for him in fifteen or twenty second homes. Meanwhile the father and mother get some
tactful therapy from the other members of their Mutual Adoption club. In a few weeks the parents are fit to be with
their children again, and the children are fit to be with their parents. But you mustn't think," she added,
"that it's only when they're in trouble that children resort to their
deputy parents and grandparents. They do
it all the time, whenever they feel the need for a change or some kind of new
experience. And it isn't just a social
whirl. Wherever they go, as deputy
children, they have their responsibilities as well as their rights - brushing
the dog, for example, cleaning out the bird cages, minding the baby while the
mother's doing something else. duties as
well as privileges - but not in one of your airless little telephone booths. Duties and privileges in a big, open,
unpredestined, inclusive family, where all the seven ages of man and a dozen
different skills and talents are represented, and in which children have
experience of all the important and significant things that human beings do and
suffer - working, playing, loving, getting old, being sick, dying ...” she was
silent, thinking of Dugald and Dugald's mother' then, deliberately changing her
tone, "But what about you?" she went on. "I've been so busy talking about
families that I haven't even asked you how you're feeling. You certainly look a lot better than
when I saw you last."
"Thanks to Dr MacPhail. And also thanks to someone who I suspect, was
definitely practising medicine without a licence. What on earth did you do to me yesterday
afternoon?"
Susila smiled. "You did it to yourself," she
assured him. "I merely pressed the
buttons."
"Which buttons?"
"Memory buttons, imagination
buttons."
"And that was enough to put me into
a hypnotic trance?"
"If you like to call it that."
"What else can one call it?"
"Why call it anything? Names are such question-beggars. Why not be content with just knowing that it
happened?"
"But what did happen?"
"Well, to begin with, we made some
kind of contact, didn't we?"
"We certainly did," he
agreed. "And yet I don't believe I
even so much as looked at you."
He was looking at her now, though -
looking and wondering, as he looked, who this strange little creature really
was, what lay behind the smooth grave mask of the face, what the dark eyes were
seeing as they returned his scrutiny, what she was thinking.
"How could you look at
me?" she said. "You'd gone off
on your vacation."
"Or was I pushed off?"
"Pushed? No."
She shook her head. "Let's
say seen off, helped off." There
was a moment of silence. "Did you
ever," she resumed, "try to do a job of work with a child hanging
around?"
Will thought of the small neighbour who
had offered to help him paint the dining-room furniture, and laughed at the
memory of his exasperation.
"Poor little darling!" Susila
went on. "He means so well, he's so
anxious to help."
"But the paint's on the carpet, the
finger prints are all over the walls ..."
"So that in the end you have to get
rid of him. 'Run along, little boy! Go and play in the garden!'"
There was a silence.
"Well?" he questioned at last.
"Don't you see?"
Will shook his head.
"What happens when you're ill, when
you've been hurt? Who does the
repairing? Who heals the wounds and
throws off the infection? Do you?"
"Who else?"
"You?" she insisted. "You? The person that feels the pain and does the
worrying and thinks about sin and money and the future! Is that you capable of doing what has
to be done?"
"Oh, I see what you're driving
at."
"At last!" she mocked.
"Send me to play in the
garden so that the grown-ups can do their work in peace. But who are the grown-ups?"
"Don't ask me," she
answered. "That's a question for a
neuro-theologian."
"Meaning what?" he asked.
"Meaning precisely what it
says. Somebody who thinks about people
in terms, simultaneously, of the Clear Light of the Void and the vegetative
nervous system. The grown-ups are a
mixture of Mind and physiology."
"And the children?"
"The children are the little fellows
who think they know better than the grown-ups."
"And so must be told to run along
and play."
"Exactly."
"Is your sort of treatment standard
procedure in Pala?" he asked.
"Standard procedure," she
assured him. "In your part of the
world doctors get rid of the children by poisoning them with barbiturates. We do it by talking to them about cathedrals
and jackdaws." Her voice had
modulated into a chant. "About
white clouds floating in the sky, white swans floating on the dark, smooth,
irresistible river of life ..."
"Now, now," he protested. "None of that!"
A smile lit up the grave dark face, and
she began to laugh. Will looked at her
with astonishment. Here, suddenly, was a
different person, another Susila MacPhail, gay, mischievous, ironical."
"I know your tricks," he added,
joining in the laughter.
"Tricks?" Still laughing, she shook her head. "I was just explaining how I did
it."
"I know exactly how you did it. And I also know that it works. What's more, I give you leave to do it again
- whenever it's necessary."
"If you like," she said more
seriously, "I'll show you how to press your own buttons. We teach it in all our elemental
schools. There three R's plus
rudimentary S.D."
"What's that?"
"Self-Determination. Alias Destiny Control."
"Destiny Control?" He raised his eyebrows.
"No, no," she assured him,
"we're not quite such fools as you seem to think. We know perfectly well that only a part of
our destiny is controllable."
"And you control it by pressing your
own buttons?"
"Pressing our own buttons and then
visualizing what we'd like to happen."
"But does it happen?"
"In many cases it does."
"Simple!" There was a note of irony in his voice.
"Wonderfully simple," she
agreed. "And yet, so far as I know,
we're the only people who systematically teach D.C. to their children. You just tell them what they're
supposed to do and leave it at that.
Behave well, you say. But
how? You never tell them. All you do is give them pep talks and
punishments. Pure idiocy."
"Pure unadulterated idiocy," he
agreed, remembering Mr Crabbe, his housemaster, on the subject of masturbation,
remembering the canings and the weekly sermons and the Commination Service on
Ash Wednesday. "Cursed is he that
lieth with his neighbour's wife.
Amen."
"If your children take the idiocy
seriously, they grow up to be miserable sinners. And if they don't take it seriously, they
grow up to be miserable cynics. And if
they react from miserable cynicism, they're apt to go Papist or Marxist. No wonder you have to have all those
thousands of jails and churches and Communist cells."
"Whereas in Pala, I gather, you have
very few."
Susila shook her head.
"No Alcatrazes here," she
said. "No Billy Grahams or Mao
Tse-tungs or Madonnas of Fatima. No
hells on earth and no christian pie in the sky, no Communist pie in the
twenty-second century. Just men and
women and their children trying to make the best of the here and now, instead
of living somewhere else, as you people mostly do, in some other time, some
other home-made imaginary universe. And
it really isn't your fault. You're
almost compelled to live that way because the present is so frustrating. And it's frustrating because you've never
been taught how to bridge the gap between theory and practice, between your New
Year's resolutions and your actual behaviour."
"'For the good that I would,'"
he quoted, "'I do not; and the evil that I would not, that I do.'"
"Who said that?"
"The man who invented Christianity -
St Paul."
"You see," she said, "the
highest possible ideals, and no methods for realizing them."
"Except the supernatural method of
having them realized by Somebody Else."
Throwing back his head, Will Farnaby
burst into song.
"There
is a fountain fill'd with blood,
Drawn from Emmanuel's veins,
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
Are cleansed of all their stains."
Susila had covered her ears. "It's really obscene," she said.
"My housemaster's favourite
hymn," Will explained. "We
used to sing it about once a week, all the time I was at school."
"Thank goodness," she said,
"there was never any blood in Buddhism!
Gautama lived till eighty and died from being too courteous to refuse
bad food. Violent death always seems to
call for more violent death. 'If you
won't believe that you're redeemed by my redeemer's blood, I'll drown
you in your own.' Last year I took a
course at Shivapuram in the history of Christianity." Susila shuddered at the memory. "What a horror! And all because that poor ignorant man didn't
know how to implement his good intentions."
"And most of us," said Will,
"are still in the same old boat.
The evil that we would not, that we do.
And how!"
Reacting unforgivably to the
unforgivable, Will Farnaby laughed derisively.
Laughed because he had seen the goodness of Molly and then, with open
eyes, had chosen the pink alcove and, with it, Molly's unhappiness, Molly's
death, his own gnawing sense of guilt and then the pain, out of all proportion
to its low and essentially farcical cause, the agonizing pain that he had felt
when Babs in due course did what any fool must have known she inevitably would
do - turned him out of her infernal gin-illumined paradise, and took another
lover.
"What's the matter?" Susila
asked.
"Nothing. Why do you ask?"
"Because you're not very good at hiding
your feelings. You were thinking of
something that made you unhappy."
"You've got sharp eyes," he
said, and looked away.
There was a long silence. Should he tell her? Tell her about Babs, about poor Molly, about
himself, tell her all the dismal and senseless things he had never, even when
he was drunk, told even his oldest friends?
Old friends knew too much about one, too much about the other parties
involved, too much about the grotesque and complicated game which (as an
English gentleman who was also a Bohemian, also a would-be poet, also - in mere
despair, because he knew he could never be a good poet - a hard-boiled
journalist, and the private agent, very well paid, of a rich man whom he
despised) he was always so elaborately playing.
No, old friends would never do.
But from this dark little outsider, this stranger to whom he already
owed so much and with whom, though he knew nothing about her, he was already so
intimate, there would come no foregone conclusions no ex parte
judgements - would come perhaps, he found himself hoping (he who had trained
himself never to hope!), some unexpected enlightenment, some positive and
practical help. (And, God knew, he
needed help - though God also knew, only too well, that he would never say so,
never sink so low as to ask for it.)
Like a muezzin in his minaret, one of the
talking birds began to shout from the tall palm beyond the mango trees,
"Here and now, boys. Here and now,
boys."
Will decided to take the plunge - but to
take it indirectly, by talking first, not about his problems, but hers. Without looking at Susila (for that, he felt,
would be indecent), he began to speak.
"Dr MacPhail told me something about
... about what happened to your husband."
The words turned a sword in her heart;
but that was to be expected, that was right and inevitable. "It'll be four months next
Wednesday," she said. And then,
meditatively, "Two people," she went on after a little silence,
"two separate individuals - but they add up to something like a new
creation. And then suddenly half of this
new creature is amputated; but the other half doesn't die - can't die, mustn't
die."
"Mustn't die?"
"For so many reasons - the children,
oneself, the whole nature of things. But
needless to say," she added with a little smile that only accentuated the
sadness in her eyes, "needless to say the reasons don't lessen the shock
of the amputation or make the aftermath any more bearable. The only thing that helps is what we were
talking about just now - Destiny Control.
And even that ..." She shook
her head. "D.C. can't give you a
completely painless bereavement; you'd be less than human."
"Less than human," he
repeated. "Less than human ...”
Three short words; but how completely they summed him up! "The really terrible thing," he
said aloud, "is when you know it's your fault that the other person
died."
"Were you married?" she
asked.
"For twelve years. Until last spring ..."
"And now she's dead?"
"She died in an accident."
"In an accident? Then how was it your fault?"
"The accident happened because ...
well, because the evil that I didn't want to do, I did. And that day it came to a head. The hurt of it confused and distracted her,
and I let her drive away in the car - let her drive away into a head-on
collision."
"Did you love her?"
He hesitated for a moment, then slowly
shook his head.
"Was there somebody else - somebody
you cared for more?"
"Somebody I couldn't have cared for
less." He made a grimace of
sardonic self-mockery.
"And what was the evil you didn't
want to do, but did?"
"Did and went on doing until I'd
killed the woman I ought to have loved, but didn't. Went on doing it even after I'd killed her,
even though I hated myself for doing it - yes, and really hated the person who
made me do it."
"Made you do it, I suppose, by
having the right kind of body?"
Will nodded, and there was silence.
"Do you know what it's like,"
he asked at length, "to feel that nothing is quite real - including
yourself?"
Susila nodded. "It sometimes happens when one's just on
the point of discovering that everything, including oneself, is much more real
than one ever imagined. It's like
shifting gears; you have to go into neutral before you change into high."
"Or low," said Will. "In my case, the shift wasn't up, it was
down. No, not even down; it was into
reverse. The first time it happened I
was waiting for a bus to take me home from Fleet Street. Thousands upon thousands of people, all on
the move, and each of the unique, each of them the centre of the universe. Then the sun came out from behind a
cloud. Everything was extraordinarily
bright and clear; and suddenly, with an almost audible click, they were all maggots."
"Maggots?"
"You know, those little pale worms
with black heads that one sees on rotten meat.
Nothing had changed, of course; people's faces were the same, their
clothes were the same. And yet they were
all maggots. Not even real maggots -
just the ghosts of maggots, just the illusion of maggots. And I was the illusion of a spectator of
maggots. I lived in that maggot-world
for months. Lived in it, worked in it,
went out to lunch and dinner in it - all without the least interest in what I
was doing. Without the least enjoyment
or relish, completely desireless and, as I discovered when I tried to make love
to a young woman I'd had occasional fun with in the past, completely
impotent."
"What did you expect?"
"Precisely that."
"Then why on earth ...?"
Will gave her one of his flayed smiles
and shrugged his shoulders. "As a
matter of scientific interest. I was an
entomologist investigating the sex-life of the phantom maggot."
"After which, I suppose, everything
seemed even more unreal."
"Even more," he agreed,
"if that was possible."
"But what brought on the maggots in
the first place?"
"Well, to begin with," he
answered, "I was my parents' son.
By Bully Boozer out of Christian Martyr.
And on top of being my parents' son," he went on after a little
pause, "I was my Aunt Mary's nephew."
"What did your Aunt Mary have to do
with it?"
"She was the only person I ever
loved, and when I was sixteen she got cancer.
Off with the right breast; then a year later, off with the left. And after that nine months of X-rays and
radiation sickness. Then it got into the
liver, and that was the end. I was there
from start to finish. For a boy in his
teens it was a liberal education - but liberal."
"In what?" Susila asked.
"In Pure and Applied
Pointlessness. And a few weeks after the
close of my private course in the subject came the grand opening of the public
course. World War II. Followed by the non-stop refresher course of
Cold War I. And all this time I'd been
wanting to be a poet and finding out that I simply don't have what it
takes. And then, after the War, I had to
go into journalism to make money. What I
wanted was to go hungry, if necessary, but try to write something decent - good
prose at least, seeing that it couldn't be good poetry. But I'd reckoned without those darling
parents of mine. By the time he died, in
January forty-six, my father had got rid of all the little money our family had
inherited and by the time she was blessedly a widow, my mother was crippled
with arthritis and had to be supported.
So there I was in Fleet Street, supporting her with an ease and a
success that were completely humiliating."
"Why humiliating?"
"Wouldn't you be humiliated if you
found yourself making money by turning out the cheapest, flashiest kind of
literary forgery? I was a success
because I was so irremediably second-rate."
"And the net result of it all was
maggots?"
He nodded. "Not even real maggots: phantom
maggots. And here's where Molly came
into the picture. I met her at a
high-class maggot-party in Bloomsbury.
We were introduced, we made some politely inane conversation about
non-objective painting. Not wanting to
see any more maggots, I didn't look at her; but she must have been looking at
me. Molly had very pale grey-blue
eyes." he added parenthetically, "eyes that saw everything - she was
incredibly observant, but observed without malice or censoriousness, seeing the
evil, if it was there, but never condemning it, just feeling enormously sorry
for the person who was under compulsion to think those thoughts and do that
odious kind of thing. Well, as I say,
she must have been looking at me while we talked; for suddenly she asked me why
I was so sad. I'd had a couple of drinks
and there was nothing impertinent or offensive about the way she asked the
question; so I told her about the maggots.
"And you're one of them," I finished up, and for the first
time I looked at her. "A blue-eyed
maggot with a face like one of the holy women in attendance at a Flemish
crucifixion."
"Was she flattered?"
"I think so. She stopped being a Catholic; but she still
had a certain weakness for crucifixions and holy women. Anyhow, next morning she called me at
breakfast time. Would I like to drive
down into the country with her? It was
Sunday and, by a miracle, fine. I
accepted. We spent an hour in a hazel
copse, picking primroses and looking at little white windflowers. One doesn't pick the windflowers," he
explained, "because in an hour they're withered. I did a lot of looking at that hazel copse -
looking at flowers with the naked eye and then looking into them through the
magnifying glass that Molly had brought with her. I don't know why, but it was extraordinary
therapeutic - just looking into the hearts of primroses and anemones. For the rest of the day I saw no
maggots. But Fleet Street was still
there, waiting for me, and by lunch time on Monday the whole place was crawling
with them as thickly as ever. Millions
of maggots. But now I knew what to do
about them. That evening I went to
Molly's studio."
"Was she a painter?"
"Not a real painter, and she knew
it. Knew it and didn't resent it, just
made the best of having no talent. She
didn't paint for art's sake; she painted because she liked looking at things,
liked the process of trying meticulously to reproduce what she saw. That evening she gave me a canvas and a
palette, and told me to do likewise."
"And did it work?"
"It worked so well that when, a
couple of months later, I cut open a rotten apple, the worm at its centre
wasn't a maggot - not subjectively, I mean.
Objectively, yes; it was all that a maggot should be, and that's how I
portrayed it, how we both portrayed it - for we always painted the same things
at the same time."
"What about the other maggots, the
phantom maggots outside the apple?"
"Well, I still had relapses,
especially in Fleet Street and at cocktail parties; but the maggots were
definitely fewer, definitely less haunting.
And meanwhile something new was happening in the studio. I was falling in love - falling in love
because love is catching and Molly was so obviously in love with me - why, God
only knows."
"I can see several possible reasons
why. She might have loved you because
...” Susila eyed him appraisingly and smiled, "Well, because you're quite
an attractive kind of queer fish."
He laughed. "Thank you for a handsome
compliment."
"On the other hand," Susila
went on, "(and this isn't quite so complimentary), she might have loved
you because you made her feel so damned sorry for you."
"That's the truth, I'm afraid. Molly was a born Sister of Mercy."
"And a Sister of Mercy,
unfortunately, isn't the same as a Wife of Love."
"Which I duly discovered," he
said.
"After your marriage, I
suppose."
Will hesitated for a moment. "Actually," he said, "it was
before. Not because, on her side, there
had been any urgency of desire, but only because she was so eager to do
anything to please me. Only because, on
principle, she didn't believe in conventions and was all for freely loving, and
more surprisingly" (he remembered the outrageous things she would so
casually and placidly give utterance to even in his mother's presence)
"all for freely talking about that freedom."
"You knew it beforehand,"
Susila summed up, "and yet you still married her."
Will nodded his head without speaking.
"Because you were a gentleman, I
take it, and a gentleman keeps his word."
"Partly for that rather
old-fashioned reason, but also because I was in love with her."
"Were you in love with
her?"
"Yes. No, I don't know. But at the time I did know. At least I thought I knew. I was really convinced that I was really in
love with her. And I knew, I still know,
why I was convinced. I was grateful to
her for having exorcized those maggots.
And besides the gratitude there was respect. There was admiration. She was so much better and honester than I
was. But unfortunately, you're right: a
Sister of Mercy isn't the same as a Wife of Love. But I was ready to take Molly on her own
terms, not on mine. I was ready to
believe that her terms were better than mine."
"How soon," Susila asked, after
a long silence, "did you start having affairs on the side?"
Will smiled his flayed smile. "Three months to the day after our
wedding. The first time was with one of
the secretaries at the office. Goodness,
what a bore! After that there was a
young painter, a curly-headed little Jewish girl that Molly had helped with
money while she was studying at the Slade.
I used to go to her studio twice a week, from five to seven. It was almost three years before Molly found
out about it."
"And I gather she was upset?"
"Much more than I'd ever thought
she'd be."
"So what did you do about it?"
Will shook his head. "This is where it begins to get
complicated," he said. "I had
no intention of giving up my cocktail hours with Rachel; but I hated myself for
making Molly so unhappy. At the same
time I hated her for being unhappy. I
resented her suffering and the love that had made her suffer; I felt that they
were unfair, a kind of blackmail to force me to give up my innocent fun with
Rachel. By loving me so much and being
so miserable about what I was doing - she was putting pressure on me, she was
trying to restrict my freedom. But
meanwhile she was genuinely unhappy; and though I hated her for blackmailing me
with her unhappiness, I was filled with pity for her. Pity," he repeated, "not
compassion. Compassion is suffering
with, and what I wanted at all costs was to spare myself the pain her suffering
caused me, and avoid the painful sacrifices by which I could put an end to her
suffering. Pity was my answer, being
sorry for her from the outside, if you see what I mean - sorry for her as a
spectator, an aesthete, a connoisseur in excruciations. And this aesthetic pity of mine was so
intense, every time her unhappiness came to a head, that I could almost mistake
it for love. Almost, but never
quite. For when I expressed my pity in
physical tenderness (which I did because
that was the only way of putting a temporary stop to her unhappiness and to the
pain her unhappiness was inflicting on me) that tenderness was always
frustrated before it could come to its natural consummation. Frustrated because, by temperament, she was
only a Sister of Mercy, not a wife. And
yet, on every level but the sensual, she loved me with total commitment - a
commitment that called for an answering commitment on my part. But I wouldn't commit myself, maybe I
genuinely couldn't. So instead of being
grateful for her self-giving, I resented it.
It made claims on me, claims that I refused to acknowledge. So there we were, at the end of every crisis,
back at the beginning of the old drama - the drama of a love incapable of
sensuality self-committed to a sexuality incapable of love and evoking
strangely mixed responses of guilt and exasperation, of pity and resentment,
sometimes of real hatred (but always with an undertone of remorse), the whole
accompanied by, contrapuntal to, a succession of furtive evenings with my
little curly-headed painter."
"I hope at least they were
enjoyable," said Susila.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Only moderately. Rachel could never forget that she was an
intellectual. She had a way of asking
what one thought of Piero di Cosimo at the most inopportune moments. The real enjoyment and of course the real
agony - I never experienced them until Babs appeared on the scene."
"When was that?"
"Just over a year ago. In Africa."
"Africa?"
"I'd been sent there by Joe
Aldehyde."
"That man who owns newspapers?"
"And all the rest. He was married to Molly's Aunt Eileen. An exemplary family man, I may add. That's why he's so serenely convinced of his
own righteousness, even when he's engaged in the most nefarious financial
operations."
"And you're working for him?"
Will nodded. "That was his wedding present to Molly -
a job for me on the Aldehyde papers at almost twice the salary I'd been getting
from my previous employers.
Princely! But then he was very
fond of Molly."
"How did he react to Babs?"
"He never knew about her - never
knew that there was any reason for Molly's accident."
"So he goes on employing you for
your dead wife's sake?"
Will shrugged his shoulders. "The excuse," he said, "is
that I have my mother to support."
"And of course you wouldn't enjoy
being poor."
"I certainly wouldn't."
There was a silence.
"Well," said Susila at last,
"let's get back to Africa."
"I'd been sent there to do a series
on Negro Nationalism. Not to mention a
little private hanky-panky in the business line for Uncle Joe. It was on the plane, flying home from
Nairobi. I found myself sitting next to
her."
"Next to the young woman you
couldn't have liked less?"
"Couldn't have liked less," he
repeated, "or disapproved of more.
But if you're an addict you've got to have your dope - the dope that you
know in advance is going to destroy you."
"It's a funny thing," she said
reflectively, "but in Pala we have hardly any addicts."
"Not even sex-addicts?"
"The sex-addicts are also
person-addicts. In other words, they're
lovers."
"But even lovers sometimes hate the
people they love."
"Naturally. Because I always have the same name and the
same nose and eyes, it doesn't follow that I'm always the same woman. Recognizing that fact and reacting to it sensibly
- that's part of the Art of Loving."
As succinctly as he could, Will told her
the rest of the story. It was the same
story, now that Babs had come on the scene, as it had been before - the same
but much more so. Babs had been Rachel
raised, so to speak, to a higher power - Rachel squared, Rachel to the nth. And the unhappiness that, because of Babs, he
had inflicted upon Molly was proportionately greater than anything she had had
to suffer on account of Rachel.
Proportionately greater, too, had been his own exasperation, his own
resentful sense of being blackmailed by her love and suffering, his own remorse
and pity, his own determination, in spite of the remorse and the pity, to go on
getting what he wanted, what he hated himself for wanting, what he resolutely
refused to do without. And meanwhile
Babs had become more demanding, was claiming ever more and more of his time -
time not only in the strawberry-pink alcove, but also outside, in restaurants,
and nightclubs, at her horrible friends' cocktail parties, on weekends in the
country. "Just you and me,
darling," she would say, "all alone together." All alone together in an isolation that gave
him the opportunity to plumb the almost unfathomable depths of her mindlessness
and vulgarity. But through all his
boredom and distaste, all his moral and intellectual repugnance, the craving
persisted. After one of those dreadful
weekends, he was as hopelessly a Babs-addict as he had been before. And on her side, on her own Sister-of-Mercy
level, Molly had remained, in spite of everything, no less hopelessly a Will
Farnaby-addict. Hopelessly so far as he
was concerned - for his one wish was that she should love him less and allow
him to go to hell in peace. But, so far
as Molly herself was concerned, the addiction was always and irrepressibly
hopeful. She never ceased to expect the
transfiguring miracle that would change him into the kind, unselfish, loving
Will Farnaby whom (in the teeth of all the evidence, all the repeated
disappointments) she stubbornly insisted on regarding as his true self. It was only in the course of that last fatal
interview, only when (stifling his pity and giving free rein to his resentment
of her blackmailing unhappiness) he had announced his intention of leaving her
and going to live with Babs - it was only then that hope had finally given place
to hopelessness. "Do you mean it,
Will - do you really mean it?"
"I really mean it." It
was in hopelessness that she had walked out to the car, in utter hopelessness
had driven away in the rain - into her death.
At the funeral, when the coffin was lowered into the grave, he had
promised himself that he would never see Babs again. Never, never, never again. That evening, while he was sitting at his
desk, trying to write an article on 'What's Wrong with Youth', trying not to
remember the hospital, the open grave and his own responsibility for everything
that had happened, he was startled by the shrill buzzing of the doorbell. A belated message of condolence, no doubt
... He had opened, and there, instead of
the telegram, was Babs - dramatically without make-up and all in black.
"My poor, poor Will!" They had sat down in the sofa in the
living-room, and she had stroked his hair and both of them had cried. An hour later, they were naked and in
bed. Within three months, as any fool
could have foreseen, Babs had begun to
tire of him; within four, an absolutely divine man from Kenya had turned up at
a cocktail party. One thing had led to
another and when, three days later, Babs
came home, it was to prepare the alcove for a new tenant and give notice to the
old.
"Do you really mean it, Babs?"
She really meant it.
There was a rustling in the bushes
outside the window and an instant later, startlingly loud and slightly out of
tune, "Here and now, boys," shouted a talking bird.
"Shut up!" Will shouted back.
"Here and now, boys," the mynah
repeated. "Here and now, boys. Here and ..."
"Shut up!"
There was silence.
"I had to shut him up," Will
explained, "because of course he's absolutely right. Here, boys; now, boys. Then and there are absolutely
irrelevant. Or aren't they? What about your husband's death, for
example? Is that
irrelevant?"
Susila looked at him for a moment in
silence, then slowly nodded her head.
"In the context of what I have to do now - yes, completely
irrelevant! That's something I had to
learn."
"Does one learn how to forget?"
"It isn't a matter of
forgetting. What one has to learn is how
to remember and yet be free of the past.
How to be there with the dead and yet still be here, on the spot, with
the living." She gave him a sad
little smile and added, "It isn't easy."
"It isn't easy," Will
repeated. And suddenly all his defences
were down, all his pride had left him.
"Will you help me?" he asked.
"It's a bargain," she said, and
held out her hand.
A sound of footsteps made them turn their
heads. Dr MacPhail had entered the room.
CHAPTER EIGHT
"Good
evening, my dear. Good evening, Mr
Farnaby."
The tone was cheerful - not, Susila was
quick to notice, with any kind of synthetic cheerfulness, but naturally, genuinely. And yet, before coming here, he must have
stopped at the hospital, must have seen Lakshmi as Susila herself had seen her
only an hour or two since, more dreadfully emaciated than ever, more skull-like
and discoloured. Half a long lifetime of
love and loyalty and mutual forgiveness - and in another day or two it would be
all over! he would be alone. But
sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof - sufficient unto the place and the
person. "One has no right,"
her father-in-law had said to her one day as they were leaving the hospital
together, "one has no right to inflict one's sadness on other people. And no right, of course, to pretend that one
isn't sad. One just has to accept one's
grief and one's absurd attempts to be a stoic.
Accept, accept ...” His voice broke.
Looking up at him, she saw his face was wet with tears. Five minutes later they were sitting on a
bench, at the edge of the lotus pool, in the shadow of the huge stone
Buddha. With a little plop, sharp yet
liquidly voluptuous, an unseen frog dived from its round leafy platform into
the water. Thrusting up from the mud,
the thick green stems with their turgid buds broke through into the air, and
here and there the blue or rosy symbols of enlightenment had opened their
petals to the sun and the probing visitations of flies and tiny beetles and the
wild bees from the jungle. Darting,
pausing in mid-flight, darting again, a score of glittering blue and green
dragonflies were hawking for midges.
"Tathata," Dr Robert had
whispered. "Suchness."
For a long time they sat there in
silence. Then, suddenly, he had touched
her shoulder.
"Look!"
She lifted her eyes to where he was
pointing. Two small parrots had perched
on the Buddha's right hand and were going through the ritual of courtship.
"Did you stop again at the lotus
pool?" Susila asked aloud.
Dr Robert gave her a little smile and
nodded his head.
"How was Shivapuram?" Will
inquired.
"Pleasant enough in itself,"
the doctor answered. "Its only
defect is that it's so close to the outside world. Up here one can ignore all those organized
insanities, and get on with one's work.
Down there, with all the antennae and listening posts and channels of communication
that a government has to have, the outside world is perpetually breathing down
one's neck. One hears it, feels it -
yes, smells it." He wrinkled
up his face into a grimace of comic disgust.
"Has anything more than usually
disastrous happened since I've been here?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary at your
end of the world. I wish I could say the
same about our end."
"What's the trouble?"
"The trouble is our next-door
neighbour, Colonel Dipa. To begin with,
he's made another deal with the Czechs."
"More armaments?"
"Sixty million dollars' worth. It was on the radio this morning."
"But what on earth for?"
"The usual reasons. Glory and power. The pleasures of vanity and the pleasures of
bullying. Terrorism and military parades
at home; conquests and Te Deums abroad.
And that brings me to the second item of unpleasant news. Last night the Colonel delivered another of
his celebrated Greater Rendang speeches."
"Greater Rendang? What's that?"
"You may well ask," said Dr
Robert. "Greater Rendang is the
territory controlled by the Sultans of Rendang-Lobo between 1447 and 1483. It included Rendang, the Nicobar Islands,
about thirty per cent of Sumatra and the whole of Pala. Today, it's Colonel Dipa's Irredenta."
"Seriously?"
"With a perfectly straight
face. No, I'm wrong. With a purple, distorted face and at the top
of a voice that he has trained, after long practice, to sound exactly like
Hitler's. Greater Rendang or
death!"
"But the great powers would never
allow it."
"Maybe they wouldn't like to see him
in Sumatra. But Pala - that's another
matter." He shook his head. "Pala, unfortunately, is in nobody's
good books. We don't want the
Communists; but neither do we want the Capitalists. Least of all do we want the wholesale
industrialization that both parties are so anxious to impose on us - for different
reasons, of course. The West wants it
because our labour costs are low and investors' dividends will be
correspondingly high. And the East
wants it because industrialization will create a proletariat, open fresh fields
for Communist agitation and may lead in the long run to the setting up of yet
another People's Democracy. We say no to
both of you, so we're unpopular everywhere.
Regardless of their ideologies, all the Great Powers may prefer a
Rendang-controlled Pala with oil fields to an independent Pala without. If Dipa attacks us, they'll say it's most
deplorable; but they won't lift a finger.
And when he takes us over and calls the oil-men in, they'll be
delighted."
"What can you do about Colonel
Dipa?" Will asked.
"Except for passive resistance,
nothing. We have no army and no powerful
friends. The Colonel has both. The most we can do, if he starts making
trouble, is to appeal to the United Nations.
Meanwhile we shall remonstrate with the Colonel about this latest
Greater Rendang effusion. Remonstrate
through our minister in Rendang-Lobo, and remonstrate with the great man in
person when he pays his state visit to Pala ten days from now."
"A state visit?"
For the young Raja's coming-of-age
celebrations. He was asked a long time
ago, but he never let us know for certain whether he was coming or not. Today it was finally settled. We'll have a summit meeting as well as a
birthday party. But let's talk about
something more rewarding. How did you
get on today, Mr Farnaby?"
"Not merely well - gloriously. I had the honour of a visit from your
reigning monarch."
"Murugan?"
"Why didn't you tell me he was your
reigning monarch?"
Dr Robert laughed. "You might have asked for an
interview."
"Well, I didn't. Nor from the Queen Mother."
"Did the Rani come too?"
"At the command of her Little
Voice. And sure enough, the Little Voice
sent her to the right address. My boss,
Joe Aldehyde is one of her dearest friends."
"Did she tell you that she's trying
to bring your boss here, to exploit our oil?"
"She did indeed."
"We turned down his latest offer
less than a month ago. Did you know
that?"
Will was relieved to be able to answer
quite truthfully that he didn't. Neither
Joe Aldehyde nor the Rani had told him of this most recent rebuff. "My job," he went on, a little less
truthfully, "is in the wood-pulp department, not in petroleum." There was a silence. "What's my status here?" he asked
at last. "Undesirable alien?"
"Well, fortunately you're not an
armament salesman."
"Nor a missionary," said
Susila.
"Nor an oil-man - though on that
count you might be guilty of association."
"Nor even, so far as we know, a
uranium prospector."
"Those," Dr Robert concluded,
"are the Alpha Plus undesirables.
As a journalist you rank as a Beta.
Not the kind of person we should ever dream of inviting to Pala. But also not the kind who, having managed to
get here, requires to be summarily deported."
"I'd like to stay here for as long
as it's legally possible," said Will.
"May I ask why?"
Will hesitated. As Joe Aldehyde's secret agent and a reporter
with a hopeless passion for literature, he had to stay long enough to negotiate
with Bahu and earn his year of freedom.
But there were other, more avowable reasons. "If you don't object to personal
remarks," he said, "I'll tell you."
"Fire away," said Dr Robert.
"The fact is that, the more I see of
you people, the better I like you. I
want to find out more about you. And in
the process," he added, glancing at Susila, "I might find out some
interesting things about myself. How
long shall I be allowed to stay?"
"Normally we'd turn you out as soon
as you're fit to travel. But if you're
seriously interested in Pala, above all if you're seriously interested in
yourself - well, we might stretch a point.
Or shouldn't we stretch that point?
What do you say, Susila? After
all, he does work for Lord Aldehyde."
Will was on the point of protesting again
that his job was in the wood-pulp department; but the words stuck in his throat
and he said nothing. The seconds
passed. Dr Robert repeated his question.
"Yes," Susila said at last,
"we'd be taking a certain risk. But
personally ... personally I'd be ready to take it. Am I right?" She turned to Will.
"Well, I think you can trust
me. At least I hope you can." He laughed, trying to make a joke of it; but
to his annoyance and embarrassment, he felt himself blushing. Blushing for what, he demanded resentfully of
his conscience? If anybody was being
double-crossed, it was Standard of California.
And once Dipa had moved in, what difference would it make who got the
concession? Which would you rather be
eaten by - a wolf or a tiger? So far as
the lamb is concerned, it hardly seems to matter. Joe would be no worse than his
competitors. All the same, he wished he
hadn't been in such a hurry to send off that letter. And why, why couldn't that dreadful woman
have left him in peace?
Through the sheet he felt a hand on his
undamaged knee. Dr Robert was smiling
down at him.
"You can have a month here," he
said. "I'll take full
responsibility for you. And we'll do our
best to show you everything."
"I'm very grateful to you."
"When in doubt," said Dr
Robert, "always act on the assumption that people are more honourable than
you have any solid reason for supposing they are. That was the advice the Old Raja gave me when
I was a young man." Turning to
Susila, "Let's see," he said, "how old were you when the Old
Raja died?"
"Just eight."
"So you remember him pretty
well."
Susila laughed. "Could anyone ever forget the way he
used to talk about himself. 'Quote
"I" unquote like sugar in my tea.'
What a darling man."
"And what a great one!"
Dr MacPhail got up and crossing to the
bookcase that stood between the door and the wardrobe, pulled out of its lowest
shelf a thick red album, much the worse for tropical weather and fish
insects. "There's a picture of him
somewhere," he said as he turned over the pages. "Here we are."
Will found himself looking at the faded
snapshot of a little old Hindu in spectacles and a loin cloth, engaged in
emptying the contents of an extremely ornate silver sauceboat over a small
squat pillar.
"What is he doing?" he
asked.
"Anointing a phallic symbol with
melted butter," the doctor answered. "It was a habit my poor father could
never break him of."
"Did your father disapprove of
phalluses?"
"No, no," said Dr
MacPhail. "My father was all for
them. It was the symbol that he
disapproved of."
"Why the symbol?"
"Because he thought that people
ought to take their religion warm from the cow, if you see what I mean. Not skimmed or pasteurized or
homogenized. Above all not canned in any
kind of theological or liturgical container."
"And the Raja had a weakness for
containers?"
"Not for containers in general. Just this one particular tin can. He'd always felt a special attachment to the
family lingam. It was made of black
basalt, and was at least eight hundred years old."
"I see," said Will Farnaby.
"Buttering the family lingam - it
was an act of piety, it expressed a beautiful sentiment about a sublime
idea. But even the sublimest of ideas is
totally different from the cosmic mystery it's supposed to stand for. And the beautiful sentiments connected with
the sublime idea - what do they have in common with the direct experience of
the mystery? Nothing whatsoever. Needless to say, the Old Raja knew all this
perfectly well. Better than my
father. He'd drunk the milk as it came
from the cow, he'd actually been the milk. But the buttering of lingams was a devotional
practice he just couldn't bear to give up.
And I don't have to tell you, he should never have been asked to give it
up. But where symbols were concerned, my
father was a puritan. He'd amended
Goethe - Alles vergängliche ist NICHT ein Gleinchnis. His ideal was pure experimental science at
one end of the spectrum, and pure experimental mysticism at the other. Direct experience on every level and then
clear, rational statements about those experiences. Lingams and crosses, butter and holy water,
sutras, gospels, images, chanting - he'd have liked to abolish them all."
"Where would the arts have come
in?" Will questioned.
"They wouldn't have come in at
all," Dr MacPhail answered.
"And that was my father's blindest spot - poetry. He said he liked it; but in fact he
didn't. Poetry for its own sake, poetry
as an autonomous universe, out there, in the space between direct experience
and the symbols of science - that was something he simply couldn't
understand. Let's find his picture."
Dr MacPhail turned back the pages of the
album and pointed to a craggy profile with enormous eyebrows.
"What a Scotsman!" Will
commented.
"And yet his mother and his
grandmother were Palanese."
"One doesn't see a trace of
them."
"Whereas his grandfather who hailed
from Perth, might almost have passed for a Rajput."
Will peered into the ancient photograph
of a young man with an oval face and black side whiskers, leaning his elbow on
a marble pedestal on which, bottom upwards, stood his inordinately tall
top-hat.
"Your great-grandfather?"
"The first MacPhail of Pala. Dr Andrew.
Born 1822, in the Royal Burgh, where his father, James MacPhail,
owned a rope mill. Which was properly
symbolical; for James was a devout Calvinist, and being convinced that he
himself was one of the elect, derived a deep and glowing satisfaction from the
thought of all those millions of his fellow men going through life with the
noose of predestination about their necks, and Old Nobodaddy Aloft counting the
minutes to spring the trap."
Will laughed.
"Yes," Dr Robert agreed,
"it does seem pretty comic. But it
didn't then. Then it was serious - much
more serious than the H-bomb is today.
It was known for certain that ninety-nine point nine per cent of the
human race were condemned to everlasting brimstone. Why?
Either because they'd never heard of Jesus; or, if they had, because
they couldn't believe sufficiently strongly that Jesus had delivered them from
the brimstone. And the proof that they
didn't believe sufficiently strongly was the empirical, observable face that
their souls were not at peace. Perfect
faith is defined as something that produces perfect peace of mind. But perfect peace of mind is something that
practically nobody possesses. Therefore
practically nobody possesses perfect faith.
Therefore practically everybody is predestined to eternal
punishment. Quod erat demonstrandum."
"One wonders," said Susila,
"why they didn't all go mad."
"Fortunately most of them believed
only with the tops of their heads. Up
here." Dr MacPhail tapped his bald
spot. "With the tops of their heads
they were convinced it was the Truth with the largest possible T. But their glands and their guts knew better -
knew that it was all sheer bosh. For
most of them, Truth was true only on Sundays, and then only in a strictly
Pickwickian sense. James MacPhail knew
all this and was determined that his children should not be mere
Sabbath-day believers. They were to
believe every word of the sacred nonsense even on Mondays, even on half-holiday
afternoons; and they were to believe with their whole being, not merely up
there, in the attic. Perfect faith and
the perfect peace that goes with it were to be forced into them. How?
By giving them hell now and threatening them with hell hereafter. And if, in their devilish perversity, they
refused to have perfect faith, and be at peace, give them more hell and
threaten hotter fires. And meanwhile
tell them that good works are as filthy rags in the sight of God; but punish
them ferociously for every misdemeanour.
Tell them that by nature they're totally depraved, then beat them for
being what they inescapably are."
Will Farnaby turned back to the album.
"Do you have a picture of this
delightful ancestor of yours?"
"We had an oil painting," said
Dr MacPhail. "But the dampness was
too much for the canvas, and then the fish insects got into it. He was a splendid specimen. Like a High Renaissance picture of
Jeremiah. You know - majestic, with an
inspired eye and the kind of prophetic beard that covers such a multitude of
physiognomic sins. The only relic of him
that remains is a pencil drawing of his house."
He turned back another page and there it
was.
"Solid granite," he went on,
"with bars on all the windows. And,
inside that cosy little family Bastille, what systematic inhumanity! Systematic inhumanity in the name, needless
to say, of Christ and for righteousness' sake.
Dr Andew left an unfinished autobiography, so we know all about
it."
"Didn't the children get any help
from their mother?"
Dr MacPhail shook his head.
"Janet MacPhail was a Cameron and as
good a Calvinist as James himself. Being
a woman, she had further to go, she had more instinctive decencies to
overcome. But she did overcome them - heroically. Far from restraining her husband, she urged
him on, she backed him up. There were
homilies before breakfast and at the midday dinner; there was the catechism on
Sundays and learning the epistles by heart; and every evening, when the day's
delinquencies had been added up and assessed, methodical whipping, with a
whalebone riding switch on the bare buttocks, for all six children, girls as
well as boys, in order of seniority."
"It always makes me feel slightly
sick," said Susila. "Pure
sadism."
"No, not pure," said Dr
MacPhail. "Applied sadism. Sadism with an ulterior motive, sadism in the
service of an ideal, as the expression of a religious conviction. And that's a subject," he added, turning
to Will, "that somebody ought to make a historical study of - the
relations between theology and corporal punishment in childhood. I have a theory that, wherever little boys
and girls are systematically flagellated, the victims grow up to think of God
as 'Wholly Other' - isn't that the fashionable argot in your part of the
world? Wherever, on the contrary,
children are brought up without being subjected to physical violence, God is
immanent. A people's theology reflects
the state of its children’s bottoms.
Look at the Hebrews - enthusiastic childbeaters. And so were all good Christians in the Ages
of Faith. Hence Jehovah, hence Original
Sin and the infinitely offended Father of Roman and Protestant orthodoxy. Whereas among Buddhists and Hindus education
has always been non-violent. No
laceration of little buttocks - therefore Tat tvam asi, thou art That,
mind from Mind is not divided. And look
at the Quakers. They were heretical
enough to believe in the Inner Light, and what happened? They gave up beating their children and were
the first Christian denomination to protest against the institution of
slavery."
"But child-beating," Will
objected, "has quite gone out of fashion nowadays. And yet it's precisely at this moment that it
has become modish to hold forth about the Wholly Other."
Dr MacPhail waved the objection
away. "It's just a case of reaction
following action. By the second half of
the nineteenth century free-thinking humanitarianism had become so strong that
even good Christians were influenced by it and stopped beating their children. There were no weals on the younger
generation's posterior; consequently it ceased to think of God as the Wholly
Other and proceeded to invent New Thought, Unity, Christian Science - all the
semi-Oriental heresies in which God is the Wholly Identical. The movement was well under way in William
James' day, and it's been gathering momentum ever since. But thesis always invites antithesis and in
due course the heresies begat Neo-Orthodoxy.
Down with the Wholly Identical and back to the Wholly Other! Back to Augustine, back to Martin Luther -
back, in a word, to the two most relentlessly flagellated bottoms in the whole
history of Christian thought. Read the Confessions,
read the Table Talk. Augustine
was beaten by his schoolmaster and laughed at by his parents when he
complained. Luther was systematically
flogged not only by his teachers and his father, but even by his loving
mother. The world has been paying for
the scars on his buttocks ever since.
Prussianism and the Third Reich - without Luther and his
flagellation-theology these monstrosities could never have come into
existence. Or take the
flagellation-theology of Augustine, as carried to its logical conclusions
Calvin and swallowed whole by pious folk like James MacPhail and Janet
Cameron. Major premise: God is Wholly
Other. Minor premise: man is totally
depraved. Conclusion: Do to your
children's bottoms what was done to yours, what your Heavenly Father has been
doing to the collective bottom of humanity ever since the Fall: whip, whip, whip!"
There was a silence. Will Farnaby looked again at the drawing of
the granite person in the rope-walk, and thought of all the grotesque and ugly
phantasies promoted to the rank of supernatural facts, all the obscene cruelties
inspired by those phantasies, all the pain inflicted and the miseries endured
because of them. And when it wasn't
Augustine with his 'benignant asperity', it was Robespierre, it was Stalin;
when it wasn't Luther exhorting the princes to kill the peasants, it was genial
Mao reducing them to slavery.
"Don't you sometimes despair?"
he asked.
Dr MacPhail shook his head. "We don't despair," he said,
"because we know that things don't necessarily have to be as bad as
in fact they've always been."
"We know that they can be a great deal
better," Susila added. "Know
it because they already are a great deal better, here and now, on this
absurd little island."
"But whether we shall be able to
persuade you people to follow our example, or whether we shall even be able to
preserve our tiny oasis of humanity in the midst of your world-wide wilderness
of monkeys - that, alas," said Dr MacPhail, "is another
question. One's justified in feeling
extremely pessimistic about the current situation. But despair, radical despair - no, I can't
see any justification for that."
"Not even when you read
history?"
"Not even when I read history."
"I envy you. How do you manage to do it?"
"By remembering what history is -
the record of what human beings have been impelled to do by their ignorance and
the enormous bumptiousness that makes them canonize their ignorance as a
political or religious dogma." He
turned again to the album. "Let's
get back to that house in the Royal Burgh, back to James and Janet, and the six
children whom Calvin's God, in his inscrutable malevolence, had condemned to
their tender mercies. 'The rod and
reproof bring wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to
shame.' Indoctrination reinforced by
psychological stress and physical torture - the perfect Pavlovian set-up. But, unfortunately for organized religion and
political dictatorship, human beings are much less reliable as laboratory
animals than dogs. On Tom, Mary and Jean
the conditioning worked as it was meant to work. Tom became a minister, and Mary married a
minister and duly died in childbirth.
Jean stayed at home, nursed her mother through a long grim cancer and
for the next twenty years was slowly sacrificed to the ageing and finally
senile and drivelling patriarch. So far,
so good. But with Annie, the fourth
child, the pattern changed. Annie was
pretty. At eighteen she was proposed to
by a captain of dragoons. But the captain
was an Anglican and his views on total depravity and God's good pleasure were
criminally incorrect. The marriage was
forbidden. It looked as though Annie
were predestined to share the fate of Jean.
She stuck it out for ten years; then, at twenty-eight, she got herself
seduced by the second mate of an East Indiaman.
There were seven weeks of almost frantic happiness - the first she had
ever known. Her face was transfigured by
a kind of supernatural beauty, her body glowed with life. Then the Indiaman sailed for a two-year
voyage for Madras and Macao. Four months
later, pregnant, friendless, and despairing, Annie threw herself into the
Tay. Meanwhile Alexander, the next in
line, had run away from school and joined a company of actors. In the house by the rope-walk nobody,
thenceforward, was ever allowed to refer to his existence. And finally there was Andrew, the youngest,
the Benjamin. What a model child! He was obedient, he loved his lessons, he
learned the Epistles by heart faster and more accurately than any of the other
children had done. Then, just in time to
restore her faith in human wickedness, his mother caught him one evening
playing with his genitals. He was
whipped till the blood came; was caught again a few weeks later and again
whipped, sentenced to solitary confinement on bread and water, told that he had
almost certainly committed the sin against the Holy Ghost and that it was
undoubtedly on account of that sin that his mother had been afflicted with
cancer. For the rest of his childhood
Andrew was haunted by recurrent nightmares of hell. Haunted, too, by recurrent temptations and,
when he succumbed to them - which of course he did, but always in the privacy
of the latrine at the bottom of the garden - by yet more terrifying visions of
the punishments in store for him."
"And to think," Will Farnaby
commented, "to think that people complain about modern life having no
meaning! Look what life was like when it
did have a meaning. A tale told
by an idiot, or a tale told by a Calvinist?
Give me the idiot every time."
"Agreed," said Dr
MacPhail. "But mightn't there be a
third possibility? Mightn't there be a
tale told by somebody who is neither an imbecile nor a paranoiac?"
"Somebody, for a change, completely
sane," said Susila.
"Yes, for a change," Dr
MacPhail repeated. "For a blessed
change. And luckily, even under the old
dispensation, there were always plenty of people whom even the most diabolic
upbringing couldn't ruin. By all the
rules of the Freudian and Pavolvian games, my great-grandfather ought to have
grown up to be a mental cripple. In
fact, he grew up to be a mental athlete.
Which only shows," Dr Robert added parenthetically, "how
hopelessly inadequate your two highly touted systems of psychology really
are. Freudianism and Behaviourism -
poles apart but in complete agreement when it comes to the facts of the
build-in, congenital differences between individuals. How do your pet psychologists deal with these
facts? Very simply. They ignore them. They blandly pretend that the facts aren't
there. Hence their complete inability to
cope with the human situation as it really exists, or even to explain it
theoretically. Look at what happened,
for example, in this particular case.
Andrew's brothers and sisters were either tamed by their conditioning,
or destroyed. Andrew was neither
destroyed nor tamed. Why? Because the roulette wheel of heredity had
stopped turning at a lucky number. He
had a more resilient constitution than the others, a different anatomy,
different biochemistry and different temperament. His parents did their worst, as they had done
with all the rest of their unfortunate brood.
Andrew came through with flying colours, almost without a scar."
"In spite of the sin against the
Holy Ghost?"
"That, happily, was something he got
rid of during his first year of medical studies at Edinburgh. He was only a boy - just over seventeen. (They started young in those days.) In the dissecting room the boy found himself
listening to the extravagant obscenities and blasphemies with which his fellow
students kept up their spirits among the slowly rotting cadavers. Listening at first with horror, with a
sickening fear that God would surely take vengeance. But nothing happened. The blasphemers flourished, the loud-mouthed
fornicators escaped with nothing worse than a dose, every now and then, of the
clap. Fear gave place in Andrew's mind
to a wonderful sense of relief and deliverance.
Greatly daring, he began to risk a few ribald jokes of his own. His first utterance of a four-letter word -
what a liberation, what a genuinely religious experience! And meanwhile, in his spare time, he read Tom
Jones, he read Hume's Essay on Miracles, he read the infidel Gibbon. Putting the French he had learned at school
to good account, he read La Mettrie, he read Dr Cabanis. Man is a machine, the brain secretes thought
as the liver secretes bile. How simple
it all was, how luminously obvious! With
all the fervour of a convert at a revival meeting, he decided for atheism. In the circumstances it was only to be
expected. You can't stomach St Augustine
any more, you can't go on repeating the Athanasian rigmarole. So you pull the plug and send them down the
drain. What bliss! But not for very long. Something, you discover, is missing. The experimental baby was flushed out with
the theological dirt and soapsuds. But
nature abhors a vacuum. Bliss gives
place to a chronic discomfort, and now you're afflicted, generation after
generation, by a succession of Wesleys, Puseys, Moodies and Billies - Sunday
and Graham - all working like beavers to pump the theology back out of the cesspool. They hope, of course, to recover the
baby. But they never succeed. All that a revivalist can do is siphon up a
little of the dirty water. Which, in due
course, has to be thrown out again. And
so on, indefinitely. It's really too
boring and, as Dr Andrew came at last to realize, wholly unnecessary. Meanwhile here he was, in the first flush of
his new-found freedom. Excited, exultant
- but quietly excited, exultant behind that appearance of grave and courteous
detachment which he habitually presented to the world."
"What about his father?" Will
asked. "Did they have a
battle?"
"No battle. Andrew didn't have battles. He was the sort of man ho always goes his own
way, but doesn't advertise the fact, doesn't argue with people who prefer another
road. The old man was never given the
opportunity of putting on his Jeremiah act.
Andrew kept his mouth shut about Hume and Le Mettrie, and went through
the traditional motions. But when his
training was finished, he just didn't come home. Instead, he went to London and signed up, as
surgeon and naturalist on H.M.S. Melampus, bound for the South Seas with
orders to chart, survey, collect specimens, and protect Protestant missionaries
and British interests. The cruise of the
Melampus lasted for a full three years.
They called at Tahiti, they spent two months on Samoa and a month in the
Marquesas group. After Perth, the
islands seemed like Eden - but an Eden innocent unfortunately not only of
Calvinism and capitalism and industrial slums, but also of Shakespeare and
Mozart, also of scientific knowledge and logical thinking. It was paradise, but it wouldn't do, it
wouldn't do. They sailed on. They visited Fiji and the Carolines and the
Solomons. They charted the northern
coast of New Guinea and, in Borneo, a party went ashore, trapped a pregnant
orang-utan and climbed to the top of Mount Kinabalu. Then followed a week at Pannoy, a fortnight
in the Mergui Archipelago. After which
they headed West to the Andamans and from the Andamans to the mainland of
India. While ashore, my
great-grandfather was thrown from his horse and broke his right leg. The captain of the Melampus found
another surgeon and sailed for home. Two
months later, as good as new, Andrew was practising medicine at Madras. Doctors were scarce in those days and
sickness fearfully common. The young man
began to prosper. But life among the
merchants and officials of the Presidency was oppressively boring. It was an exile, an exile without adventure
or strangeness, a banishment merely to the provinces, to the tropical
equivalent of Swansea or Huddersfield.
But still he resisted the temptation to book a passage on the next
homebound ship. If he stuck it out for
five years, he would have enough money to buy a good practice in Edinburgh -
no, in London, in the West End. The
future beckoned, rosy and golden. There
would be a wife, preferably with auburn hair and a modest competence. There would be four or five children - happy,
unwhipped and atheistic. And his
practice would grow, his patients would be drawn from circles ever more
exalted. Wealth, reputation, dignity,
even a knighthood. Sir Andrew MacPhail
stepping out of his brougham in Belgrave Square. The great Sir Andrew, physician to the
Queen. Summoned to St Petersburg to operate
on the Grand Duke, to the Tuileries, to the Vatican, to the Sublime Porte. Delightful phantasies! But the facts, as it turned out, were to be
far more interesting. One fine morning a
brown-skinned stranger called at his surgery.
In halting English he gave an account of himself. He was from Pala and had been commanded by
His Highness, the Raja, to seek out and bring back with him a skilful surgeon
from the West. The rewards would be
princely. Princely, he
insisted. There and then Dr Andrew accepted
the invitation. Partly, of course, for
the money; but mostly because he was bored, because he needed a change, needed
a taste of adventure. A trip to the
Forbidden Island - the lure was irresistible."
"And remember," Susila
interjected, "in those days Pala was much more forbidden than it is
now."
"So you can imagine how eagerly
young Dr Andrew jumped at the opportunity now offered by the Raja's
ambassador. Ten days later his ship
dropped anchor off the north coast of the forbidden island. With his medicine chest, his bag of
instruments and a small tin trunk containing his clothes and a few
indispensable books, he was rowed in an outrigger canoe through the pounding
surf, carried in a palanquin through the streets of Shivapuram and set down in
the inner courtyard of the royal palace.
His royal patient was eagerly awaiting him. Without being given time to shave or change
his clothes, Dr Andrew was ushered into the presence - the pitiable presence of
a small brown man in his early forties, terribly emaciated under his rich
brocades, his face so swollen and distorted as to be barely human, his voice
reduced to a hoarse whisper. Dr Andrew
examined him. From the maxillary antrum,
where it had its roots, a tumour had spread in all directions. It had filled the nose, it had pushed up into
the socket of the right eye, it had half-blocked the throat. Breathing had become difficult, swallowing
acutely painful and sleep an impossibility - for whenever he dropped off, the
patient would choke and wake up frantically struggling for air. Without radical surgery, it was obvious, the
Raja would be dead within a couple of months.
With radical surgery, much sooner. Those were the good old days, remember - the
good old days of septic operations without benefit of chloroform. Even in the most favourable circumstances
surgery was fatal to one patient out of four.
When conditions were less propitious, the odds declined - fifty-fifty,
thirty to seventy, zero to a hundred. In
the present case the prognosis could hardly have been worse. The patient was already weak and the
operation would be long, difficult and excruciatingly painful. There was a good chance that he would die on
the operating table and a virtual certainty that, if he survived, it would only
be to die a few days later of blood poisoning.
But if he should die, Dr Andrew now reflected, what would be the fate of
the alien surgeon who had killed a king?
And, during the operation, who would hold the royal patient down while
he writhed under the knife? Which of his
servants or courtiers would have the strength of mind to disobey, when the
master screamed in agony or positively commanded them to let go?
"Perhaps the wisest thing would be
to say, here and now, that the case was hopeless, that he could do nothing, and
ask to be sent back to Madras forthwith.
Then he looked again at the sick man.
Through the grotesque mask of his poor deformed face the Raja was
looking at him intently - looking with the eyes of a condemned criminal begging
the judge for mercy. Touched by the
appeal, Dr Andrew gave him a smile of encouragement and all at once, as he
patted the thin hand, he had an idea. It
was absurd, crack-brained, thoroughly discreditable; but all the same, all the
same ..."
"Five years before, he suddenly
remembered, while he was still at Edinburgh, there had been an article in the Lancet,
an article denouncing the notorious Professor Elliotson for his advocacy of
animal magnetism. Elliotson had had the
effrontery to talk of painless operations performed on patients in the mesmeric
trance.
"The man was either a gullible fool
or an unscrupulous knave. The so-called
evidence for such nonsense was manifestly worthless. It was all sheer humbug, quackery, downright
fraud - and so on for six columns of righteous indignation. At the time - for he was still full of La
Mettrie and Hume and Cabanis - Dr Andrew had read the article with a glow of
orthodox approval. After which he had
forgotten about the very existence of animal magnetism. Now, at the Raja's bedside, it all came back
to him - the mad Professor, the magnetic passes, the amputations without pain,
the low death-rate, and rapid recoveries.
Perhaps, after all, there might be something in it. He was deep in these thoughts, when, breaking
a long silence, the sick man spoke to him.
From a young sailor who had deserted his ship at Rendang-Lobo and
somehow made his way across the strait, the Raja had learned to speak English
with remarkable fluency, but also, in faithful imitation of his teacher, with a
strong cockney accent. That cockney
accent," Dr MacPhail repeated with a little laugh. "It turns up again and again in my
great-grandfather's memoirs. There was
something, to him, inexpressibly improper about a king who spoke like Sam
Weller. And in this case the impropriety
was more than merely social. Besides
being a king, the Raja was a man of intellect and the most exquisite
refinement; a man, not only of deep religious convictions (any crude oaf can
have deep religious convictions), but also of deep religious experience and
spiritual insight. That such a man
should express himself in cockney was something that an Early Victorian
Scotsman who had read The Pickwick Papers could never get over. Nor, in spite of all my great-grandfather's
tactful coaching, could the Raja ever get over his impure diphthongs and
dropped aitches. But all that was in the
future. At their first tragic meeting,
that shocking, lower-class accent seemed strangely touching. Laying the palms of his hands together in a
gesture of supplication, the sick man whispered, ''Elp me, Dr MacPhail, 'elp
me.'
"The appeal was decisive. Without any further hesitation, Dr Andrew
took the Raja's thin hands between his own and began to speak in the most
confident tone about a wonderful new treatment recently discovered in Europe
and employed as yet by only a handful of the most eminent physicians. Then, turning to the attendants who had been
hovering all this time in the background, he ordered them out of the room. They did not understand the words; but his
tone and accompanying gestures were unmistakably clear. They bowed and withdrew. Dr Andrew took off his coat, rolled up his
shirt sleeves and started to make those famous magnetic passes, about which he
had read with so much sceptical amusement in the Lancet. From the crown of the head, over the face and
down the trunk to the epigastrium, again and again until the patient falls into
a trance - 'or until' (he remembered the derisive comments of the anonymous
writer of the article) 'until the presiding charlatan shall choose to say that
his dupe is now under the magnetic influence.'
Quackery, humbug, and fraud. But
all the same, all the same ... He worked away in silence. Twenty passes, fifty passes. The sick man sighed and closed his eyes. Sixty, eighty, a hundred, a hundred and
twenty. The heat was stifling, Dr
Andrew's shirt was drenched with sweat, and his arms ached. Grimly he repeated the same absurd
gesture. A hundred and fifty, a hundred
and seventy-five, two hundred. It was
all fraud and humbug; but all the same he was determined to make this poor
devil go to sleep, even if it took him the whole day to do it. 'You are going to sleep,' he said aloud as he
made the two hundred and eleventh pass.
'You are going to sleep.' The
sick man seemed to sink more deeply into his pillows, and suddenly Dr Andrew
caught the sound of a rattling wheeze.
'This time,' he added quickly, 'you are not going to choke. There's plenty of room for the air to pass,
and you're not going to choke.' The
Raja's breathing grew quite quiet. Dr
Andrew made a few more passes, then decided that it would be safe to take a
rest. He mopped his face, then rose,
stretched his arms and took a couple of turns up and down the room. Sitting down again by the bed, he took one of
the Raja's stick-like wrists and felt for the pulse. An hour before it had been running at almost
a hundred; now the rate had fallen to seventy.
He raised his arm; the hand hung limp like a dead man's. He let go, and the arm dropped by its own
weight and lay, inert and unmoving, where it had fallen. 'Your Highness,' he said, and again, more
loudly, 'Your Highness.' There was no
answer. It was all quackery, humbug, and
fraud, but all the same it worked, it obviously worked."
A large, brightly coloured mantis
fluttered down on to the rail at the foot of the bed, folded its pink and white
wings, raised its small flat head and stretched out its incredibly muscular
front legs in the attitude of prayer. Dr
MacPhail pulled out a magnifying glass and bent forward to examine it.
"Gongylus gongyloides,"
he pronounced. "It dresses itself
up to look like a flower. When unwary
flies and moths come sailing in to sip the nectar, it sips them. And if it's a female, she eats her
lovers." He put the glass away and
leaned back in his chair. Gongylus
gongyloides, Homo sapiens, my great-grandfather's introduction to Pala and
hypnosis - what could be more unlikely?"
"Nothing," said Will. "Except perhaps my introduction
to Pala and hypnosis, Pala via a shipwreck and a precipice; hypnosis by way of
a soliloquy about an English cathedral."
Susila laughed. "Fortunately I didn't have to make all
those passes over you. In this
climate! I really admire Dr Andrew. It sometimes takes three hours to
anaesthetize with the passes."
"But in the end he succeeded?"
"Triumphantly."
"And did he actually perform the
operation?"
"Yes, he actually performed the
operation," said Dr MacPhail.
"But not immediately. There
had to be a long preparation. Dr Andrew
began by telling his patient that henceforward he would be able to swallow
without pain. Then, for the next three
weeks, he fed him up. And between meals
he put him into trance and kept him asleep until it was time for another
feeding. It's wonderful what your body
will do for you if you only give it a chance.
The Raja gained twelve pounds and felt like a new man. A new man full of hope and confidence. He knew he was going to come through
his ordeal. And so, incidentally, did Dr
Andrew. In the process of fortifying the
Raja's faith, he had fortified his own.
It was not a blind faith. The
operation, he felt quite certain, was going to be successful. But this unshakeable confidence did not
prevent him from doing everything that might contribute to its success. Very early in the proceedings he started to
work on the trance. The trance, he kept
telling his patient, was becoming deeper every day, and on the day of the operation
it would be much deeper than it had ever been before. It would also last longer. 'You'll sleep,' he assured the Raja, 'for
four full hours after the operation's over; and when you awake, you won't feel
the slightest pain.' Dr Andrew made
these affirmations with a mixture of total scepticism and complete
confidence. Reason and past experience
assured him that all this was impossible.
But in the present context past experience had proved to be
irrelevant. The impossible had already
happened, several times. There was no
reason why it shouldn't happen again.
The important thing was to say that it would happen - so he said
it, again and again. And this was good;
but better still was Dr Andrew's invention of the rehearsal."
"Rehearsal of what?"
"Of the surgery. They ran through the procedure half a dozen
times. The last rehearsal was on the
morning of the operation. At six, Dr
Andrew came to the Raja's room and, after a little cheerful talk, began to make
the passes. In a few minutes the patient
was in deep trance. Stage by stage, Dr
Andrew described what he was going to do.
Touching the cheekbone near the Raja's right eye, he said, 'I begin by
stretching the skin. And now, with this
scalpel' (and he drew the tip of a pencil across the cheek), 'I make an
incision. You feel no pain, of course -
not even the slightest discomfort. And
now the underlying tissues are being cut and you still feel nothing at
all. You just lie there, comfortably
asleep, while I dissect the cheek back to the nose. Every now and then I stop to tie a blood
vessel; then I go on again. And when
that part of the work is done, I'm ready to start on the tumour. It has its roots there in the antrum and it
has grown upwards, under the cheekbone, into the eye socket, and downwards in
the gullet. And as I cut it loose, you
lie there as before, feeling nothing, perfectly comfortable, completely
relaxed. And now I lift your head.' Suiting his action to the words, he lifted
the Raja's head and bent it forward on the limp neck. 'I lift it and bend it so that you can get
rid of the blood that's run down into your mouth and throat. Some of the blood has got into your windpipe,
and you cough a little to get rid of it; but it doesn't wake you.' The Raja coughed once or twice, then, when Dr
Andrew released his hold, dropped back on to the pillows, still fast
asleep. 'And you don't choke even when I
work on the lower end of the tumour in your gullet.' Dr Andrew opened the Raja's mouth and thrust
two fingers down his throat. 'It's just
a question of pulling it loose, that's all.
Nothing in that to make you choke.
And if you have to cough up the blood, you can do it in your sleep. Yes, in your sleep, in this deep, deep
sleep.'
"That was the end of the
rehearsal. Ten minutes later, after
making some more passes and telling his patient to sleep still more deeply, Dr
Andrew began the operation. He stretched
the skin, he made the incision, the dissected the cheek, he cut the tumour away
from its roots in the antrum. The Raja
lay there perfectly relaxed, his pulse firm and steady at seventy-five, feeling
no more pain than he had felt during the make-believe of the rehearsal. Dr Andrew worked on the throat; there was no
choking. The blood flowed into the
windpipe; the Raja coughed but did not awake.
Four hours after the operation was over, he was still sleeping; then,
punctual to the minute, he opened his eyes, smiled at Dr Andrew between his
bandages and asked, in his sing-song cockney, when the operation was to
start. After a feeding and a sponging,
he was given some more passes and told to sleep for four more hours and to get
well quickly. Dr Andrew kept it up for a
full week. Sixteen hours of trance each
day, eight of waking. The Raja suffered
almost no pain and, in spite of the thoroughly septic conditions under which
the operation had been performed and the dressings renewed, the wounds healed
without suppuration. Remembering the
horrors he had witnessed in the Edinburgh Infirmary, the yet more frightful
horrors of the surgical wards at Madras, Dr Andrew could hardly believe his
eyes. And now he was given another
opportunity to prove to himself what animal magnetism could do. The Raja's eldest daughter was in the ninth
month of her first pregnancy. Impressed
by what he had done for her husband, the Rani sent for Dr Andrew. He found her sitting with a frail frightened
girl of sixteen, who knew just enough broken cockney to be able to tell him she
was going to die - she and her baby too.
Three black birds had confirmed it by flying on three successive days
across her path. Dr Andrew did not try
to argue with her. Instead, he asked her
to lie down, then started to make the passes.
Twenty minutes later the girl was in a deep trance. In his country, Dr Andrew now assured
her, black birds were lucky - a presage of birth and joy. She would bear her child easily and without
pain. Yes, with no more pain than her
father had felt during his operation. No
pain at all, he promised, no pain whatsoever.
"Three days later, and after three
or four more hours of intensive suggestion, it all came true. When the Raja woke up for his evening meal,
he found his wife sitting by his bed.
'We have a grandson,' she said, 'and our daughter is well. Dr Andrew has said that tomorrow you may be
carried to her room, to give them both your blessing.' At the end of a month the Raja dissolved the
Council of Regency and resumed his royal powers. Resumed them, in gratitude to the man who had
saved his life and (the Rani was convinced of it) his daughter's life as well,
with Dr Andrew as his chief adviser."
"So he didn't go back to
Madras?"
"Not to Madras. Not even to London. He stayed here in Pala."
"Trying to change the Raja's
accent?"
"And trying, rather more
successfully, to change the Raja's kingdom."
"Into what?"
"That was a question he couldn't
have answered. In those early days he
had no plan - only a set of likes and dislikes.
There were things about Pala that he liked, and plenty of others that he
didn't like at all. Things about Europe
that he detested and things he passionately approved of. Things he had seen on his travels that seemed
to make good sense, and things that filled him with disgust. People, he was beginning to understand, are
at once the beneficiaries and the victims of their culture. It brings them to flower; but it also nips them
in the bud or plants a canker at the heart of the blossom. Might it not be possible, on this forbidden
island, to avoid the cankers, minimize the nippings and make the individual
blooms more beautiful? That was the
question to which, implicitly at first, then with a growing awareness of what
they were really up to, Dr Raja and Dr Andrew were trying to find an
answer."
"And did they find an
answer?"
"Looking back," said Dr
MacPhail, "one's amazed by what those two men accomplished. The Scottish doctor and the Palanese king,
the Calvinist-turned-atheist and the pious Mahayana Buddhist - what a strangely
assorted pair! But a pair, very soon, of
firm friends; a pair, moreover, of complementary temperaments and talents, with
complementary philosophies and complementary stocks of knowledge, each man
supplying the other's deficiencies, each stimulating and fortifying the other's
native capacities. The Raja's was an
acute and subtle mind; but he knew nothing of the world beyond the confines of
his island, nothing of physical science, nothing of European technology,
European art, European ways of thinking.
No less intelligent, Dr Andrew knew nothing, of course, about Indian
painting and poetry and philosophy. He
also knew nothing, as he gradually discovered, about the science of the human
mind and the art of living. In the
months that followed the operation each became the other's pupil and the
other's teacher. And of course that was only a beginning. They were not merely private citizens
concerned with their private improvement.
The Raja had a million subjects and Dr Andrew was virtually his Prime
Minister. Private improvement was to be
the preliminary to public improvement.
If the king and the doctor were now teaching one another to make the
best of both worlds - the Oriental and the European, the ancient and the modern
- it was in order to help the whole nation to do the same. To make the best of both worlds - what am I
saying? To make the best of all
the worlds - the worlds already realized within the various cultures and,
beyond them, the worlds of still unrealized potentialities. It was an enormous ambition, an ambition
totally impossible of fulfilment; but at least it had the merit of spurring
them on, of making them rush in where angels feared to tread - with results
that sometimes proved, to everybody's astonishment, that they had not been
quite such fools as they looked. They
never succeeded, of course, in making the best of all the worlds; but by dint
of boldly trying, they made the best of many more worlds than any merely
prudent or sensible person would have dreamed of being able to reconcile and
combine."
"'If the fool would persist in his
folly,'" Will quoted from The Proverbs of Hell, "'he would
become wise.'"
"Precisely," Dr Robert
agreed. "And the most extravagant
folly of all is the folly described by Blake, the folly that the Raja and Dr
Andrew were now contemplating - the enormous folly of trying to make a marriage
between hell and heaven. But if you
persist in that enormous folly, what an enormous reward! Provided, of course, that you persist
intelligently. Stupid fools get nowhere;
it's only the knowledgeable and clever ones whose folly can make them wise or
produce good results. Fortunately these
two fools were clever. Clever
enough, for example, to embark on their folly in a modest and appealing
way. They began with pain
relievers. The Palanese were
Buddhists. They knew how misery is
related to mind. You cling, you crave,
you assert yourself - and you live in a home-made hell. You become detached - and you live in
peace. 'I show you sorrow,' the Buddha
had said, 'and I show you the ending of sorrow.' Well, here was Dr Andrew with a special kind
of mental detachment which would put an end at least to one kind of sorrow,
namely physical pain. With the Raja
himself or, for the women, the Rani and her daughter acting as interpreters, Dr
Andrew gave lessons in his new-found art to groups of midwives and physicians,
of teachers, mothers, invalids. Painless
childbirth - and forthwith all the women of Pala were enthusiastically on the
side of the innovators. Painless
operations for stone and cataract and haemorrhoids - and they had won the
approval of all the old and the ailing.
At one stroke more than half the adult population became their allies,
prejudiced in their favour, friendly in advance, or at least open-minded,
towards the next reform."
"Where did they go from pain?"
Will asked.
"To agriculture and language. They got a man out from England to establish
Rothamsted-in-the-Tropics, and they set to work to give the Palanese a second
language. Pala was to remain a forbidden
island; for Dr Andrew wholeheartedly agreed with the Raja that missionaries,
planters, and traders were far too dangerous to be tolerated. But while the foreign subversives must not be
allowed to come in, the natives must somehow be helped to get out - if not
physically, at least with their minds.
But their language and their archaic version of the Brahmi alphabet were
a prison without windows. There could be
no escape for them, no glimpse of the outside world until they had learned
English and could read the Latin script.
Among the courtiers, the Raja's linguistic accomplishments had already
set a fashion. Ladies and gentlemen
larded their conversation with scraps of cockney, and some of them even sent to
Cylon [Sri Lanka] for English-speaking tutors.
What had been a mode was now transformed into a policy. English schools were set up and a staff of
Bengali printers, with their presses and their founts of Caslon and Bodoni,
were imported from Calcutta. The first
English book to be published at Shivapuram was a selection from The Arabian
Nights, the second, a translation from The Diamond Sutra, hitherto
available only in Sanskrit and in manuscript.
For those who wished to read about Sinbad and Marouf, and for those who
were interested in the Wisdom of the Other Shore, there were now two cogent
reasons for learning English. That was
the beginning of the long educational process that turned us at last into a
bi-lingual people. We speak Palanese
when we're cooking, when we're telling funny stories, when we're talking about
love or making it. (Incidentally, we
have the richest erotic and sentimental vocabulary in South-East Asia.) But when it comes to business, or science, or
speculative philosophy, we generally speaking English. And most of us prefer to write in
English. Every writer needs a literature
as his frame of reference; a set of models to conform to or to depart
from. Pala had good painting and
sculpture, splendid architecture, wonderful dancing, subtle and expressive
music - but no real literature, no national poets or dramatists or story
tellers. Just bards reciting Buddhist
and Hindu myths; just a lot of monks preaching sermons and splitting
metaphysical hairs. Adopting English as
our stepmother tongue, we gave ourselves a literature with one of the longest
pasts and certainly the widest of presents.
We gave ourselves a background, a spiritual yardstick, a repertory of
styles and techniques, an inexhaustible source of inspiration. In a word, we gave ourselves the possibility
of being creative in a field where we had never been creative before. Thanks to the Raja and my great-grandfather,
there's an Anglo-Palanese literature - of which, I may add, Susila here is a
contemporary light."
"On the dim side," she
protested.
Dr MacPhail shut his eyes and, smiling to
himself, began to recite:
"Thus-Gone
to Thus-Gone, I with a Buddha's hand
Offer the unplucked flower, the frog's soliloquy
Among the lotus leaves, the milk-smeared
mouth
At my full breast and love and, like the
cloudless
Sky that makes possible mountains and setting
moon.
This emptiness that is the womb of love,
This poetry of silence."
He opened his eyes again. "And not only this poetry of
silence," he said. "This
science, this philosophy, this theology of silence. And now it's high time you went to
sleep." He rose and moved towards
the door. "I'll go and get you a
glass of fruit juice."
CHAPTER NINE
"Patriotism is not enough. But neither is anything else. Science is not enough, religion is not
enough, art is not enough, politics and economics are not enough, nor is love,
nor is duty, nor is action however disinterested, nor, however sublime, is
contemplation. Nothing short of
everything will really do."
"Attention!" shouted a far-away
bird.
Will looked at his watch. Five to twelve. He closed his Notes on What's What and
picking up the bamboo alpenstock which had once belonged to Dugald MacPhail, he
set out to keep his appointment with Vijaya and Dr Robert. By the short cut the main building of the
Experimental Station was less than a quarter of a mile from Dr Robert's
bungalow. But the day was oppressively
hot, and there were two flights of steps to be negotiated. For a convalescent with his right leg in a
splint, it was a considerable journey.
Slowly, painfully, Will made his way
along the winding path and up the steps.
At the top of the second flight he halted to take breath and mop his
forehead; then keeping close to the wall, where there was still a narrow strip
of shade, he moved on towards a signboard marked LABORATORY.
The door beneath the board was ajar; he
pushed it open and found himself on the threshold of a long, high-ceilinged
room. There were the usual sinks and
work tables, the usual glass-fronted cabinets full of bottles and equipment,
the usual smells of chemicals and caged mice.
For the first moment Will was under the impression that the room was untenanted,
but no - almost hidden from view by a bookcase that projected at right angles
from the wall, young Murugan was seated at a table, intently reading. As quietly as he could - for it was always
amusing to take people by surprise - Will advanced into the room. The whirring of an electric fan covered the
sound of his approach, and it was not until he was within a few feet of the
bookcase that Murugan became aware of his presence. The boy started guiltily, shoved his book
with panic haste into a leather briefcase and, reaching for another, smaller
volume that lay open on the table beside the briefcase, drew it within reading
range. Only then did he turn to face the
intruder.
Will gave him a reassuring smile. "It's only me."
The look of angry defiance gave place, on
the boy's face, to one of relief.
"I thought it was ..." He broke off, leaving the sentence
unfinished.
"You thought it was someone who
would bawl you out for not doing what you're supposed to do - is that it?"
Murugan grinned and nodded his curly
head.
"Where's everyone else?" Will
asked.
"They're out in the fields - pruning
and pollinating or something." His
tone was contemptuous.
"And so, the cats being away, the
mouse duly played. What were you
studying so passionately?"
With innocent disingenuousness, Murugan
held up the book he was now pretending to read.
"It's called 'Elementary Ecology'," he said.
"So I see," said Will. "But what I asked you was what were
you reading?"
"Oh that." Murugan shrugged his shoulders. "You wouldn't be interested."
"I'm interested in everything that
anyone tries to hide," Will assured him.
"Was it pornography?"
Murugan dropped his play-acting and
looked genuinely offended. "Who do
you take me for?"
Will was on the point of saying that he
took him for an average boy, but checked himself. To Colonel Dipa's pretty young friend,
'average boy' might sound like an insult or innuendo. Instead he bowed with mock politeness. "I beg your Majesty's pardon," he
said. "But I'm still curious,"
he added in another tone. "May
I?" He laid a hand on the bulging
briefcase.
Murugan hesitated for a moment, then
forced a laugh. "Go ahead."
"What a tome!" Will pulled the ponderous volume out of the
bag and laid it on the table.
"Sears, Roebuck, and Co., Spring and Summer Catalog,"
he read aloud.
"It's last year's," said
Murugan apologetically. "But I
don't suppose there's been much change since then."
"There," Will assured him,
"you're mistaken. If the styles
weren't completely changed every year, there'd be no reason for buying new
things before the old ones are worn out.
You don't understand the first principles of modern
consumerism." He opened at random. "'Soft Platform Wedgies in Wide
Widths.'" Opened at another place
and found the description and image of a Whisper-Pink bra in Dacron and Pima
Cotton. Turned the page and here, momento
mori, was what the bra-buyer would be wearing twenty years later - a
Strap-Controlled Front, Cupped to Support Pendulous Abdomen.
"It doesn't get really interesting,"
said Murugan, "until near the end of the book. It has thirteen hundred and fifty-eight
pages," he added parenthetically.
"Imagine! Thirteen hundred
and fifty-eight!"
Will skipped the next hundred and fifty
pages.
"Ah, this is more like it," he
said. "'Our Famous 22 Revolvers and
Automatics.'" And here, a little
further on, were the Fibre Glass Boats, here were the High Thrust Inboard
Engines, here was a 12 h.p. Outboard for only $234.95 - and the Fuel Tank was
included. "That's extraordinarily
generous!"
But Murugan, it was evident, was no
sailor. Taking the book, he leafed
impatiently through a score of additional pages.
"Look at this Italian Style Motor
Scooter!" And while Will looked,
Murugan read aloud. "'This sleek
Speedster gives up to 110 Miles per Gallon of Fuel.' Just imagine!" His normally sulky face was glowing with
enthusiasm. "And you can get up to
sixty miles per gallon even on this 14.5 h.p. Motor Cycle. And it's guaranteed to do seventy-five miles
an hour - guaranteed!"
"Remarkable!" said Will. Then, curiously, "Did somebody in
America send you this glorious book?" he asked.
Murugan shook his head. "Colonel Dipa gave it to me."
"Colonel Dipa?" What an odd kind of present from Hadrian to
Antinous! He looked again at the picture
of the motorbike, then back at Murugan's glowing face. Light dawned; the Colonel's purpose revealed
itself. The serpent tempted me and I
did eat. The tree in the midst of
the garden was called the Tree of Consumer Goods, and to the inhabitants of
every underdeveloped Eden , the tiniest taste of its fruit, and even the sight
of its thirteen hundred and fifty-eight leaves, had power to bring the shameful
knowledge that, industrially speaking, they were stark naked. The future Raja of Pala was being made to
realize that he was no more than the untrousered ruler of a tribe of savages.
"You ought," Will said aloud,
"to import a million of these catalogues and distribute them - gratis, of
course, like contraceptives - to all your subjects."
"What for?"
"To wet their appetite for
possessions. Then they'll start
clamouring for Progress - oil wells, armaments, Joe Aldehyde, Soviet
technicians."
Murugan frowned and shook his head. "It wouldn't work."
"You mean, they wouldn't be tempted?
Not even by sleek Speedsters and
Whisper-Pink Bras? But that's
incredible!"
"It may be incredible," said
Murugan bitterly; "but it's a fact.
They're just not interested."
"Not even the young ones?"
"I'd say especially the young
ones."
Will Farnaby pricked up his ears. This lack of interest was profoundly
interesting. "Can you guess
why?" he asked.
"I don't guess," the boy
answered. "I know." And as though he had suddenly decided to
stage a parody of his mother, he began to speak in a tone of righteous
indignation that was absurdly out of
keeping with his age and appearance.
"To begin with, they're much too busy with ...” He hesitated, then
the abhorred word was hissed out with a disgustful emphasis. "With sex."
"But everybody's busy with sex. Which doesn't keep them from whoring after
sleek speedsters."
"Sex is different here,"
Murugan insisted.
"Because of the yoga of love?"
Will asked, remembering the little nurse's rapturous face.
The boy nodded. They've got something that makes them think
they're perfectly happy, and they don't want anything else."
"What a blessed state!"
"There's nothing blessed about
it," Murugan snapped. "It's
just stupid and disgusting. No progress,
only sex, sex, sex. And of course that
beastly dope they're all given."
"Dope?" Will repeated in some
astonishment. Dope in a place where
Susila had said there were no addicts?
"What kind of dope?"
"It's made out of toadstools. Toadstools!" He spoke in a comical caricature of the
Rani's most vibrant tone of outraged spirituality.
"Those lovely red toadstools that
gnomes used to sit on?"
"No, these are yellow. People used to go out and collect them in the
mountains. Nowadays the things are grown
in special fungus beds at the High Altitude Experimental Station. Scientifically cultivated dope. Pretty, isn't it?"
A door slammed and there was a sound of
voices, of footsteps approaching along a corridor. Abruptly, the indignant spirit of the Rani
took flight, and Murugan was once again the conscience-stricken schoolboy
furtively trying to cover up his delinquencies.
In a trice 'Elementary Ecology' had taken the place of Sears Roebuck,
and the suspiciously bulging briefcase was under the table. A moment later, stripped to the waist and
shining like oiled bronze with the sweat of labour in the noonday sun, Vijaya
came striding into the room. Behind him
came Dr Robert. With the air of a model
student interrupted in the midst of his reading by trespassers from the
frivolous outside world, Murugan looked his from his book. Amused, Will threw himself at once
wholeheartedly into the part that had been assigned to him.
"It was I who got here too
early," he said in response to Vijaya's apologies for their being so
late. "With the result that our
young friend here hasn't been able to get on with the lessons. We've been talking our heads off."
"What about?" Dr Robert asked.
"Everything. Cabbages, kings, motor scooters, pendulous
abdomens. And when you came in, we'd
just embarked on toadstools. Murugan was
telling me about the fungi that are used here as a source of dope."
"What's in a name?" said Dr
Robert with a laugh. "Answer,
practically everything. Having had the
misfortune to be brought up in Europe, Murugan calls it dope and feels about it
all the disapproval that, by conditional reflex, the dirty word evokes. We, on the contrary, give the stuff good
names - the moksha-medicine, the reality-revealer, the truth-and-beauty
pill. And we know, by direct experience,
that the good names are deserved.
Whereas our young friend here has no first-hand knowledge of the stuff
and can't be persuaded even to give it a try.
For him, it's dope and dope is something that, by definition, no decent
person ever indulges in."
"What does His Highness say to that?"
Will asked.
Murugan shook his head. "All it gives you is a lot of
illusions," he muttered. "Why
should I go out of my way to be made a fool of?"
"Why indeed?" said Vijaya with
good-humoured irony. "Seeing that,
in your normal condition, you alone of the human race are never made a fool of
and never have illusions about anything!"
"I never said that," Murugan
protested. "All I mean is that I don't want any of your false samadhi."
"How do you know it's false?"
Dr Robert inquired.
"Because the real thing only comes
to people after years and years of meditation and tapas and ... well,
you know - not going with women."
"Murugan," Vijaya explained to
Will, "is one of the Puritans. He's
outraged by the fact that, with four hundred milligrammes of moksha-medicine
in their blood systems, even beginners - yes, and even boys and girls who make
love together - can catch a glimpse of the world as it looks to someone who has
been liberated from his bondage to the ego."
"But it isn't real," Murugan
insisted.
"Not real!" Dr Robert
repeated. "You might as well say
that the experience of feeling well isn't real."
"You're begging the question,"
Will objected. "An experience can
be real in relation to something going on inside your skull, but completely irrelevant
to anything outside."
"Of course," Dr Robert agreed.
"Do you know what goes on inside
your skull, when you've taken a dose of the mushroom?"
"We know a little."
"And we're trying all the time to
find out more," Vijaya added.
"For example," said Dr Robert,
"we've found that the people whose EEG doesn't show any alpha-wave
activity when they're relaxed, aren't likely to respond significantly to the moksha-medicine. That means that, for about fifteen per cent
of the population, we have to find other approaches to liberation."
"Another thing we're just beginning
to understand," said Vijaya, "is the neurological correlate of these
experiences. What's happening in the
brain when you're having a vision? And
what's happening when you pass from a pre-mystical to a genuinely mystical
state of mind?"
"Do you know?" Will asked.
"'Know' is a big word. Let's say we're in a position to make some
plausible guesses. Angels and New
Jerusalems and Madonnas and Future Buddhas - they're all related to some kind
of unusual stimulation of the brain areas of primary projection - the visual
cortex, for example. Just how the moksha-medicine
produces those unusual stimuli we haven't yet found out. The important fact is that, somehow or other,
it also does something unusual to the silent areas of the brain, the areas not
specifically concerned with perceiving, or moving, or feeling."
"And how do the silent areas
respond?" Will inquired.
"Let's start with what they don't
respond with. They don't respond with visions
or auditions, they don't respond with telepathy or clairvoyance or any kind of
parapsychological performance. None of
that amusing pre-mystical stuff. Their
response is the full-blown mystical experience.
You know - One in all and All in one.
The basic experience with its corollaries - boundless compassion,
fathomless mystery, and meaning."
"Not to mention joy," said Dr
Robert, "inexpressible joy."
"And the whole caboodle is inside
your skull," said Will.
"Strictly private. No
reference to any external fact except a toadstool."
"Not real," Murugan chimed
in. That's exactly what I was trying to
say."
"You're assuming," said Dr
Robert, "that the brain produces consciousness. I'm assuming that it transmits
consciousness. And my explanation is no
more far-fetched than yours. How on
earth can a set of events belonging to one order be experienced as a set of
events belonging to an entirely different and incommensurable order? Nobody has the faintest idea. All one can do is to accept the facts and
concoct hypotheses. And one hypothesis
is just about as good, philosophically speaking, as another. You say that the moksha-medicine does
something to the silent areas of the brain which causes them to produce a set
of subjective events to which people have given the name 'mystical
experience'. I say that the moksha-medicine
does something to the silent areas of the brain which opens some kind of
neurological sluice and so allows a larger volume of Mind with a large 'M' to
flow into your mind with a small 'm'.
You can't demonstrate the truth of your hypothesis, and I can't
demonstrate the truth of mine. And even
if you could prove that I'm wrong, would it make any practical
difference?"
"I'd have thought it would make all
the difference," said Will.
"Do you like music?" Dr Robert
asked.
"More than most things."
"And what, may I ask, does Mozart's
G Minor Quintet refer to? Does it refer
to Allah? Or Tao? Or the second person of the Trinity? Or the Atman-Brahman?"
Will laughed. "Let's hope not."
"But that doesn't make the
experience of the G Minor Quintet any less rewarding. Well, it's the same with the kind of
experience that you get with the moksha-medicine, or through prayer and
fasting and spiritual exercises. Even if
it doesn't refer to anything outside itself, it's still the most important
thing that ever happened to you. Like
music, only incomparably more so. And if
you give the experience a chance, if you're prepared to go along with it, the
results are incomparably more therapeutic and transforming. So maybe the whole thing does happen inside
one's skull. Maybe it is private
and there's no unitive knowledge of anything but one's own physiology. Who cares?
The fact remains that the experience can open one's eyes and make one
blessed and transform one's whole life."
There was a long silence.
"Let me tell you something," he resumed, turning to
Murugan. "Something I hadn't
intended to talk about to anybody. But
now I feel that perhaps I have a duty, a duty to the throne, a duty to Pala and
all its people - an obligation to tell you about this very private
experience. Perhaps the telling may help
you to be a little more understanding about your country and its ways." He was silent for a moment; then in a quietly
matter-of-fact tone, "I suppose you know my wife," he went on.
His face still averted, Murugan
nodded. "I was sorry," he
mumbled, "to hear that she was so ill."
"It's a matter of a few days
now," said Dr Robert. "Four or
five at the most. But she's still
perfectly lucid, perfectly conscious of what's happening to her. Yesterday she asked me if we could take the moksha-medicine
together. We'd taken it together,"
he added parenthetically, "once or twice each year for the last
thirty-seven years - ever since we decided to get married. And now once more - for the last time, the
last, last time. There was a risk
involved, because of the damage to the liver.
But we decided it was a risk worth taking. And as it turned out, we were right. The moksha-medicine - the dope, as you
prefer to call it - hardly upset her at all.
All that happened to her was the mental transformation."
He was silent, and Will suddenly became
aware of the squeak and scrabble of caged rats and, through the open window,
the babel of tropical life and the call of a distant myrah-bird. "Here and now, boys. Here and now ..."
"You're like that mynah," said
Dr Robert at last, "trained to repeat words you don't understand or know
the reason for, 'It isn't real, it isn't real.' But if you'd experienced what Lakshmi
and I went through yesterday, you'd know better. You'd know it was much more real than what
you call reality. More real than what
you're thinking and feeling at this moment.
More real than the world before your eyes. But not real is what you've been
taught to say. Not real, not real." Dr Robert laid a hand affectionately on the
boy's shoulder. "You've been told
that we're just a set of self-indulgent dope-takers, wallowing in illusions and
false samadhis. Listen, Murugan
-forget all the bad language that's been pumped into you. Forget it at least to the point of making a
single experiment. Take four hundred
milligrammes of moksha-medicine and find out for yourself what it does,
what it can tell you about your own nature, about this strange world you've got
to live in, suffer in, and finally die in.
Yes, even you will have to die one day - maybe fifty years from now,
maybe tomorrow. Who knows? But it's going to happen, and one's a fool if
one doesn't prepare for it." He
turned to Will. "Would you like to
come along while we take our shower and get into some clothes?"
Without waiting for an answer, he walked
out through the door that led into the central corridor of the long
building. Will picked up his bamboo
staff and, accompanied by Vijaya, followed him out of the room.
"Do you suppose that made any
impression on Murugan?" he asked Vijaya when the door had closed behind
them.
Vijaya shrugged his shoulders. "I doubt it."
"What with his mother," said
Will, "and his passion for internal combustion engines, he's probably
impervious to anything you people can say.
You should have heard him on the subject of motor scooters!"
"We have heard him," said Dr
Robert, who had halted in front of a blue door and was waiting for them to come
up with him. "Frequently. When he comes of age, scooters are going to
become a major political issue."
Vijaya laughed. "To scoot or not to scoot, that is the
question."
"And it isn't only in Pala that it's
the question," Dr Robert added.
"It's the question that every underdeveloped country has to answer
one way or the other."
"And the answer," said Will,
"is always the same. Wherever I've
been - and I've been almost everywhere - they've opted wholeheartedly for
scooting. All of them."
"Without exception," Vijaya
agreed. "Scooting for scooting's
sake, and to hell with all considerations of fulfilment, self-knowledge,
liberation. Not to mention common or
garden health or happiness."
"Whereas we," said Dr
Robert, "have always chosen to adapt our economy and technology to human
beings - not our human beings to someone else's economy and technology. We import what we can't make; but we make and
import only what we can afford. And what
we can afford is limited not merely by our supply of pounds and marks and
dollars, but also and primarily - primarily," he insisted -
"by our wish to be happy, our ambition to become fully human. Scooters, we've decided after carefully
looking into the matter, are among the things - the very numerous things - we
simply can't afford. Which is something
that poor little Murugan will have to learn the hard way - seeing that he
hasn't learned, and doesn't want to learn, the easy way."
"Which is the easy way?" Will
asked.
"Education and reality-revealers. Murugan has had neither. Or rather he's had the opposite of both. He's had miseducation in Europe - Swiss
governesses, English tutors, American movies, everybody's advertisements - and
he's had reality eclipsed for him by his mother's brand of spirituality. So it's no wonder he pines for
scooters."
"But his subjects, I gather, do
not."
"Why should they? They've been taught from infancy to be fully
aware of the world, and to enjoy their awareness. And, on top of that, they have been shown the
world and themselves and other peoples as these are illumined and transfigured
by reality-revealers. Which helps them,
of course, to have an intenser awareness and more understanding enjoyment, so
that the most ordinary things, the most trivial events, are seen as jewels and
miracles. Jewels and miracles," he
repeated emphatically. "So why
should we resort to scooters or whisky or television or Billy Graham or any
other of your distractions and compensations."
"'Nothing short of everything will
really do,'" Will quoted. "I
see now what the Old Raja was talking about.
You can't be a good economist unless you're also a good
psychologist. Or a good engineer without
being the right kind of metaphysician."
"And don't forget all the other
sciences," said Dr Robert.
"Pharmacology, sociology, physiology, not to mention pure and
applied autology, neurotheology, metachemistry, mycomysticism, and the ultimate
science," he added, looking away so as to be more alone with his thoughts
of Lakshmi in the hospital, "the science that sooner or later we shall all
have to be examined in - thanatology."
He was silent for a moment; then, in another tone, "Well, let's go
and get washed up," he said and, opening the blue door, led the way into a
long changing room with a row of showers and wash-basins at one end and, on the
opposite wall, tiers of lockers and a large hanging cupboard.
Will took a seat, and while his
companions lathered themselves at the basins, went on with their conversation.
"Would it be permissible?" he asked,
"for a miseducated alien to try and truth-and-beauty pill?"
The answer was another question. "Is your liver in good order?" Dr
Robert inquired.
"Excellent."
"And you don't seem to be more than
mildly schizophrenic. So I can't see any
counter-indication."
"Then I can make the
experiment."
"Whenever you like."
He stepped into the nearest shower stall
and turned on the water. Vijaya followed
suit.
"Aren't you supposed to be
intellectuals?" Will asked when the two men had emerged again and were
drying themselves.
"We do intellectual work,"
Vijaya answered.
"Then why all this horrible honest
toil?"
"For a very simple reason: this
morning I had some spare time."
"So did I," said Dr Robert.
"So you went out into the fields and
did a Tolstoy act."
Vijaya laughed. "You seem to imagine we do it for
ethical reasons."
"Don't you?"
"Certainly not. I do muscular work, because I have muscles;
and if I don't use my muscles I shall become a bad-tempered
sitting-addict."
"With nothing between the cortex and
the buttocks," said Dr Robert.
"Or rather with everything - but in a condition of complete
unconsciousness and toxic stagnation.
Western intellectuals are all sitting-addicts. That's why most of you are so repulsively
unwholesome. In the past even a duke had
to do a lot of walking, even a money-lender, even a metaphysician. And when they weren't using their legs, they
were jogging about on horses. Whereas
now, from the tycoon to his typist, from the logical positivist to the positive
thinker, you spend nine-tenths of your time on foam rubber. Spongy seats for spongy bottoms - at home, in
the office, in cars and bars, in planes and trains and buses. No moving of legs, no struggles with distance
and gravity - just lifts and planes and cars, just foam rubber and an eternity
of sitting. The life force that used to
find an outlet through striped muscle gets turned back on the viscera and the
nervous system, and slowly destroys them."
"So you take to digging and delving
as a form of therapy?"
"As prevention - to make therapy
unnecessary. In Pala even a professor,
even a government official generally puts in two hours of digging and delving
each day."
"As part of his duties?"
"And as part of his pleasure."
Will made a grimace. "It wouldn't be part of my
pleasure."
"That's because you weren't taught
to use your mind-body in the right way," Vijaya explained. "If you'd been shown how to do things
with the minimum of strain and the maximum of awareness, you'd enjoy even
honest toil."
"I take it that your children all
get this kind of training."
"From the first moment they start
doing for themselves. For example,
what's the proper way of handling yourself while you're buttoning your
clothes?" And suiting action to
words, Vijaya started to button the shirt he had just slipped into. "We answer the question by actually
putting their heads and bodies into the physiologically best position. And we encourage them at the same time to
notice how it feels to be in the physiologically best position, to be aware of
what the process of doing up buttons consists of in terms of touches and
pressures and muscular sensations. By
the time they're fourteen they've learned how to get the most and the best -
objectively and subjectively - out of any activity they may undertake. And that's when we start them working. Ninety minutes a day at some kind of manual
job."
"Back to good old child
labour!"
"Or rather," said Dr Robert,
"forward from bad new child-idleness.
You don't allow your teenagers to work; so they have to blow off steam
in delinquency or else throttle down steam till they're ready to become
domesticated sitting-addicts. And
now," he added, "it's time to
be going. I'll lead the way."
In the laboratory, when they entered,
Murugan was in the act of locking his briefcase against all prying eyes. "I'm ready," he said and, tucking
the thirteen hundred and fifty-eight pages of the Newest Testament under his
arm, he followed them out into the sunshine.
A few minutes later, crammed into an ancient jeep, the four of them were
rolling along the road that led, past the paddock of the white bull, past the
lotus pool and the huge stone Buddha, out through the gate of the Station
Compound to the highway. "I'm sorry
we can't provide more comfortable transportation," said Vijaya as they
bumped and rattled along.
Will patted Murugan's knee. "This is the man you should be
apologizing to," he said. "The
one whose soul yearns for Jaguars and Thunderbirds."
"It's a yearning, I'm afraid,"
said Dr Robert from the back seat, "that will have to remain
unsatisfied."
Murugan made no comment, but smiled the
secret contemptuous smile of one who knows better.
"We can't import toys," Dr
Robert went on. "Only
essentials."
"Such as?"
"You'll see in a moment." They rounded a curve, and there beneath them
were the thatched roofs and tree-shaded gardens of a considerable village. Vijaya pulled up at the side of the road and
turned off the motor. "You're
looking at New Rothamsted," he said.
"Alias Medalia. Rice,
vegetables, poultry, fruit. Not to
mention two potteries and a furniture factory.
Hence those wires." He waved
his hand in the direction of the long row of pylons that climbed up the
terraced slope behind the village, dipped out of sight over the ridge, and
reappeared, far away, marching up from the floor of the next valley towards the
green belt of mountain jungle and the cloudy peaks beyond and above. "That's one of the indispensable imports
- electric equipment. And when the
waterfalls have been harnessed and you've strung up the transmission lines,
here's something else with a high priority." He directed a pointing finger at a windowless
block of houses near the upper entrance to the village.
"What is it?" Will asked. "Some kind of electric oven?"
"No, the kilns are over on the other
side of the village. This is the
communal freezer."
"In the old days," Dr Robert
explained, "we used to lose about half of all the perishables we
produced. Now we lose practically
nothing. Whatever we grow is for us, not
for the circumambient bacteria."
"So now you have enough to
eat."
"More than enough. We eat better than any other country in Asia,
and there's a surplus for export. Lenin
used to say that electricity plus socialism equals communism. Our equations are rather different. Electricity minus heavy industry plus birth
control equals democracy and plenty.
Electricity plus heaven industry minus birth control equals misery,
totalitarianism and war."
"Incidentally," Will asked,
"who owns all this? Are you
capitalists or state socialists?"
"Neither. Most of the time we're co-operators. Palanese agriculture has always been an
affair of terracing and irrigation. But
terracing and irrigation call for pooled efforts and friendly agreements. Cut-throat competition isn't compatible with
rice-growing in a mountainous country.
Our people found it quite easy to pass from mutual aid in a village
community to streamlined co-operative techniques for buying and selling and
profit-sharing and financing."
"Even co-operative financing?"
Dr Robert nodded. "None of those blood-sucking usurers
that you find all over the Indian countryside.
And no commercial banks in your Western style. Our borrowing and lending system was modelled
on those credit unions that Wilhelm Raiffeisen set up more than a century ago
in Germany. Dr Andrew persuaded the Raja
to invite one of Raiffeisen's young men to come here and organize a
co-operative banking system. It's still
going strong."
"And what do you use for
money?" Will asked.
Dr Robert dipped into his trouser pocket
and pulled out a handful of silver, gold, and copper.
"In a modest way," he
explained, "Pala's a gold-producing country. We mine enough to give our paper a solid
metallic backing. And the gold
supplements our exports. We can pay spot
cash for expensive equipment like those transmission lines and the generators
at the other end."
"You seem to have solved your
economic problems pretty successfully."
"Solving them wasn't difficult. To begin with, we never allowed ourselves to
produce more children than we could feed, clothe, house, and educate into
something like full humanity. Not being
over-populated, we have plenty. But
although we have plenty, we've managed to resist the temptation that the West
has now succumbed to - the temptation to over-consume. We don't give ourselves coronaries by
guzzling six times as much saturated fat as we need. We don't hypnotize ourselves into believing
that two television sets will make us twice as happy as one television
set. And finally we don't spend a
quarter of the gross national product preparing for World War III or even World
War's baby brother, Local War MMMCCXXXIII.
Armaments, universal debt, and planned obsolescence - those are the
three pillars of Western prosperity. If
war, waste, and moneylenders were abolished, you'd collapse. And while you people are over-consuming, the
rest of the world sinks more and more deeply into chronic disaster. Ignorance, militarism, and breeding, these
three - and the greatest of these is breeding.
No hope, not the slightest possibility, of solving the economic problem
until that's under control. As
population rushes up, prosperity goes down." He traced the descending curve with an
outstretched finger. "And as
prosperity goes down, discontent and rebellion" (the forefinger moved up
again), "political ruthlessness and one-party rule, nationalism and
bellicosity begin to rise. Another ten
or fifteen years of uninhibited breeding, and the whole world, from China to
Peru via Africa and the Middle East, will be fairly crawling with Great
Leaders, all dedicated to the suppression of freedom, all armed to the teeth by
Russia or America or, better still, by both at once, all waving flags, all
screaming for Lebensraum."
"What about Pala?" Will
asked. "Will you be blessed
with a Great Leader ten years from now?"
"Not if we can help it," Dr
Robert answered. "We've always done
everything possible to make it very difficult for our Great Leader to
arise."
Out of the corner of hiss eye Will saw
that Murugan was making a face of indignant and contemptuous disgust. In his fancy, Antinous evidently saw himself
as a Carlylean Hero. Will turned back to
Dr Robert.
"Tell me how you do it," he
said.
"Well, to begin with we don't fight
wars or prepare for them. Consequently
we have no need for conscription, or military hierarchies, or a unified
command. Then there's our economic
system: it doesn't permit anybody to become more than four or five times as
rich as the average. That means that we
don't have any captains of industry or omnipotent financiers. Better still, we have no omnipotent
politicians or bureaucrats. Pala's a
federation of self-governing units, economic units - so there's plenty of scope
for small-scale initiative and democratic leaders, but no place for any kind of
dictator at the head of a centralized government. Another point: we have no established church,
and our religion stresses immediate experience and deplores belief in
unverifiable dogmas and the emotions which that belief inspires. So we're preserved from the plagues of popery
on the one hand and fundamentalist revivalism on the other. And along with transcendental experience we
systematically cultivate scepticism.
Discouraging children from taking words too seriously, teaching them to
analyse whatever they hear or read - this is an integral part of the school
curriculum. Result: the eloquent
rabble-rouser, like Hitler or our neighbour across the strait, Colonel Dipa,
just doesn't have a chance here in Pala."
This was too much for Murugan. Unable to contain himself, "But look at
the energy Colonel Dipa generates in his people," he burst out. "Look at all the devotion and
self-sacrifice! We don't have anything
like that here."
"Thank God," said Dr Robert
devoutly.
"Thank God," Vijaya echoed.
"But these things are good,"
the boy protested. "I admire
them."
"I admire them too," said Dr
Robert. "Admire them in the same
way as I admire a typhoon. Unfortunately
that kind of energy and devotion and self-sacrifice happens to be incompatible
with liberty, not to mention reason and human decency. But decency, reason, and liberty are what
Pala has been working for, even since the time of your namesake, Murugan the
Reformer."
From under his seat Vijaya pulled out a
tin box and, lifting the lid, distributed a first round of cheese and avocado
sandwiches. "We'll have to eat as
we go." He started the motor and
with one hand, the other being busy with his sandwich, swung the little car on
to the road. "Tomorrow," he
said to Will, "I'll show you the sights of the village, and the still more
remarkable sight of my family eating their lunch. Today we have an appointment in the
mountains."
Near the entrance to the village he
turned the jeep into a side road that went winding steeply up between terraced
fields of rice and vegetables, interspersed with orchards and, here and there,
plantations of young trees destined, Dr Robert explained, to supply the pulp
mills of Shivapuram with their raw material.
"How many papers does Pala
support?" Will inquired and was surprised to learn that there was only
one. "Who enjoys the monopoly? The government? The party in power? The local Joe Aldehyde?"
"Nobody enjoys a monopoly," Dr
Robert assured him. "There's a
panel of editors representing half a dozen different parties and
interests. Each of them gets his
allotted space for comment and criticism.
The reader's in a position to compare their arguments and make up his
own mind. I remember how shocked I was,
the first time I read one of your big-circulation newspapers. The bias of the headlines, the systematic
one-sidedness of the reporting and the commentaries, the catchwords and slogans
instead of argument. No serious appeal
to reason. Instead, a systematic effort
to install condition reflexes in the minds of the voters - and, for the rest,
crime, divorce, anecdotes, twaddle, anything to keep them distracted, anything
to prevent them from thinking."
The car climbed on, and now they were on
a ridge between two headlong descents with a tree-fringed lake down at the
bottom of a gorge to their left and, to the right, a broader valley where,
between two tree-shaded villages, like an incongruous piece of pure geometry,
sprawled a huge factory.
"Cement?" Will questioned.
Dr Robert nodded. "One of the indispensable
industries. We produce all we need and a
surplus for export."
"And those villages supply the
man-power?"
"In the intervals of agriculture and
work in the forest and the sawmills."
"Does that kind of part-time system
work well?"
"It depends what you mean by
'well'. It doesn't result in maximum
efficiency. But then in Pala maximum
efficiency isn't the categorical imperative that it is with you. You think first of getting the biggest
possible output in the shortest possible time.
We think first of human beings and their satisfactions. Changing jobs doesn't make for the biggest
output in the fewest days. But most
people like it better than doing one kind of job all their lives. If it's a choice between mechanical
efficiency and human satisfaction, we choose satisfaction."
"When I was twenty," Vijaya now
volunteered, "I put in four months at that cement plant - and after that
ten weeks making superphosphates and then six months in the jungle, as a
lumberjack."
"All this ghastly honest toil!"
"Twenty years earlier," said Dr
Robert, "I did a stint at the copper smelters. After which I had a taste of the sea on a
fishing boat. Sampling all kinds of work
- it's part of everybody's education.
One learns an enormous amount that way - about things and skills and
organizations, about all kinds of people and their ways of thinking."
Will shook his head. "I'd still rather get it out of a
book."
"But what you can get out of a book
is never it. At bottom," Dr
Robert added, "all of you are still Platonists. You worship the word and abhor matter!"
"Tell that to the clergymen,"
said Will. "They're always
reproaching us with being crass materialists."
"Crass," Dr Robert agreed,
"but crass precisely because you're such inadequate materialists. Abstract materialism - that's what you
profess. Whereas we make a point of
being materialists concretely - materialistic on the wordless levels of seeing
and touching and smelling, of tensed muscles and dirty hands. Abstract materialism is as bad as abstract
idealism, it makes immediate spiritual experience almost impossible. Sampling different kinds of work as concrete materialists
is the first, indispensable step in our education for concrete spirituality."
"But even the most concrete
materialism,“ Vijaya qualified, "won't get you very far unless you're
fully conscious of what you're doing and experiencing. You've got to be completely aware of the bits
of matter you're handling, the skills you're practising, the people you're
working with."
"Quite right," said Dr
Robert. "I ought to have made it
clear that concrete materialism is only the raw stuff of a fully human
life. It's through awareness, complete
and constant awareness, that we transform it into concrete spirituality. Be fully aware of what you're doing, and work
becomes the yoga of work, play becomes the yoga of play, everyday living
becomes the yoga of everyday living."
Will thought of Ranga and the little
nurse. "And what about love?"
Dr Robert nodded. "That too. Awareness transfigures it, turns love-making
into the yoga of love-making."
Murugan gave an imitation of his mother
looking shocked.
"Psycho-physical means to a
transcendental end," said Vijaya, raising his voice against the grinding
screech of the low gear into which he had just shifted, "that, primarily,
is what all these yogas are. But they're
also something else, they're also devices for dealing with the problems of power." He shifted back to a quieter gear and lowered
his voice to its normal tone. "The
problems of power," he repeated.
"And they confront you on every level of organization - every
level, from national governments down to nurseries and honeymooning
couples. For it isn't merely a question
of making things hard for the Great Leaders.
There are all the millions of small-scale tyrants and persecutors, all
the mute inglorious Hitlers, the village Napoleons, the Calvins and Torquemadas
of the family. Not to mention all the
brigands and bullies stupid enough to get themselves labelled as
criminals. How does one harness the
enormous power these people generate and set it to work in some useful way - or
at least prevent it from doing harm?"
"That's what I want you to tell
me," said Will. "Where do you start?"
"We start everywhere at once,"
Vijaya answered. "But since one
can't say more than one thing at a time, let's begin by talking about the
anatomy and physiology of power. Tell
him about your biochemical approach to the subject, Dr Robert."
"It started," said Dr Robert,
"nearly forty years ago, while I was studying in London. Started with prison visiting on weekends and
reading history whenever I had a free evening.
History and prisons," he repeated.
"I discovered that they were closely related. The record of the crimes, follies, and
misfortunes of mankind (that's Gibbon, isn't it?) and the place where
unsuccessful crimes and follies are visited with a special kind of misfortune. Reading my books and talking to my jailbirds,
I found myself asking questions. What
kind of people became dangerous delinquents - the grand delinquents of the
history books, the little ones of Pentonville and Wormwood Scrubs? What kinds of people are moved by the lust
for power, the passion to bully and domineer?
And the ruthless ones, the men and women who know what they want and
have no qualms about hurting and killing in order to get it, the monsters who
hurt and kill, not for profit, but gratuitously, because hurting and killing
are such fun - who are they? I used
to discuss these questions with the experts - doctors, psychologists, social
scientists, teachers. Mantegazza and
Galton had gone out of fashion, and most of my experts assured me that the only
valid answers to these questions were answers in terms of culture, economics,
and the family. It was all a matter of
mothers and toilet training, of early conditioning and traumatic
environments. I was only half convinced. Mothers and toilet training and the
circumambient nonsense - these were obviously important. But were they all-important? In the course of my prison visiting I'd begun
to see evidence of some kind of a built-in pattern - or rather of two kinds of
built-in pattern; for dangerous delinquents and power-loving trouble-makers don't
belong to a single species. Most of
them, as I was beginning to realize even then, belong to one or other of two
distinct and dissimilar species - the Muscle People and the Peter Pans. I've specialized in the treatment of Peter
Pans."
"The boys who never grow up?" Will
queried.
"'Never' is the wrong word. In real life Peter Pan always ends by growing
up. He merely grows up too late - grows
up physiologically more slowly than he grows up in terms of birthdays."
"What about girl Peter Pans?"
"They're very rare. But the boys are as common as
blackberries. You can expect one Peter
Pan among every five or six male children.
And among problem children, among the boys who can't read, won't learn,
don't get on with anyone, and finally turn to the more violent forms of
delinquency, seven out of ten turn out, if you take an X-ray of the bones of
the wrist, to be Peter Pans. The rest
are mostly Muscle People of one sort or another."
"I'm trying to think," said
Will, "of a good historical example of a delinquent Peter Pan."
"You don't have to go far
afield. The most recent, as well as the
best and biggest, was Adolf Hitler."
"Hitler?" Murugan's tone was one of shocked
astonishment. Hitler was evidently one
of his heroes.
"Read the Führer's biography,"
said Dr Robert. "A Peter Pan if
ever there was one. Hopeless at
school. Incapable either of completing
or co-operating. Envying all the
normally successful boys - and, because he envied, hating them and, to make
himself feel better, despising them as inferior beings. Then came the time for puberty. But Adolf was sexually backward. Other boys made advances to girls, and the
girls responded. Adolf was too shy, too
uncertain of his manhood. And all the
time incapable of steady work, at home in the compensatory Other World of his
fancy. There, at the very least, he was
Michelangelo. Here, unfortunately, he
couldn't draw. His only gifts were
hatred, low cunning, a set of indefatigable vocal cords and a talent for
non-stop talking at the top of his voice from the depths of his Peter-Panic
paranoia. Thirty or forty million deaths
and heaven knows how many billions of dollars - that was the price the world
had to pay for little Adolf's retarded maturation. Fortunately most of the boys who grow up too
slowly never get a chance of being more than minor delinquents. But even minor delinquents, if there are
enough of them, can exact a pretty stiff price.
That's why we try to nip them in the bud - or rather, since we're
dealing with Peter Pans, that's why we try to make their nipped buds open out
and grow."
"And do you succeed?"
Dr Robert nodded. "It isn't hard. Particularly if you start early enough. Between four and a half and five all our
children get a thorough examination. Blood
tests, psychological tests, somatotyping; then we X-ray their wrists and give
them an EEG. All the cute little Peter
Pans are spotted without fail, and appropriate treatment is started
immediately. Within a year practically
all of them are perfectly normal. A crop
of potential failures and criminals, potential tyrants and sadists, potential
misanthropes and revolutionaries for revolution's sake, has been transformed
into a crop of useful citizens who can be governed adandena asatthena - without
punishment and without a sword. In your
part of the world, delinquency is still left to clergymen, social workers, and
the police. Non-stop sermons and
supportive therapy; prison sentences galore.
With what results? The
delinquency rate goes steadily up and up.
No wonder. Words about sibling
rivalry and hell and the personality of Jesus are no substitutes for
biochemistry. A year in jail won't cure
a Peter Pan of his endocrine disbalance or help the ex-Peter Pan to get rid of
its psychological consequences. For
Peter-Pan delinquency what you need is early diagnosis and three pink capsules
a day before meals. Given a tolerable
environment, the result will be sweet reasonableness and a modicum of the
cardinal virtues within eighteen months.
Not to mention a fair chance, where before there hadn't been the
faintest possibility, of eventual prajnaparamita and karuna,
eventual wisdom and compassion. And now
get Vijaya to tell you about the Muscle People.
As you may perhaps have observed, he's one of them." Leaning forward, Dr Robert thumped the
giant's broad back. "Solid
beef!" And he added, "How
lucky for us poor shrimps that the animal isn't savage."
Vijaya took one hand off the wheel, beat
his chest and uttered a loud ferocious roar.
"Don't tease the gorilla," he said, and laughed
good-humouredly. Then, think of the
other great dictator," he said to Will, "think of Joseph
Vissarionovich Stalin. Hitler's the
supreme example of the delinquent Peter Pan.
Stalin's the supreme example of the delinquent Muscle Man. Predestined, by his shape, to be an
extrovert. Not one of your soft, round,
spill-the-beans extrovert who pine for indiscriminate togetherness. No - the trampling, driving extrovert, the
one who always feel impelled to Do Something and is never inhibited by doubts
or qualms, by sympathy or sensibility.
In his will, Lenin advised his successors to get rid of Stalin: the man
was too fond of power and too apt to abuse it.
But the advice came too late.
Stalin was already so firmly entrenched that he couldn't be ousted. Ten years later his power was absolute. Trotsky had been scotched; all his old
friends had been bumped off. Now, like
God among the choiring angels, he was alone in a cosy little heaven peopled
only by flatterers and yes-men. And all
the time he was ruthlessly busy, liquidating kulaks, organizing collectives,
building an armament industry, shifting reluctant millions from farm to
factory. Working with a tenacity, a
lucid efficiency of which the German Peter Pan, with his apocalyptic phantasies
and his fluctuating moods, was utterly incapable. And in the last phase of the War, compare
Stalin's strategy with Hitler's. Cool
calculation pitted against compensatory day-dreams, clear-eyed realism against
the rhetorical nonsense that Hitler had finally talked himself into
believing. Two monsters, equal in
delinquency, but profoundly dissimilar in temperament, in unconscious
motivation, and finally in efficiency.
Peter Pans are wonderfully good at starting wars and revolutions; but it
takes Muscle Men to carry them through to a successful conclusion. Here's the jungle," Vijaya added in
another tone, waving a hand in the direction of a great cliff of trees that
seemed to block their further ascent.
A moment later they had left the glare of
the open hillside and had plunged into a narrow tunnel of green twilight that
zigzagged up between walls of tropical foliage.
Creepers dangled from the over-arching branches, and between the trunks
of huge trees grew ferns and dark-leaved rhododendrons with a dense profusion
of shrubs and bushes that for Will, as he looked about him, were namelessly
unfamiliar. The air was stiflingly damp
and there was a hot, acrid smell of luxuriant green growth and of that other
kind of life which is decay. Muffled by
the thick foliage, Will heard the ringing of distant axes, the rhythmic screech
of a saw. The road turned yet once more
and suddenly the green darkness of the tunnel gave place to sunshine. They had entered a clearing in the
forest. Tall and broad-shouldered, half
a dozen almost naked woodcutters were engaged in lopping the branches from a
newly felled tree. In the sunshine
hundreds of blue and amethyst butterflies chased one another, fluttering and
soaring in an endless random dance. Over
a fire at the further side of the clearing an old man was slowly stirring the
contents of an iron cauldron. Nearby a
small tame deer, fine-limbed and elegantly dappled, was quietly grazing.
"Old friends," said Vijaya, and
shouted something in Palanese. The
woodcutters shouted back and waved their hands.
Then the road swung sharply to the left and they were climbing again up
the green tunnel between the trees.
"Talk of Muscle Men," said Will
as they left the clearing. "Those
were really splendid specimens."
"That kind of physique," said
Vijaya, "is a standing temptation.
And yet among all these men - and I've worked with scores of them - I've
never met a single bully, a single potentially-dangerous power-lover."
"Which is just another way,"
Murugan broke in contemptuously, "that nobody here has any ambition."
"What's the explanation?" Will
asked.
"Very simple, so far as the Peter
Pans are concerned. They're never given
a chance to work up an appetite for power.
We cure them of their delinquency before it's had time to develop. But the Muscle Men are different. They're just as muscular here, just as
tramplingly extroverted, as they are with you.
So why don't they turn into Stalins or Dipas, or at least in domestic
tyrants? First of all, our social
arrangements offer them very few opportunities for bullying their families, and
our political arrangements make it practically impossible for them to domineer
on any larger scale. Second, we train
the Muscle Men to be aware and sensitive, we teach them to enjoy the
commonplaces of everyday existence. This
means that they always have an alternative - innumerable alternatives - to the
pleasure of being the boss. And finally
we work directly on the love of power and domination that goes with this kind
of physique in almost all its variations.
We canalize this love of power and we deflect it - turn it away from
people and on to things. We give them
all kinds of difficult tasks to perform - strenuous and violent tasks that
exercise their muscles and satisfy their craving for domination - but satisfy
it at nobody's expense and in ways that are either harmless or positively
useful."
"So these splendid creatures fell
trees instead of felling people - is that it?"
"Precisely. And when they've had enough of the woods,
they can go to sea, or try their hands at mining, or take it easy, relatively
speaking, on the rice paddies."
Will Farnaby suddenly laughed.
"What's the joke?"
"I was thinking of my father. A little wood chopping might have been the
making of him - not to mention the salvation of his wretched family. Unfortunately he was an English
gentleman. Wood chopping was out of the
question."
"Didn't he have any physical
outlet for his energies?"
Will shook his head. "Besides being a gentleman," he explained,
"my father thought he was an intellectual.
But an intellectual doesn't hunt or shoot or play golf; he just thinks
and drinks. Apart from brandy, my
father's only amusements were bullying, auction bridge, and the theory of
politics. He fancied himself as a
twentieth-century version of Lord Acton - the last, lonely philosopher of
Liberalism. You should have heard him on
the iniquities of the modern omnipotent State!
'Power corrupts. Absolute power
corrupts absolutely. Absolutely.' After which he down another brandy and go
back with renewed gusto to his favourite pastime - trampling on his wife and
children."
"And if Acton himself didn't behave
in that way," said Dr Robert, "it was merely because he happened to
be virtuous and intelligent. There was
nothing in his theories to restrain a delinquent Muscle Man or an untreated
Peter Pan from trampling on anyone he could get his feet on. That was Acton's fatal weakness. As a political psychologist he was almost
non-existent. He seems to have thought
that the power problem could be solved by good social arrangements,
supplemented, of course, by sound morality and a spot of revealed
religion. But the power problem has its
roots in anatomy and biochemistry and temperament. Power has to be curbed on the legal and
political levels; that's obvious. But
it's also obvious that there must be prevention on the individual level. On the level of instinct and emotion, on the
level of the glands and the viscera, the muscles and the blood. If I can ever find the time, I'd like to
write a little book on human physiology in relation to ethics, religion,
politics, and law."
"Law," Will echoed. "I was just going to ask you about
law. Are you completely swordless and
punishmentless? Or do you still need judges
and policemen?"
"We still need them," said Dr
Robert. "But we don't need nearly
so many of them as you do. In the first
place, thanks to preventive medicine and preventive education, we don't commit
many crimes. And in the second place
most of the few crimes that are committed are dealt with by the criminal's
MAC. Group therapy within a community
that has assumed group responsibility for the delinquent. And in difficult cases the group therapy is
supplemented by medical treatment and a course of moksha-medicine
experiences, directed by somebody with an exceptional degree of insight."
"So where do the judges come
in?"
"The judge listens to the evidence,
decides whether the accused person is innocent or guilty, and if he's guilty,
remands him to his MAC and, where it seems advisable, to the local panel of
medical and mycomystical experts. At
stated intervals the experts and the MAC report back to the judge. When the reports are satisfactory, the case
is closed."
"And if they're never satisfactory?"
In the long run," said Dr Robert,
"they always are."
There was a silence.
"Did you ever do any rock
climbing?" Vijaya suddenly asked.
Will laughed. "How do you think I came by my game
leg?"
"That was forced climbing. Did you ever climb for fun?"
"Enough," said Will, "to
convince me that I wasn't much good at it."
Vijaya glanced at Murugan. "What about you, while you were in
Switzerland?"
The boy blushed deeply and shook his
head. "You can't do any of those
things he muttered, "if you have a tendency to TB."
"What a pity!" said
Vijaya. "It would have been so good
for you."
Will asked, "Do people do a lot of
climbing in these mountains?"
"Climbing's an integral part of the
school curriculum."
"For everybody?"
"A little for everybody. With more advanced rock work for the
full-blown Muscle People - that's about one in twelve of the boys and one in
twenty-seven of the girls. We shall soon
be seeing some youngsters tackling their first post-elementary climb."
The green tunnel widened, brightened, and
suddenly they were out of the dripping forest on a wide shelf of almost level
ground, walled in on three sides by red rocks that towered up two thousand feet
and more into a succession of jagged crests and isolated pinnacles. There was a freshness in the air and, as they
passed from sunshine into the shadow of a floating island of cumulus, it was
almost cool. Dr Robert leaned forward
and pointed, through the windshield, at a group of white buildings on a little
knoll near the centre of the plateau.
"That's the High Altitude
Station," he said, "seven thousand feet up, with more than five
thousand acres of good flat land, where we can grow practically anything that
grows in southern Europe. Wheat and
barley; green peas and cabbages, lettuce and tomatoes (the fruit won't set
where night temperatures are over sixty-eight); gooseberries, strawberries,
walnuts, greengages, peaches, apricots.
Plus all the valuable plants that are native to high mountains at this
latitude - including the mushrooms that our young friend here so violently
disapproves of."
"Is this the place we're bound
for?" Will asked.
"No, we're going higher." Dr Robert pointed to the last outpost of the
range, a ridge of dark red rock from which the land sloped down on one side to
the jungle, and, on the other, mounted precipitously towards an unseen summit
lost in the clouds. "Up to the old
Shiva temple where the pilgrims used to come every spring and autumn equinox. It's one of my favourite places in the whole
island. When the children were small, we
used to go up there for picnics, Lakshmi and I, almost every week. How many years ago!" A note of sadness had come into his voice. He sighed and, leaning back in his seat,
closed his eyes.
They turned off the road that led to the
High Altitude Station and began to climb again.
"Entering the last, worst lap,"
said Vijaya. "Seven hairpin turns
and half a mile of unventilated tunnel."
He shifted into first gear and
conversation became impossible. Ten
minutes later they had arrived.
CHAPTER TEN
Cautiously
manoeuvring his immobilized leg, Will climbed out of the car and looked about
him. Between the red soaring crags to
the south and the headlong descents in every other direction the crest of the
ridge had been levelled, and at the mid-point of this long narrow terrace stood
the temple - a great red tower of the same substance as the mountains, massive,
four-sided, vertically ribbed. A thing
of symmetry in contrast with the rocks, but regular not as Euclidean
abstractions are regular; regular with the pragmatic geometry of a living
thing. Yes, of a living thing; for all
the temple's richly textured surfaces, all its bounding contours against the
sky curved organically inwards, narrowing as they mounted towards a ring of
marble, above which the red stone swelled out again, like the seed capsule of a
flowering plant, into a flattened, many-ribbed dome that crowned the whole.
"Built about fifty years before the
Norman Conquest," said Dr Robert.
"And looks," Will commented,
"as though it hadn't been built by anybody - as though it had grown out of
the rock. Grown like the bud of an
agave, on the point of rocketing up into a twelve-foot stalk and an explosion
of flowers."
Vijaya touched his arm. "Look he said. "A party of Elementaries coming
down."
Will turned towards the mountain and saw
a young man in nailed boots and climbing clothes working his way down a chimney
in the face of the precipice. At a place
where the chimney offered a convenient resting place he halted and, throwing
back his head, gave utterance to a loud Alpine yodel. Fifty feet above him a boy came out from
behind a buttress of rock, lowered himself from the ledge on which he was
standing, and started down the chimney.
"Does it tempt you?" Vijaya
asked, turning to Murugan.
Heavily overacting the part of the bored,
sophisticated adult who has something better to do than watch the children at
play, Murugan shrugged his shoulders.
"Not in the slightest."
He moved away and, sitting down on the weather-worn carving of a lion,
pulled a gaudily bound American magazine out of his pocket and started to read.
"What's the literature?" Vijaya
asked.
"Science Fiction." There was a ring of defiance in Murugan's
voice.
Dr Robert laughed. "Anything to escape from Fact."
Pretending not to have heard him, Murugan
turned a page and went on reading.
"He's pretty good," said
Vijaya, who had been watching the young climber's progress. "They have an experienced man at each
end of the rope," he added.
"You can't see the number one man.
He's behind that buttress in a parallel chimney thirty or forty feet
higher up. There's a permanent iron
spike up there, where you can belay the rope.
The whole party could fall, and they'd be perfectly safe."
Spread-eagled between footholds in either
wall of the narrow chimney, the leader kept shouting up instructions and
encouragement. Then, as the boy
approached, he yielded his place, climbed down another twenty feet and,
halting, yodelled again. Booted and
trousered, a tall girl with her hair in pigtails appeared from behind the
buttress and lowered herself into the chimney.
"Excellent!" said Vijaya
approvingly as he watched her.
Meanwhile, from a low building at the
foot of the cliff - the tropical version, evidently, of an Alpine hut - a group
of young people had come out to see what was happening. They belonged, Will was told, to three other
parties of climbers who had taken their Post-Elementary Test earlier in the
day.
"Does the best team win a
prize?" Will asked.
"Nobody wins anything," Vijaya
answered. "This isn't a
competition. It's more like an
ordeal."
"An ordeal," Dr Robert
explained, "which is the first stage of their initiation out of childhood
into adolescence. An ordeal that helps
them to understand the world they'll have to live in, helps them to realize the
omnipresence of death, the essential precariousness of all existence. But after the ordeal comes the
revelation. In a few minutes these boys
and girls will be given their first experience of the moksha-medicine. They'll all take it together, and they'll be
a religious ceremony in the temple."
"Something like the Confirmation
Service?"
"Except that this is more than just
a piece of theological rigmarole. Thanks
to the moksha-medicine, it includes an actual experience of the real
thing."
"The real thing?" Will shook his head. "Is there such a thing? I wish I could believe it."
"You're not being asked to believe
it," said Dr Robert. "The real
thing isn't a proposition; it's a state of being. We don't teach our children creeds or get
them worked up over emotionally charged symbols. When it's time for them to learn the deepest
truths of religion, we set them to climb a precipice and then give them four
hundred milligrammes of revelation. Two
first-hand experiences of reality, from which any reasonably intelligent boy or
girl can derive a very good idea of what's what."
"And don't forget the dear old power
problem," said Vijaya. "Rock
climbing's a branch of applied ethics; it's another preventive substitute for
bullying."
"So my father ought to have been an
Alpinist as well as a wood-chopper."
"One may laugh," said Vijaya,
duly laughing. "But the fact
remains that it works. It works. First and last I've climbed my way out of
literally scores of the ugliest temptations to throw my weight around - and my
weight being considerable," he added, "incitements were
correspondingly strong."
"There seems to be only one
catch," said Will. "In the
process of climbing your way out of temptation, you might fall and ..."
Suddenly remembering what had happened to Dugald MacPhail, he broke off.
It was Dr Robert who finished the
sentence. "Might fall," he
said slowly, "and kill yourself.
Dugald was climbing alone," he went on after a little pause. "Nobody knows what happened. The body wasn't found till the next
day." There was a long silence.
"Do you still think this is a good
idea?" Will asked, pointing with his bamboo staff at the tiny figures
crawling so laboriously on the face of that headlong wilderness of naked rock.
"I still think it's a good
idea," said Dr Robert.
"But poor Susila ..."
"Yes, poor Susila," Dr Robert
repeated. "And poor children, poor
Lakshmi, poor me. But if Dugald hadn't
made a habit of risking his life, it might have been poor everybody for other
reasons. Better court the danger of
killing yourself than court the danger
of killing other people, or at the very least making them miserable. Hurting them because you're naturally
aggressive and too prudent, or too ignorant, to work off your aggression on a
precipice. And now," he continued
in another tone, "I want to show you the view."
"And I'll go and talk to
those boys and girls." Vijaya walked
away towards the group at the foot of the red crags.
Leaving Murugan to his Science Fiction,
Will followed Dr Robert through a pillared gateway and across the wide stone
platform that surrounded the temple. At
one corner of this platform stood a small domed pavilion. They entered and, crossing to the wide
unglazed window, looked out. Rising to
the line of the horizon, like a solid wall of jade and lapis, was the sea. Below them, after a sheer fall of a thousand
feet, lay the green of the jungle.
Beyond the jungle, folded vertically into combe and buttress, terraced
horizontally into a huge man-made staircase of innumerable fields, the lower
slopes went steeply down into a wide plain, at whose furthest verge, between
the market gardens and the palm-fringed beach, stretched a considerable
city. Seen from this high vantage point
in its shining completeness, it looked like the tiny, meticulous painting of a
city in a medieval book of hours.
"There's Shivapuram," said Dr
Robert. "And that complex of
buildings on the hill beyond the river - that's the great Buddhist temple. A little earlier than Borabudur and the
sculpture is as fine as anything in Further India." There was a silence. "This little summer-house," he
resumed, "is where we used to eat our picnics when it was raining. I shall never forget the time when Dugald (he
must have been about ten) amused himself by climbing up here on the window
ledge and standing on one leg in the attitude of the dancing Shiva. Poor Lakshmi, she was scared out of her
wits. But Dugald was a born
steeplejack. Which only makes the
accident even more incomprehensible."
He shook his head; then, after another silence, The last time we all
came up here," he said, "was eight or nine months ago. Dugald was still alive and Lakshmi wasn't yet
too weak for a day's outing with her grandchildren. He did that Shiva stunt again for the benefit
of Tom Krishna and May Sarojini. On one
leg; and he kept his arms moving so fast that one could have sworn there were
four of them." Dr Robert broke
off. Picking up a flake of mortar from
the floor, he tossed it out of the window.
"Down, down, down ... Empty space.
Pascal avait son gouffre.
How strange that this should be at once the most powerful symbol of
death and the most powerful symbol of the fullest, intensest life." Suddenly his face lighted up. "Do you see that hawk?"
"A hawk?"
Dr Robert pointed to where, half-way
between their eyrie and the dark roof of the forest, a small brown incarnation
of speed and rapine lazily wheeled on unmoving wings. "It reminds me of a poem that the Old
Raja once wrote about this place."
Dr Robert was silent for a moment, then started to recite.
"Up
here, you ask me,
Up here aloft where Shiva
Dances above the world,
What the devil do I think I'm doing?
No answer, friend - except
That hawk below us turning,
Those black and arrowy swifts
Trailing long silver wires across the air -
The shrillness of their crying.
How far, you say, from the hot plains,
How far, reproachfully, from all my people!
And yet how close! For here between the cloudy
Sky and the sea below, suddenly visible,
I read their luminous secret and my own."
"And the secret, I take it, is this
empty space."
"Or, rather, what this empty space is
the symbol of - the Buddha Nature in all our perpetual perishing. Which reminds me ...” He looked at his watch.
"What's next on the programme?"
Will asked as they stepped out into the glare.
"The service in the temple," Dr
Robert answered. "The young
climbers will offer their accomplishment to Shiva - in other words, to their
own Suchness visualized as God. After
which they'll go on to the second part of their initiation - the experience of
being liberated from themselves."
"By means of the moksha-medicine?"
Dr Robert nodded. "Their leaders give it them before they
leave the Climbing Association's hut.
Then they come over to the temple.
The stuff starts working during the service. Incidentally," he added, "the
service is in Sanskrit, so you won't understand a word of it. Vijaya's address will be in English - he
speaks in his capacity as President of the Climbing Association. So will mine.
And of course the young people will mostly talk in English."
Inside the temple there was a cool,
cavernous darkness, tempered only by the faint daylight filtering through a
pair of small latticed windows and by the seven lamps that hung, like a halo of
yellow, quivering stars, above the head of the image on the altar. It was a copper statue, no taller than a
child, of Shiva. Surrounded by a
flame-fringed glory, his four arms gesturing, his braided hair wildly flying,
his right foot treading down a dwarfish figure of the most hideous malignity,
his left foot gracefully lifted, the god stood there, frozen in mid-ecstasy. No longer in their climbing dress, but
sandalled, bare-breasted and in shorts or brightly coloured skirts, a score of
boys and girls, together with the six young men who had acted as their leaders
and instructors, were sitting cross-legged on the floor. Above them, on the highest of the altar
steps, an old priest, shaven and yellow-robbed, was intoning something sonorous
and incomprehensible. Leaving Will
installed on a convenient ledge, Dr Robert tiptoed over to where Vijaya and
Murugan were sitting and squatted down beside them.
The splendid rumble of Sanskrit gave
place to a high nasal chant and the chanting in due course was succeeded by a
litany, priestly utterance alternating with congregational response.
And now incense was burned in a brass
thurible. The old priest held up his two
hands for silence, and through a long pregnant time of the most perfect
stillness the thread of grey incense smoke rose straight and unwavering before
the god, then as it met the draught from the windows broke and was lost to view
in an invisible cloud that the filled the whole dim space with the mysterious
fragrance of another world. Will opened
his eyes and saw that, alone of all the congregation, Murugan was restlessly
fidgeting. And not merely fidgeting -
making faces of impatient disapproval.
He himself had never climbed; therefore climbing was merely silly. He himself had always refused to try the moksha-medicine;
therefore those who used it were beyond the pale. His mother believed in the Ascended Masters
and chatted regularly with Koot Hoomi; therefore the image of Shiva was a
vulgar idol. What an eloquent pantomime,
Will thought as he watched the boy. But
alas for poor little Murugan, nobody was paying the slightest attention to his
antics.
"Shivanayama," said the
old priest, breaking the long silence, and again, "Shivanayama." He made a beckoning gesture.
Rising from her place, the tall girl whom
Will had seen working her way down the precipice, mounted the altar steps. Standing on tiptoe, her oiled body gleaming
like a second copper statue in the light of the lamps, she hung a garland of
pale yellow flowers on the uppermost of Shiva's two left arms. Then, laying palm to palm, she looked up into
the god's serenely smiling face and, in a voice that faltered at first, but
gradually grew steadier, began to speak.
"O you the creator, you the
destroyer, you who sustain and make an end,
Who in sunlight dance among the birds and the children at their play,
Who at midnight dance among corpses in the
burning grounds,
You Shiva, you dark and terrible Bhairava,
You Suchness and Illusion, the Void of All
Things,
You are the lord of death, and therefore I
have brought you my heart -
This heart that is now your burning-ground.
Ignorance there and self shall be consumed
with fire.
That you may dance, Bhairava, among the ashes.
That you may dance, Lord Shiva, in a place of
flowers,
And I dance with you."
Raising her arms, the girl made a gesture that
hinted at the ecstatic devotion of a hundred generations of dancing
worshippers, then turned away and walked back into the twilight. "Shivanayama," somebody
cried out. Murugan snorted
contemptuously as the refrain was taken up by other young voices. "Shivanayama, Shivanayama ...” The
old priest started to intone another passage from the scriptures. Half-way through his recitation a small grey
bird with a crimson head flew in through one of the latticed windows, fluttered
wildly around the altar lamps, then, chattering in loud indignant terror,
darted out again. The chanting
continued, swelled to a climax, and ended in the whispered prayer for peace: Shanti
shanti shanti. The old priest now
turned towards the altar, picked up a long taper and, borrowing flame from one
of the lamps above Shiva's head, proceeded to light seven other lamps that
hung within a deep niche beneath the
slab on which the dancer stood. Glinting
on polished convexities of metal, their light revealed another statue - this
time of Shiva and Parvati, of the Arch-Yogin seated; and, while two of his four
hands held aloft the symbolic drum and fire, he caressed with the second pair
the amorous Goddess, with her twining legs and arms, by whom, in this eternal
embrace of bronze, he was bestridden.
The old priest waved his hand.
This time it was a boy, dark-skinned and powerfully muscled, who stepped
into the light. Bending down, he hung
the garland he was carrying about Parvati's neck; then, twisting the long
flower chain, dropped a second loop of white orchids over Shiva's head.
"Each is both," he said.
"Each is both," the chorus of
young voices repeated.
Murugan violently shook his head.
"O you who are gone," said the
dark-skinned boy, "who are gone, who are gone to the other shore, who have
landed on the other shore, O you enlightenment and you other enlightenment, you
liberation made one with liberation, you compassion in the arms of infinite
compassion."
"Shivanayama."
He went back to his place. There was a long silence. Then Vijaya rose to his feet and began to
speak.
"Danger," he said, and again,
"danger. Danger deliberately and
yet lightly accepted. Danger shared with
a friend, a group of friends. Shared
consciously, shared to the limits of awareness so that the sharing and the
danger become a yoga. Two friends roped
together on a rock face. Sometimes three
friends or four. Each totally aware of
his own straining muscles, his own skill, his own fear, and his own spirit
transcending the fear. And each, of
course, aware at the same time of all the others, concerned for them, doing the
right things to make sure that they'll be safe.
Life at its highest pitch of bodily and mental tension, life more
abundant, more inestimably precious, because of the ever-present threat of
death. But after the yoga of danger
there's the yoga of the summit, the yoga of rest and letting go, the yoga of
complete and total receptiveness, the yoga that consists in consciously
accepting what is given as it is given, without censorship by your busy
moralistic mind, without any additions from your stock of second-hand ideas,
your even larger stock of wishful phantasies.
You just sit there with muscles relaxed and a mind open to the sunlight
and the clouds, open to distance and the horizon, open in the end to that
formless, wordless Not-Thought which the stillness of the summit permits you to
divine, profound and enduring, within the twittering flux of your everyday
thinking.
"And now it's time for the descent,
time for a second bout of the yoga of danger, time for a renewal of tension and
the awareness of life in its glowing plenitude as you hang precariously on the
brink of destruction. Then at the foot
of the precipice you unrope, you go striding down the rocky path towards the
first trees. And suddenly you're in the
forest, and another kind of yoga is called for - the yoga of the jungle, the
yoga that consists of being totally aware of life at the near-point, jungle
life in all its exuberance and its rotting, crawling squalor, all its melodramatic
ambivalence of orchids and centipedes, of leeches and sunbirds, of the drinkers
of nectar and the drinkers of blood.
Life bringing order out of chaos and ugliness, life performing its
miracles of birth and growth, but performing them, it seems, for no other
purpose than to destroy itself. Beauty
and horror, beauty," he repeated, "and horror. And then suddenly, as you come down from one
of your expeditions in the mountains, suddenly you know that there's a
reconciliation. And not merely a reconciliation. A fusion, and identity. Beauty made one with horror in the yoga of
the jungle. Life reconciled with the
perpetual imminence of death in the yoga of danger. Emptiness identified with selfhood in the
Sabbath yoga of the summit."
There was silence. Murugan yawned ostentatiously. The old priest lighted another stick of
incense and, muttering, waved it before the dancer, waved it again around the
cosmic love-making of Shiva and the Goddess.
"Breathe deeply," said Vijaya,
"and as you breathe, pay attention to this smell of incense. Pay your whole attention to it; now it for
what it is - an ineffable fact beyond words, beyond reason and
explanation. Know it in the raw. Know it as a mystery. Perfume, women, and prayer - those were the
three things that Mohammed loved above all others. The inexplicable data of breathed incense,
touched skin, felt love, and beyond them, the mystery of mysteries, the One in
plurality, the Emptiness that is all, the Suchness totally present in every
appearance, at every point and instant.
So breathe," he repeated, "breathe," and in a final
whisper, as he sat down, "breathe."
"Shivanayama," murmured
the old priest ecstatically.
Dr Robert rose and started towards the
altar, then halted, turned back and beckoned to Will Farnaby.
"Come and sit with me," he
whispered, when Will had caught up with him.
"I'd like you to see their faces."
"Shan't I be in the way?"
Dr Robert shook his head, and together
they moved forward, climbed and, three-quarters of the way up the altar stair,
sat down side by side in the penumbra between darkness and the light of the
lamps. Very quietly Dr Robert began to
talk about Shiva-Nataraja, the Lord of the Dance.
"Look at his image," he
said. "Look at it with these new
eyes that the moksha-medicine has given you. See how it breathes and pulses, how it grows
out of brightness into brightnesses every more intense. Dancing through time and out of time, dancing
everlastingly and in the eternal now.
Dancing and dancing in all the worlds at once. Look at him."
Scanning those upturned faces, Will
noted, now in one, now in another, the dawning illuminations of delight,
recognition, understanding, the signs of worshipping wonder that quivered on
the brinks of ecstasy or terror.
"Look closely," Dr Robert
insisted. "Look still more
closely." Then, after a long minute
of silence, "Dancing in all the worlds at once," he repeated. "In all the worlds. And first of all in the world of matter. Look at the great round halo, fringed with
the symbols of fire, within which the god is dancing. It stands for Nature, for the world of mass
and energy. Within it Shiva-Nataraja
dances the dance of endless becoming and passing away. It's his lila, his cosmic play. Playing for the sake of playing, like a
child. But this child is the Order of
Things. His toys are galaxies, his
playground is infinite space, and between finger and finger every interval is a
thousand million light years. Look at
him there on the altar. The image is
man-made, a little contraption of copper only four feet high. But Shiva-Nataraja fills the universe, is
the universe. Shut your eyes and see him
towering into the night, follow the bondless stretch of those arms and the wild
hair infinitely flying. Nataraja at play
among the stars and in the atoms. But
also," he added, "also at play within every living thing. Play for play's sake. But now the playground is conscious, the
dance-floor is capable of suffering. To
us, this play without purpose seems an kind of insult. What we would really like is a God who never
destroys what he has created. Or if
there must be pain and death, let them be meted out by a God of righteousness,
who will punish the wicked and reward the good with everlasting happiness. But in fact the good get hurt, the innocent
suffer. Then let there be a God who
sympathizes and brings comfort. But
Nataraja only dances. His play is a play
impartially of death and of life, of all evils as well as of all goods. In the uppermost of his right hands he holds
the drum that summons being out of not-being.
Rub-a-dub-dub - the creation tattoo, the cosmic reveille. But now look at the uppermost of his left
hands. It brandishes the fire by which
all that has been created is forthwith destroyed. He dances this way - what happiness! Dances that way - and oh, the pain, the
hideous fear, the desolation! Then hop,
skip and jump. Hop into perfect health. Skip into cancer and senility. Jump out of the fullness of life into
nothingness, out of nothingness again into life. For Nataraja it's all play, and the play is
an end in itself, everlastingly purposeless.
He dances because he dances, and the dancing is his maha-sukha,
his infinite and eternal bliss. Eternal
Bliss," Dr Robert repeated and again, but questioningly, "Eternal
Bliss?" He shook his head. "For us there's no bliss, only the
oscillation between happiness and terror and a sense of outrage at the thought
that our pains are as integral a part of Nataraja's dance as our pleasures, our
dying as our living. Let's quietly thank
him about that for a little while."
The seconds passed, the silence
deepened. Suddenly, startlingly one of
the girls began to sob. Vijaya left his
place and, kneeling down beside her, laid a hand on her shoulder. The sobbing died down.
"Suffering and sickness," Dr
Robert resumed at last, "old age, decrepitude, death. I show you sorrow. But that wasn't the only thing the Buddha
showed us. He also showed us the ending
of sorrow."
"Shivanayama," the old
priest cried triumphantly.
"Open your eyes again and look at
Nataraja up there on the altar. Look
closely. In his upper right hand, as
you've already seen, he holds the drum that calls the world into existence, and
in his upper left hand he carried the destroying fire. Life and death, order and disintegration,
impartially. But now look at Shiva's
other pair of hands. The lower right
hand is raised and the palm is turned outwards.
What does that gesture signify?
It signifies, 'Don't be afraid; it's All Right.' But how can anyone in his senses fail to be
afraid? How can anyone pretend that evil
and suffering are all right, when it's so obvious that they're all wrong? Nataraja has the answer. Look now at the lower left hand. He's using it to point down at his feet. And what are his feet doing? Look closely and you'll see that his right
foot is planted squarely on a horrible little subhuman creature - the demon,
Muyalaka. A dwarf, but immensely powerful
in his malignity, Muyalaka is the embodiment of ignorance, the manifestation of
greedy, possessive selfhood. Stamp on
him, break his back! And that's
precisely what Nataraja is doing.
Trampling the little monster down under his right foot. But notice that it isn't at this trampling
foot that he points his finger; it's at the left foot, the foot that, as he
dances, he's in the act of raising from the ground. And why does he point at it? Why?
That lifted foot, that dancing defiance of the force of gravity - it's
the symbol of release, of moksha, of liberation. Nataraja dances in all the worlds at once -
in the world of physics and chemistry, in the world of ordinary, all-too-human
experience, in the world finally of Suchness, of Mind, of the Clear Light. And now," Dr Robert went on after a
moment of silence, "I want you to look at the other statue, the image of
Shiva and the Goddess. Look at them
there in their little cave of light. And
now shut your eyes and see them again - shining, alive, glorified! How beautiful! And in their tenderness what depths of
meaning! What wisdom beyond all spoken
wisdoms in that sensual experience of spiritual fusion and atonement! Eternity in love with time. The One joined in marriage to the many, the
relative made absolute by its union with the One. Nirvana identified with samsara, the
manifestation in time and flesh and feeling of the Buddha Nature."
"Shivanayama." The old priest lighted another stick of
incense and softly, in a succession of long-drawn melismata, began to chant
something in Sanskrit. On the young
faces before him Will could read the marks of a listening serenity, the hardly
perceptible, ecstatic smile that welcomes a sudden insight, a revelation of
truth or of beauty. In the background,
meanwhile, Murugan sat wearily slumped against a pillar, picking his exquisitely
Grecian nose.
"Liberation," Dr Robert began
again, "the ending of sorrow, ceasing to be what you ignorantly think you
are and becoming what you are in fact.
For a little while, thanks to the moksha-medicine, you will know what
it's like to be what in fact you are, what in fact you always have been. What a timeless bliss! But, like everything else, this timelessness
is transient. Like everything else, it
will pass. And when it has passed, what
will you do with this experience? What
will you do with all the other similar experiences that the moksha-medicine
will bring you in the years to come?
Will you merely enjoy them as you would enjoy an evening at the puppet
show, and then go back to business as usual, back to behaving like the silly
delinquents you imagine yourselves to be?
Or, having glimpsed, will you devote your lives to the business, not at
all as usual, of being what you are in fact?
All that we older people can do with our teachings, all that Pala can do
for you with its social arrangements, is to provide you with techniques and
opportunities. And all that the moksha-medicine
can do is to give you a succession of beatific glimpses, an hour or two, every
now and then, of enlightening and liberating grace. It remains for you to decide whether you'll
co-operate with the grace and take these opportunities. But that's for the future. Here and now, all you have to do is follow
the mynah bird's advice: Attention! Pay
attention and you'll find yourselves, gradually or suddenly, becoming aware of
the great primordial facts behind these symbols on the altar."
"Shivanayama!" The old priest waved his stick of
incense. At the foot of the altar steps
the boys and girls sat motionless as statues.
A door creaked, there was a sound of footsteps. Will turned his head and saw a short,
thickset man picking his way between t he young contemplatives. He mounted the steps and, bending down,
murmured something in Dr Robert's ear, then turned and walked back towards the
door.
Dr Robert laid a hand on Will's
knee. "It's a royal command,"
he whispered, with a smile and a shrug of the shoulders. "That was the man in charge of the
Alpine hut. The Rani has just telephoned
to say that she has to see Murugan as soon as possible. It's urgent." Laughing noiselessly, he rose and helped Will
to his feet.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Will
Farnaby had made his own breakfast and, when Dr Robert returned from his early
morning visit to the hospital, was drinking his second cup of Palanese tea and eating
toasted bread-fruit with pumelo marmalade.
"Not too much pain in the
night," was Dr Robert's response to his inquiries. "Lakshmi had four or five hours of good
sleep, and this morning she was able to take some broth."
They could look forward, he continued, to
another day of respite. And so, since it
tired the patient to have him there all the time, and since life, after all,
had to go on and be made the best of, he had decided to drive up to the High
Altitude Station and put in a few hours' work on the research team in the
pharmaceutical laboratory."
"Work on the moksha-medicine?"
Dr Robert shook his head. "That's just a matter of repeating a
standard operation - something for technicians, not for the researchers. They're busy with something new."
And he began to talk about the indoles
recently isolated from the ololiuqui seeds that had been brought in from Mexico
last year and were now being grown in the Station's botanic garden. At least three different indoles, of which
one seemed to be extremely potent.
Animal experiments indicated that it affected the reticular system ...
Left to himself, Will sat down under the
overhead fan and went on with his reading of the Notes on What's What.
We cannot
reason ourselves out of our basic irrationality. All we can do is to learn the art of being
irrational in a reasonable way.
In Pala, after three generations of
Reform, there are no sheeplike flocks and no ecclesiastical Good Shepherds to
shear and castrate; there are no bovine or swinish herds and no licensed
drovers, royal or military, capitalistic or revolutionary, to brand, confine,
and butcher. There are only voluntary
associations of men and women on the road to full humanity.
Tunes or pebbles, processes or
substantial things? 'Tunes,' answer
Buddhism and modern science. 'Pebbles,'
say the classical philosophers of the West.
Buddhism and modern science think of the world in terms of music. The image that comes to mind when one reads
the philosophers of the West, is a figure in a Byzantine mosaic, rigid,
symmetrical, made up of millions of little squares of some stony material and
firmly cemented to the walls of a windowless basilica.
The dancer's grace and, forty years on,
her arthritis - both are functions of the skeleton. It is thanks to an inflexible framework of
bones that the girl is able to do her pirouettes, thanks to the same bones,
grown a little rusty, that the grandmother is condemned to a wheelchair. Analogously, the firm support of a culture is
the prime condition of all individual originality and creativeness; it is also
their principal enemy. The thing in
whose absence we cannot possibly grow into complete human beings is, all too
often, the thing that prevents us from growing.
A century of research on the moksha-medicine
has clearly shown that quite ordinary people are perfectly capable of having
visionary or even fully liberating experiences.
In this respect the men and women who make and enjoy high culture are no
better off than the lowbrows. High
experience is perfectly compatible with low symbolic expression. The expressive symbols created by Palanese
artists are no better than the expressive symbols created by artists
elsewhere. Being the products of
happiness and a sense of fulfilment, they are probably less moving, probably
less satisfying aesthetically, than the tragic or compensatory symbols created
by victims of frustration and ignorance, of tyranny, war and guilt-fostering
crime-inciting superstitions. Palanese
superiority does not lie in symbolic expression but in an art which, though
higher and far more valuable than all the rest, can yet be practised by
everyone - the art of adequately experiencing, the art of becoming more
intimately acquainted with all the worlds that, as human beings, we find ourselves
inhabiting. Palanese culture is not to
be judged as (for lack of any better criterion) we judge other cultures. It is not to be judged by the accomplishments
of a few gifted manipulators of artistic or philosophical symbols. No, it is to be judged by what all the
members of the community, the ordinary as well as the extraordinary, can and do
experience in every contingency and at each successive intersection of time
with eternity.
The telephone bell had started to
ring. Should he let it ring, or would it
be better to answer and let the caller know that Dr Robert was out for the
day? Deciding on the second course, Will
lifted the receiver.
"Dr MacPhail's bungalow," he
said, in a parody of secretarial efficiency.
"But the doctor is out for the day."
"Tant mieux," said the
rich royal voice at the other end of the wire.
"How are you, mon cher Farnaby?"
Taken aback, Will stammered out his
thanks for Her Highness's gracious inquiry.
"So they took you," said the
Rani, "to see one of their so-called initiations yesterday
afternoon."
Will had recovered sufficiently from his
surprise to respond with a neutral word and in the most noncommittal of
tones. "It was most
remarkable," he said.
"Remarkable," said the Rani, dwelling
emphatically on the spoken equivalents of pejorative and laudatory capital
letters, "but only as the Blasphemous Caricature of TRUE Initiation. They've never learned to make the elemental
distinction between the Natural Order and the Supernatural."
"Quite," Will murmured,
"Quite ..."
"What did you say?" the voice
at the other end of the line demanded.
"Quite," Will repeated more
loudly.
"I'm glad you agree. But I didn't call you," the Rani went
on, "to discuss the difference between the Natural and the Supernatural -
Supremely Important as that difference is.
No, I called you about a more urgent matter."
"Oil?"
"Oil," she confirmed. "I've just received a very disquieting
communication from my Personal Representative in Rendang. Very Highly Placed," she added
parenthetically, "and invariably Well Informed."
Will found himself wondering which of all
those sleek and much-bemedalled guests at the Foreign Office cocktail party had
double-crossed his fellow double-crossers - himself, of course, included."
"Within the last few days," the
Rani went on, "representatives of no less than three Major Oil Companies,
European and American, have flown into Rendang-Lobo. My Informant tells me that they're already
working on the four or five Key Figures in the Administration who might, at
some future date, be influential in deciding who is to get the concession for
Pala."
Will clicked his tongue disapprovingly.
Considerable sums, she hinted, had been,
if not directly offered, at least named and temptingly dangled.
"Nefarious," he commented.
Nefarious, the Rani agreed, was the
word. And that was why Something must be
Done About It, and Done Immediately.
From Bahu she had learned that Will had already written to Lord
Aldehyde, and within a few days a reply would doubtless be forthcoming. But a few days were too long. Time was of the essence - not only because of
what those rival companies were up to, but also (and the Rani lowered her voice
mysteriously) for Other Reasons.
"Now, now!" her Little Voice kept exhorting. "Now, without delay!" Lord Aldehyde must be informed by cable of
what was happening (the faithful Bahu, she added parenthetically, had offered
to transmit the message in code by way of the Rendang Legation in London) and
along with the information must go an urgent request that he empower his
Special Correspondent to take such steps - at this stage the appropriate steps
would be predominantly of a financial nature - as might be necessary to secure
the triumph of their Common Cause.
"So with your permission," the
voice concluded, "I'll tell Bahu to send the cable immediately. In our joint names, Mr Farnaby, yours and
Mine. I hope, mon cher, that this
will be agreeable to you."
It wasn't at all agreeable, but there
seemed to be no excuse, seeing that he had already written that letter to Joe
Aldehyde, for demurring, And so, "Yes, of course," he cried with a
show of enthusiasm belied by his long dubious pause, before the words were
uttered, in search of an alternative answer.
"We ought to get the reply sometime tomorrow," he added.
"We shall get it tonight," the
Rani assured him.
"Is that possible?"
"With God" (con espressione)
"all things are possible."
"Quite," he said,
"quite. But still ..."
"I go by what my Little Voice tells
me. 'Tonight,' it's saying. And 'he will give Mr Farnaby carte blanche',
carte blanche," she repeated with gusto. "'And Farnaby will be completely
successful.'"
"I wonder," he said doubtfully.
"You must be
successful."
"Must be?"
"Must be," she insisted.
"Why?"
"Because it was God who
inspired me to launch the Crusade of the Spirit."
"I don't quite get the
connection."
"Perhaps I oughtn't to tell
you," she said. Then, after a
moment of silence, "But, after all, why not? If our Cause triumphs, Lord Aldehyde has
promised to back the Crusade with all his resources. And since God wants the Crusade to succeed,
our Cause cannot fail to triumph."
"QED," he wanted to shout, but
restrained himself. It wouldn't be
polite. And anyhow, this was no joking
matter.
"Well, I must call Bahu," said
the Rani. "A bientôt,"
my dear Farnaby." And she rang off.
Shrugging his shoulders, Will turned back
to the Notes on What's What. What
else was there to do?
Dualism ...
Without it there can hardly be good literature.
With it, there most certainly can be no good life.
'I' affirms a separate and abiding
me-substance, 'am' denies the fact that all existence is relationship and
change. 'I am.'
Two tiny words; but what an enormity of
untruth!
The religiously minded dualist calls
home-made spirits from the vasty deep: The non-dualist calls the vasty deep
into his spirit, or, to be more accurate, he finds that the vasty deep is
already there.
There was the noise of an approaching
car, then silence as the motor was turned off, then the slamming of a door and
the sound of footsteps on gravel, on the steps of the veranda.
"Are you ready?" called
Vijaya's deep voice.
Will put down the Notes on What's What,
picked up his bamboo staff and, hoisting himself to his feet, walked to the
front door.
"Ready and champing at the
bit," he said as he stepped out on to the veranda.
"Then let's go." Vijaya took his arm. "Careful of these steps," he
recommended.
Dressed all in pink and with corals round
her neck and in her ears, a plump, round-faced woman in her middle forties was
standing beside the jeep.
"This is Leela Rao," said
Vijaya. "Our librarian, secretary,
treasurer, and general keeper-in-order.
Without her we'd be lost."
She looked, Will thought as he shook
hands with her, like a browner version of one of those gentle but inexhaustibly
energetic English ladies who, when their children are grown up, go in for good
works or organized culture. Not too
intelligent, poor dears; but how selfless, how devoted, how genuinely good -
and, alas, how boring!
"I was hearing of you," Mrs Rao
volunteered as they rattled along past the lotus pond and out on to the
highway, "from my young friends, Radha and Ranga."
"I hope," said Will, "that
they approved of me as heartily as I approved of them."
Mrs Rao's face brightened with
pleasure. "I'm so glad you like
them!"
"Ranga's exceptionally bright,"
Vijaya put in.
And so delicately balanced, Mrs Rao
elaborated, between introversion and the outside world. Always tempted - and how strongly! - to
escape into the Arhat's Nirvana or the scientist's beautifully tidy little
paradise of pure abstraction. Always
tempted, but often resisting temptation, for Ranga, the Arhat-scientist, was
also another kind of Ranga, a Ranga capable of compassion, ready, if one knew
how to make the right kind of appeal, to lay himself open to the concrete
realities of life, to be aware, concerned and actively helpful. How fortunate for him and for everyone else
that he had found a girl like little Radha, a girl so intelligently simple, so
humorous and tender, so richly endowed for love and happiness! Radha and Ranga, Mrs Rao confided, had been
among her favourite pupils.
Pupils, Will patronizingly assumed, in
some kind of Buddhist Sunday School. But
in fact, as he was now flabbergasted to learn, it was in the yoga of love that
this devoted Settlement Worker had been, for the past six years and in the
intervals of librarianship, instructing the young. By the kind of methods, Will supposed, that
Murugan had shrunk from and the Rani, in her all but incestuous possessiveness,
had found so outrageous. He opened his
mouth to question her. But his reflexes
had been conditioned in higher altitude and by Settlement Workers of another
species. The questions simply refused to
pass his lips. And now it was too late
to ask them. Mrs Rao had began to talk
about her other avocation.
"If you knew," she was saying,
"what trouble we have with books in this climate! The paper rots, the glue liquefies, the
bindings disintegrate, the insects devour.
Literature and the tropics are really incompatible."
"And if one's to believe your Old
Raja," said Will, "literature is incompatible with a lot of other
local features besides your climate - incompatible with human integrity,
incompatible with philosophical truth, incompatible with individual sanity and
a decent social system, incompatible with everything except dualism criminal
lunacy, impossible aspiration, and unnecessary guilt. But never mind." He grinned ferociously. "Colonel Dipa will put everything
right. After Pala has been invaded and
made safe for war and oil and heavy industry, you'll undoubtedly have a Golden
Age of literature and theology."
"I'd like to laugh," said
Vijaya. "The only trouble is that you're probably right. I have an uncomfortable feeling that my
children will grow up to see your prophecy come true."
They left their jeep, parked between an
oxcart and a brand new Japanese lorry, at the entrance to the village, and
proceeded on foot. Between thatched
houses, set in gardens shaded by palms and papayas and breadfruit trees, the
narrow street led to a central market place.
Will halted and, leaning on his bamboo staff, looked around him. On one side of the square stood a charming
piece of oriental rococo with a pink stucco façade and gazebos at the four
corners - evidently the town hall.
Facing it, on the opposite side of the square, rose a small temple of
reddish stone, with a central tower on which, tier after tier, a host of
sculptured figures recounted the legend of the Buddha's progress from spoiled
child to Tathagata. Between these two
monuments, more than half of the open space was covered by a huge banyan tree. Along its winding and shadowy isles were
ranged the stalls of a score of merchants and market women. Slanting down through chinks in the green
vaulting overhead, the long probes of sunlight picked out here a row of black
and yellow water jars, there a silver bracelet, a painted wooden toy, a bolt of
cotton print; here a pile of fruits, and a girl's gaily flowered bodice, there
a flash of laughing teeth and eyes, the ruddy gold of a naked torso.
"Everybody looks so healthy,"
Will commented, as they made their way between the stalls under the great tree.
"They look healthy because they are
healthy," said Mrs Rao.
"And happy - for a
change." He was thinking of the
faces he had seen in Calcutta, in Manila, in Rendang-Lobo - the faces, for that
matter, one saw every day in Fleet Street and the Strand. "Even the women," he noted,
glancing from face to face, "even the women look happy."
"They don't have ten children,"
Mrs Rao explained.
"They don't have ten children where
I come from," said Will. "In
spite of which ... 'Marks of weakness, marks of woe'." He halted for a moment to watch a middle-aged
market woman weighing out slices of sun-dried breadfruit for a very young
mother with a baby in a carrying bag on her back. "There's a kind of radiance," he
concluded.
"Thanks to maithuna,"
said Mrs Rao triumphantly. "Thanks
to the yoga of love." Her face
shone with a mixture of religious fervour and professional pride.
They walked out from under the shadow of
the banyan, across a stretch of fierce sunlight, up a flight of worn steps and
into the gloom of the temple. A golden
Bodhisattva loomed, gigantic, out of the darkness. There was a smell of incense and fading
flowers, and from somewhere behind the statue the voice of an unseen worshipper
was muttering an endless litany.
Noislessly, on bare feet, a little girl came hurrying in from a side
door. Paying no attention to the
grown-ups she climbed with the agility of a cat on to the altar and laid a
spray of white orchids on the statue's upturned palm. Then, looking up into the huge golden face,
she murmured a few words, shut her eyes for a moment, murmured again, then
turned, scrambled down and, softly singing to herself, went out by the door
through which she had entered.
"Charming," said Will, as he
watched her go. "Couldn't be
prettier. But precisely what does a
child like that think she's doing? What
kind of religion is she supposed to be practising?"
"She's practising," Vijaya
explained, "the local brand of Mahayana Buddhism., with a bit of Shivaism,
probably, on the side."
"And do you highbrows encourage this
kind of thing?"
"We neither encourage nor
discourage. We accept it. Accept it as we accept that spider web up
there on the cornice. Given the nature
of spiders, webs are inevitable. And
given the nature of human beings, so are religions. Spiders can't help making fly-traps, and men
can't help making symbols. That's what
the human brain is there for - to turn the chaos of given experience into a set
of manageable symbols. Sometimes the
symbols correspond fairly closely to some of the aspects of the external
reality behind our experience; then you have science and common sense. Sometimes, on the contrary, the symbols have
almost no connection with external reality; then you have paranoia and delirium. More often there's a mixture, part realistic
and part fantastic; that's religion.
Good religion or bad religion - it depends on the blending of the
cocktail. For example, in the kind of
Calvinism that Dr Andrew was brought up in, you're given only the tiniest
jigger of realism to a whole jug-full of malignant fancy. In other cases the mixture is more
wholesome. Fifty-fifty, or even
sixty-forty, even seventy-thirty in favour of truth and decency. Our local Old Fashioned contains a remarkably
small admixture of poison."
Will nodded. "Offerings of white orchids to an image
of compassion and enlightenment - it certainly seems harmless enough. And after what I saw yesterday, I'd be
prepared to put in a good word for cosmic dancing and divine copulations."
"And remember," said Vijaya,
"this sort of thing isn't compulsory.
Everybody's given a chance to go further. You asked what the child thinks she's
doing. I'll tell you. With one part of her mind, she thinks she
talking to a person - an enormous, divine person who can be cajoled with orchids
into giving her what she wants. But
she's already old enough to have been told about the profounder symbols behind
Amitabha's statue and about the experiences that give birth to those profounder
symbols. Consequently with another part
of her mind she knows perfectly well that Amitabha isn't a person. She even knows, because it's been explained
to her, that if prayers are sometimes answered it's because, in this very odd
psycho-physical world of ours, ideas have a tendency, if you concentrate your mind
on them, to get themselves realized. She
knows too that this temple isn't what she still likes to think it is - the
house of Buddha. She knows it's just a
diagram of her own unconscious mind - a dark little cubby-hole with lizards
crawling upside down on the ceiling, and cockroaches in all the crevices. But at the heart of the verminous darkness
sits Enlightenment. And that's another
thing the child is doing - she's unconsciously learning a lesson about herself,
she's being told that if she only stopped giving herself suggestions to the
contrary, she might discover that her own busy little mind is also Mind with a
large M."
"And how soon will the lesson be
learned?" When will she stop giving
herself those suggestions?"
"She may never learn. A lot of people don't. On the other hand, a lot of people do."
He took Will's arm and led him into the
deeper darkness behind the image of Enlightenment. The chanting grew more distinct, and there,
hardly visible in the shadows, sat the chanter - a very old man, naked to the
waist and, except for his moving lips, as rigidly still as Amitabha's golden
statue."
"What's he intoning?" Will
asked.
"Something in Sanskrit."
Seven incomprehensible syllables, again
and again."
"Good old vain repetition!"
"Not necessarily vain," Mrs Rao
objected. "Sometimes it really gets
you somewhere."
"It gets you somewhere," Vijaya
elaborated, "not because of what the words mean or suggest, but simply
because they're being repeated. You
could repeat Hey Diddle Diddle and it would work just as well as Om
or Kyrie Eleison or La ila illa 'llah. It works because when you're busy with the
repetition of Hey Diddle Diddle or the name of God, you can't be
entirely preoccupied with yourself. The
only trouble is that you can Hey-Diddle-Diddle yourself downwards as well as
upwards - down into the not-thought of idiocy as well as up into the
not-thought of pure awareness."
"So, I take it, you wouldn't
recommend this kind of thing," said Will, "to our little friend with
the orchids?"
"Not unless she were unusually
jittery or anxious. Which she
isn't. I know her very well; she plays
with my children."
"Then what would you do in her
case?"
"Among other things," said
Vijaya, "I'd take her, in another year or so, to the place we're going to
now."
"What place?"
"The meditation room."
Will followed him through an archway and
along a short corridor. Heavy curtains
were parted and they stepped into a large whitewashed room with a long window,
to their left, that opened on to a little garden planted with banana and
breadfruit trees. There was no
furniture, only a scattering on the floor of small square cushions. On the wall opposite the window hung a large
oil painting. Will gave it a glance,
then approached to look into it more closely.
"My word!" he said at
last. "Who is it by?"
"Gobind Singh."
"And who's Gobind Singh?"
"The best landscape painter Pala
ever produced. He died in
forty-eight."
"Why haven't we ever seen anything
by him?"
"Because we like his work too well to
ever export any of it."
"Good for you," said Will. "But bad for us." He looked again at the picture. "Did this man ever go to China?"
"No; but he studied with a Cantonese
painter who was living in Pala. And of
course he'd seen plenty of reproductions of Sung landscapes."
"A Sung master," said Will,
"who chose to paint in oils and was interested in chiaroscuro."
"Only after he went to Paris. That was in 1910. He struck up a friendship with
Vuillard."
Will nodded. "One might have guessed as much from
this extraordinary richness of texture."
He went on looking at the picture in silence. "Why do you hang it in the meditating
room?" he asked at last.
"Why do you suppose?" Vijaya
countered.
"Is it because this thing is what
you call a diagram of the mind?"
"The temple was a diagram. This is something much better. It's an actual manifestation. A manifestation of Mind with a large M in an
individual mind in relation to a landscape, to canvas, and to the experience of
painting. It's a picture, incidentally,
of the next valley to the west. Painted
from the place where the power lines disappear over the ridge."
"What clouds!" said Will. "And the light!"
"The light," Vijaya elaborated,
"of the last hour before dusk. It's
just stopped raining and the sun has come out again, brighter than ever. Bright with the preternatural brightness of
slanting light under a ceiling of cloud, the last, doomed, afternoon brightness
that stipples every surface it touches and deepens every shadow."
"Deepens every shadow," Will
repeated to himself, as he looked into the picture. The shadow of that huge, high continent of
cloud, darkening whole mountain ranges almost to blackness; and in the middle
distance the shadows of island clouds.
And between dark and dark was the blaze of young rice, or the red heat
of ploughed earth, the incandescence of naked limestone, the sumptuous darks
and diamond glitter of evergreen foliage.
And here at the centre of the valley stood a group of thatched houses,
remote and tiny, but how clearly seen, how perfect and articulate, how
profoundly significant! Yes,
significant. But when you asked yourself
"Of what?" you found no answer.
Will put the question into words.
"What do they mean?" Vijaya
repeated. "They mean precisely what
they are. And so do the mountains, so do
the clouds, so do the lights and darks.
And that's why this is a genuinely religious image. Pseudo-religious pictures always refer to
something else, something beyond the things they represent - some piece of metaphysical
nonsense, some absurd dogma from the local theology. A genuinely religious image is always
intrinsically meaningful. So that's why
we hang this kind of painting in our meditation room."
"Always landscapes?"
"Almost always. Landscapes can really remind people of who
they are."
"Better than scenes from the life of
a Saint or Saviour?
Vijaya nodded. "It's the difference, to begin with,
between objective and subjective. A
picture of Christ or Buddha is merely the record of something observed by a
Behaviourist and interpreted by a theologian.
But when you're confronted with a landscape like this, it's
psychologically impossible for you to look at it with the eyes of a J.B. Watson
or the mind of a Thomas Aquinas. You're
almost forced to submit to your immediate experience; you're practically
compelled to perform an act of self-knowing."
"Self-knowing?"
"Self-knowing," Vijaya
insisted. "This view of the next
valley is a view, at one remove, of your own mind, of everybody's mind as it
exists above and below the level of personal history. Mysteries of darkness; but the darkness teems
with life. Apocalypses of light; and the
light shines out as brightly from the flimsy little houses as from the trees,
the grass, the blue spaces between the clouds.
We do our best to disprove the fact, but a fact it remains; man is as
divine as nature, as infinite as the Void.
But that's getting perilously close to theology, and nobody was ever
saved by a notion. Stick to the data,
stick to the concrete facts." He
pointed a finger at the picture.
"The fact of half a village in sunshine and half in shadow and in
secret. The fact of those indigo
mountains and of the more fantastic mountains of vapour above them. The fact of blue lakes in the sky, lakes of
pale green and raw sienna on the sunlight earth. The fact of this grass in the foreground,
this clump of bamboos only a few yards down the slope, and the fact, at the
same time, of those far-away peaks and the absurd little houses two thousand
feet below in the valley.
Distance," he added, parenthetically, "their ability to
express the fact of distance - that's yet another reason why landscapes are the
most genuinely religious pictures."
"Because distance lends enchantment
to the view?"
"No; because it lends reality. Distance reminds us that there's a lot more
to the universe than just people. It
reminds us that there are mental spaces inside our skulls as enormous as the
spaces out there. The experience of
distance, of inner distance and outer distance, of distance in time and
distance in space - it's the first and fundamental religious experience. 'O Death in life, the days that are no more'
- and O the places, the infinite number of places that are not this
place! Past pleasures, past
unhappinesses and insights - all so intensely alive in our memories and yet all
dead, dead without hope of resurrection.
And the village down there in the valley so clearly seen even in the
shadow, so real and indubitable, and yet so hopelessly out of reach,
incommunicado. A picture like this is
the proof of man's capacity to accept all the deaths in life, all the yawning
absences surrounding every presence. To
my mind," Vijaya added, "the worst feature of your
non-representational art is its systematic two-dimensionality, its refusal to
take account of the universal experience of distance. As a coloured object, a piece of abstract
expression can be very handsome. It can
also serve as a kind of glorified Rorscharch ink blot. Everybody can find in it a symbolic
expression of his own fears, lusts, hatreds, and daydreams. But can one ever find in it those more than
human (or should one say those other than all too human) facts that one
discovers in oneself when the mind is confronted by the outer distances of
nature, or by the simultaneously inner and outer distances of a painted
landscape like this one we're looking at?
All I know is that in your abstractions I don't find the realities that
reveal themselves here, and I doubt if anyone else can. Which is why this fashionable abstract
non-objective expression of yours is so fundamentally irreligious - and also, I
may add, why even the best of it is so profoundly boring, so bottomlessly
trivial."
"Do you come here often?" Will
asked after a silence.
"Whenever I feel like meditating in
a group rather than alone."
"How often is that?"
"Once every week or so. But of course some people like to do it
oftener - and some much more rarely, or even never. It depends on one's temperament. Take our friend Susila, for example - she
needs big doses of solitude; so she hardly ever comes to the meditation
room. Whereas Shanta (that's my wife)
likes to look in here almost every day."
"So do I," said Mrs Rao. "But that's only to be expected,"
she added with a laugh. "Fat people
enjoy company - even when they're meditating."
"And do you meditate on this
picture?" Will asked.
"Not on it. From it, if you see what I mean. Or, rather, parallel with it. I look at it, and it reminds us all of who we
are and what we aren't, and how what we aren't might turn into who we
are."
"Is there any connection," Will
asked, "between what you've been talking about and what I saw up there in
the Shiva temple?"
"Of course there is," she
answered. "The moksha-medicine
takes you to the same place as you get to in meditation."
"So why bother to meditate?"
"You might as well ask, Why bother
to eat your dinner?"
"But, according to you, the moksha-medicine
is dinner."
"It's a banquet," she said
emphatically. "And that's precisely
why there has to be meditation. You
can't have banquets every day. They're
too rich and they last too long.
Besides, banquets are provided by a caterer; you don't have any
part in the preparation of them. For
your everyday diet you have to do your own cooking. The moksha-medicine comes as an
occasional treat."
"In theological terms," said
Vijaya, "the moksha-medicine prepares one for the reception of
gratuitous graces - pre-mystical visions or the full-blown mystical
experience. Meditation is one of the
ways in which one co-operates with those gratuitous graces."
"How?"
"By cultivating the state of mind
that makes it possible for the dazzling ecstatic insights to become permanent
and habitual illuminations. By getting
to know oneself to the point where one won't be compelled by one's unconscious
to do all the ugly, absurd, self-stultifying things that one so often finds
oneself doing."
"You mean, it helps one to become
more intelligent?"
"Not more intelligent in relation to
science or logical argument - more intelligent on the deeper level of concrete
experiences and personal relationships."
"More intelligent on that
level," said Mrs Rao, "even though one may be very stupid
upstairs." She patted the top of
her head, "I'm too dumb to be any good at the things that Dr Robert and
Vijaya are good at - genetics and biochemistry and philosophy and all the
rest. And I'm no good at painting or
poetry or acting. No talents and no
cleverness. So I ought to feel horribly
inferior and depressed. But in fact I
don't - thanks entirely to the moksha-medicine and mediation. No talents or cleverness. But when it comes to living, when it comes to
understanding people and helping them, I feel myself growing more and more sensitive
and skilful. And when it comes to what
Vijaya calls gratuitous graces ..."
She broke off. "You could be
the greatest genius in the world, but you wouldn't have anything more than what
I've been given. Isn't that true,
Vijaya?"
"Perfectly true."
She turned back to Will, "So you see,
Mr Farnaby, Pala's the place for stupid people.
The greatest happiness of the greatest number - and we stupid ones are
the greatest number. People like Dr
Robert and Vijaya and my darling Ranga - we recognize their superiority, we
know very well that their kind of intelligence is enormously important. But we also know that our kind of
intelligence is just as important. And
we don't envy them, because we're given just as much as they are. Sometimes even more."
"Sometimes," Vijaya agreed,
"even more. For the simple reason
that a talent for manipulating symbols tempts its possessors into habitual
symbol-manipulation, and habitual symbol-manipulation is an obstacle in the way
of concrete experiencing and the reception of gratuitous graces."
"So you see," said Mrs Rao,
"you don't have to feel too sorry for us." She looked at her watch. "Goodness, I shall be late for Dillip's
dinner if I don't hurry."
She started briskly towards the door.
"Time, time, time," Will
mocked. "Time even in this place of
timeless meditation. Time for dinner
breaking incorrigibly into eternity."
He laughed. Never take yes for an
answer. The nature of things is always
no.
Mrs Rao halted for a moment and looked
back at him.
"But sometimes," she said with
a smile, "it's eternity that miraculously breaks into time - even into
dinner time. Good-bye." She waved her hand and was gone.
"Which is better," Will
wondered aloud as he followed Vijaya through the dark temple, out into the
noonday glare, "which is better - to be born stupid into an intelligent
society or intelligent into an insane one?"
CHAPTER TWELVE
"Here
we are," said Vijaya, when they had reached the end of the short street
that led downhill from the market place.
He opened a wicket gate and ushered his guest into a tiny garden, at the
further end of which, on its low stilts, stood a small thatched house.
From behind the bungalow a yellow mongrel
dog rushed out and greeted them with a frenzy of ecstatic yelps and jumps and
tail-waggings. A moment later a large
green parrot, with white cheeks and a bill of polished jet, came swooping down
from nowhere and landed with a squawk and a noisy fluttering of wings on
Vijaya's shoulder.
"Parrots for you," said Will,
"mynahs for little Mary Sarojini.
You people seem to be on remarkably good terms with the local
fauna."
Vijaya nodded. "Pala is probably the only country in
which an animal theologian would have no reason for believing in devils. For animals everywhere else, Satan, quite obviously,
is homo sapiens."
They climbed the steps to the veranda and
walked through the open front door into the bungalow's main living-room. Seated on a low chair near the window, a
young woman in blue was nursing her baby son.
She lifted a heart-shaped face that narrowed down from a broad forehead
to a delicately pointed chin, and gave them a welcoming smile.
"I've brought Will Farnaby,"
said Vijaya as he bent down to kiss her.
Shanta held out her free hand to the
stranger.
"I hope Mr Farnaby doesn't object to
nature in the raw," she said. As
though to give point to her words, the baby withdrew his mouth from her brown
nipple, and belched. A white bubble of
milk appeared between his lips, swelled up, and burst. He belched again, then resumed his
sucking. "Even at eight months,"
she added, "Rama's table manners are still rather primitive."
"A fine specimen," said Will
politely. He was not much interested in
babies and had always been thankful for those repeated miscarriages which had
frustrated all Molly's hopes and longing for a child. "Who's he going to look like - you or
Vijaya?"
Shanta laughed and Vijaya joined in,
enormously, an octave lower.
"He certainly won't look like
Vijaya," she answered.
"Why not?"
"For the sufficient reason,"
said Vijaya, "that I'm not genetically responsible."
"In other words, the baby isn't
Vijaya's son."
Will looked from one laughing face to the
other, then shrugged his shoulders.
"I give up."
"Four years ago," Shanta
explained, "we produced a pair of twins who are the living image of
Vijaya. This time we thought it would be
fun to have a complete change. We
decided to enrich the family with an entirely new physique and temperament. Did you ever hear of Gobind Singh?"
"Vijaya has just been showing me his
painting in your meditation room."
"Well, that's the man we chose for
Rama's father."
"But I understood he was dead."
Shanta nodded. "But his soul goes marching along."
"What do you mean?"
"D.F. and A.I."
"D.F. and A.I?"
"Deep Freeze and Artificial
Insemination."
"Oh, I see."
"Actually," said Vijaya,
"we developed the techniques of A.I. about twenty years before you
did. But of course we couldn't do much
with it until we had electric power and reliable refrigerators. We got those in the late twenties. Since when we've been using A.I. in a big
way."
"So you see," Shanta chimed in,
"my baby might grow up to be a painter - that is, if that kind of talent
is inherited. And even if it isn't,
he'll be a lot more endomorphic and viscerotonic than his brothers or either of
his parents. Which is going to be very
interesting and educative for everybody concerned."
"Do many people go in for this kind
of thing?" Will asked.
"More and more. In fact I'd say that practically all the
couples who decide to have a third child now go in for A.I. So do quite a lot of those who mean to stop
at number two. Take my family, for
example. There's been some diabetes
among my father's people; so they thought it best - he and my mother - to have
both their children by A.I. My brother's
descended from three generations of dancers and, genetically, I'm the daughter
of Dr Robert's first cousin, Malcolm Chakravarti-MacPhail, who was the Old
Raja's private secretary."
"And the author," Vijaya added,
"of the best history of Pala. Chakravarti-MacPhail
was one of the ablest men of his generation."
Will looked at Shanta, then back again at
Vijaya.
"And has the ability been
inherited?" he asked.
"So much so," Vijaya answered,
"that I have the greatest difficulty in maintaining my position of
masculine superiority. Shanta has more
brains than I have; but fortunately she can't compete with my brawn."
"Brawn," Shanta repeated
sarcastically, "brawn ... I seem to remember a story about a young
lade called Delilah."
"Incidentally," Vijaya went on,
"Shanta has thirty-two half-brothers and twenty-nine half-sisters. And more than a third of them are
exceptionally bright."
"So you're improving the race."
"Very definitely. Give us another century, and our average I.Q.
will be up to a hundred and fifteen."
"Whereas ours, at the present
rate of progress, will be down to about eighty-five. Better medicine - more congenital
deficiencies preserved and passed on.
It'll make things a lot easier for future dictators." At the thought of this cosmic joke he laughed
aloud. Then, after a silence, "What
about the ethical and religious aspects of A.I?" he asked.
"In the early days," said
Vijaya, "there were a good many conscientious objectors. But now the advantages of A.I. have been so
clearly demonstrated, most married couples feel that it's more moral to take a
shot at having a child of superior quality than to run the risk of slavishly
reproducing whatever quirks and defects may happen to run in the husband's
family. Meanwhile the theologians have
got busy. A.I. has been justified in
terms of reincarnation and the theory of karma.
Pious fathers now feel happy at the thought that they're giving their
wife's children a chance of creating a better destiny for themselves and their
posterity."
"A better destiny?"
"Because they carry the germ plasm
of a better stock. And the stock is
better because it's the manifestation of a better karma. We have a central bank of superior stocks. Superior stocks of every variety of physique
and temperament. In your kind of
environment, most people's heredity never gets a fair chance. I ours, it does. And incidentally we have excellent
genealogical and anthropometric records going back as far as the
eighteen-seventies. So you see we're not
working entirely in the dark. For
example, we know that Gobind Singh's maternal grandmother was a gifted medium
and lived to ninety-six."
"So you see," said Shanta,
"we may even have a centenarian clairvoyant in the family." The baby belched again. She laughed.
"The oracle has spoken - as usual, very enigmatically." Turning to Vijaya, "If you want lunch to
be ready on time," she added, "you'd better go and do something about
it. Rama's going to keep me busy for at
least another ten minutes."
Vijaya rose, laid one hand on his wife's
shoulder and with the other gently rubbed the baby's brown back.
Shanta bent down and passed her cheek
across the top of the child's downy head.
"It's Father," she whispered.
"Good Father, good, good ..."
Vijaya administered a final pat, then
straightened himself up. "You were
wondering," he said to Will, "how it is that we get on so well with
the local fauna. I'll show you." He raised his hand. "Polly.
Polly." Cautiously, the big
bird stepped from his shoulder to the extended forefinger. "Polly's a good bird," he
chanted. "Polly's a very good
bird." He lowered his hand to the
point where a contact was made between the bird's body and the child's, then
moved it slowly, feathers against brown skin, back and forth, back and forth. "Polly's a good bird," he repeated,
"a good bird."
The parrot uttered a succession of low
chuckles, then leaned forward from its perch on Vijaya's finger and very gently
nibbled at the child's tiny ear.
"Such a good bird," Shanta
whispered, taking up the refrain.
"Such a good bird."
"Dr Andrew picked up the idea,"
said Vijaya, "while he was serving as a naturalist on the Melampus. From a tribe in northern New Guinea. Neolithic people; but like you Christians and
us Buddhists, they believed in love. And
unlike us and you, they'd invented some very practical ways of making their
belief come true. This technique was one
of their happiest discoveries. Stroke
the baby while you're feeding him; it doubles his pleasure. Then, while he's sucking and being caressed,
introduce him to the animal or person you want him to love. Rub his body against theirs; let there be a
warm physical contact between child and love-object. At the same time repeat some word like
'good'. First he'll understand only your
tone of voice. Later on, when he learns
to speak, he'll get the full meaning.
Food plus caress plus contact plus 'good' equals love. And love equals pleasure, love equals
satisfaction."
"Pure Pavlov."
"But Pavlov purely for a good
purpose. Pavlov for friendliness and
trust and compassion. Whereas you prefer
to use Pavlov for brain washing. Pavlov
for selling cigarettes and vodka and patriotism. Pavlov for the benefit of dictators,
generals, and tycoons."
Refusing any longer to be left out in the
cold, the yellow mongrel had joined the group and was impartially licking every
piece of sentient matter within reach - Shanta's arm, Vijaya's hand, the
parrot's feet, the baby's backside.
Shanta drew the dog closer and rubbed the child against its furry flank.
"And this is a good good dog,"
she said. "Dog Toby, good dog
Toby."
Will laughed. "Oughtn't I to get into the act?"
"I was going to suggest it,"
Shanta answered, "only I was afraid you'd think it was beneath your
dignity."
"You can take my place," said
Vijaya. "I must go and see about
our lunch."
Still carrying the parrot, he walked out
through the door that led into the kitchen.
Will pulled up his chair, and, leaning forward, began to stroke the
child's tiny body."
"This is another man," Shanta
whispered. "A good man, baby. A good man."
"How I wish it were true!" he
said with a rueful little laugh.
"Here and now it is
true." And bending down again over
the child, "He's a good man," she repeated. "A good, good man."
He looked at her blissfully, secretly
smiling face, he felt the smoothness and warmth of the child's tiny body
against his finger tips. Good, good,
good ... He too might have know this goodness - but only if his life had been
completely different from what in fact, in senseless and disgusting fact, it
was. So never take yes for an answer,
even when, as now, yes is self-evident.
He looked again with eyes deliberately attuned to another wavelength of value,
and saw the caricature of a Memling altarpiece.
"Madonna with Child, Dog, Pavlov, and Casual
Acquaintance." And suddenly he
could almost understand, from the inside, why Mr Bahu so hated these
people. Why he was so bent - in the
name, as usual and needless to say, of God - on their destruction.
"Good," Shanta was still murmuring
to her baby, "good, good, good."
Too good - that was their
crime. It simply wasn't
permissible. And yet how precious it
was! And how passionately he wished
that he might have had a part in it!
Pure sentimentality! he said to himself; and then aloud, "Good,
good, good," he echoed ironically.
"But what happens when the child grows a little bigger and
discovers that a lot of things and people are thoroughly bad, bad, bad?"
"Friendliness evokes
friendliness," she answered.
"From the friendly - yes. But not from the greedy, not from the
power-lovers, not from the frustrated and embittered. For them, friendliness is just weakness, just
an invitation to exploit, to bully, to take vengeance with impunity."
"But one has to run the risk, one
has to make a beginning. And luckily
no-one's immortal. The people who've
been conditioned to swindling and bullying and bitterness will all be dead in a
few years. Dead, and replaced by men and
women brought up in the new way. It
happened with us; it can happen with you."
"It can happen," he
agreed. "But in the context of
H-bombs and nationalism and fifty million more people every single year, it
almost certainly won't."
"You can't tell till you try."
"And we shan't try as long as the world
is in its present state. And, of course,
it will remain in its present state until we do try. Try and, what's more, succeed at least as
well as you've succeeded. Which brings
me back to my original question. What
happens when good, good, good discovers that, even in Pala, there's a lot of
bad, bad, bad? Don't the children get
some pretty unpleasant shocks?"
"We try to inoculate them against
those shocks."
"How? By making things unpleasant for them while
they're still young?"
"Not unpleasant. Let's say real. We teach them love and confidence, but we
expose them to reality, reality in all its aspects. And then give them responsibilities. They're made to understand that Pala isn't
Eden or the Land of Cockayne. It's a
nice place all right. But it will remain
nice only if everybody works and behaves decently. And meanwhile the facts of life are the facts
of life. Even here."
"What about such facts of life as
those bloodcurdling snakes I met half-way up the precipice? You can say 'good, good, good' as much as you
like; but snakes will still bite."
"You mean, they still can
bite. But will they in fact make use of
their ability?"
"Why shouldn't they?"
"Look over there," said
Shanta. He turned his head and saw that
what she was pointing at was a niche in the wall behind him. Within the niche was a stone Buddha, about
half life size, seated upon a curiously grooved cylindrical pedestal and
surmounted by a kind of lead-shaped canopy that tapered down behind him into a
broad pillar. "It's a small
replica," she went on, "of the Buddha in the station compound - you
know, the huge figure by the lotus pool."
"Which is a magnificent piece of
sculpture," he said. "And the
smile really gives one an inkling of what the Beatific Vision must be like. But what has it got to do with snakes?"
"Look again."
He looked. "I don't see anything specially
significant."
"Look harder."
The seconds passed. Then, with a shock of surprise, he noticed
something strange and even disquieting.
What he had taken for an oddly ornamented cylindrical pedestal had
suddenly revealed itself as a huge coiled snake. And that downward tapering canopy under which
the Buddha was sitting, was the expanded hood, with the flattened head at the
centre of its leading edge, of a giant cobra.
"My God!" he said. "I hadn't noticed. How unobservant can one be?"
"Is this the first time you've seen
the Buddha in this context?"
"The first time. Is there some legend?"
She nodded. "One of my favourites. You know about the Bodhi Tree, of
course?"
"Yes, I know about the Bodhi
Tree."
"Well, that wasn't the only tree
that Gotama sat under at the time of his Enlightenment. After the Bodhi Tree, he sat for seven days
under a banyan, called the Tree of the Goatherd. And after that he moved on to the Tree of
Muchalinda."
"Who was Muchalinda?"
"Muchalinda was the King of the
Snakes and, being a god, he knew what was happening. So when the Buddha sat down under his tree,
the Snake King crawled out of his hole, yards and yards of him, to pay Nature's
homage to Wisdom. Then a great storm
blew up from the West. The divine cobra
wrapped its coils round the more than divine man's body, spread its hood over
his head and, for the seven days his contemplation lasted, sheltered the
Tathagata from the wind and rain. So
there he sits to this day, with cobra beneath him, cobra above him, conscious
simultaneously of cobra and the Clear Light and their ultimate identity."
"How very different," said
Will, "from our view of snakes!"
"And your view of snakes is supposed
to be God's view - remember Genesis."
"'I will put enmity between thee and
the woman,'" he quoted, '"and between her seed and thy seed.'"
"But wisdom never puts enmity
anywhere. All those senseless, pointless
cockfights between Man and Nature, between Nature and God, between the Flesh
and the Spirit! Wisdom doesn't make
those insane separations."
"Nor does Science."
"Wisdom takes Science in its stride
and goes a stage further."
"And what about Totemism?" Will
went on. "What about the fertility
cults? They didn't make any
separations. Were they
Wisdom?"
"Of course they were - primitive
Wisdom, Wisdom on the neolithic level.
But after a time people begin to get self-conscious and the old Dark
Gods come to seem disreputable. So the
scene changes. Enter the Gods of Light,
enter the Prophets, enter Pythagoras and Zoroaster, enter the Jains and the
early Buddhists. Between them they usher
in the Age of the Cosmic Cockfight - Ormuzd verses Ahriman, Jehovah verses
Satan and the Baalim, Nirvana as opposed to Samsara, appearance over against
Plato's Ideal Reality. And except in the
minds of a few Tantrics and Mahayanists and Taoists and heretical Christians,
the cockfight went on for the best part of two thousand years."
"After which?" he questioned.
"After which you get the beginnings
of modern biology."
Will laughed. "'God said, Let Darwin be', and there
was Nietzsche, Imperialism and Adolf Hitler."
"All that," she agreed. "But also the possibility of a new kind
of Wisdom for everybody. Darwin took the
old Totemism and raised it to the level of biology. The fertility cults reappeared as genetics
and Havelock Ellis. And now it's up to
us to take another half turn up the spiral.
Darwinism was the old Neolithic Wisdom turned into scientific
concepts. The new conscious Wisdom - the
kind of Wisdom that was prophetically glimpsed in Zen and Taoism and Tantra -
is biological theory realized in living practice, is Darwinism raised to the
level of compassion and spiritual insight. So you see," she concluded,
"there isn't any earthly reason - much less any heavenly reason - why the
Buddha or anyone else for that matter, shouldn't contemplate the Clear Light as
manifested in a snake!"
"Even though the snake might kill
him?"
"Even though it might kill
him."
"And even though it's the oldest and
most universal of phallic symbols?"
Shanta laughed. "'Meditate under the tree of Muchalinda'
- that's the advice we give to every pair of lovers. And in the intervals between those loving
meditations remember what you were taught as children; snakes are your
brothers; snakes have a right to your compassion and your respect; snakes, in a
word, are good, good, good."
"Snakes are also poisonous,
poisonous, poisonous."
"But if you remember that they're
just as good as they're poisonous, and act accordingly, they won't use their
poison."
"Who says so?"
"It's an observable fact. People who aren't frightened of snakes,
people who don't approach them with the fixed belief that the only good snake
is a dead snake, hardly ever get bitten.
Next week I'm borrowing our neighbour's pet python. For a few days I'll be giving Rama his lunch
and dinner in the coils of the Old Serpent."
From outside the house came the sound of
high-pitched laughter, then a confusion of children's voices interrupting one
another in English and Palanese. A
moment later, looking very tall and maternal by comparison with her charges,
Mary Sarojini walked into the room flanked by a pair of identical
four-year-olds and followed by the sturdy cherub who had been with her when
Will first opened his eyes on Pala.
"We picked up Tara and Arjuna in the
kindergarten," Mary Sarojini explained as the twins hurled themselves upon
their mother.
With the baby in one arm and the other
around the two little boys, Shanta smiled her thanks. "That was very kind of you."
It was Tom Krishna who said "You're
welcome." He stepped forward
and, after a moment of hesitation,
"I was wondering ..." he began, then broke off and looked appealingly
at his sister. Mary Sarojini shook her
head.
"What were you wondering?"
Shanta inquired.
"Well, as a matter of fact, we were
both wondering ... I mean, could we come and have dinner with you?"
"Oh I see." Shanta looked from Tom Krishna's face to Mary
Sarojini's and back again. "Well,
you'd better go and ask Vijaya if there's enough to eat. He's doing the cooking today."
"Okay," said Tom Krishna
without enthusiasm. With slow reluctant
steps he crossed the room and went out through the door into the kitchen. Shanta turned to Mary Sarojini. "What happened?"
"Well, Mother's told him at least
fifty times that she doesn't like his bringing lizards into the house. But this morning he did it again. So she got very cross with him."
"And you decided you'd better come
and have dinner here."
"If it isn't convenient, Shanta, we
could try the Raos or the Rajajinnadasas,"
"I'm quite sure it will be
convenient," Shanta assured her.
"I only thought it would be good for Tom Krishna to have a little
talk with Vijaya."
"You're perfectly right," said
Mary Sarojini gravely. Then, very
business-like, Tara, Arjuna," she called.
"Come with me to the bathroom and we'll get washed up. They're pretty grubby," she said to
Shanta as she led them away.
Will waited until they were out of
earshot, then turned to Shanta. "I
take it that I've just been seeing a Mutual Adoption Club in action."
"Fortunately," said Shanta,
"in a very mild action. Tom Krishna
and Mary Sarojini get on remarkably well with their mother. There's no personal problem there - only the
problem of destiny, the enormous and terrible problem of Dugald's being
dead."
"Will Susila marry again?" he
asked.
"I hope so. For everybody's sake. Meanwhile, it's good for the children to spend
a certain amount of time with one or other of their deputy fathers. Specially good for Tom Krishna. Tom Krishna's just reaching the age when
little boys discover their maleness. He
still cries like a baby; but the next moment he's bragging and showing off and
bringing lizards into the house - just to prove he's two hundred per cent a
he-man. That's why I sent him to
Vijaya. Vijaya's everything Tom Krishna
likes to imagine he is. Three yards
high, two yards wide, terrifically strong, immensely competent. When he tells Tom Krishna how he ought to
behave, Tom Krishna listens - listens as he would never listen to me or his
mother saying the same things. And
Vijaya does say the same things as we would say. Because, on top of being two hundred per cent
male, he's almost fifty per cent sensitive-feminine. So, you see, Tom Krishna is really getting
the works. And now," she concluded,
looking down at the sleeping child in her arms, "I must put this young man
to bed and get ready for lunch."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Washed
and brushed, the twins were already in their high chairs. Mary Sarojini hung over them like a proud but
anxious mother. At the stove Vijaya was
ladling rice and vegetables out of an earthenware pot. Cautiously and with an expression on his face
of focused concentration, Tom Krishna carried each bowl, as it was filled, to
the table.
"There!" said Vijaya when the
last brimming bowl had been sent on its way.
He wiped his hands, walked over to the table and took a seat. "Better tell our guest about
grace," he said to Shanta.
Turning to Will, "In Pala," she
explained, "we don't say grace before meals. We say it with meals. Or rather wee don't say grace; we chew
it."
"Chew it?"
"Grace is the first mouthful of each
course - chewed and chewed until there's nothing left of it. And all the time you're chewing you pay
attention to the flavour of the food, to its consistency and temperature, to
the pressures on your teeth and the feel of the muscles in your jaws."
"And meanwhile, I suppose you give
thanks to the Enlightened One, or Shiva, or whoever it may be?"
Shanta shook her head emphatically. "That would distract your attention, and
attention is the whole point. Attention
to the experience of something given, something you haven't invented. Not the memory of a form of words addressed
to somebody in your imagination."
She looked round the table.
"Shall we begin?"
"Hurrah!" the twins shouted in
unison, and picked up their spoons.
For a long minute there was a silence,
broken only by the twins who had not yet learned to eat without smacking their
lips.
"May we swallow now?" asked one
of the little boys at last.
Shanta nodded. Everyone swallowed. There was a clinking of spoons and a burst of
talk from full mouths.
"Well," Shanta inquired,
"what did your grace taste like?"
"It tasted," said Will,
"like a long succession of different things. Or rather a succession of variations on the
fundamental theme of rice and turmeric and red peppers and zucchini and something
leafy that I don't recognize. It's
interesting how it doesn't remain the same.
I'd never really noticed that before."
"And while you were paying attention
to these things, you were momentarily delivered from daydreams, from memories,
from anticipations, from silly notions - from all the symptoms of you."
"Isn't tasting me?"
Shanta looked down the length of the
table to her husband. "What would you say Vijaya?"
"I'd say it was half-way between me
and not-me. Tasting is not-me doing something
for the whole organism. And at the same
time tasting is me being conscious of what's happening. And that's the point of our chewing-grace -
to make the me more conscious of what the not-me is up to."
"Very nice," was Will's
comment. "But what's the point of
the point?"
It was Shanta who answered. "The point of the point," she said,
"is that when you've learned to pay closer attention to more of the
not-you in the environment (that's the food) and more of the not-you in your
own organism (that's your taste sensations), you may suddenly find yourself
paying attention to the not-you on the further side of consciousness, or
perhaps it would be better," Shanta went on, "to put it the other way
round. The not-you on the further side
of consciousness will find it easier to make itself known to a you that has
learned to be more aware of its not-you on the side of physiology." She was interrupted by a crash, followed by a
howl from one of the twins. "After
which," she continued as she wiped up the mess on the floor, "one has
to consider the problem of me and not-me in relation to people less than
forty-two inches high. A prize of
sixty-four thousand crores of rupees will be given to anyone who comes up with
a fool-proof solution." She wiped
the child's eyes, had him blow his nose,
then gave him a kiss and went to the stove for another bowl of rice.
"What are your chores for this
afternoon?" Vijaya asked when lunch was over.
"We're on scarecrow duty," Tom
Krishna answered importantly.
"In the field just below the school
house," Mary Sarojini added.
"Then I'll take you there in the
car," said Vijaya. Turning to Will
Farnaby, "Would you like to come along?" he added.
Will nodded. "And if it's permissible," he said,
"I'd like to see the school while I'm about it - sit in, maybe, at some of
the classes."
Shanta waved good-bye to them from the
veranda and a few minutes later they came in sight of the parked jeep.
"The school's on the other side of
the village," explained Vijaya as he started the motor. "We have to take the bypass. It goes down and then up again."
Down through terraced fields of rice and
maize and sweet potatoes, then on the level, along a contour line, with a muddy
little fish pond on the left and an orchard of breadfruit trees on the right,
and finally up again through more fields, some green, some golden - and there
was the school house, white and spacious under its towering shade trees.
"And down there," said Mary
Sarojini, "are our scarecrows."
Will looked in the direction she was
pointing. In the nearest of the terraced
fields below them the yellow rice was almost ready for harvest. Two small boys in pink loin cloths and a
little girl in a blue skirt were taking turns at pulling the strings that set
in motion two life-sized marionettes attached to poles at either end of the
narrow field. The puppets were of wood,
beautifully carved and clothed, not in rags, but in the most splendid
draperies. Will looked at them in
astonishment.
"Solomon in all his glory," he
exclaimed, "was not arrayed like one of these."
But then Solomon, he went on to reflect,
was only a king; these gorgeous scarecrows were beings of a higher order. One was a Future Buddha, the other a
delightfully gay, East Indian version of God the Father as one sees him in the
Sistine Chapel, swooping down over the newly created Adam. With each tug of the string the Future Buddha
wagged his hand, uncrossed his legs from the lotus posture, danced a brief
fandango in the air, then crossed them again and sat motionless for a moment
until another jerk of the string once more disturbed his meditations. God the Father, meanwhile, waved his
outstretched arm, wagged his forefinger in portentous warning, opened and shut
his horsehair-fringed mouth and rolled a pair of eyes which, being made of
glass, flashed comminatory fire at any bird that dared to approach the
rice. And all the time a brisk wind was
fluttering his draperies, which were bright yellow, with a bold design - in
brown, white and black - of tigers and monkeys, while the Future Buddha's
magnificent robes of red and orange rayon bellied and flapped around him with
an Aeolian jingling of dozens of little silver bells.
"Are all your scarecrows like
this?" Will asked.
"It was the Old Raja's idea,"
Vijaya answered. "He wanted to make
the children understand that all gods are home-made, and that it's we who pull
their strings and so give them the power to pull ours."
"Make them dance," said Tom
Krishna, "make them wiggle."
He laughed delightedly.
Vijaya stretched out an enormous hand and
patted the child's dark curly head.
"That's the spirit!"
And turning back to Will "Quote 'gods' unquote,"
he said in what was evidently an imitation of the Old Raja's manner -
"their one great merit (apart from scaring birds and quote 'sinners'
unquote, and occasionally, perhaps, consoling the miserable) consists in
this: being raised aloft on poles, they have to be looked up at; and when
anyone looks up, even at a god, he can hardly fail to see the sky beyond. And what's the sky? Air and scattered light; but also a symbol of
that boundless and (excuse the metaphor) pregnant emptiness out of which
everything, the living and the inanimate, the puppet-makers and their divine
marionettes, emerge into the universe we know - or rather that we think we
know."
Mary Sarojini, who had been listening
intently, nodded her head. "Father
used to say," she volunteered, "that looking up at birds in the sky
was even better. Birds aren't words, he
used to say. Birds are real. Just as real as the sky." Vijaya brought the car to a standstill. "Have a good time," he said as the
children jumped out. "Make them
dance and wiggle."
Shouting, Tom Krishna and Mary Sarojini
ran down to join the little group in the field below the road.
"And now for the more solemn aspects
of education." Vijaya turned the
jeep into the driveway that led up to the school house. "I'll leave the car here and walk back
to the Station. When you've had enough,
get someone to drive you home." He
turned off the ignition and handed Will the key.
In the school office, Mrs Narayan, the
Principal, was talking across her desk to a white-haired man with a long,
rather doleful face like the face of a lined and wrinkled bloodhound.
"Mr Chandra Menon," Vijaya
explained when the introductions had been made, "is our Under-Secretary of
Education."
"Who is paying us," said the
Principal, "one of his periodical visit of inspection."
"And who thoroughly approves of what
he sees," the Under-Secretary added with a courteous bow in Mrs Narayan's
direction.
Vijaya excused himself. "I have to get back to my work," he
said and moved towards the door.
"Are you specially interested in
education?" Mr Menon inquired.
"Specially ignorant would be more
like it," Will answered. "I was
merely brought up, never educated.
That's why I'd like to have a look at the genuine article."
"Well, you've come to the right
place," the Under-Secretary assured him.
"New Rothamsted is one of our best schools."
"What's your criterion of a good school?"
Will asked.
"Success."
"In what? Winning scholarships? Getting ready for jobs? Obeying the local categorical
imperatives?"
"All that, of course," said Mr
Menon. "But the fundamental
question remains. What are boys and
girls for?"
Will shrugged his shoulders. "The answer depends on where you happen
to be domiciled. For example, what are
boys and girls for in America? Answer:
for mass consumption. And the
corollaries of mass consumption are mass communications, mass advertising, mass
opiates in the form of television, meprobamate, positive thinking and
cigarettes. And now that Europe has made
the break-through into mass production, what will its boys and girls be
for? For mass consumption and all the
rest - just like the boys and girls in America.
Whereas in Russia there's a different answer. Boys and girls are for strengthening the
national state. Hence all those engineers
and science teachers, not to mention fifty divisions ready for instant combat
and equipped with everything from tanks to H-bombs and long-range rockets. And in China it's the same, but a good deal
more so. What are boys and girls for
there? For cannon fodder, industry
fodder, agriculture fodder, road-building fodder. So East is East and West is West - for the
moment. But the twain may meet in one of
two ways. West may get so frightened of
East that it will give up thinking that boys and girls are for mass consumption
and decide instead that they're for cannon fodder and strengthening the
state. Alternatively East may find
itself under such pressure from the appliance-hungry masses who long to go
Western, that it will have to change its mind and say that boys and girls are
really for mass consumption. But that's
for the future. As of now, the current
answers to your question are mutually exclusive."
"And both of the answers," said
Mr Menon, "are different from ours.
What are Palanese boys and girls for?
Neither for mass consumption, nor for strengthening the state. The state has to exist, of course. And there has to be enough for
everybody. That goes without
saying. It's only on those conditions
that boys and girls can discover what in fact they are for - only on those
conditions that we can do anything about it."
"And what in fact are they
for?"
"For actualization, for being turned
into full-blown human beings."
Will nodded. "Notes on What's What," he
commented. "Become what you really
are."
"The Old Raja," said Mr Menon,
"was mainly concerned with what people really are on the level that's
beyond individuality. And of course
we're just as much interested in that as he was. But our first business is elementary
education, and elementary education has to deal with individuals in all their
diversity of shape, temperament, gifts and deficiencies. Individuals in their transcendent unity are
the affair of higher education. That
begins in adolescence and is given concurrently with advanced elementary
education."
"Begins, I take it," said Will,
"with the first experience of the moksha-medicine."
"So you've heard about the moksha-medicine?"
"I've even seen it in action."
"Dr Robert," the Principal
explained, "took him yesterday to see an initiation."
"By which," added Will, "I
was profoundly impressed. When I think
of my religious training ...” He left the sentence eloquently
unfinished.
"Well, as I was saying," Mr
Menon continued, "adolescents get both kinds of education
concurrently. They're helped to
experience their transcendental unity with all other sentient beings and at the
same time they're learning, in their psychology and physiology classes, that
each one of us has his own constitutional uniqueness, everybody's different
from everybody else."
"When I was at school," said
Will, "the pedagogues did their best to iron out those differences, or at
least to plaster them over with the same Late Victorian ideal - the ideal of
the scholarly but Anglican football-playing gentleman. But now tell me what you do about the
fact that everybody's different from everybody else."
"We begin," said Mr Menon, "by
assessing the differences. Precisely who
or what, anatomically, biochemically and psychologically, is this child? In the organic hierarchy, which takes
precedence - his gut, his muscles, or his nervous system? How near does he stand to the three polar
extremes? How harmonious or his
disharmonious is the mixture of his component elements, physical and
mental? How great is his inborn wish to
dominate, or to be sociable, or to retreat into his inner world? And how does he do his thinking and perceiving
and remembering? Is he a visualizer or a
non-visualizer? Does his mind work with
images or with words, with both at once, or with neither? How close to the surface is his story-telling
faculty? Does he see the world as
Wordsworth and Traherne saw it when they were children? And, if so, what can be done to prevent the
glory and the freshness from fading into the light of common day? Or, in more general terms, how can we educate
children on the conceptual level without killing their capacity for intense
non-verbal experience? How can we
reconcile analysis with vision? And
there are dozens of other questions that must be asked and answered. For example, does this child absorb all the
vitamins in his food, or is he subject to some chronic deficiency that, if it
isn't recognized and treated, will lower his vitality, darken his mood, make
him see ugliness, feel boredom and think foolishness or malice? And what about his blood sugar? What about his breathing? What about his posture and the way he uses
his organism when he's working, playing, studying? And there are all the questions that have to
do with special gifts. Does he show
signs of having a talent for music, for mathematics, for handling words, for
observing accurately and for thinking logically and imaginatively about what he
has observed? And finally how
suggestible is he going to be when he grows up?
All children are good hypnotic subjects - so good that four out of five
of them can never be talked into somnambulism.
Out of any hundred children, which are the twenty who will grow up to be
suggestible to the pitch of somnambulism?"
"Can you spot them in advance?"
Will asked. "And if so, what's the
point of spotting them?"
"We can spot them," Mr
Menon answered. "And it's very
important that they should be spotted.
Particularly important in your part of the world. Politically speaking, the twenty per cent
that can be hypnotized easily and to the limit is the most dangerous element in
your societies."
"Dangerous?"
"Because these people are the
propagandist's predestined victims. In
an old-fashioned, pre-scientific democracy, any spellbinder with a good
organization behind him can turn that twenty per cent of potential
somnambulists into an army of regimented fanatics dedicated to the greater
glory and power of their hypnotist. And
under a dictatorship these same potential somnambulists can be talked into
implicit faith and mobilized as the hard core of the omnipotent party. So you can see it's very important for any
society that values liberty to be able to spot the future somnambulists when
they're young. Once they've been
spotted, they can be hypnotized and systematically trained not to be
hypnotized by the enemies of liberty.
And at the same time, of course, you'd be well advised to reorganize
your social arrangements so as to make it difficult or impossible for the
enemies of liberty to arise or have any influence."
"Which is the state of things, I
gather, in Pala?"
"Precisely," said Mr
Menon. "And that's why our potential
somnambulists don't constitute a danger."
"Then why do you go to the trouble
of spotting them in advance?"
"Because, if it's properly used,
their gift is so valuable."
"For destiny control?" Will
questioned, remembering those therapeutic swans and all the things Susila had
said about pressing one's own buttons."
The Under-Secretary shook his head. "Destiny Control doesn't call for
anything more than a light trance.
Practically everybody's capable of that.
The potential somnambulists are the twenty per cent who can go into very
deep trance. And it's in very deep
trance - and only in very deep trance - that a person can be taught how to
distort time."
"Can you distort time?"
Will inquired.
Mr Menon shook his head. "Unfortunately I could never go deep
enough. Everything I know had to be
learned the long, slow way. Mrs Narayan
was more fortunate. Being one of the
privileged twenty per cent, she could take all kinds of educational short cuts
that were completely closed to the rest of us."
"What sort of short cuts?" Will
asked, turning to the Principal.
"Short cuts to memorizing," she
answered, "short cuts to calculating and thinking and
problem-solving. One starts by learning
how to experience twenty seconds as ten minutes, a minute as half an hour. In deep trance it's really very easy. You listen to the teacher's suggestions and
you sit there quietly for a long, long time.
Two full hours - you'd be ready to take your oath on it. When you've been brought back, you look at
your watch. Your experience of two hours
was telescoped in to exactly four minutes of clock time."
"How?"
"Nobody knows how," said Mr
Menon. "But all those anecdotes
about drowning men seeing the whole of their life unfolding before them in a
few seconds are substantially true. The
mind and the nervous system - or rather some minds and some nervous systems -
happen to be capable of this curious feat; that's all that anybody knows. We discovered the fact about sixty years ago,
and ever since we've been exploiting it.
Exploiting it, among other things, for educational purposes."
"For example," Mrs Narayan
resumed, "here's a mathematical problem.
In your normal state it would take you the best part of an hour to
solve. But now you distort time to the
point where one minute is subjectively the equivalent of thirty minutes. Then you set to work on your problem. Thirty subjective minutes later it's
solved. But thirty subjective minutes
are one clock minute. Without the least
sense or rush or strain you've been working as fast as one of those
extraordinary calculating boys, who turn up from time to time. Future geniuses like Ampère and Gauss, or
future idiots like Dase - but all of them, by some built-in trick of time
distortion, capable of getting through an hour's hard work in a couple of
minutes - sometimes in a matter of seconds.
I'm only an average student; but I could go into deep trance, which
meant that I could be taught how to telescope my time into a thirtieth of its
normal span. Result: I was able to cover
far more intellectual ground than I could possibly have covered if I'd had to
do all my learning in the ordinary way.
You can imagine what happens when somebody with a genius I.Q. is also
capable of time distortion. The results
are fantastic!"
"Unfortunately," said Mr Menon,
"they're not very common. In the
last two generations we've had precisely two time-distorters of real genius,
and only five or six runners-up. But
what Pala owes to those few is incalculable.
So it's no wonder that we keep a sharp look-out for potential
somnambulists."
"Well, you certainly ask plenty of
searching questions about your little pupils," Will concluded after a
brief silence. "What do you do when
you've found the answers?"
"We start educating
accordingly," said Mr Menon.
"For example, we ask questions about every child's physique and
temperament. When we have the answers,
we sort out all the shyest, tensest, most over-responsive and introverted
children, and assemble them in a single group.
Then, little by little, the group is enlarged. First a few children with tendencies towards
indiscriminate sociability are introduced.
Then one or two little muscle-men and muscle-women - children with
tendencies towards aggressiveness and love of power. It's the best method, we've found, for
getting little boys and girls at the three polar extremes to understand and
tolerate one another. After a few months
of carefully controlled mixing, they're ready to admit that people with a different
kind of hereditary make-up have just as good a right to exist as they
have."
"And the principle," said Mrs
Narayan, "is explicitly taught as well as progressively applied. In the lower forms we do the teaching in
terms of analogies with familiar animals.
Cats like to be by themselves. Sheep
like being together. Martens are fierce
and can't be tamed. Guinea-pigs are
gentle and friendly. Are you a cat
person or a sheep person, a guinea-pig person or a marten person? Talk about it in animal parables, and even
very small children can understand the fact of human diversity and the need for
mutual forbearance, mutual forgiveness."
"And later on," said Mr Menon,
"when they come to read the Gita, we tell them about the link
between constitution and religion.
Sheep-people and guinea-pig-people love ritual and public ceremonies and
revivalistic emotion; their temperamental preferences can be directed into the
Way of Devotion. Cat-people like to be
alone, and their private broodings can become the Way of Self-Knowledge. Marten-people want to do things, and
the problem is how to transform their driving aggressiveness into the Way of
Disinterested Action."
"And the way to the Way of
Disinterested Action is what I was looking at yesterday," said Will. "The way that leads through
wood-chopping and rock-climbing - is that it?"
"Wood-chopping and
rock-climbing," said Mr Menon, "are special cases. Let's generalize and say that the way to all
the Ways leads through the re-direction of power."
"What's that?"
"The principle is very simple. You take the power generated by fear or envy
or too much noradrenalin, or else by some built-in urge that happens, at the
moment, to be out of place - you take it and, instead of using it to do
something unpleasant to someone else, instead of repressing it and so doing
something unpleasant to yourself, you consciously direct it along a channel
where it can do something useful, or, if not useful, at least harmless."
"Here's a simple case," said
the Principal. "An angry or
frustrated child has worked up enough power for a burst of crying, or bad
language, or a fight. If the power
generated is sufficient for any of those things, it's sufficient for running,
or dancing, more than sufficient for five deep breaths. I'll show you some dancing later on. For the moment, let's confine ourselves to
breathing. Any irritated person who
takes five deep breaths releases a lot of tension and so makes it easier for
himself to behave rationally. So we
teach our children all kinds of breathing games, to be played whenever they're
angry or upset. Some of the games are
competitive. Which of two antagonists
can inhale most deeply and say 'OM' on the outgoing breath for the longest
time? It's a duel that ends, almost
without fail, in reconciliation. But of
course there are many occasions when competitive breathing is out of
place. So here's a little game that an
exasperated child can play on his own, a game that's based on the local
folklore. Every Palanese child has been
brought up on Buddhist legends, and in most of these pious fairy stories
somebody has a vision of a celestial being.
A Bodhisattva, say, in an explosion of lights, jewels and rainbows. And along with the glorious vision there's
always an equally glorious olfaction; the fireworks are accompanied by an
unutterably delicious perfume. Well, we
take these traditional phantasies - which are all based, needless to say, on
actual visionary experiences of the kind induced by fasting, sensory
deprivation or mushrooms - and we set them to work. Violent feelings, we tell the children, are
like earthquakes. They shake us so hard
that cracks appear in the wall that separates our private selves from the
shared, universal Buddha Nature. You get
cross, something inside of you cracks and, through the crack, out comes a whiff
of the heavenly smell of enlightenment.
Like champak, like ylang-ylang, like gardenias - only infinitely more
wonderful. So don't miss this
heavenliness that you've accidentally released.
It's there every time you get cross.
Inhale it, breathe it in, fill your lungs with it. Again and again."
"And they actually do it?"
"After a few weeks of teaching, most
of them do it as a matter of course.
And, what's more, a lot of them really smell that perfume. The old repressive 'Thou shalt not' has been
translated into a new expressive and rewarding 'Thou shalt'. Potentially harmful power has been redirected
into channels where it's not merely harmless, but may actually do some
good. And meanwhile, of course, we've
been giving the children systematic and carefully graduated training in
perception and the proper use of language.
They're taught to pay attention to what they see and hear, and at the
same time they're asked to notice how their feelings and desires affect what
they experience of the outer world, and how their language habits affect not
only their feelings and desires but even their sensations. What my ears and my eyes record is one thing;
what the words I use and the mood I'm in and the purposes I'm pursuing allow me
to perceive, make sense of and act upon is something quite different. So you see it's all brought together into a
single educational process. What we give
the children is simultaneously a training in perceiving and imagining, a
training in applied physiology and psychology, a training in practical ethics
and practical religion, a training in the proper use of language, and a
training in self-knowledge. In a word, a
training of the whole mind-body in all its aspects."
"What's the relevance," Will
asked, "of all this elaborate training of the mind-body to formal
education? Does it help a child to do
sums, or write grammatically, or understand elementary physics?"
"It helps a lot," said Mr
Menon. "A trained mind-body learns
more quickly and more thoroughly than an untrained one. It's also more capable of relating facts to
ideas and both of them to its ongoing life." Suddenly and surprisingly - for that long
melancholy face gave one the impression of being incompatible with any
expression of mirth more emphatic than a rather weary smile - he broke into a
loud long peal of laughter.
"What's the joke?"
"I was thinking of two people I met
last time I was in England. At
Cambridge. One of them was an atomic
physicist, the other was a philosopher.
Both extremely eminent. But one had
a mental age, outside the laboratory, of about eleven and the other was a
compulsive eater with a weight problem that he refused to face. Two extreme examples of what happens when you
take a clever boy, give him fifteen years of the most intensive formal
education and totally neglect to do anything for the mind-body which has to do
the learning and the living."
"And your system, I take it, doesn't
produce that kind of academic monster?"
The Under-Secretary shook his head. "Until I went to Europe, I'd never seen
anything of the kind. They're
grotesquely funny," he added.
"But, goodness, how pathetic!
And, poor things, how curiously repulsive!"
"Being pathetically and curiously
repulsive - that's the price we pay for specialization."
"For specialization," Mr Menon
agreed, "but not in the sense you people ordinarily use the word. Specialization in that sense is necessary and
inevitable. No specialization, no civilization. And if one educates the whole mind-body along
with the symbol-using intellect, that kind of necessary specialization won't do
much harm. But you people don't educate
the mind-body. Your cure for too much
scientific specialization is a few more courses in the humanities. Excellent!
Every education ought to include courses in the humanities. But don't let's be fooled by the name. By themselves, the humanities don't
humanize. They're simply another form of
specialization on the symbolic level.
Reading Plato or listening to a lecture on T.S. Eliot doesn't educate
the whole human being; like courses in physics or chemistry, it merely educates
the symbol-manipulator and leaves the rest of the living mind-body in its
pristine state of ignorance and ineptitude.
Hence all those pathetic and repulsive creatures that so astonished me
on my first trip abroad."
"What about formal education?"
Will now asked. "What about
indispensable information and the necessary intellectual skills? Do you teach the way we do?"
"We teach the way you're probably
going to teach in another ten or fifteen years.
Take mathematics, for example.
Historically mathematics began with the elaboration of useful tricks,
soared up into metaphysics and finally explained itself in terms of structure
and logical transformations. In our
schools we reverse the historical process.
We begin with structure and logic; then, skipping the metaphysics, we go
on from general principles to particular applications."
"And the children understand?"
"Far better than they understand
when one starts with utilitarian tricks.
From about five onwards practically any intelligent child can learn
practically anything, provided always that you present it to him in the right
way. Logic and structure in the form of
games and puzzles. The children play
and, incredibly quickly, they catch the point.
After which you can go on to practical applications. Taught in this way, most children can learn
at least three times as much, four times as thoroughly, in half the time. Or consider another field where one can use
games to implant an understanding of basic principles. All scientific thinking is in terms of
probability. The old eternal verities
are merely a high degree of likeliness; the immutable laws of nature are just
statistical averages. How does one get
these profoundly un-obvious notions into children's heads? By playing roulette with them, by spinning
coins and drawing lots. By teaching them
all kinds of games with cards and boards and dice."
"Evolutionary Snakes and Ladders -
that's the most popular game with the little ones," said Mrs Narayan. "Another great favourite is Mendelian
Happy Families."
"And a little later," Mr Menon
added, "we introduce them to a rather complicated game played by four
people with a pack of sixty specially designed cards divide into three
suits. Psychological bridge, we call
it. Chance deals you your hand, but the
way you play it is a matter of skill, bluff, and co-operation with your
partner."
"Psychology, Mendelism, Evolution -
your education seems to be heavily biological," said Will.
"It is," Mr Menon
agreed. "Our primary emphasis isn't
on physics and chemistry; it's on the sciences of life."
"Is that a matter of
principle?"
"Not entirely. It's also a matter of convenience and
economic necessity. We don't have the
money for large-scale research in physics and chemistry, and we don't really
have any practical need for that kind of research - no heavy industries to be
made more competitive, no armaments to be made more diabolical, not the
faintest desire to land on the backside of the moon. Only the modest ambition to live as fully
human beings in harmony with the rest of life on this island at this latitude
on this planet. We can take the results
of your researches in physics and chemistry and apply them, if we want to or
can afford it, to our own purposes.
Meanwhile we'll concentrate on the research which promises to do us the
greatest good - in the sciences of life and mind. If the politicians in the newly independent
countries had any sense," he added, "they'd do the same. But they want to throw their weight around;
they want to have armies, they want to catch up with the motorized
television-addicts of America and Europe.
You people have no choice," he went on. "You're irretrievably committed to
applied physics and chemistry, with all their dismal consequences, military,
political, and social. But the
undeveloped countries aren't committed.
They don't have to follow your example. They're still free to take the road we've
taken - the road of applied biology, the road of fertility control and the
limited production and selective industrialization which fertility control make
possible, the road that leads towards happiness from the inside out, through
health, through awareness, through a change in one's attitude towards the
world; not towards the mirage of happiness from the outside in, through toys
and pills and non-stop distractions.
They could still choose our way; but they don't want to, they want to be
exactly like you, God help them. And as
they can't possibly do what you've done
- at any rate within the time they've set themselves - they're
foredoomed to frustration and disappointment, predestined to the misery of
social breakdown and anarchy, and then to the misery of enslavement by tyrants. It's a completely foreseeable tragedy, and
they're walking into it with their eyes open."
"And we can't do anything about
it," the Principal added.
"Can't do anything," said Mr
Menon, "except go on doing what we're doing now and hoping against hope
that the example of a nation that has found a way of being happily human may be
imitated. There's very little chance of
it; but it just might happen."
"Unless Greater Rendang happens
first."
"Unless Greater Rendang happens
first," Mr Menon gravely agreed.
"Meanwhile we have to get on with our job, which is education. Is there anything more that you'd like to
hear about, Mr Farnaby?"
"Lot's more," said Will. "For example, how early do you start
your science teaching."
"We start it at the same time as we
start multiplication and division. First
lessons in ecology."
"Ecology? Isn't that a bit complicated?"
"That's precisely the reason why we
begin with it. Never give children a
chance of imagining that anything exists in isolation. Make it plain from the very first that all living
is relationship. Show them relationships
in the woods, in the fields, in the ponds and streams, in the village and the
country around it. Rub it in."
"And let me add," said the
Principal, "that we always teach the science of relationship in
conjunction with the ethics of relationship.
Balance, give and take, no excesses - it's the rule in nature and,
translated out of fact into morality, it ought to be the rule among
people. As I said before, children find
it very easy to understand an idea when it's presented to them in a parable
about animals. We give them an
up-to-date version of Aesop's Fables.
Not the old anthropomorphic fictions, but true ecological fables with
built-in, cosmic morals. And another
wonderful parable for children is the story of erosion. We don't have any good examples of erosion
here; so we show them photographs of what has happened in Rendang, in India and
China, in Greece and the Levant, in Africa and America - all the places where
greedy, stupid people have tried to take without giving, to exploit without
love or understanding. Treat Nature
well, and Nature will treat you well.
Hurt or destroy Nature, and Nature will soon destroy you. In a Dust Bowl, 'Do as you would be done by'
is self-evident - much easier for a child to recognize and understand than in
an eroded family or village.
Psychological wounds don't show - and anyhow children know so little
about their elders. And, having no
standards of comparison, they tend to take even the worst situation for
granted, as though it were part of the nature of things. Whereas the difference between ten acres of
meadow and ten acres of gullies and blowing sand is obvious. Sand and gullies are parables. Confronted by them, it's easy for the child
to see the need for conservation and then to go on from conservation to
morality - easy for him to go from the Golden Rule in relation to plants and
animals and the earth that supports them to the Golden Rule in relation to
human beings. And here's another
important point. The morality to which a
child goes on from the facts of ecology and the parables of erosion is a
universal ethic. There are no Chosen
People in nature, no Holy Lands, no Unique Historical Revelations. Conservation-morality gives nobody an excuse
for feeling superior, or claiming special privileges. 'Do as you would be done by' applies to our
dealings with all kinds of life in every part of the world. We shall be permitted to live on this planet
only for as long as we treat all nature with compassion and intelligence. Elementary ecology leads straight to
elementary Buddhism."
"A few weeks ago," said Will
after a moment of silence, "I was looking at Thorwald's book about what
happened in Eastern Germany between January and May of 1945. Have either of you read it?"
They shook their heads.
"Then don't," Will
advised. "I was in Dresden five
months after the February bombing. Fifty
or sixty thousand civilians - mostly refugees running away from the Russians -
burned alive in a single night. And all
because little Adolf had never learned ecology," he smiled his flayed
ferocious smile, "never been taught the first principles of
conservation." One made a joke of
it because it was too horrible to be talked about seriously.
Mr Menon rose and picked up his
briefcase.
"I must be going." He shook hands with Will. It had been a pleasure, and he hoped that Mr
Farnaby would enjoy his stay in Pala.
Meanwhile, if he wanted to know more about Palanese education, he had
only to ask Mrs Narayan. Nobody was
better qualified to act as a guide and instructor.
"Would you like to visit some of the
classrooms?" Mrs Narayan asked, when the Under-Secretary had left.
Will rose and followed her out of the
room and along a corridor.
"Mathematics," said the
Principal as she opened a door.
"And this is the Upper Fifth.
Under Mrs Anand."
Will bowed as he was introduced. The white-haired teacher gave a welcoming
smile and whispered, "We're deep, as you see, in a problem."
He looked about him. At their desks a score of boys and girls were
frowning, in a concentrated, pencil-biting silence, over their notebooks. The bent heads were sleek and dark. Above the white or khaki shorts, above the
long gaily coloured skirts, the golden bodies glistened in the heat. Boys' bodies that showed the cage of the ribs
beneath the skin, girls' bodies, fuller, smoother, with the swell of small
breasts, firm, high-set, elegant as the inventions of a rococo sculptor of
nymphs. And everyone took them
completely for granted. What a comfort,
Will reflected, to be in a place where the Fall was an exploded doctrine!
Meanwhile Mrs Anand was explaining - sotto
voce so as not to distract the problem-solvers from their task - that she
always divided her classes into two groups.
The group of the visualizers, who thought in geometrical terms, like the
ancient Greeks, and the group of the non-visualizers who preferred algebra and
imageless abstractions. Somewhat
reluctantly Will withdrew his attention from the beautiful unfallen world of
young bodies and resigned himself to taking an intelligent interest in human
diversity and the teaching of mathematics.
They took their leave at last. Next door, in a pale blue classroom decorated
with paintings of tropical animals, Bodhisattvas and their bosomy Shaktis, the
Lower Fifth were having their bi-weekly lesson in Elementary Applied
Philosophy. Breasts here were smaller,
arms thinner and less muscular. These
were only a year away from childhood.
"Symbols are public," the young
man at the blackboard was saying as Will and Mrs Narayan entered the room. He drew a row of little circles, numbered
them, 1, 2, 3, 4, n. "There
are people," he explained. Then
from each of the little circles he drew a line that connected it with a square
at the left of the board. He wrote in
the centre of the square. "S is the
system of symbols that the people use when they want to talk to one
another. They all speak the same
language - English, Palanese, Eskimo, it depends where they happen to
live. Words are public; they belong to
all the speakers of a given language: they're listed in dictionaries. And now let's look at the things that happen
out there." He pointed through the
open window. Gaudy against a white
cloud, half a dozen parrots came sailing into view, passed behind a tree and
were gone. The teacher drew a second
square at the opposite end of the board, labelled it E for 'events' and
connected it by lines to the circles.
"What happens out there is public - or at least fairly
public," he qualified. "And
what happens when somebody speaks or writes words - that's also public. But the things that go on inside these little
circles are private. Private." He laid a hand on his chest. "Private." He rubbed his forehead. "Private." He touched his eyelids and the tip of his nose
with a brown forefinger. "Now let's
make a simple experiment. Say the word
'pinch'."
"Pinch," said the class in
ragged unison. "Pinch ..."
"P-I-N-C-H - pinch. That's public, that's something you can look
up in the dictionary. But now pinch
yourselves. Hard! Harder!"
To an accompaniment of giggles, of aies
and ows, the children did as they were told.
"Can anybody feel what the person
sitting next to him is feeling?"
There was a chorus of No's.
"So it looks," said the young
man, "as though there were - let's see, how many are we?" He ran his eyes over the desks before
him. "It looks as though there were
twenty-three distinct and separate pains.
Twenty-three in this one room.
Nearly three thousand million of them in the whole world. Plus the pains of all the animals. And each of these pains is strictly
private. There's no way of passing the
experience from one centre of pain to another centre of pain. No communication except indirectly through
S." He pointed to the square at the
left of the board, then to the circles at the centre. "Private pains here in 1, 2, 3, 4, and n. News about private pains out here at S, where
you can say 'pinch', which is a public word listed in a dictionary. And notice this: there's only one public
word, 'pain', for three thousand million private experiences, each of which is
probably about as different from all the others as my nose is different from
your noses and your noses are different from one another. A word only stands for the ways in which
things or happenings of the same general kind are like one another. That's why the word is public. And, being public, it can't possibly stand
for the ways in which happenings of the same general kind are unlike one
another."
There was a silence. Then the teacher looked up and asked a
question.
"Does anyone here know about
Mahakasyapa?"
Several hands were raised. He pointed his finger at a little girl in a
blue skirt and a necklace of shells sitting in the front row.
"You tell us, Amiya."
Breathlessly and with a lisp, Amiya
began.
"Mahakathayapa," she said,
"wath the only one of the dithciples that underthood what the Buddha wath
talking about."
"And what was he talking
about?"
"He wathn't talking. That'th why they didn't underthtand."
"But Mahakasyapa understood what he
was talking about even though he wasn't talking - is that it?"
The little girl nodded. That was it exactly. "They thought he wath going to preach a
thermon," she said, "but he didn't.
He jutht picked a flower and held it up for everybody to look at."
"And that was the sermon,"
shouted a small boy in a yellow loincloth, who had been wriggling in his seat,
hardly able to contain his desire to impart what he knew.
"But nobody could underthtand that
kind of a thermon. Nobody but Mahakathyapa."
"So what did Mahakasyapa say when
the Buddha held up that flower?"
"Nothing!" the yellow loincloth
shouted triumphantly.
"He jutht thmiled," Amiya
elaborated. "And that thhowed the
Buddha that he underthtood what it wath all about. Tho he thmiled back, and they jutht that
there, thmiling and thmiling."
"Very good," said the
teacher. "And now," he turned
to the yellow loincloth, "let's hear what you think it was that
Mahakasyapa understood."
There was a silence. Then, crestfallen, the child shook his
head. "I don't know," he
mumbled.
"Does anyone else know?"
There were several conjectures. Perhaps he'd understood that people get bored
with sermons - even the Buddha's sermons.
Perhaps he liked flowers as much as the Compassionate One did. Perhaps it was a white flower, and that made
him think of the Clear Light. Or perhaps
it was blue, and that was Shiva's colour.
"Good answers," said the
teacher. "Especially the first
one. Sermons are pretty boring -
especially for the preacher. But here's
a question. If any of your answers had
been what Mahakasyapa understood when Buddha held up the flower, why didn't he
come out with it in so many words?"
"Perhapth he wathn't a good
thpeaker."
"He was an excellent speaker."
"Maybe he had a sore throat."
"If he'd had a sore throat, he
wouldn't have smiled so happily."
"You tell us," called a
shrill voice from the back of the room.
The teacher shook his head. "If Mahakasyapa and the Compassionate
One couldn't put it into words, how can I?
Meanwhile let's take another look at these diagrams on the
blackboard. Public words, more or less
public events and then people, completely private centres of pain and pleasure. Completely private?" he
questioned. "But perhaps that isn't
quite true. Perhaps, after all, there is
some kind of communication between the circles - not in the way I'm
communicating with you now, through words, but directly. And maybe that was what the Buddha was
talking about when his wordless flower-sermon was over. 'I have the treasure of the unmistakable
teachings,' he said to his disciples, 'the wonderful Mind of Nirvana, the true
form without form, beyond all words, the teaching to be given and received
outside of all doctrines. This I have
now handed to Mahakasyapa.'"
Picking up the chalk again, he traced a rough ellipse that enclosed
within its boundaries all the other diagrams on the board - the little circles
representing human beings, the square that stood for events and the other
square that stood for words and symbols.
"All separate," he said, "and yet all one. People, events, words - they're all
manifestations of Mind, of Suchness, of the Void. What Buddha was implying and what Mahakasyapa
understood was that one can't speak these teachings, one can only be
them. Which is something you'll all
discover when the moment comes for your initiation."
"Time to move on," the
Principal whispered. And when the door
had closed behind them, and they were standing again in the corridor. "We use this same kind of approach,"
she said to Will, "in our science teaching, beginning with botany."
"Why with botany?"
"Because it can be related so easily
to what was being talked about just now - Mahakasyapa story."
"Is that your starting point?"
"No, we start prosaically with the
text book. The children are given all
the obvious, elementary facts, tidily arranged in the standard
pigeon-holes. Undiluted botany - that's
the first stage. Six or seven weeks of
it. After which they get a whole morning
of what we call bridge-building. Two and
a half hours during which we try to make them relate everything they've learned
in the previous lessons to art, language, religion, self-knowledge."
"Botany and self-knowledge - how do
you build that bridge?"
"It's really quite simple," Mrs
Narayan assured him. "Each of the
children is given a common flower - a hibiscus for example, or better still
(because the hibiscus has no scent), a gardenia. Scientifically speaking, what is a
gardenia? What does it consist of? Petals, stamens, pistil, ovary and all the
rest of it. The children are asked to
write a full analytical description of the flower, illustrated by accurate
drawing. When that's done there's a short
rest period, at the close of which the Mahakasyapa story is read to them and
they're asked to think about it. Was
Buddha giving a lesson in botany? Or was
he teaching his disciples something else?
And, if so, what?"
"What indeed?"
"And, of course, as the story makes
clear, there's no answer that can be put into words. So we tell the boys and girls to stop
thinking and just look. 'But don't look
analytically," we tell them. 'Don't
look as scientists, even as gardeners.
Liberate yourselves from everything you know and look with complete
innocence at this infinitely improbable thing before you. Look at it as though you'd never seen
anything of the kind before, as though it had no name and belonged to no
recognizable class. Look at it alertly
but passively, receptively, without labelling or judging or comparing. And as you look at it, inhale its mystery,
breathe in the spirit of sense, the smell of the wisdom of the other
shore.'"
"All this," Will commented,
"sounds very like what Dr Robert was saying at the initiation
ceremony."
"Of course it does," said Mrs
Narayan. "Learning to take the
Mahakasyapa's-eye view of things is the best preparation from the moksha-medicine
experience. Every child who comes to
initiation comes to it after a long education in the art of being
receptive. First the gardenia as a
botanical specimen. Then the same
gardenia in its uniqueness, the gardenia as the artist sees it, the even more
miraculous gardenia seen by the Buddha and the Mahakasyapa. And it goes without saying," she added,
"that we don't confine ourselves to flowers. Every course the children take is punctuated
by periodical bridge-building sessions.
Everything from dissected frogs to the spiral nebulae, it all gets
looked at receptively as well as conceptually, as a fact of aesthetic of
spiritual experience as well as in terms of science or history or
economics. Training in receptivity is
the complement and antidote to training in analysis and
symbol-manipulation. Both kinds of
training are absolutely indispensable.
If you neglect either of them you'll never grow into a fully human
being."
There was a silence. "How should one look at other
people?" Will asked at last.
"Should one take the Freud's-eye view or the Cézanne's-eye view? The Proust's-eye view or the Buddha's-eye
view?"
Mrs Narayan laughed. "Which view are you taking of me?"
she asked.
"Primarily," I suppose,
"the sociologist's-eye view," he answered. "I'm looking at you as the
representative of an unfamiliar culture.
But I'm also being aware of you receptively. Thinking, if you don't mind my saying so,
that you seem to have aged remarkably well.
Well aesthetically, well intellectually and psychologically, and well
spiritually, whatever that word means - and if I make myself receptive it means
something important. Whereas, if I
choose to project instead of taking in, I can only conceptualize it into pure
nonsense." He uttered a mildly
hyena-like laugh.
"If one chooses to," said Mrs
Narayan, "one can always substitute a bad ready-made notion for the best
insights of receptivity. The question
is, why should one want to make that kind of choice? Why shouldn't one choose to listen to both
parties and harmonize their views? The
analysing tradition-bound concept-maker and the alertly passive
insight-receiver - neither is infallible; but both together can do a reasonably
good job."
"Just how effective is your training
in the art of being receptive?" Will now inquired.
"There are degrees of
receptivity," she answered.
"Very little of it in a science lesson, for example. Science starts with observation; but the
observation is always selective. You
have to look at the world through a lattice of projected concepts. Then you take the moksha-medicine, and
suddenly there are hardly any concepts.
You don't select and immediately classify what you experience; you just
take it in. It's like that poem of
Wordsworth's. 'Bring with your heart
that watches and receives.' In these
bridge-building sessions I've been describing there's still quite a lot of busy
selecting and projecting but not nearly so much as in the preceding science
lessons. The children don't suddenly
turn into little Tathagatas; they don't achieve the pure receptivity that comes
with the moksha-medicine. Far
from it. All one can say is that they
learn to go easy on names and notions.
For a little while they're taking in a lot more than they give
out."
"What do you make them do with what
they've taken in?"
"We merely ask them," Mrs
Narayan answered with a smile, "to attempt the impossible. The children are told to translate their
experience into words. As a piece of
pure, unconceptualized givenness, what is this flower, this dissected
frog, this planet at the other end of the telescope? What does it mean? What does it make you think, feel, imagine,
remember? Try to put it down on
paper. You won't succeed, of course; but
try all the same? It'll help you to
understand the difference between words and events, between knowing about
things and being acquainted with them.
'And when you've finished writing,' we tell them, 'look at the flower
again, and after you've looked, shut your eyes for a minute or two. Then draw what came to you when your eyes
were closed. Draw whatever it may have
been - something entirely different..
Draw what you saw or even what you didn't see, draw it and colour it
with your paints or crayons. Then take
another rest and, after that, compare your first drawing with the second;
compare the scientific description of the flower with what you wrote about it
when you weren't analysing what you saw, when you behaved as though you didn't
know anything about the flower and just permitted the mystery of its existence
to come to you, like that, out of the blue.
Then compare your drawings and writings of the other boys and girls in
the class. You'll notice that the
analytical descriptions and illustrations are very similar, whereas the
drawings and writings of the other kind are very different one from
another. How is all this connected with
what you have learned in school, at home, in the jungle, in the temple?' Dozens of questions, and all of them
insistent. The bridges have to be built
in all directions. One starts with
botany - or any other subject in the school curriculum - and one finds oneself,
at the end of a bridge-building session, thinking about the nature of language,
about different kinds of experience, about metaphysics and conduct of life,
about analytical knowledge and the wisdom of the Other Shore."
"How on earth," Will asked,
"did you ever manage to teach the teachers who now teach the children to
build these bridges?"
"We began teaching teachers a
hundred and seven years ago," said Mrs Narayan. "Classes of young men and women who had
been educated in the traditional Palanese way.
You know - good manners, good agriculture, good arts and crafts,
tempered by folk medicine, old wives' physics and biology, and a belief in the
power of magic and the truth of fairy tales.
No science, no history, no knowledge of anything going on in the outside
world. But these future teachers were
pious Buddhists; most of them practised meditation and all of them had read or
listened to quite a lot of Mahayana philosophy.
That meant that in the fields of applied metaphysics and psychology,
they'd been educated far more thoroughly and far more realistically than any
group of future teachers in your part of the world. Dr Andrew was a scientifically trained,
anti-dogmatic humanist, who had discovered the value of pure and applied
Mahayana. His friend, the Raja, was a
Tantric Buddhist who had discovered the value of pure and applied science. Both, consequently, saw very clearly that, to
be capable of teaching children to become fully human in a society fit for
fully human beings to live in, a teacher would first have to be taught how to
make the best of both worlds."
"And how did those early teachers
feel about it? Didn't they resist the
process?"
Mrs Narayan shook her head. "They didn't resist, for the good reason
that nothing precious had been attacked.
Their Buddhism was respected. All
they were asked to give up was the old wives' science and the fairy-tales. And in exchange for those they got all kinds
of much more interesting facts and much more useful theories. And these exciting things from your Western
world of knowledge and power and progress were now to be combined with, and in
a sense subordinated to, the theories of Buddhism and the psychological facts
of applied metaphysics. There was really
nothing in that best-of-both-worlds programme to offend the susceptibilities of
even the touchiest and most ardent of religious patriots."
"I'm wondering about our future
teachers," said Will after a silence.
"At this late stage, would they be teachable? Could they possibly learn to make the best of
both worlds?"
"Why not? They wouldn't have to give up any of the
things that are really important to them.
The non-Christian could go on thinking about man and the Christians
could go on worshipping God. No change,
except that God would have to be thought of as immanent and man would have to
be thought of as potentially self-transcendent."
"And you think they'd make those
changes without any fuss?" Will laughed.
"You're an optimist."
"An optimist," said Mrs
Narayan, "for the simple reason that, if one tackles a problem
intelligently and realistically, the results are apt to be fairly good. This island justifies a certain
optimism. And now let's go and have a
look at the dancing class."
They crossed a tree-shaded courtyard and,
pushing through a swing door, passed out of silence into the rhythmic beat of a
drum and the screech of fifes repeating over and over again a short pentatonic
tune that to Will's ears sounded vaguely Scottish.
"Live music or canned?" he
asked.
"Japanese tape," Mrs Narayan
answered laconically. She opened a
second door that gave access to a large gymnasium where two bearded young men
and an amazingly agile little old lady in black satin slacks were teaching some
twenty or thirty little boys and girls the steps of a lively dance."
"What's this?" Will asked. "Fun or education?"
"Both," said the
Principal. "And it's also applied
ethics. Like those breathing exercises
we were talking about just now - only more effective because so much more violent."
"So stamp it out," the children
were chanting in unison. And they
stamped their small sandalled feet with all their might. "So stamp it out!" A final furious stamp and they were off
again, jigging and turning, into another movement of the dance."
"This is called the Rakshasi
Hornpipe," said Mrs Narayan.
"Rakshasi?" Will questioned. "What's that?"
"A Rakshasi is a species of
demon. Very large, and exceedingly
unpleasant. All the ugliest passions
personified. The Rakshasi Hornpipe is a
device for letting off those dangerous heads of steam raised by anger and
frustration."
"So stamp it out!" The music had come round again to the choral
refrain. "So stamp it out!"
"Stamp again," cried the little
old lady setting a furious example.
"Harder! Harder!"
"Which did more," Will
speculated, "for morality and rational behaviour - the Bacchic orgies or
the Republic? the Nicomachean Ethics or Corybantic dancing?"
"The Greeks," said Mrs Narayan,
"were much too sensible to think in terms of either-or. For them, it was not-only-but-also. Not only Plato and Aristotle, but also the maenads. Without those tension-reducing hornpipes, the
moral philosophy would have been impotent, and without the moral philosophy the
horn-pipers wouldn't have known where to go next. All we've done is to take a leaf out of the
old Greek book."
"Very good!" said Will
approvingly. Then remembering (as sooner
or later, however keen his pleasure and however genuine his enthusiasm, he
always did remember) that he was the man who wouldn't take yes for an answer, he
suddenly broke into laughter. "Not
that it makes any difference in the long run," he said, "Corybantism
couldn't stop the Greeks from cutting one another's throats. And when Colonel Dipa decided to move, what
will your Rakshasi Hornpipes do for you?
Help you to reconcile yourselves to your fate, perhaps - that's
all."
"Yes, that's all," said Mrs
Narayan. "But being reconciled to
one's fate - that's already a great achievement."
"You seem to take it all very
calmly."
"What would be the point of taking
it hysterically? It wouldn't make our political
situation any better; it would merely make our personal situation a good deal
worse."
"So stamp it out," the children
shouted again in unison, and the boards trembled under their pounding
feet. "So stamp it out."
"Don't imagine," Mrs Narayan
resumed, "that this is the only kind of dancing we teach. Redirecting the power generated by bad
feelings is important. But equally
important is directing good feelings and right knowledge into expression. Expressive movements, in this case,
expressive gesture. If you had come
yesterday, when our visiting master was here, I could have shown you how we
teach that kind of dancing. Not today
unfortunately. He won't be here again
before Tuesday."
"What sort of dancing does he
teach?"
Mrs Narayan tried to describe it. No leaps, no high kicks, no running. The feet always firmly on the ground. Just bending and sideways motions of the
knees and hips. All expression confined
to the arms, wrists and hands, to the neck and head, the face and, above all,
the eyes. Movement from the shoulders
upwards and outwards - movement intrinsically beautiful and at the same time
charged with symbolic meaning. Thought
taking shape in ritual and stylized gesture.
The whole body transformed into a hieroglyph, a succession of
hieroglyphs, of attitudes modulating from significance to significance like a
poem or a piece of music. Movements of
the muscles representing movements of Consciousness, the passage of Suchness
into the many, of the many into the immanent and ever present One."
"It's meditation in action,"
she concluded. "It's the
metaphysics of the Mahayana expressed, not in words, but through symbolic
movements and gestures."
They left the gymnasium by a different
door from that through which they had entered and turned left along a short
corridor.
"What's the next item?" Will
asked.
"The Lower Fourth," Mrs Narayan
answered, "and they're working on Elementary Practical Psychology."
She opened a green door.
"Well, now you know," Will
heard a familiar voice saying.
"Nobody has to feel pain.
You told yourselves that the pin wouldn't hurt - and it didn't
hurt."
They stepped into the room and there,
very tall in the midst of a score of plump or skinny little brown bodies, was
Susila MacPhail. She smiled at them, pointed
to a couple of chairs in a corner of the room and turned back to the
children. "Nobody has to
feel pain," she repeated. "But
never forget: pain always means that something is wrong. You've learned to shut pain off, but don't do
it thoughtlessly, don't do it without asking yourselves the question: What's
the reason for this pain? And if it's
bad, or if there's no obvious reason for it, tell your mother about it, or your
teacher, or any grown-up in your Mutual Adoption Club. Then shut off the pain. Shut it off knowing that, if anything needs
to be done, it will be done. Do you
understand? And now," she went on,
after all the questions had been asked and answered. "Now let's play some pretending
games. Shut your eyes and pretend you're
looking at that poor old mynah bird with one leg that comes to school every day
to be fed. Can you see him?"
Of course they could see him. The one-legged mynah was evidently an old
friend.
"See him just as clearly as you saw
him today at lunch time. And don't stare
at him, don't make any effort. Just see
what comes to you, and let your eyes shift - from his beak to his tail, from
his bright little round eye to his one orange leg."
"I can hear him too," a little
girl volunteered. "He's saying 'Karuna,
Karuna!'"
"That's not true," another
child said indignantly. "He's
saying 'Attention!'"
"He's saying both those
things," Susila assured them. "And probably a lot of other words
besides. But now we're going to do some
real pretending. Pretend that there are
two one-legged mynah birds. Three
one-legged mynah birds. Four one-legged
mynah birds. Can you see all four of
them?"
They could.
"Four one-legged mynah birds at the
four corners of a square, and a fifth one in the middle. And now let's make them change their
colour. They're white now. Five white mynah birds with yellow heads and
one orange leg. And now the heads are
blue. Bright blue - and the rest of the
bird is pink. Five pink birds with blue
heads. And they keep changing. They're purple now. Five purple birds with white heads and each
of them has one pale green leg.
Goodness, what's happening! There
aren't five of them; there are ten. No,
twenty, fifty, a hundred. Hundreds and
hundreds. Can you see them? Some of them could - without the slightest
difficulty; and for those who couldn't go the whole hog, Susila proposed more
modest goals.
"Just make twelve of them," she
said. "Of if twelve is too many,
make ten, make eight. That's still an
awful lot of mynahs. And now," she
went on, when all the children had conjured up all the purple birds that each
was capable of creating, "now they're gone." She clapped her hands. "Gone!
Every single one of them. There's
nothing there. And now you're not going
to see mynahs, you're going to see me.
One me in yellow. Two me's in
green. Three me's in blue with pink
spots. Four me's in the brightest red
you ever saw." She clapped her
hands again. "All gone. And this time it's Mrs Narayan and that
funny-looking man with a stiff leg who came in with her. Four of each of them. Standing in a big circle in the
gymnasium. And now they're dancing the
Rakshasi Hornpipe. 'So stamp it out, so
stamp it out.'"
There was a general giggle. The dancing Wills and Principals must have
looked richly comical.
Susila snapped her fingers.
"Away with them! Vanish!
And now each of you sees three of your mothers and three of your fathers
running round the playground. Faster,
faster, faster! And suddenly they're not
there any more. And then they are
there. But next moment they aren't. They are there, they aren't. They are, they aren't ..."
The giggles swelled into squeals of
laughter and at the height of the laughter a bell rang. The lesson in Elementary Practical Psychology
was over.
"What's the point of it all?"
Will asked when the children had run off to play and Mrs Narayan had returned
to her office.
"The point," Susila answered,
"is to get people to understand that we're not completely at the
mercy of our memory and our phantasies.
If we're disturbed by what's going on inside our heads, we can do
something about it. It's all a question
of being shown what to do and then practising - the way one learns to write or
play the flute. What those children you
saw here were being taught is a very simple technique - a technique that we'll
develop later on into a method of liberation.
Not complete liberation, of course.
But half a loaf is a great deal better than no bread. This technique won't lead you to a discovery
of your Buddha Nature: but it may help you to prepare for that discovery - help
you by liberating you from the hauntings of your own painful memories, your
remorses, your causeless anxieties about the future."
"'Hauntings'," Will agreed,
"is the word."
"But one doesn't have to be
haunted. Some of the ghosts can be laid
quite easily. Whenever one of them
appears, just give it the imagination treatment. Deal with it as we dealt with those mynahs,
as we dealt with you and Mrs Narayan.
Change its clothes, give it another nose, multiply it, tell it to go
away, call it back again and make it do something ridiculous. Then abolish it. Just think what you could have done about
your father, if someone had taught you a few of those simple little tricks when
you were a child! You thought of him as
a terrifying ogre. But that wasn't
necessary. In your fancy you could have
turned the ogre into a grotesque. Into a
whole chorus of grotesques. Twenty of
them doing a tap dance and singing, 'I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls.' A short course in Elementary Practical
Psychology, and your whole life might have been different."
How would he have dealt with Molly's
death, Will wondered as they walked out towards the parked jeep? What rites of imaginative exorcism could he
have practised on that white, musk-scented succubus who was the incarnation of
his frantic and abhorred desires?
But here was the jeep. Will handed Susila the keys and laboriously
hoisted himself into his seat. Very
noisily, as though it were under some neurotic compulsion to over-compensate
for its diminutive stature, a small and aged car approached from the direction
of the village, turned into the driveway and, still clattering and shuddering,
came to a halt beside the jeep.
They turned. There, leaning out of the window of the royal
Baby Austin, was Murugan and beyond him, vast in white muslin and billowy like
a cumulus cloud, sat the Rani. Will
bowed in her direction and evoked the most gracious of smiles, which was
switched off as soon as she turned to Susila, whose greeting was acknowledged
only with the most distant of nods.
"Going for a drive?" Will asked
politely.
"Only as far as Shivapuram,"
said the Rani.
"If this wretched little crate will
hold together that long," Murugan added bitterly. He turned the ignition key. The motor gave a last obscene hiccup and
died.
"There are some people we have to
see," the Rani went on. "Or
rather One Person," she added in a tone charged with conspiratorial
significance. She smiled at Will and
very nearly winked.
Pretending not to understand that she was
talking about Bahu, Will uttered a non-committal "Quite", and
commiserated with her on all the work and worry that the preparations for next
week's coming-of-age party must entail.
Murugan interrupted him. "What are you doing out here?" he
asked.
"I've spent the afternoon taking an
intelligent interest in Palanese education."
"Palanese education," the Rani
echoed. And again, sorrowfully,
"Palanese" (pause)
"Education." She shook her
head.
"Personally," said Will,
"I liked everything I saw and heard of it - from Mr Menon and the
Principal to Elementary Practical Psychology, as taught," he added, trying
to bring Susila into the conversation, "by Mrs MacPhail here."
Still studiedly ignoring Susila, the Rani
pointed a thick accusing finger at the scarecrows in the field below. "Have you see those?" Mr
Farnaby.
He had indeed. "And where but Pala," he asked,
"can one find scarecrows which are simultaneously beautiful, efficient,
and metaphysically significant?"
"And which," said the Rani in a
voice that was vibrant with a kind of sepulchral indignation, "not only
scare the birds away from the rice; they also scare little children away from
the very idea of God and His Avatars."
She raised her hand, "Listen!"
Tom Krishna and Mary Sarojini had been
joined by five or six small companions and were making a game of tugging at the
strings that worked the supernatural marionettes. From the group came a sound of shrill voices
piping in unison. At their second
repetition, Will made out the words of the chantey.
"Pully, hauly, tug with a will;
The gods wiggle-waggle, but the sky
stands still."
"Bravo!" he said, and laughed.
"I'm afraid I can't be amused,"
said the Rani severely. "It isn't
funny. It's Tragic, Tragic."
Will stuck to his guns. "I understand," he smiled,
"that these charming scarecrows were an invention of Murugan's
great-grandfather."
"Murugan's great-grandfather,"
said the Rani, "was a very remarkable man.
Remarkably intelligent, but no less remarkably perverse. Great gifts - but, alas, how maleficiently
used! And what made it all so much
worse, he was full of False Spirituality!"
"False Spirituality?" Will eyed the enormous specimen of True Spirituality
and, through the reek of hot petroleum products, inhaled the incense-like,
otherworldly smell of sandalwood.
"False Spirituality?"
And suddenly he found himself wondering - wondering and then, with a
shudder, imagining - what the Rani would look like if suddenly divested of her
mystic's uniform and exposed, exuberantly and steatopygously naked, to the
light. And now multiply her into a
trinity of undressed obesities, into two trinities, ten trinities. Applied Practical Psychology - with a vengeance!
"Yes, False Spirituality," the
Rani was repeating, "Talking about Liberation; but always, because of his
obstinate refusal to follow the True Path, always working for greater
Bondage. Acting the part of
humility. But in his heart, he was so full
of pride, Mr Farnaby, that he refused to recognize any Spiritual Authority
higher than his own. The Masters, the
Avatars, the Great Tradition - they meant nothing to him. Nothing at all. Hence those dreadful scarecrows. Hence that blasphemous rhyme that the
children have been taught to sing. When
I think of those Poor Innocent Little Ones being deliberately perverted, I find
it hard to contain myself, Mr Farnaby, I find it ..."
"Listen, Mother," said Murugan,
who had been glancing impatiently and ever more openly at his wristwatch,
"if we want to be back by dinner time, we'd better get going." His tone was rudely authoritative. Being at the wheel of a car - even of this
senile Baby Austin - made him feel, it was evident, considerably larger than life. Without waiting for the Rani's answer he
started the motor, shifted into low and, with a wave of the hand, drove off.
"Good riddance," said Susila.
"Don't you love your dear
Queen?"
"She makes my blood boil."
"So stamp it out," Will chanted
teasingly.
"You're quite right," she
agreed with a laugh. "But
unfortunately this was an occasion when it just wasn't feasible to do a
Rakshasi Hornpipe." Her face brightened
with a sudden flash of mischief, and without warning she punched him,
surprisingly hard, in the ribs.
"There," she said.
"Now I feel much better."
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
She
started the motor and they drove off - down to the by-pass, up again to the
high road beyond the other end of the village, and on into the compound of the
Experimental Station. Susila pulled up
at a small thatched bungalow like all the others. They climbed the six steps that led up to the
veranda and entered a whitewashed living-room.
To the left was a wide window with a
hammock slung between the two wooden pillars at either side of the projecting
bay. "For you," she said,
pointing to the hammock. "You can
put your legs up." And when Will
had lowered himself into the net, "What shall we talk about?" she
asked as she pulled up a wicker-chair and sat down beside him.
"What about the good, the true and
the beautiful? Or maybe," he
grinned, "the ugly, the bad and the even truer."
"I'd thought," she said,
ignoring his attempt at a witticism, "that we might go on where we left
off last time - go on talking about you."
"That was precisely what I was
suggesting - the ugly, the bad and the truer than all official truth."
"Is this just an exhibition of your
conversational style?" she asked.
"Or do you really want to talk about yourself?"
"Really," he assured her,
"desperately. Just as desperately
as I don't want to talk about myself.
Hence, as you may have noticed, my unflagging interest in art, science,
philosophy, politics, literature - any damned thing rather than the only thing
that ultimately has any importance."
There was a long silence. Then in a tone of casual reminiscence, Susila
began to talk about Wells Cathedral, about the calling of the jackdaws, about
the white swans floating between the reflections of the floating clouds. In a few minutes he too was floating.
"I was very happy all the time I was
at Wells," she said.
"Wonderfully happy. And so
were you, weren't you?"
Will made no answer. He was remembering those days in the green
valley, years ago, before he and Molly were married, before they were
lovers. What peace! What a solid, living maggotless world of
springing grass and flowers! And between
them had flowed the kind of natural, undistorted feeling that he hadn't
experienced since those far-off days when Aunt Mary was alive. The only person he had ever really loved -
and here, in Molly, was her successor.
What blessedness! Love
transported into another key - but the melody, the rich and subtle harmonies
were the same. And then, on the fourth
night of their stay, Molly had knocked on the wall that separated their rooms,
and he had found her door ajar, had groped his way in darkness to the bed
where, conscientiously naked, the Sister of Mercy was doing her best to play
the part of the Wife of Love. Doing her
best and (how disastrously!) failing.
Suddenly, as happened almost every
afternoon, there was a loud rushing of wind and, muffled by distance, a hollow
roaring of rain on thick foliage - a roaring that grew louder and louder as the
shower approached. A few seconds passed,
and then the raindrops were hammering insistently on the window panes. Hammering as they had hammered on the windows
of his study that day of their last interview.
"Do you really mean it, Will?"
The pain and shame of it made him want to
cry aloud. He bit his lip.
"What are you thinking of?"
Susila asked.
It wasn't a matter of thinking. He was actually seeing her, actually hearing
her voice. "Do you really mean it,
Will?" And through the sound of the
rain he heard himself answering, "I really mean it."
On the window pane - was it here? Or was it there, was it then? - the roar had
diminished, as the gust spent itself to a pattering whisper.
"What are you thinking of?"
Susila insisted.
"I'm thinking of what I did to
Molly."
"What was it that you did to
Molly?"
He didn't want to answer; but Susila was
inexorable.
"Tell me what it was that you
did."
Another violent gust made the windows
rattle. It was raining harder now -
raining, it seemed to Will Farnaby, on purpose, raining in such a way that he
would have to go on remembering what he didn't want to remember, would
be compelled to say out loud the shameful things he must at all costs keep to
himself.
"Tell me."
Reluctantly and in spite of himself, he
told her.
"'Do you really mean it,
Will?'" And because of Babs - Babs,
God help him! Babs, believe it or
not! - he really did mean it, and she had walked out into the rain.
"The next time I saw her was in
hospital."
"Was it still raining?" Susila
asked.
"Still raining."
"As hard as it's raining now?"
"Very nearly." And what Will heard was no longer this
afternoon shower in the tropics, but the steady drumming on the window of the
little room where Molly lay dying.
"It's me," he was saying
through the sound of the rain, "It's Will." Nothing happened; and then suddenly he felt
the almost imperceptible movement of Molly's hand within his own. The voluntary pressure and then, after a few
seconds, the involuntary release, the total limpness.
"Tell me again, Will."
He shook his head. It was too painful, too humiliating.
"Tell me again," she
insisted. "It's the only way."
Making an enormous effort, he started to
tell the odious story yet once more. Did
he really mean it? Yes, he really meant
it - meant to hurt, meant perhaps (did one ever know what one really intended?)
to kill. All for Babs, or the World
well Lost. Not his world, of
course - Molly's world, and, at the centre of that world, the life that had
created it. Snuffed out for the sake of
that delicious smell in the darkness, of those muscular reflexes, that enormity
of enjoyment, those consummate and intoxicatingly shameless skills.
"Good-bye, Will." And the door had closed behind her with a
faint, dry click.
He wanted to call her back. But Bab's lover remembered the skills, the
reflexes, and, within its aura of musk, a body agonizing in the extremity of
pleasure. Remembered these things and,
standing at the window, watched the car move away through the rain, watched and
was filled, as it turned the corner, with a shameful exultation. Free at last!
Even freer, as he discovered three hours later in the hospital, than he
had supposed. For now he was feeling the
last faint pressure of her fingers; feeling the final message of her love. And then the message was interrupted. The hand went limp and now, suddenly,
appallingly, there was no sound of breathing.
"Dead," he whispered, and felt himself choking. "Dead."
"Suppose it hadn't been your
fault," said Susila, breaking a long silence. "Suppose that she'd suddenly died without
you having anything to do with it.
Wouldn't that have been almost as bad?"
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I mean, it's more than just feeling
guilty about Molly's death. It's death
itself, death as such, that you find so terrible." She was thinking of Dugald now. "So senselessly evil."
"Senselessly evil," he
repeated. "Yes, perhaps that's why
I had to be a professional execution-watcher.
Just because it was all so senseless, so utterly bestial. Following the smell of death from one end of the
earth to the other. Like a vulture. Nice comfortable people just don't have any
idea what the world is like. Not
exceptionally, as it was during the War, but all the time. All the time." And as he spoke he was seeing, in a vision as
brief and comprehensive and intensely circumstantial as a drowning man's, all
the hateful scenes he had witnessed in the course of those well-paid
pilgrimages to every hell-hole and abattoir revolting enough to qualify as
News. Negroes in South Africa, the man
in the San Quentin gas chamber, mangled bodies in an Algerian farmhouse, and
everywhere mobs, everywhere policemen and paratroopers, everywhere those
dark-skinned children, stick-legged, pot-bellied, with flies on their raw
eyelids, everywhere the nauseating smells of hunger and disease, the awful
stench of death. And then suddenly,
through the stench of death, mingled and impregnated with the stench of death,
he was breathing the musky essence of Babs.
Breathing the essence of Babs and remembering his little joke about the
chemistry of purgatory and paradise.
Purgatory is tetraethylene diamine and sulphuretted hydrogen; paradise,
very definitely, is symtrinitropsi-butyl toluene, with an assortment of organic
impurities - ha- ha-ha! (Oh, the
delights of social life!) And then,
quite suddenly, the odours of love and death gave place to a rank animal smell
- a smell of dog.
The wind swelled up again into violence
and the driving raindrops hammered and splashed against the panes.
"Are you still thinking of Molly?"
Susila asked.
"I was thinking of something I'd
completely forgotten," he answered.
"I can't have been more than four years old when it happened, and
now it's all come back to me. Poor
Tiger."
"Who was Poor Tiger?" she
questioned.
Tiger, his beautiful red setter. Tiger, the only source of light in that
dismal house where he had spent his childhood.
Tiger, dear dear Tiger. In the
midst of all that fear and misery, between the two poles of his father's
sneering hate of everything and everybody and his mother's self-conscious
self-sacrifice, what effortless good will, what spontaneous friendliness, what
a bounding, barking, irrepressible joy!
His mother used to take him on her knee and tell him about God and Jesus. But there was more God in Tiger than in all
her Bible stories. Tiger, so far as he
was concerned, was the Incarnation. And
then one day the Incarnation came down with distemper.
"What happened then?" Susila
asked.
"His basket's in the kitchen, and
I'm there, kneeling beside it. And I'm
stroking him - but his fur feels quite different from what it felt like before
he was sick. Kind of sticky. And there's a bad smell. If I didn't love him so much, I'd run away, I
couldn't bear to be near him. But I do
love him, I love him more than anything or anybody. And while I stroke him, I keep telling him
that he'll soon be well again. Very soon
- tomorrow morning. And then all of a
sudden he starts to shudder, and I try to stop the shuddering by holding his
head between my hands. But it doesn't do
any good. The trembling turns into a
horrible convulsion. It makes me feel
sick to look at it, and I'm frightened.
I'm dreadfully frightened. Then
the shuddering and the twitching die down and in a little while he's absolutely
still. And when I lift his head and then
let go, the head falls back - thump, like a piece of meat with a bone
inside."
Will's voice broke, the tears were
streaming down his cheeks, he was shaken by the sobs of a four-year-old
grieving for his dog and confronted by the awful, inexplicable fact of
death. With the mental equivalent of a
click and a little jerk, his consciousness seemed to change gear. He was an adult again, and he had ceased to float.
"I'm sorry." He wiped his eyes and blew his nose. "Well, that was my first introduction to
the Essential Horror. Tiger was my
friend, Tiger was my only consolation.
That was something, obviously, that the Essential Horror couldn't
tolerate. And it was the same with my
Aunt Mary. The only person I ever really
loved and admired and completely trusted; and, Christ, what the Essential
Horror did to her!"
"Tell me," said Susila.
Will hesitated, then, shrugging his
shoulders, "Why not?" he said.
"Mary Frances Farnaby, my father's younger sister. Married at eighteen, just a year before the
outbreak of World War I, to a professional soldier. Frank and Mary, Mary and Frank - what
harmony, what happiness!" He
laughed. "Even outside of Pala one
can find occasional islands of decency.
Tiny little atolls, or even, every now and then, a full-blown Tahiti -
but always totally surrounded by the Essential Horror. Two young people on their private Pala. Then, one fine morning, it was 4 August 1914,
Frank went overseas with the Expeditionary Force, and on Christmas Eve Mary
gave birth to a deformed child that survived long enough for her to see for
herself what the E.H. can do when it really tries. Only God can make a microcephalous
idiot. Three months later, needless to
say, Frank was hit by a piece of shrapnel and died in due course of
gangrene. All that," Will went on
after a little silence, "was before my time. When I first knew her, in the twenties, Aunt
Mary was devoting herself to the aged.
Old people in institutions, old people cooped up in their own homes, old
people living on and on as a burden to their children and grandchildren. Struldbrugs, Tithonuses. And the more hopeless the decrepitude, the
more crotchety and querulous the character, the better. As a child, how I hated Aunt Mary's old
people! They smelt bad, they were
frighteningly ugly, they were always boring and generally cross. But Aunt Mary really loved them - loved them
through thick and thin, loved them in spite of everything. My mother used to talk a lot about Christian
charity; but somehow one never believed what she said, just as one never felt
any love in all the self-sacrificing things she was always forcing herself to
do - no love, only duty. Whereas with
Aunt Mary one was never in the slightest doubt.
Her love was like a kind of physical radiation, something one could
almost sense as heat or light. When she
took me to stay with her in the country and later, when she came to town and I
used to go and see her almost every day, it was like escaping from a refrigerator
into the sunshine. I could feel myself
coming alive in that light of hers, that radiating warmth. Then the Essential Horror got busy
again. At the beginning she made a joke
of it. 'Now I'm an Amazon,' she said
after the first operation.
"Why an Amazon?" Susila asked.
"The Amazons had their right breast
amputated. They were warriors and the
breast got in the way when they were shooting with the long bow. 'Now I'm an Amazon'," he repeated, and
with his mind's eye could see the smile on that strong aquiline face, could
hear, with his mind's ear, the tone of amusement in that clear, ringing
voice. "But a few months later the
other breast had to be cut off. After
that there were the X-rays, the radiation sickness and then, little by little,
the degradation." Will's face took
on its look of flayed ferocity. "If
it weren't so unspeakably hideous, it would really be funny. What a masterpiece of irony! Here was a soul that radiated goodness and
love and heroic charity. Then, for no
known reason, something went wrong.
Instead of flouting it, a little piece of her body started to obey the
second law of thermodynamics. And as the
body broke down, the soul began to lose its virtue, its very identity. The heroism went out of her, the love and the
goodness evaporated. For the last months
of her life, she was no more the Aunt Mary I had loved and admired; she was
somebody else, somebody (and this was the ironist's final and most exquisite
touch) almost indistinguishable from the worst and weakest of the old people
she had once befriended and been a tower of strength to. She had to be humiliated and degraded; and
when the degradation was complete, she was slowly, and with a great deal of
pain, put to death in solitude. In
solitude," he insisted. "For
of course nobody can help, nobody can ever be present. People may stand by while you're suffering
and dying; but they're standing by in another world. In your world you're absolutely
alone. Alone in your suffering and your
dying, just as you're alone in love, alone even in the most completely shared
pleasure."
The essences of Babs and of Tiger, and
when the cancer had gnawed a hole in the liver and her wasted body was
impregnated with that strange, aromatic smell of contaminated blood, the
essence of Aunt Mary dying. And in the
midst of those essences, sickeningly or intoxicatedly aware of them, was an
isolated consciousness, a child's, a boy's, a man's, forever isolated,
irremediably alone. "And on top of
everything else," he went on, "this woman was only forty-one. She didn't want to die. She refused to accept what was being done to
her. The Essential Horror had to drag
her down by main force. I was there; I
saw it happening."
"And that's why you're the man who
won't take yes for an answer?"
"How can anyone take yes for an
answer?" he countered. "Yes is
just pretending, just positive thinking.
The fact, the basic and ultimate facts, are always no. Spirit?
No! Love? No!
Sense, meaning achievement?
No!"
Tiger exuberantly alive and joyful and
full of God. And then Tiger transformed
by the Essential Horror into a packet of garbage, which the vet had to come and
be paid for removing. And after Tiger,
Aunt Mary. Maimed and tortured, dragged
in the mud, degraded and finally, like Tiger, transformed into a packet of
garbage - only this time it was the undertaker who had removed it, and a
clergyman was hired to make believe that it was all, in some sublime and
Pickwickian sense, perfectly O.K. Twenty
years later another clergyman had been hired to repeat the same strange rigmarole
over Molly's coffin. "If after the manner of men I have fought with
beasts at Ephesus, what advantageth it me if the dead rise not? Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we
die."
Will uttered another of his hyena
laughs. "What impeccable logic,
what sensibility, what ethical refinement!"
"But you're the man who won't take
yes for an answer. So why raise any
objections?"
"I oughtn't to," he
agreed. "But one remains an
aesthete, one like to have the no said with style. 'Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we
die.'" He screwed up his face in an
expression of disgust.
"And yet," said Susila,
"in a certain sense the advice is excellent. Eating, drinking, dying - three primary
manifestations of the universal and impersonal life. Animals live that impersonal and universal
life without knowing its nature.
Ordinary people know it nature but don't live it and, if ever they think
seriously about it, refuse to accept it.
An enlightened person knows it, lives it and accepts it completely. He eats, he drinks and in due course he dies
- but he eats with a difference, drinks with a difference, dies with a
difference."
"And rises again from the
dead?" he asked sarcastically.
"That's one of the questions the
Buddha always refused to discuss.
Believing in eternal life never helped anybody to live in eternity. Nor, of course, did disbelieving. So stop all your pro-ing and con-ing (that's
the Buddha's advice) and get on with the job."
"Which job?"
"Everybody's job -
enlightenment. Which means, here and
now, the preliminary job of practising all the yogas of increased
awareness."
"But I don't want to be more
aware," said Will. "I want to
be less aware. Less aware of horrors
like Aunt Mary's death and the slums of Rendang-Lobo. Less aware of hideous sights and loathsome
smells - even of some delicious smells," he added as he caught through the
remembered essences of dog and cancer of the liver, a civet-like whiff of the
pink alcove: "Less aware of my fat income and other people's subhuman
poverty. Less aware of my own excellent
health in an ocean of malaria and hookworm, of my own safely sterilized sex-fun
in the ocean of starving babies.
'Forgive them, for they know not what they do." What a blessed state of affairs! But unfortunately I do know what I'm doing. Only too well. And here you go, asking me to be even more
aware than I am already."
"I'm not asking anything," she
said. "I'm merely passing on the
advice of a succession of shrewd old birds, beginning with Gautama and ending
with the Old Raja. Start by being fully
aware of what you think you are. It'll
help you to become aware of what you are in fact."
He shrugged his shoulders. "One thinks one's something unique and
wonderful at the centre of the universe.
But in fact one's merely a slight delay in the ongoing march of
entropy."
"And that precisely, is the first
half of the Buddha's message.
Transience, no permanent soul, inevitable sorrow. But he didn't stop there, the message had a
second half. The temporary slowdown of
entropy is also pure undiluted Suchness.
This absence of a permanent soul is also the Buddha Nature."
"Absence of a soul - that's easy to
cope with. But what about the presence
of cancer, the presence of slow degradation?
What about hunger and overbreeding and Colonel Dipa? Are they pure Suchness?"
"Of course. But, needless to say, it's desperately
difficult for the people who are deeply involved in any of those evils to
discover their Buddha Nature. Public
health and social reform are the indispensable preconditions of any kind of
general enlightenment."
"But in spite of public health and
social reform, people still die. Even in
Pala," he added ironically.
"Which is why the corollary of
welfare has to be dhyana - all the yogas of living and dying, so that
you can be aware, even in the final agony, of who in fact, and in spite of
everything, you really are."
There was a sound of footsteps on the
planking of the veranda and a childish voice called, "Mother!"
"Here I am, darling," Susila
called back.
The front door was flung open and Mary
Sarojini came hurrying into the room.
"Mother," she said
breathlessly, "they want you to come at once. It's Granny Lakshmi. She's ...” Catching sight for the first time
of the figure inn the hammock, she started and broke off.
"Oh!
I didn't know you were here."
Will waved his hand to her without
speaking. She gave him a perfunctory
smile, then turned back to her mother.
"Granny Lakshmi suddenly got much worse," she said, "and
Grandpa Robert is still up at the High Altitude Station, and they can't get
through to him on the telephone."
"Did you run all the way?"
"Except where it's really too
steep."
Susila put her arm round the child and
kissed her, then very brisk and business-like, rose to her feet.
"It's Dugald's mother," she
said.
"Is she ...?" He glanced at Mary Sarojini, then back at
Susila. Was death taboo? Could one mention it before children?"
"You mean, is she dying?"
He nodded.
"We've been expecting it, of
course," Susila went on. "But
not today. Today she seemed a little
better." She shook her head. "Well, I have to go and stand by - even
if it is in another world. And
actually," she added, "it isn't quite so completely other as you
think. I'm sorry we had to leave our
business unfinished; but there'll be other opportunities. Meanwhile what do you want to do? You can stay here. Or I'll drop you at Dr Robert's. Or you can come with me and Mary
Sarojini."
"As a professional
execution-watcher?"
"Not as a professional
execution-watcher," she answered emphatically. "As a human being, as someone who needs
to know how to live and then how to die.
Needs it as urgently as we all do."
"Needs it," he said, "a
lot more urgently than most. But shan't
I be in the way?"
"If you can get out of your own way,
you won't be in anyone else's."
She took his hand and helped him out of
the hammock. Two minutes later they were
driving past the lotus pool and the huge Buddha meditating under the cobra's
hood, past the white bull, out through the main gate of the compound. The rain was over, in a green sky enormous
clouds glowed like archangels. Low in
the West the sun was shining with a brightness than seemed almost supernatural.
Soles
occidere et redire possunt;
nobis
cum semel occidit brevis lux,
nox
est perpetua una dormienda.
Da
mi basia mille.
Sunsets and deaths; death and therefore
kisses; kisses and consequently birth and then death for yet another generation
of sunset-watchers.
"What do you say to people who are
dying?" he asked. "Do you tell
then not to bother their heads about immortality and get on with the
job?"
"If you like to put it that way -
yes, that's precisely what we do. Going
on being aware - it's the whole art of dying."
"And you teach the art?"
"I'd put it another way. We help them to go on practising the art of
living even while they're dying. Knowing
who in fact one is, being conscious of the universal and impersonal life that
lives itself through each of us - that's the art of living, and that's what one
can help the dying to go on practising.
To the very end. Maybe beyond the
end."
"Beyond?" he questioned. "But you said that was something that
the dying aren't supposed to think about."
"They're not being asked to think about
it. They're being helped, if there is such
a thing, to experience it. If there is
such a thing," she repeated, "if the universal life goes on, when the
separate me-life is over."
"Do you personally think it does go
on?"
Susila smiled. "What I personally think is beside the
point. All that matters is what I may
impersonally experience - while I'm living, when I'm dying, maybe when I'm
dead."
She swung the car into a parking space
and turned off the engine. On foot they
entered the village. Work was over for
the day and the main street was so densely thronged that it was hard for them
to pass.
"I'm going ahead by myself,"
Susila announced. Then to Mary Sarojini,
"Be at the hospital in about an hour," she said. "Not before." She turned and, threading her way between the
slowly promenading groups, was soon lost to view.
"You're in charge now," said
Will, smiling down at the child by his side.
Mary Sarojini nodded gravely and took his
hand. "Let's go and see what's
happening in the Square," she said.
"How old is your Granny
Lakshmi?" Will asked as they started to make their way along the crowded
street.
"I don't really know," Mary
Sarojini answered. "She looks
terribly old. But maybe that's because
she's got cancer."
"Do you know what cancer is?"
he asked.
Mary Sarojini knew perfectly well. "It's what happens when part of you
forgets all about the rest of you and carries on the way people do when they're
crazy - just goes on blowing itself up and blowing itself up as if there was
nobody else in the whole world.
Sometimes you can do something about it.
But generally it just goes on blowing itself up until the person
dies."
"And that's what has happened, I
gather, to your Granny Lakshmi."
"And now she needs someone to help
her die."
"Does your mother often help people
die?"
The child nodded. "She's awfully good at it."
"Have you ever seen anyone
die?"
"Of course," Mary Sarojini
answered, evidently surprised that such a question should be asked. "Let me see." She made a mental calculation. "I've seen five people die. Six, if you count babies."
"I hadn't seen anyone die when I was
your age."
"You hadn't?
"Only a dog."
"Dogs die easier than people. They don't talk about it beforehand."
"How do you feel about ... people
dying?"
"Well, it isn't nearly so bad as
having babies. That's awful. Or at least it looks awful. But then you remind yourself that it doesn't
hurt at all. They've turned off the
pain."
"Believe it or not," said Will,
"I've never seen a baby being born."
"Never?" Mary Sarojini was astonished. "Not even when you were at school?"
Will had a vision of his headmaster in
full canonicals conducting three-hundred black-coated boys on a tour of the
Lying-In Hospital. "Not even at
school," he said aloud.
"You never saw anybody dying, and
you never saw anybody having a baby. How
did you get to know things?"
"In the school I went
to," he said, "we never got to know things, we only got to know
words."
The child looked up at him, shook her
head and, lifting a small brown hand, significantly tapped her forehead. "Crazy," she said. "Or were your teachers just
stupid?"
Will laughed. "They were high-minded educators
dedicated to mens sana in corpore sano and the maintenance of our
sublime Western Tradition. But meanwhile
tell me something. Weren't you ever
frightened?"
"By people having babies?"
"No, by people dying. Didn't that scare you?"
"Well, yes - it did," she said
after a moment of silence.
"So what did you do about it?"
"I did what they teach you to do -
tried to find out which of me was frightened and why she was frightened."
"And which of you was it?"
"This one." Mary Sarojini pointed a forefinger into her
open mouth. "The one that does all
the talking. Little Miss Gibber - that's
what Vijaya calls her. She's always
talking about all the nasty things I remember, all the huge, wonderful
impossible things I imagine I can do.
She's the one that gets frightened."
"Why is she so frightened?"
"I suppose it's because she gets
talking about all the awful things that might happen to her. Talking out loud or talking to herself. But there's another one who doesn't get
frightened."
"Which one is that?"
"The one that doesn't talk - just
looks and listens and feels what's going on inside. And sometimes," Mary Sarojini added,
"sometimes she suddenly sees how beautiful everything is. No, that's wrong. She sees it all the time, but I
don't - not unless she makes me notice it.
That's when it suddenly happens.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!
Even dogs' messes." She
pointed at a formidable specimen almost at their feet.
From the narrow street they had emerged
into the market place. The last of the
sunlight still touched the sculptured spire of the temple, the little pink gazebos
on the roof of the town hall; but here in the square there was a premonition of
twilight and under the great banyan tree it was already night. On the stalls between its pillars and hanging
ropes the market women had turned on their lights. In the leafy darkness there were islands of
form and colour, and from hardly visible nonentity brown-skinned figures
stepped for a moment into brilliant existence, then back again into
nothingness. The spaces between the tall
buildings echoed with a confusion of English and Palanese, of talk and
laughter, of street cries and whistled tunes, of dogs barking, parrots
screaming. Perched on one of the pink
gazebos, a pair of mynah birds were calling indefatigably for attention and
compassion. From an open-air kitchen at
the centre of the square rose the appetizing smell of food on the fire. Onions, peppers, turmeric, fish frying, cakes
baking, rice on the boil - and through these good gross odours, like a reminder
from the Other Shore, drifted the perfume, thin and sweet and ethereally pure,
of the many-coloured garlands on sale beside the fountain.
Twilight deepened and suddenly, from high
overhead, the arc lamps were turned on.
Bright and burnished against the rosy copper of oiled skin, the women's
necklaces and rings and bracelets came alive with glittering reflections. Seen in the downward-striking light, every
contour became more dramatic, every form seemed to be more substantial, more
solidly there. In eye sockets, under
nose and chin, the shadows deepened.
Modelled by light and darkness young breasts grew fuller and the faces
of the old were more emphatically lined and hollowed.
Hand in hand they made their way through
the crowd.
A middle-aged woman greeted Mary
Sarojini, then turned to Will, "Are you that man from the Outside?"
she asked.
"Almost infinitely from the
outside," he assured her.
She looked at him for a moment in
silence, then smiled encouragingly and patted his cheek.
"We're all very sorry for you,"
she said.
They moved on, and now they were standing
on the fringes of a group assembled at the foot of the temple steps to listen
to a young man who was playing a long-necked lute-like instrument and singing
in Palanese. Rapid declamation
alternated with long-drawn, almost bird-like melismata on a single vowel sound,
and then a cheerful and strongly accented tune that ended in a shout. A roar of laughter went up from the
crowd. A few more bars, another line or
two of recitative and the singer struck his final chord. There was applause and more laughter and a
chorus of incomprehensible commentary.
"What's it all about?" Will
asked.
"It's about girls and boys sleeping
together," Mary Sarojini answered.
"Oh - I see." He felt a pang of guilty embarrassment; but
looking down into the child's untroubled face, he could see that his concern
was uncalled for. It was evident that
boys and girls sleeping together were as completely to be taken for granted as
going to school or eating three meals a day - or dying.
"And the part that made them laugh,"
Mary Sarojini went on, "was where he said the Future Buddha won't have to
leave home and sit under the Bodhi Tree.
He'll have his Enlightenment while he's in bed with the princess."
"Do you think that's a good
idea?" Will asked.
She nodded emphatically. "It would mean that the princess would
be enlightened too."
"You're perfectly right," said
Will. "Being a man, I hadn't
thought of the princess."
The lute player plucked a queer
unfamiliar progression of chords, followed them with a ripple of arpeggios and
began to sing, this time in English.
"Everyone
talks of sex; take none of them seriously
Not whore nor hermit, neither Paul nor
Freud.
Love - and your lips, her breasts will change
mysteriously
Into Themselves, the Suchness and the
Void."
The door
of the temple swung open. A smell of
incense mingled with the ambient onions and fried fish. An old woman emerged and very cautiously
lowered her unsteady weight from stair to stair.
"Who were Paul and Freud?" Mary
Sarojini asked as they moved away.
Will began with a brief account of
Original Sin and the Scheme of Redemption.
The child heard him out with concentrated attention.
"No wonder the song says, Don't take
them seriously," she concluded.
"After which," said Will,
"we come to Dr Freud and the Oedipus Complex."
"Oedipus?" Mary Sarojini repeated. "But that's the name of a marionette
show. I saw it last week, and they're
giving it again tonight. Would you like
to see it? It's nice."
"Nice?" he repeated. "Nice?
Even when the old lady turns out to be his mother and hangs
herself? Even when Oedipus puts out his
eyes?"
"But he doesn't put out his
eyes," said Mary Sarojini.
"He does where I hail
from."
"Not here. He only says he going to put out his eyes,
and she only tries to hang herself.
They're talked out of it."
"Who by?"
"The boy and girl from Pala."
"How do they get into the
act?" Will asked.
"I don't know. They're just there. 'Oedipus in Pala' - that's what the
play is called. So why shouldn't they be
there?"
"And you say they talk Jocasta out
of suicide and Oedipus out of blinding himself?"
"Just in the nick of time. She's slipped the rope round her neck and
he's got hold of two huge pins. But the
boy and girl from Pala tell them not to be silly. After all, it was an accident. He didn't know that the old man was his
father. And anyhow the old man began it,
hit him over the head, and that made Oedipus lose his temper - and nobody had
ever taught him to dance the Rakshasi Hornpipe.
And when they made him a king, he had to marry the old queen. She was really his mother; but neither of
them knew it. And of course all they had
to do when they did find out was just to stop being married. That stuff about marrying his mother being
the reason why everybody had to die of a virus - all that was just nonsense,
just made up by a lot of poor stupid people who didn't know any better."
"Dr Freud thought that all little
boys really want to marry their mothers and kill their fathers. And the other way round for little girls - they
want to marry their fathers."
"Which fathers and mothers?"
Mary Sarojini asked. "We have such
a lot of them."
"You mean, in your Mutual Adoption
Club?"
"There's twenty-two of them in our
MAC."
"Safety in numbers!"
"But of course poor old Oedipus
never had an MAC. And besides they'd
taught him all that horrible stuff about God getting furious with people every
time they made a mistake."
They had pushed their way through the
crowd and now found themselves at the entrance to a small roped-off enclosure,
in which a hundred or more spectators had already taken their seats. At the further end of the enclosure the gaily
painted proscenium of a puppet theatre glowed red and gold in the light of
powerful floodlamps. Pulling out a
handful of the small change with which Dr Robert had provided him, Will paid
for two tickets. They entered and sat
down on a bench.
A gong sounded, the curtain of the little
proscenium noiselessly rose and there, white pillars on a pea-green ground, was
the façade of the royal palace of Thebes with a much-whiskered divinity sitting
in a cloud above the pediment. A priest
exactly like the god, except that he was somewhat smaller and less exuberantly
draped, entered from the right, bowed to the audience, then turned towards the
palace and shouted "Oedipus" in piping tones that seemed comically
incongruous with his prophetic beard. To
a flourish of trumpets the door swung open and, crowned and heroically
buskined, the king appeared. The priest
made obeisance, the royal puppet gave him leave to speak.
"Give ear to our afflictions,"
the old man piped.
The king cocked his head and listened.
"I hear the groans of dying
men," he said. "I hear the shriek
of widows, the sobbing of the motherless, the mutterings of prayer and
supplication."
"Supplication!" said the deity
in the clouds. "That's the
spirit." He patted himself on the
chest.
"They had some kind of a
virus," Mary Sarojini explained in a whisper. "Like Asian flu, only a lot worse."
"We repeat the appropriate
litanies," the old priest querulously piped, "we offer the most
expensive sacrifices, we have the whole population living in chastity and
flagellating itself every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. But the flood of death spreads ever more
widely, rises higher and ever higher. So
help us, King Oedipus, help us."
"Only a god can help."
"Here, here!" shouted the
presiding deity.
"But by what means?"
"Only a god can say."
"Correct," said the god in his basso
profundo, "absolutely correct."
"Creon, my wife's brother, has gone
to consult the oracle. When he returns -
as very soon he must - we shall know what heaven advises."
"What heaven bloody well
commands!" the basso profundo amended.
"Were people really so
silly?" Mary Sarojini asked, as the audience laughed.
"Really and truly," Will
assured her.
A phonograph started to play the Dead
March in Saul.
From left to right a black-robed
procession of mourners carrying sheeted biers passed slowly across the front of
the stage. Puppet after puppet - and as
soon as the group had disappeared on the right it would be brought in again
from the left. The procession seemed
endless, the corpses innumerable.
"Dead," said Oedipus as he
watched them pass. "And another
dead. And yet another, another."
"That'll teach them!" the basso
profundo broke in. "I'll learn
you to be a toad!"
Oedipus continued,
"The
soldier's bier, the whore's; the babe stone-cold
Pressed tot he ache of unsucked breasts; the
youth in horror
Turning away from the black swollen face
That from his moonlit pillow once looked up,
Eager for kisses. Dead, all dead,
Mourned by the soon to die and by the doomed
Bourne with reluctant footing to the abhorred
Garden of cypresses where one huge pit
Yawns to receive them, stinking to the
moon."
While he
was speaking, two new puppets, a boy and a girl in the gayest of Palanese
finery, entered from the right and, moving in the opposite direction to the
black-robed mourners, took their stand arm in arm, downstage and a little left
of centre.
"But we, meanwhile," said the
boy when Oedipus had finished,
"Are bound
for rosier gardens and the absurd
Apocalyptic rite that in the mind
Calls forth from the touched skin and melting
flesh
The immanent Infinite."
"What about me?" the basso
profundo rumbled from the welkin.
"You seem to forget that I'm Wholly Other."
Endlessly the black procession to the
cemetery still shuffled on. But now the
Dead March was interrupted in mid-phrase.
Music gave place to a single deep note - tuba and double bass -
prolonged interminably. The boy in the
foreground held up his hand.
"Listen! The drone, the everlasting burden."
In unison with the unseen instruments the
mourners began to chant. "Death,
death, death, death ..."
"But life knows more than one
note," said the boy.
"Life," the girl chimed in,
"can sing both high and low."
"And your unceasing drone of death
serves only to make a richer music."
"A richer music," the girl
repeated.
And with that, tenor and treble, they
started to vocalize a wandering arabesque of sound wreathed, as it were, about
the long rigid shaft of the ground bass.
The done and the singing diminished
gradually into silence; the last of the mourners disappeared and the boy and
girl in the foreground retired to a corner where they could go on with their
kissing undisturbed.
There was another flourish of trumpets
and, obese in a purple tunic, in came Creon, fresh from Delphi and primed with
oracles. For the next few minutes the
dialogue was all in Palanese, and Mary Sarojini had to act as interpreter.
"Oedipus asks him what God said; and
the other one says that what God said was that it was all because of some man
having killed the old king, the one before Oedipus. Nobody had ever caught him, and the man was
still living in Thebes, and this virus that was killing everybody had been sent
by God - that's what Creon says he was told - as a punishment. I don't know why all these people who hadn't
done anything to anybody had to be punished; but that's what he says God
said. And the virus won't stop till they
catch the man that killed the old king and send him away from Thebes. And of course Oedipus says he's going to do
everything he can to find the man and get rid of him."
From his downstage corner the boy began
to declaim, this time in English.
"God, most
Himself when most sublimely vague,
Talks, when His talk is plain, the
ungodliest bosh.
Repent, He roars, for Sin has caused the
plague.
But we say 'Dirt - so wash.'"
While
the audience was still laughing, another group of mourners emerged from the
wings and slowly crossed the stage.
"Karuna," said the girl
in the foreground, "compassion. The
suffering of the stupid is as real as any other suffering."
Feeling a touch on his arm, Will turned
and found himself looking into the beautiful sulky face of young Murugan.
"I've been hunting for you
everywhere," he said angrily, as though Will had concealed himself on
purpose, just to annoy him. He spoke so
loudly that many heads were turned and there were calls for quiet.
"You weren't at Dr Robert's, you
weren't at Susila's, the boy nagged on, regardless of the protests.
"Quiet, quiet ..."
"Quiet!" came a tremendous
shout from Basso Profundo in the clouds.
"Things have come to a pretty pass," the voice added
grumblingly, "when God simply can't hear himself speak."
"Hear, hear," said Will,
joining in the general laughter. He rose
and, followed by Murugan and Mary Sarojini, hobbled towards the exit.
"Didn't you want to see the
end?" Mary Sarojini asked, and turning to Murugan, "You really might
have waited," she said in a tone of reproof.
"Mind your own business!"
Murugan snapped.
Will laid a hand on the child's
shoulder. "Luckily," he said,
"your account of the end was so vivid that I don't have to see it with my
own eyes. And of course," he added ironically,
"His Highness must always come first."
Murugan pulled an envelope out of the
pocket of those white silk pyjamas which had so bedazzled the little nurse and
handed it to Will. "From my
Mother." And he added, "It's
urgent."
"How good it smells!" Mary
Sarojini commented, sniffing at the rich aura of sandalwood that surrounded the
Rani's missive.
Will unfolded three sheets of heaven-blue
notepaper embossed with five golden lotuses under a princely crown. How many underlinings, what a profusion of
capital letters! He started to read.
"Ma Petite Voix, cher Farnaby,
avait raison - AS USUAL! I had been
TOLD again and again what Our Mutual Friend was predestined to do for poor
little Pala and (through the financial support which Pala will permit him to
contribute to the Crusade of the Spirit) for the WHOLE WORLD. So when I read his cable (which arrived a few
minutes ago, by way of the faithful Bahu and his diplomatic colleague in
London) it came as NO surprise to learn that Lord A has given you Full
Powers (and, it goes without saying, the WHEREWITHAL) to negotiate on his
behalf - on our behalf; for his advantage is also yours, mine and (since
in our different ways we are all Crusaders) the SPIRIT'S!!
But the arrival of Lord A's cable is not
the only piece of new I have to report.
Events (as we learned this afternoon from Bahu) are rushing
towards the Great Turning Point of Palanese History - rushing far more rapidly
than I had previously thought to be possible.
For reasons which are partly political (the need to offset a recent
decline in Colonel D's popularity), partly Economic, (the burdens of Defence
are too onerous to be borne by Rendang alone) and partly Astrological (these
days, say the Experts, are uniquely favourable for a joint venture by
Rams - myself and Murugan - and that typical Scorpion, Colonel D), it
has been decided to precipitate an Action originally planned for the night of
the lunar eclipse next November. This
being so, it is essential that the three of us here should meet without
delay to decide what must be Done, in these new and swiftly changing
Circumstances, to promote our special interests, material and Spiritual. The so-called 'Accident' which brought you to
our shores at this most Critical Moment was, as you must recognize, Manifestly
Providential. It remains for us to
collaborate, as dedicated Crusaders, with that divine POWER which has so
unequivocally espoused our Cause. So
COME AT ONCE! Murugan has the motorcar
and will bring you to our modest Bungalow, where, I assure you, my dear
Farnaby, you will receive a very warm welcome from bien sincèrement
vôtre, Fatima R."
Will
folded up the three odorous sheets of scrawled blue paper and replaced them in
their envelope. His face was
expressionless; but behind this mask of indifference he was violently angry. Angry with this ill-mannered boy before him, so
ravishing in his white silk pyjamas, so odious in his spoiled silliness. Angry, as he caught another whiff of the
letter, with that grotesque monster of a woman, who had begun by ruining her
son in the name of mother love and chastity, and was now egging him on, in the
name of God and an assortment of Ascended Masters, to become a bomb-dropping
spiritual crusader under the oily banner of Joe Aldehyde. Angry, above all, with himself for having so
wantonly become involved with this ludicrously sinister couple, in heaven only
knew what kind of a vile plot against all the human decencies that his refusal
to take yes for an answer had never prevented him from secretly believing in
and (how passionately!) longing for.
"Well, shall we go?" said
Murugan in a tone of airy confidence. He
was evidently assuming as axiomatic that, when Fatima R. issued a command,
obedience must necessarily be complete and unhesitating.
Feeling the need to give himself a little
more time to cool off, Will made no immediate answer. Instead, he turned away to look at the now
distant puppets. Jocasta, Oedipus and
Creon were sitting on the Palace steps, waiting, presumably, for the arrival of
Tiresias. Overhead, Basso Profundo was
momentarily napping. A party of
black-robed mourners was crossing the stage.
Near the footlights the boy from Pala had begun to declaim in blank
verse.
"Light and
Compassion," he was saying,
"Light and
Compassion - how unutterably
Simple our
Substance! But the Simple waited,
Age after age, for
intricacies sufficient
To know their One in
multitude, their Everything
Here, now, their
Fact in fiction; waited and still
Waits on the absurd,
on incommensurables
Seamlessly
interwoven - oestrin with
Charity, truth with
kidney function, beauty
With chyle, bile,
sperm, and God with dinner, God
With dinner's
absence or the sound of bells
Suddenly - one, two,
three - in sleepless ears."
There was a ripple of plucked strings,
then the long-drawn notes of a flute.
"Shall we go?" Murugan
repeated.
But Will held up his hand for
silence. The girl puppet had moved to
the centre of the stage and was singing.
"Thought
is the brain's three milliards
Of cells from the inside out.
Billions of games of billiards
Marked up as Faith and Doubt.
My Faith, but their collisions;
My logic, their enzymes;
Their pink epinephrin, my visions;
Their white epinephrin, my crimes.
Since I am the felt arrangement
Of ten to the ninth times three,
Each atom in its estrangement
Must yet be prophetic of me."
Losing all patience, Murugan caught hold
of Will's arm and gave him a savage pinch.
"Are you coming?" he shouted.
Will turned on him angrily. "What the devil do you think you're
doing, you little fool?" He jerked his
arm out of the boy's grasp.
Intimidated, Murugan changed his
tone. "I just wanted to know if you
were ready to come to my mother's."
"I'm not ready," Will answered,
"because I'm not going."
"Not going?" Murugan cried in a
tone of incredulous amazement. "But
she expects you, she ..."
"Tell your mother I'm very sorry,
but I have a prior engagement. With
someone who's dying," Will added.
"But this is frightfully
important."
"So is dying."
Murugan lowered his voice. "Something's happening," he whispered.
"I can't hear you," Will
shouted through the confused noises of the crowd.
Murugan glanced about him apprehensively,
then risked a somewhat louder whisper.
"Something's happening, something tremendous."
"Something even more tremendous is
happening at the hospital."
"We just heard ..." Murugan
began. He looked around again, then
shook his head. "No, I can't tell
you - not here. That's why you must
come to the bungalow. Now. There's no time to lose."
Will glanced at his watch. "No time to lose," he echoed and,
turning to Mary Sarojini, "We must get going," he said. "Which way?"
"I'll show you," she said, and
they set off hand in hand.
"Wait," Murugan implored,
"wait!" Then, as Will and
Sarojini held on their course, he came dodging through the crowd in
pursuit. "What shall I tell
her?" he wailed at their heels.
The boy's terror was comically
abject. In Will's mind anger gave place
to amusement. He laughed aloud. Then, halting, "What would you
tell her, Mary Sarojini? he asked.
"I'd tell her exactly what
happened," said the child. "I
mean, if it was my mother.
"But then," she added on second thought, "my mother isn't
the Rani." She looked up at
Murugan. "Do you belong to an
MAC?" she inquired.
Of course he didn't. For the Rani the very idea of a Mutual
Adoption Club was a blasphemy. Only God
could make a Mother. The Spiritual
Crusader wanted to be alone with her God-given victim.
"No MAC?" Mary Sarojini shook her head. "That's awful! You might have gone and stayed for a few days
with one of your other mothers."
Still terrified by the prospect of having
to tell his only mother about the failure of his mission, Murugan began to harp
almost hysterically on a new variant of the old theme. "I don't know what she'll say," he
kept on repeating. "I don't know
what she'll say."
"There's only one way to find out
what she'll say," Will told him.
"Go home and listen."
"Come with me," Murugan
begged. "Please." He clutched at Will's arm.
"I told you not to touch
me." The clutching hand was hastily
withdrawn, Will smiled again.
"That's better!" He
raised his staff in a farewell gesture. "Bonne
nuit, Altesse." Then to Mary
Sarojini, "Lead on, MacPhail," he said in high good humour.
"Were you putting it on?" Mary
Sarojini asked. "Or were you really
angry?"
"Really and truly," he assured
her. Then he remembered what he had seen
in the school gymnasium. He hummed the
opening notes of the Rakshasi Hornpipe and banged the pavement with his
ironshod staff.
"Ought I to have stamped it
out?"
"Maybe it would have been
better."
"You think so?"
"He's going to hate you as soon as
he's stopped being frightened."
Will shrugged his shoulders. He couldn't care less. But as the past receded and the future approached,
as they left the arc lamps of the marketplace and climbed the steep dark street
that wound uphill to the hospital, his mood began to change. Lead on MacPhail - but towards what and away
from what? Towards yet another
manifestation of the Essential Horror and away from all hope of that blessed
year of freedom which Joe Aldehyde had promised and that it would be so easy
and (since Pala was doomed in any event)
not so immoral or treacherous to earn.
And not only away from the hope of freedom; away quite possibly if the
Rani complained to Joe and if Joe became sufficiently indignant, from any
further prospects of well-paid slavery as a professional
execution-watcher. Should he turn back,
should he try to find Murugan, offer apologies, do whatever that dreadful woman
ordered him to do? A hundred yards up
the road, the lights of the hospital could be seen shining between the trees.
"Let's rest for a moment," he
said.
"Are you tired?" Mary Sarojini
inquired solicitously.
"A little."
He turned and, leaning on his staff,
looked down at the market place. In the
light of the arc lamps, the town hall glowed pink, like a monumental serving of
raspberry sherbet. On the temple spire
he could see, frieze above frieze, the exuberant chaos of Indic sculpture -
elephants, demons, girls with supernatural breasts and bottoms, capering
Shivas, rows of past and future Buddhas in quiet ecstasy. Below in the space between sherbet and
mythology, seethed the crowd, and somewhere in that crowd was a sulky face and
a pair of white satin pyjamas. Should he
go back? It would be sensible, the safe,
the prudent thing to do. But an inner
voice - not little, like the Rani's, but stentorian - shouted, "Squalid!
Squalid!" Conscience? No.
Morality? Heaven forbid! But supererogatory squalor, ugliness and
vulgarity beyond the call of duty - there were things which, as a man of taste,
one simply couldn't be a party to.
"Well, shall we go on?" he said
to Mary Sarojini.
They entered the lobby of the
hospital. The nurse at the desk had a
message for them from Susila. Mary
Sarojini was to go directly to Mrs Rao's, where she and Tom Krishna would spend
the night. Mr Farnaby was to be asked to
come at once to Room 34.
"This way," said the nurse, and
held open a swing door.
Will stepped forward. The conditioned reflex of politeness clicked
automatically into action. "Thank
you," he said, and smiled. But it
was with a dull, sick feeling in the pit of the stomach that he went hobbling
towards the apprehended future.
"The last door on the left,"
said the nurse. But now she had to get
back to her desk in the lobby. "So
I'll leave you to go on alone," as the door closed behind her.
Alone, he repeated to himself, alone -
and the apprehended future was identical with the haunting past, the Essential
Horror was timeless and ubiquitous. This
long corridor with its green-painted walls was the very same corridor along
which, a year ago, he had walked to the little room where Molly lay dying. The nightmare was recurrent. Foredoomed and conscious, he moved on towards
its horrible consummation. Death, yet
another vision of death.
Thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four ...
He knocked and waited, listening to the beating of his heart. The door opened and he found himself face to face
with little Radha.
"Susila was expecting you," she
whispered.
Will followed her into the room. Rounding a screen, he caught a glimpse of
Susila's profile silhouetted against a lamp, of a high bed, of a dark emaciated
face on the pillow, of arms that were no more than parchment-covered bones, of
claw-like hands. Once again the
Essential Horror. With a shudder he
turned away. Radha motioned him to a
chair near the open window. He sat down
and closed his eyes - closed them physically against the present, but, by that
very act, opened them inwardly upon that hateful past of which the present had
reminded him. He was there in that other
room, with Aunt Mary. Or rather with the
person who had once been Aunt Mary, but was now this hardly recognizable somebody
else - somebody who had never so much as heard of the charity and courage which
had been the very essence of Aunt Mary's being; somebody who was filled with an
indiscriminate hatred for all who came near her, loathing them, whoever they
might be, simply because they didn't have cancer, because they weren't in pain,
had not been sentenced to die before their time. And along with this malignant envy of other
people's health and happiness had gone a bitterly querulous self-pity, an
abject despair.
"Why to me? Why should this thing have happened to
me?"
He could hear the shrill complaining
voice, could see that tearstained and distorted face. The only person he had ever really loved or
wholeheartedly admired. And yet, in her
degradation, he had caught himself despising her - despising, positively
hating.
To escape from the past, he re-opened his
eyes. Radha, he saw, was sitting on the
floor, cross-legged and upright, in the posture of mediation. In her chair beside the bed Susila seemed to
be holding the same kind of focused stillness.
He looked at the face on the pillow.
That too was still, still with a serenity that might almost have been
the frozen calm of death. Outside, in
the leafy darkness, a peacock suddenly screamed. Deepened by contrast, the ensuing silence
seemed to grow pregnant with mysterious and appalling meanings.
"Lakshmi,” Susila laid a hand on the
old woman's wasted arm.
"Lakshmi," she said again more loudly. The death-calm face remained impassive. "You mustn't go to sleep."
Not go to sleep? But for Aunt Mary, sleep - the artificial
sleep that followed the injections - had been the only respite from the
self-lacerations of self-pity and brooding fear.
"Lakshmi!"
The face came to life.
"I wasn't really asleep," the
old woman whispered. "It's just my
being so weak. I seem to float
away."
"But you've got to be here,"
said Susila. "You've got to know
you're here. All the time." She slipped an additional pillow under the
sick woman's shoulders and reached for a bottle of smelling salts that stood on
the red table.
Lakshmi sniffed, opened her eyes and
looked up into Susila's face. "I'd
forgotten how beautiful you were," she said. "But then Dugald always did have good
taste." The ghost of a mischievous
smile appeared for a moment on the fleshless face. "What do you think, Susila?" she
added after a moment and in another tone.
"Shall we see him again? I
mean, over there?"
In
silence Susila stroked the old woman's hand.
Then, suddenly smiling, "How would the Old Raja have asked that
question?" she said. "Do
you think 'we' (quote, unquote) shall see 'him' (quote, unquote) 'over there'
(quote, unquote)."
"But what do you think?"
"I think we've all come out of the same
light, and we're all going back into the same light."
Words, Will was thinking, words, words,
words. With an effort, Lakshmi lifted a
hand and pointed accusingly at the lamp on the bed table.
"It glares in my eyes," she
whispered.
Susila untied the red silk handkerchief
knotted around her throat and draped it over the lamp's parchment shade. From white and mercilessly revealing, the
light became as dimly, warmly rosy as the flush, Will found himself thinking,
on Bab's rumpled bed, whenever Porter's Gin proclaimed itself in crimson.
"That's much better," said
Lakshmi. She shut her eyes. Then, after a long silence, "The
light," she broke out, "the light.
It's here again." Then after
another pause, "Oh, how wonderful," she whispered at last, "how
wonderful!" Suddenly she winced and
bit her lip.
Susila took the old woman's hand in both
of hers. "Is the pain bad?"
she asked.
"It would be bad," Lakshmi
explained, "if it were really my pain. But somehow it isn't. The pain's here; but I'm somewhere else. It's
like you discover with the moksha-medicine. Nothing really belongs to you. Not even your pain."
"Is the light still there?"
Lakshmi shook her head. "And looking back, I can tell you
exactly when it went away. It went away
when I started talking about the pain not being really mine."
"And yet what you were saying was
good."
"I know - but I was saying
it." The ghost of an old habit of
irreverent mischief flitted once again across Lakshmi's face.
"What are you thinking of?"
Susila asked.
"Socrates."
"Socrates?"
"Gibber, gibber, gibber - even when
he'd actually swallowed the stuff. Don't
let me talk, Susila. Help me to get out
of my own light."
"Do you remember that time last
year," Susila began after a silence, "when we all went up to the old
Shiva temple above the High Altitude Station?
You and Robert and Dugald and me and the two children - do you
remember?"
Lakshmi smiled with pleasure at the
recollection.
"I'm thinking specially of that view
from the west side of the temple - the view out over the sea. Blue, green, purple - and the shadows of the
clouds were like ink. And the clouds
themselves - snow, lead, charcoal, satin.
And while we were looking, you asked a question. Do you remember, Lakshmi?"
"You mean about the Clear
Light?"
"About the Clear Light," Susila
confirmed. "Why do people speak of
Mind in terms of Light? Is it because
they've seen the sunshine and found it so beautiful that it seems only natural
to identify the Buddha Nature with the clearest of all possible Clear
Lights? Or do they find the sunshine
beautiful because, consciously or unconsciously, they've been having
revelations of Mind in the form of Light ever since they were born? I was the first to answer," said Susila,
smiling to herself. "And as I'd
just been reading something by some American Behaviourist, I didn't stop to
think - I just gave you the (quote, unquote) 'scientific point of view'. People equate Mind (whatever that may
be) with hallucinations of light, because they've looked at a lot of sunsets
and found them very impressive. But
Robert and Dugald would have none of it.
The Clear Light, they insisted, comes first. You go mad about sunsets because sunsets
remind you of what's always been going on, whether you knew it or not, inside
your skull and outside space and time.
You agreed with them, Lakshmi - do you remember? You said, 'I'd like to be on your side,
Susila, if only because it isn't good for these men of ours to be right all
the time. But in this case - surely it's
pretty obvious - in this case they are right.' Of course they were right, and of course I
was hopelessly wrong. And, needless to
say, you had known the right answer before you ever asked the question."
"I never knew anything,"
Lakshmi whispered. "I could only see."
"I remember your telling me about
seeing the Clear Light," said Susila.
"Would you like me to remind you of it."
The sick woman nodded her head.
"When you were eight years
old," said Susila. "That was
the first time. An orange butterfly on a
leaf, opening and shutting its wings in the sunshine - and suddenly there was
the Clear Light of pure Suchness blazing through it, like another sun."
"Much brighter than the sun,"
Lakshmi whispered.
"But much gentler. You can look into the Clear Light and not be
blinded. And now remember it. A butterfly on a green leaf,, opening and
shutting its wings - and it's the Buddha Nature totally present, it's the Clear
Light outshining the sun. And you were
only eight years old."
"What had I done to deserve
it?"
Will found himself remembering that
evening, a week or so before her death, when Aunt Mary had talked about the
wonderful times they had had together in her little Regency house near Arundel
where he had spent the better part of all his holidays. Smoking out the wasps' nests with fire and
brimstone, having picnics on the downs or under the beeches. And then the sausage rolls at Bognor, the
gypsy fortune teller who had prophesied that he would end up as Chancellor of
the Exchequer, the black-robed, red-nosed verger who had chased them out of
Chichester Cathedral because they laughed too much. "Laughed too much," Aunt Mary had
repeated bitterly. "Laughed
too much ..."
"And now," Susila was saying,
"think of that view from the Shiva temple.
Think of those lights and shadows on the sea, those blue spaces between
the clouds. Think of them, and then let
go of your thinking. Let go of it, so
that the not-Thought can come through.
Things into Emptiness, Emptiness into Suchness. Suchness into things again, into your own
mind. Remember what it says in the
Sutra. 'Your own consciousness shining,
void, inseparable from the great Body of Radiance, is subject neither to birth
nor death, but is the same as the immutable Light, Buddha Amitabha.'"
"The same as the light,"
Lakshmi repeated. "And yet it's all
dark again."
"It's dark because you're trying too
hard," said Susila. "Dark
because you want it to be light.
Remember what you used to tell me when I was a little girl. 'Lightly, child, lightly. You've got to learn to do everything
lightly. Think lightly, act lightly,
feel lightly. Yes, feel lightly, even
though you're feeling deeply. Just
lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.' I was so preposterously serious in those
days, such a humourless little prig.
Lightly, lightly - it was the best advice ever given me. Well, now I'm going to say the same thing to
you, Lakshmi ... Lightly, my darling, lightly.
Even when it comes to dying.
Nothing ponderous, or portentous, or emphatic. No rhetoric, no tremolos, no self-conscious
persona putting on its celebrated imitation of Christ or Goethe or Little
Nell. And of course, no theology, no
metaphysics. Just the fact of dying and
the fact of the Clear Light. So throw
away all your baggage and go forward.
There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck
you down into fear and self-pity and despair.
That's why you most walk so lightly.
Lightly, my darling. On tiptoes;
and no luggage, not even a sponge-bag.
Completely unencumbered."
Completely unencumbered ... Will thought
of poor Aunt Mary sinking deeper and deeper with every step into the
quicksands. Deeper and deeper until,
struggling and protesting to the last, she had gone down, completely and
forever, into the Essential Horror. He
looked again at the fleshless face on the pillow and saw that it was smiling.
"The Light," came the hoarse
whisper, "the Clear Light. It's
here - along with the pain, in spite of the pain."
"And where are you?"
Susila asked.
"Over there, in the
corner." Lakshmi tried to point,
but the raised hand faltered and fell back, inert, on the coverlet. "I can see myself there. And she can see my body on the bed."
"Can she see the Light?"
"No.
The Light's here, where my body is."
The door of the sickroom was quietly
opened. Will turned his head and was in
time to see Dr Robert's small square figure emerging from behind the screen
into the rosy twilight.
Susila rose and motioned him to her place
beside the bed. Dr Robert sat down and,
leaning forward, took his wife's hand in one of his and laid the other on her
forehead.
"It's me," he whispered.
"At last ..."
A tree, he explained, had fallen across
the telephone line. No communication
with the High Altitude Station except by road.
They had sent a messenger in a car, and the car had broken down. More than two hours had been lost. "But thank goodness," Dr Robert
concluded, "here I finally am."
The dying woman sighed profoundly, opened
her eyes for a moment and looked up at him with a smile, then closed them
again. "I knew you'd come."
"Lakshmi," he said very
softly. "Lakshmi." He drew the tips of his fingers across the
wrinkled forehead, again and again.
"My little love." There
were tears on his cheeks; but his voice was firm and he spoke with the
tenderness, not of weakness, but of power.
"I'm not over there any more,"
Lakshmi whispered.
"She was over there in the
corner," Susila explained to her father-in-law. "Looking at her body here on the
bed."
"But now I've come back. Me and the pain, me and the Light, me and you
- all together."
The peacock screamed again and, through
the insect noises that in this tropical night were the equivalent of silence,
far off but clear, came the sound of gay music, flutes and plucked strings and
the steady throbbing of drums."
"Listen," said Dr Robert. "Can you hear it? They're dancing."
"Dancing," Lakshmi
repeated. "Dancing."
"Dancing so lightly," Susila
repeated. "As though they had
wings."
The music swelled up again into audibility.
"It's the Courting Dance,"
Susila went on.
"The Courting Dance. Robert, do you remember?"
"Could I ever forget?"
Yes, Will said to himself, could one ever
forget? Could one ever forget that other
distant music and, near by, unnaturally quick and shallow, the sound of dying
breath in a boy's ears! In the house
across the street somebody was practising one of those Brahms Waltzes that Aunt
Mary had loved to play. One-two and
three and One-two and three and O-o-o-ne two three, One - and One and Two-Three
and One and ... The odious stranger who had once been Aunt Mary stirred out of
the artificial stupor and opened her eyes.
An expression of the most intense malignity had appeared on the yellow,
wasted face. "Go and tell them to
stop," the harsh unrecognizable voice had almost screamed. And then the lines of malignity had changed
into lines of despair, and the stranger, the pitiable odious stranger started
to sob uncontrollably. Those Brahms
Waltzes - they were the pieces, out of all her repertory, that Frank had loved
best.
Another gust of cool air brought with
it a louder strain of the gay, bright music.
"All those young people dancing
together," said Dr Robert, "All that laughter and desire, all that
uncomplicated happiness. It's all here,
like an atmosphere, like a field of force.
Their joy and our love - Susila's love, my love - all working together,
all reinforcing one another. Love and
joy enveloping you, my darling; love and joy carrying you up into the peace of
the Clear Light. Listen to the
music. Can you still hear it,
Lakshmi?"
"She's drifted away again,"
said Susila. "Try to bring her
back."
Dr Robert slipped an arm under the
emaciated body and lifted it into a sitting posture. The head dropped sideways on to his shoulder.
"My little love," he kept
whispering. "My little love
..."
Her eyelids fluttered open for a
moment. "Brighter," came the
barely audible whisper, "brighter."
And a smile of happiness intense almost to the point of elation
transfigured her face.
Through his tears Dr Robert smiled back
at her. "So now you can let go, my
darling." He stroked her grey
hair. "Now you can let go. Let go," he insisted. "Let go of this poor old body. You don't need it any more. Let it fall away from you. Leave it lying here like a pile of worn-out
clothes."
In the fleshless face the mouth had
fallen open, and suddenly the breathing became stertorous.
"My love, my little love ..."
Dr Robert held her more closely.
"Let go now, let go. Leave
it here, your old worn-out body, and go on.
Go on, my darling, go on into the Light, into the peace, into the living
peace of the Clear Light ..."
Susila picked up one of the limp hands
and kissed it, then turned to little Radha.
"Time to go," she whispered,
touching the girl's shoulder.
Interrupted in her meditation, Radha
opened her eyes, nodded and, scrambling to her feet, tiptoed silently towards
the door. Susila beckoned to Will and,
together, they followed her. In silence
the three of them walked along the corridor.
At the swing door Radha took her leave.
"Thank you for letting me be with
you," she whispered.
Susila kissed her. "Thank you for helping to make it
easier for Lakshmi."
Will followed Susila across the lobby and
out into the warm odorous darkness. In
silence they started to walk downhill towards the market-place.
"And now," he said at last,
speaking under a strange compulsion to deny his emotion in a display of the
cheapest kind of cynicism, "I suppose she's trotting off to do a little maithuna
with her boyfriend."
"As a matter of fact," said
Susila calmly, "she's on night duty.
But if she weren't, what would be the objection to her going on from the
yoga of death to the yoga of love?"
Will did not answer immediately. He was thinking of what had happened between
himself and Babs on the evening of Molly's funeral. The yoga of anti-live, the yoga of resented
addiction off lust and the self-loathing that reinforces the self and makes it
yet more loathsome.
"I'm sorry I tried to be
unpleasant," he said at last.
"It's your father's ghost. We'll have to see if we can exorcize
it."
They had crossed the market-place and
now, at the end of the short street that led out of the village, they had come
to the open space where the jeep was parked.
As Susila turned on to the highway, the beam of their headlamps swept
across a small green car that was turning downhill into the by-pass.
"Don't I recognize the royal Baby
Austin?"
"You do," said Susila, and
wondered where the Rani and Murugan could be going at this time of night.
"They're up to no good," Will
guessed. And on a sudden impulse he told
Susila of his roving commission from Joe Aldehyde, his dealings with the Queen
Mother and Mr Bahu.
"You'd be justified in deporting me
tomorrow," he concluded.
"Not now that you've changed your
mind," she assured him. "And
anyhow nothing you did could have affected the real issue. Our enemy is oil in general. Whether we're exploited by South-East Asia
Petroleum or Standard of California makes no difference."
"Did you know that Murugan and the
Rani were conspiring against you?"
"They make no secret of it."
"Then why don't you get rid of
them?"
"Because they would be brought back
immediately by Colonel Dipa. The Rani is
a princess of Rendang. If we expelled
her, it would be a casus belli."
"So what can you do?"
"Try to keep them in order, try to
change their minds, hope for a happy outcome and be prepared for the
worst." Then, after a silence,
"Did Dr Robert say you could have the moksha-medicine?" she
asked, and when Will nodded, "Would you like to try it?"
"Now?"
"Now. That is, if you don't mind being up all night
with it."
"I'd like nothing better."
"You may find that you never liked
anything worse," Susila warned him.
"The moksha-medicine can take you to heaven; but it can also
take you to hell. Or else to both,
together or alternately. Or else (if
you're lucky, or if you've made yourself ready) beyond either of them. And then beyond the beyond, back to where you
started from - back to here, back to New Rothamsted, back to business as
usual. Only now, of course, business as
usual is completely different."
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
One,
two, three, four ... the clock in the kitchen struck twelve. How irrelevantly, seeing that time had ceased
to exist! The absurd, importunate bell
had sounded at the heart of a timelessly present Event, of a Now that changed
incessantly in a dimension, not of seconds and minutes, but of beauty, of
significance, of intensity, of deepening mystery.
"Luminous bliss." From the shallows of his mind the words rose
like bubbles, came to the surface and vanished into the infinite spaces of
living that now pulsed and breathed behind his closed eyelids. "Luminous bliss." That was as near as one could come to
it. But it - this timeless and
yet ever changing Event - was something that words could only caricature and
diminish, never convey. It was
not only bliss, it was also understanding. Understanding of everything, but without
knowledge of anything. Knowledge
involved a knower and all the infinite diversity of known and knowable
things. But here, behind his closed
lids, there was neither spectacle nor spectator. There was only this experienced fact of being
blissfully one with oneness.
In a succession of revelations, the light
grew brighter, the understanding deepened, the bliss became more impossibly,
more unbearably intense. "Dear
God!" he said to himself. "Oh
my dear God." Then, out of another
world, he heard the sound of Susila's voice.
"Do you feel like telling me what's
happening?"
It was a long time before Will answered
her. Speaking was difficult. Not because there was any physical
impediment. It was just that speech seemed
so fatuous, so totally pointless.
"Light," he whispered at last.
"And you're there, looking at the
light?"
"Not looking at it," he
answered after a long reflective pause.
"Being it. Being
it," he repeated emphatically.
Its presence was his absence. William Asquith Farnaby - ultimately and
essentially there was no such person.
Ultimately and essentially there was only a luminous bliss, only a
knowledgeless understanding, only union with unity in a limitless,
undifferentiated awareness. This, self-evidently,
was the mind's natural state. But no
less certainly there had also been that professional execution-watcher, that
self-loathing Babs-addict; there were also three thousand millions of insulated
consciousnesses, each at the centre of a nightmare world, in which it was
impossible for anyone with eyes in his head or a grain of honesty to take yes
for an answer. By what sinister miracle
had the mind's natural state been transformed into all the Devil's islands of
wretchedness and delinquency?
In the firmament of bliss and
understanding, like bats against the sunset, there was a wild criss-crossing of
remembered notions and the hangovers of past feelings. Bat-thoughts of Plotinus and the Gnostics, of
the One and its emanations, down, down into thickening horror. And then bat-feelings of anger and disgust as
the thickening horrors became specific memories of what the essentially
non-existent William Asquith Farnaby had seen and done, inflicted and suffered.
But behind and around and somehow even
within those flickering memories was the firmament of bliss and peace and
understanding. There might be a few bats
in the sunset sky; but the fact remained that the dreadful miracle of creation
had been reversed. From a
praeternaturally wretched and delinquent self he had been unmade into pure
mind, mind in its natural state, limitless, undifferentiated, luminously
blissful, knowledgelessly understanding.
Light here, light now. And because it was infinitely here and now,
there was nobody outside the light to look at the light. The fact was the awareness, the awareness the
fact.
From that other world, somewhere out
there to the right, came the sound once more of Susila's voice.
"Are you feeling happy?" she
asked.
A surge of brighter radiance swept away
all those flickering thoughts and memories.
There was nothing now except a crystalline transparency of bliss.
Without speaking, without opening his
eyes, he smiled and nodded.
"Eckhart called it God," she
went on. "'Felicity so ravishing,
so inconceivably intense that no-one can describe it. And in the midst of it God glows and flames
without ceasing.'"
God glows and flames ... It was so
startlingly, so comically right that Will found himself laughing aloud. "God like a house on fire," he
gasped.
"God-the-fourteenth-of-July."
And he exploded once more into cosmic laughter.
Behind his closed eyelids an ocean of
luminous bliss poured upwards like an inverted cataract. Poured upwards from union into completer
union, from impersonality into a yet more absolute transcendence of selfhood.
"God-the-fourteenth-of-July,"
he repeated and, from the heart of the cataract, gave vent to a final chuckle
of recognition and understanding.
"What about the fifteenth of
July?" Susila questioned.
"What about the morning after?"
"There isn't any morning
after."
She shook her head. "It sounds suspiciously like
Nirvana."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Pure Spirit, one hundred degrees
proof - that's a drink that only the most hardened contemplation-guzzlers
indulge in. Bodhisattvas dilute their
Nirvana with equal parts of love and work."
"This is better," Will
insisted.
"You mean, it's more delicious. That's why it's such an enormous
temptation. The only temptation that God
could succumb to. The fruit of the ignorance
of good and evil. What heavenly
lusciousness, what a super-mango! God
had been stuffing himself with it for billions of years. Then all of a sudden, up comes Homo
sapiens, out pops the knowledge of good and evil. God had to switch to a much less palatable
brand of fruit. You've just eaten a
slice of the original super-mango, so you can sympathize with Him."
A chair creaked, there was a rustle of
skirts, then a series of small busy sounds that he was unable to
interpret. What was she doing? He could have answered that question by
simply opening his eyes. But who cared,
after all, what she might be doing?
Nothing was of any importance except this blazing uprush of bliss and
understanding.
"Super-mango to fruit of knowledge -
I'm going to wean you," she said, "by easy stages."
There was a whirring sound. From the shallows, a bubble of recognition
reached the surface of consciousness.
Susila had been putting a record on the turn-table of a gramophone and
now the machine was in motion.
"Johann Sebastian Bach," he
heard her saying. "The music that's
closest to silence, closest, in spite of its being so highly organized, to
pure, one-hundred-degree proof Spirit."
The whirring gave place to musical
sounds. Another bubble of recognition
came shooting up; he was listening to the Fourth Brandenburg Concerto.
It was the same, of course, as the Fourth
Brandenburg he had listened to so often in the past - the same and yet
completely different. This Allegro - he
knew it by heart. Which meant that he
was in the best possible position to realize that he had never really heard it
before. To begin with, it was no longer
he, William Asquith Farnaby, who was hearing it. The Allegro was revealing itself as an
element in the great present Event, a manifestation at one remove of the
luminous bliss. Or perhaps that was
putting it too mildly. In another
modality this Allegro was the luminous bliss; it was the knowledgeless
understanding of everything apprehended through a particular piece of
knowledge; it was undifferentiated awareness broken up into notes and phrases
and yet still all-comprehendingly itself.
And of course all this belonged to nobody. It was at once in here, out there and
nowhere. The music which, as William
Asquith Farnaby, he had heard a hundred times before, had been reborn as an
unowned awareness. Which was why he was now hearing it for the first time. Unowned, the Fourth Brandenburg had an
intensity of beauty, a depth of intrinsic meaning, incomparably greater than
anything he had ever found in the same music when it was his private property.
"Poor idiot," came up in a
bubble of ironic comment. The poor idiot
hadn't wanted to take yes for an answer in any field but the aesthetic. And all the time he had been denying, by the
mere fact of being himself, all the beauty and meaning he so passionately
longed to say yes to. William Asquith
Farnaby was nothing but a muddy filter, on the hither side of which human
beings, nature and even his beloved art had emerged bedimmed and bemired, less,
other and uglier than themselves.
Tonight, for the first time, his awareness of a piece of music was
completely unobstructed. Between mind
and sound, mind and pattern, mind and significance, there was no longer any
babel of biographical irrelevances to drown the music or make a senseless
discord. Tonight's Fourth Brandenburg
was a pure datum - no, a blessed donum - uncorrupted by the personal
history, the second-hand notions, the ingrained stupidities with which, like
every self, the poor idiot, who wouldn't (and in art plainly couldn't) take yes
for an answer, had overlaid the gifts of immediate experience.
And tonight's Fourth Brandenburg was not
merely an unowned Thing in Itself; it was also, in some impossible way, a
Present Event with an infinite duration.
Or rather (and still more impossibly, seeing that it had three movements
and was being played at its usual speed) it was without duration. The metronome presided over each of its
phrases; but the sum of its phrases was not a span of seconds and minutes. There was a tempo, but not time. So what was there?
"Eternity," Will was forced to
answer. It was one of those metaphysical
dirty words which no decent-minded man would dream of pronouncing even to
himself, much less in public.
"Eternity, my brethren," he said aloud, "Eternity, blah,
blah." The sarcasm, as he might
have known it would, fell completely flat.
Tonight those four syllables were no less concretely significant than
the four letters of the other class of tabooed words. He began to laugh again.
"What's so funny?" she asked.
"Eternity," he answered. "Believe it or not, it's as real as
shit."
"Excellent!" she said
approvingly.
He sat there motionlessly attentive,
following with ear and inward eye the interwoven streams of sound, the
interwoven streams of congruous and equivalent lights, that flowed on
timelessly from one sequence to another.
And every phrase of this well-worn familiar music was an unprecedented
revelation of beauty that went pouring upwards, like a multitudinous fountain,
into another revelation as novel and amazing as itself. Stream within stream - the stream of the solo
violin, the streams of the two recorders, the manifold streams of the
harpsichord and the little orchestra of assorted strings. Separate, distinct, individual - and yet each
of the streams was a function of all the rest, each was itself in virtue of its
relationship to the whole of which it was a component.
"Dear God!" he heard himself
whispering.
In the timeless sequence of change the
recorders were holding a single long-drawn note. A note without upper partials, clear,
pellucid, divinely empty. A note (the
word came bubbling up) of pure contemplation.
And here was another inspirational obscenity that had now acquired a
concrete meaning and might be uttered without a sense of shame. Pure contemplation, unconcerned, beyond
contingency, outside the context of moral judgements. Through the uprushing lights he caught a
glimpse, in memory, of Radha's shining face as she talked of love as
contemplation, of Radha once again, sitting cross-legged, in a focused
intensity of stillness, at the foot of the bed where Lakshmi was dying. This long pure note was the meaning of her
words, the audible expression of her silence.
But always, flowing through and along with the heavenly emptiness of
that contemplative fluting was the rich sound, vibration within passionate
vibration, of the violin. And
surrounding them both - the notes of contemplative detachment and the notes of
passionate involvement -was this network of sharp dry notes plucked from the
wires of the harpsichord. Spirit and
instinct, action and vision - and around them the web of intellect. They were comprehended by discursive thought,
but comprehended, it was obvious, only from the outside, in terms of an order
of experience radically different from that which discursive thinking professes
to explain.
"It's like a Logical
Positivist," he said.
"What is?"
"That harpsichord."
Like a Logical Positivist, he was
thinking in the shallows of his mind, while in the depths the great Event of
light and sound timelessly unfolded.
Like a Logical Positivist talking about Plotinus and Julie de
Lespinasse.
The music changed again, and now it was
the violin that sustained (how passionately!) the long-drawn note of
contemplation, while the two recorders took up the theme of active involvement
and repeated it - the identical form imposed upon another substance - in the
mode of detachment. And here, dancing in
and out between them, was the Logical Positivist, absurd but indispensable,
trying to explain, in a language incommensurable with the facts, what it was
all about.
In the Eternity that was as real as shit,
he went on listening to these interwoven streams of sound, went on looking at
these interwoven streams of light, went on actually being (out there, in
here and nowhere) all that he saw and heard.
And now, abruptly, the character of the light underwent a change. These interwoven streams, which were the
first fluid differentiations of an understanding on the further side of all
particular knowledge, had ceased to be a continuum. Instead, there was, all of a sudden, this
endless succession of separate forms - forms still manifestly charged with the
luminous bliss of undifferentiated being, but limited now, isolated,
individualized. Silver and rose, yellow
and pale green and gentian-blue, an endless succession of luminous spheres came
swimming up from some hidden source of forms and, in time with the music,
purposefully constellated themselves into arrays of unbelievable complexity and
beauty. An inexhaustible fountain that
sprayed out into conscious patternings, into lattices of living stars. And as he looked at them, as he lived their
life and the life of this music that was their equivalent, they went on growing
into other lattices that filled the three dimensions of an inner space and
changed incessantly in another, timeless dimension of quality and significance.
"What are you hearing?" Susila
asked.
"Hearing what I see," he
answered. "And seeing what I
hear."
"And how would you describe
it?"
"What it looks like," Will
answered after a long silence, "what it sounds like, is the creation. Only it's not a one-shot affair. It's non-stop, perpetual creation."
"Perpetual creation out of no-what
nowhere into something somewhere - is that it?"
"That's it."
"You're making progress."
If words had come more easily and, when
spoken, had been a little less pointless, Will would have explained to her that
knowledgeless understanding and luminous bliss were a damn sight better than
even Johann Sebastian Bach.
"Making progress," Susila
repeated. "But you've still got a
long way to go. What about opening your
eyes?"
Will shook his head emphatically.
"It's time you gave yourself a
chance of discovering what's what."
"What's what is this,"
he muttered.
"It isn't," she assured
him. "All you've been seeing and
hearing and being is only the first what. Now you must look at the second one. Look, and then bring the two together into a
single inclusive what's-what. So
open your eyes, Will. Open them
wide."
"All right," he said at last
and reluctantly, with an apprehensive sense of impending misfortune, he opened
his eyes. The inner illumination was
swallowed up in another kind of light.
The fountain of forms, the coloured orbs in their conscious arrays and
purposefully changing lattices gave place to a static composition of uprights
and diagonals, of flat planes and curving cylinders, all carved out of some
material that looked like living agate, and all emerging from a matrix of
living and pulsating mother-of-pearl.
Like a blind man newly healed and confronted for the first time by the
mystery of light and colour, he stared in uncomprehending astonishment. And then, at the end of another twenty
timeless bars of the Fourth Brandenburg, a bubble of explanation rose into
consciousness. He was looking, Will
suddenly perceived, at a small square table, and beyond the table at a
rocking-chair, and beyond the rocking-chair at a blank wall of whitewashed
plaster. The explanation was reassuring;
for in the eternity that he had experienced between the opening of his eyes and
the emergent knowledge of what he was looking at, the mystery confronting him
had deepened from inexplicable beauty to a consummation of shining alienness
that filled him, as he looked, with a kind of metaphysical terror. Well, this terrifying mystery consisted of
nothing but two pieces of furniture and an expanse of wall. The fear was allayed, but the wonder only
increased. How was it possible that
things so familiar and commonplace could be this? Obviously it wasn't possible; and yet there
it was, there it was.
His attention shifted from the
geometrical constructions in brown agate to their pearly background. Its name, he knew, was 'wall'; but in
experienced fact it was a living process, a continuing series of
transubstantiations from plaster and whitewash into the stuff of a supernatural
body - into a god-flesh that kept modulating, as he looked at it, from glory to
glory. Out of what the word-bubbles had
tried to explain away as mere calcimine, some shaping spirit was evoking an
endless succession of the most delicately discriminated hues, at once faint and
intense, that emerged out of latency and went flushing across the god-body's
divinely radiant skin. Wonderful,
wonderful! And there must be other
miracles, new worlds to conquer and be conquered by. He turned his head to the left and there
(appropriate words had bubbled up almost immediately) was the large
marble-topped table at which they had eaten their supper. And now, thick and fast, more bubbles began
to rise. This breathing apocalypse
called 'table' might be thought of as a picture by some mystical cubist, some
inspired Juan Gris with the soul of Traherne and a gift for paining miracles
with conscious gems and the changing moods of water-lily petals.
Turning his head a little further to the
left he was startled by a blaze of jewellery.
And what strange jewellery! Narrow
slabs of emerald and topaz, of ruby and sapphire and lapis lazuli, blazing
away, row above row, like so many bricks in a wall of the New Jerusalem. Then - at the end, not in the beginning -
came the word. In the beginning were the
jewels, the stained-glass windows, the walls of paradise. It was only now, at long last, that the word
'bookcase' presented itself for consideration.
Will raised his eyes from the book-jewels
and found himself at the heart of a tropical landscape. Why?
Where? Then he remembered that,
when (in another life) he first entered the room, he had noticed, over the
bookcase, a large, bad watercolour.
Between sand dunes and clumps of palms a widening estuary receded
towards the open sea, and above the horizon enormous mountains of cloud towered
into a pale sky. "Feeble,"
came bubbling up from the shallows. The
work, only too obviously, of a not very gifted amateur. But that was now beside the point, for the
landscape had ceased to be a painting and was now the subject of the painting
-a real river, real sea, real sand glaring in the sunshine, real trees against
a real sky. Real to the nth, real
to the point of absoluteness. And this
real river mingling with a real sea was his own being engulfed in God. "'God' between quotation marks?"
inquired an ironical bubble. "Or
God (!) in a modernist, Pickwickian sense?" Will shook his head. The answer was just plain God - the God one
couldn't possibly believe in, but who was self-evidently the fact confronting
him. And yet this river was still a
river, this sea the Indian Ocean. Not
something else in fancy dress.
Unequivocally themselves. But at
the same time unequivocally God.
"Where are you now?" Susila
asked.
Without turning his head in her
direction, Will answered, "In heaven, I suppose," and pointed at the
landscape.
"In heaven - still? When are you going to make a landing down
here?"
Another bubble of memory came up from the
silted shallows. "Something far
more deeply interfused. Whose dwelling
is the light of something or other."
"But Wordsworth also talked about
the still, sad music of humanity."
"Luckily," said Will,
"there are no humans in this landscape."
"Not even any animals," she
added with a little laugh.
"Only clouds and the most
deceptively innocent-looking vegetables.
That's why you'd better look at what's on the floor."
Will dropped his eyes. The grain on the floorboards was a brown
river, and the brown river was an eddying, ongoing diagram of the world's
divine life. At the centre of that diagram
was his own right foot, bare under the straps of its sandal, and startlingly
three-dimensional, like the marble foot, revealed by a searchlight, of some
heroic statue. 'Boards', 'grain',
'foot', - through the glib explanatory words the mystery stared back at him,
impenetrable and yet, paradoxically, understood. Understood with that knowledgeless
understanding to which, in spite of sensed objects and remembered names, he was
still open.
Suddenly, out of the tail of his eye, he
caught a glimpse of quick, darting movement.
Openness to bliss and understanding was also, he realized, an openness
to terror, to total incomprehension.
Like some alien creature lodged within his chest and struggling in
anguish, his heart started to beat with a violence that made him tremble. In the hideous certainty that he was about to
meet the Essential Horror, Will turned his head a looked.
"It's one of Tom Krishna's pet
lizards," she said reassuringly.
The light was as bright as ever; but the brightness had changed its sign. A glow of sheer evil radiated from every
grey-green scale of the creature's back, from its obsidian eyes and the pulsing
of its crimson throat, from the armoured edges of its nostrils and its
slit-like mouth. He turned away. In vain.
The Essential Horror glared out of everything he looked at. Those compositions by the mystical Cubist -
they had turned into intricate machines for doing nothing malevolently. That tropical landscape, in which he had
experienced the union of his own being with the being of God - it was now
simultaneously the most nauseating of Victorian oleographs and the actuality of
hell. On their shelves, the rows of
book-jewels beamed with a thousand watts of darkness visible. And how cheap these gems of the abyss had
become, how indescribably vulgar! Where
there had been gold and pearl and precious stones there were only Christmas
tree decorations, only the shallow glare of plastic and varnished tin. Everything still pulsed with life, but with
the life of an infinitely sinister bargain basement. And that, the music now affirmed, that was
what Omnipotence was perpetually creating - a cosmic Woolworth stocked with
mass-produced horrors. Horrors of vulgarity
and horrors of pain, of cruelty and tastelessness, of imbecility and deliberate
malice.
"Not a gecko," he heard Susila
saying, "not one of our nice little house lizards. A hulking stranger from outdoors, one of the
bloodsuckers. Not that they suck blood,
of course. They merely have red throats
and go purple in the face when they get excited. Hence that stupid name. Look! there he goes!"
Will looked down again. Praeternaturally real, the scaly horror with
its black blank eyes, its murderer's mouth, its blood-red throat pumping away
while the rest of the body lay stretched along the floor as still as death, was
now within six inches of his foot.
"He's seen his dinner," said
Susila. "Look over there to your
left, on the edge of the matting."
He turned his head.
"Gongylus gongyloides,"
she went on. "Do you
remember?"
Yes, he remembered. The praying mantis that had settled on his
bed. But that was in another
existence. What he had seen then was
merely a rather odd-looking insect. What
he saw now was a pair of inch-long monsters, exquisitely grisly, in the act of
coupling. Their blueish pallor was
barred and veined with pink, and the wings that fluttered continuously, like
petals in a breeze, were shaded at the edges with deepening violet. A mimicry of flowers. But the insect forms were undisguisable. And now even the flowery colours had
undergone a change. Those quivering
wings were the appendages of two brightly enamelled gadgets in the bargain
basement, two little working models of a nightmare, two miniaturized machines
for copulation. And now one of the
nightmare machines, the female, had turned the small flat head, all mouth and
bulging eyes, at the end of its long neck - had turned it and (dear God!) had
begun to devour the head of the male machine.
First a purple eye was chewed out, then half the blueish face. What was left of the head fell to the
ground. Unrestrained by the weight of
the eyes and jaws, the severed neck waved wildly. The female machine snapped at the oozing
stump, caught it and, while the headless male uninterruptedly kept up his
parody of Ares in the arms of Aphrodite, methodically chewed.
Out of the corner of his eye Will
glimpsed another spurt of movement, turned his head sharply and was in time to
see the lizard crawling toward his foot.
Nearer, nearer. He averted his
eyes in terror. Something touched his
toes and went tickling across his instep.
The tickling ceased; but he could sense a little weight on his foot, a
dry scaly contact. He wanted to scream;
but his voice was gone and, when he tried to move, his muscles refused to obey
him.
Timelessly the music had turned into the
final Presto. Horror briskly on the
march, horror in rococo fancy dress leading the dance.
Utterly still, except for the pulse in
its red throat, the scaly horror on his instep lay staring with expressionless
eyes at its predestined prey.
Interlocked, the two little working models of a nightmare quivered like
wind-blown petals and were shaken spasmodically by the simultaneous agonies of
death and copulation. A timeless century
passed; bar after bar, the gay little dance of death went on and on. Suddenly there was a scrabbling against his
skin of tiny claws. The bloodsucker had
crawled down from his instep to the floor.
For a long life-span it lay there absolutely still. Then, with incredible speed, it darted across
the boards and on to the matting. The
slit-like mouth opened and closed again.
Protruding from between the champing jaws, the edge of a violet-tinted
wing still fluttered, like an orchid petal in the breeze; a pair of legs waved
wildly for a moment, then disappeared from view.
Will shuddered and closed his eyes; but
across the frontier between things sensed and things remembered, things
imagined, the Horror pursued him. In the
fluorescent glare of the inner light an endless column of tin-bright insects
and gleaming reptiles marched up diagonally, from left to right, out of some
hidden source of nightmare towards an unknown and monstrous consummation. Gongylus gongyloides by millions and,
in the midst of them, innumerable bloodsuckers.
Eating and being eaten - for ever.
And all the while - fiddle, flute and
harpsichord - the final Presto of the Fourth Brandenburg kept trotting
timelessly forward. What a jolly little
rococo death-march! Left, right; left,
right ... But what was the word of command for hexapods? And suddenly they weren't hexapods any
longer; they were bipeds. The endless
column of insects had turned abruptly into an endless column of soldiers. Marching as he had seen the Brown Shirts
marching through Berlin, a year before the War.
Thousands upon thousands of them, their banners fluttering, their
uniforms glowing in the infernal brightness like floodlit excrement. Numberless as insects, and each of them
moving with the precision of a machine, the perfect docility of a performing
dog. And the faces, the faces! He had seen the close-ups on the German
newsreels, and here they were again, praeternaturally real and
three-dimensional and alive. The
monstrous face of Hitler with his mouth open, yelling. And then the faces of assorted
listeners. Huge idiot faces, blankly
receptive. Faces of wide-eyed
sleepwalkers. Faces of young Nordic
angels rapt in the Beatific Vision.
Faces of Baroque saints going into ecstasy. Faces of lovers on the brink of orgasm. One Folk, One Realm, One Leader. Union with the unity of an insect swarm. Knowledgeless understanding of nonsense and
diabolism. And then the newsreel camera
had cut back to the serried ranks, the swastikas, the brass bands, the yelling
hypnotist on the rostrum. And here once
again, in the glare of his inner light, was the brown insect-like column,
marching endlessly to the tunes of this rococo horror-music. Onward Nazi soldiers, onward Christian
soldiers, onward Marxists and Muslims, onward every chosen People, every Crusader
and Holy War-maker. Onward into misery,
into all wickedness, into death! And
suddenly Will found himself looking at what the marching column would become
when it had reached its destination - thousands of corpses in the Korean mud,
innumerable packets of garbage littering the African desert. And here (for the scene kept changing with
bewildering rapidity and suddenness), here were the five fly-blown bodies he
had seen only a few months ago, faces upwards and their throats gashed, in the
courtyard of an Algerian farm. Here, out
of a past almost twenty years earlier, was that old woman, dead and stark naked
in the rubble of a stucco house in St John's Wood. And here, without transition, was his own
grey and yellow bedroom, with the reflection in the mirror on the wardrobe draw
of two pale bodies, his and Bab's, frantically coupling to the accompaniment of
his memories of Molly's funeral and the strains from Radio Stuttgart, of the
Good Friday music out of Parsifal.
The scene changed again and, festooned
with tin stars and fairy lamps, Aunt Mary's face smiled at him gaily and then
was transformed before his eyes into the face of the whining malignant stranger
who had taken her place during those last dreadful weeks before the final
transformation into garbage. A radiance
of love and goodness, and then a blind had been drawn, a shutter closed, a key
turned in the lock, and there they were - she in her cemetery and he in his
private prison sentenced to solitary confinement and, one unspecified fine morning,
to death. The Agony in the Bargain
Basement. The Crucifixion among the
Christmas tree decorations. Outside or
in, with the eyes open or with the eyes closed, there was no escape. "No escape," he whispered, and the
words confirmed the fact, transformed it into a hideous certitude that kept
opening out, opening down, into depth below depth of malignant vulgarity, hell
beyond hell of utterly pointless suffering.
And this suffering (it came to him with
the force of a revelation) this suffering was not merely pointless; it was also
cumulative, it was also self-perpetuating.
Surely enough, frightfully enough, as it had come to Molly and Aunt Mary
and all the others, death would come also to him. Would come to him, but never to this fear,
this sickening disgust, these lacerations of remorse and self-loathing. Immortal in its pointlessness, suffering
would go on for ever. In all other
respects one was grotesquely, despicably finite. Not in respect of suffering. This dark little inspissated clot that one
called 'I' was capable of suffering to infinity and, in spite of death, the
suffering would go on for ever. The
pains of living and the pains of dying, the routine of successive agonies in
the bargain basement and the final crucifixion in a blaze of tin and plastic
vulgarity - reverberating, continuously amplified, they would always be
there. And the pains were
incommunicable, the isolation complete.
The awareness that one existed was an awareness that one was always
alone. Just as much alone in Bab's musky
alcove as one had been alone with one's earache or one's broken arm, as one
would be alone with one's final cancer, alone, when one thought it was all
over, with the immortality of suffering.
He was aware, all of a sudden, that
something was happening to the music.
The tempo had changed. Rallentando. It was the end. The end of everything for everyone. The jaunty little death-dance had piped the
marchers on and on to the edge of the cliff.
And now here it was, and they were tottering on the brink. Rallentando, rallentando. The dying fall, the fall into dying. And punctually, inevitably, here were the two
anticipated chords of consummation, the expectant dominant, and then, finis,
the loud unequivocal tonic. There was a
scratching, a sharp click and then silence.
Through the open window he could hear the distant frogs and the shrill
monotonous rasp of insect noises. And
yet in some mysterious way the silence remained unbroken. Like flies in a block of amber, the sounds
were embedded in a transparent soundlessness which they were powerless to
destroy or even modify, and to which they remained completely irrelevant. Timelessly, from intensity to intensity, the
silence deepened. Silence in ambush, a
watching, conspiratorial silence incomparably more sinister than the grisly
little rococo death march which had preceded it. This was the abyss to whose brink the music
had piped him. To the brink, and now
over the brink into this everlasting silence.
"Infinite suffering," he
whispered. "And you can't speak,
you can't even cry out."
A chair creaked, silk rustled, he felt
the wind of movement against his face, the nearness of a human presence. Behind the closed lids he was somehow aware
that Susila was kneeling there in front of him.
An instant later he felt her hands touching his face - the palms against
his cheeks, the fingers on his temples.
The clock in the kitchen made a little
whirring noise, then started to strike the hour. One, two, three, four. Outside in the garden a gusty breeze
whispered intermittently among the leaves.
A cock crowed and a moment later, from a long way off, came an answering
call, and almost simultaneously another and another. Then an answer to the answers, and more
answers in return. A counterpoint of challenges
challenged, of defiances defied. And now
a different kind of voice joined in the chorus.
Articulate but inhuman.
"Attention," it called through the crowing and the insect
noises. "Attention. Attention.
Attention."
"Attention," Susila repeated;
and as she spoke, he felt her fingers starting to move over his forehead. Lightly, lightly from the brows up to the
hair, from either temple to the mid-point between the eyes. Up and down, back and forth, soothing away
the mind's contractions, smoothing out the furrows of bewilderment and
pain. "Attention to this." And she increased the pressure of her palms
against his cheek bones, of her fingertips above his ears. "To this,"
she repeated. "To now. Your face between my two hands." The pressure was relaxed, and the fingers
started to move again across his forehead.
"Attention." Through a ragged counterpoint of crowing the
injunction was insistently repeated.
"Attention. Attention. Atten ...” The inhuman voice broke off in
mid-word.
Attention to her hands on his face? Or attention to this dreadful glare of the
inner light, to the uprush of tin and plastic stars and, through the barrage of
vulgarity, to this packet of garbage that had once been Molly, to the
whorehouse looking-glass, to all those countless corpses in the mud, the dust,
the rubble. And here were the lizards
again and Gongylus gongyloides by the million, here were the marching
columns, the rapt, devoutly listening faces of Nordic angels.
"Attention," the mynah bird
began to call again from the other side of the house. "Attention."
Will shook his head. "Attention to what?"
"To this." And she dug her nails into the skin of his
forehead. "This. Here and now.
And it isn't anything so romantic as suffering, or even pain. It's just the feel of fingernails. And even if it were much worse, it couldn't
possibly be for ever or to infinity.
Nothing is for ever, nothing is to infinity. Except, maybe, the Buddha Nature."
She moved her hands, and the contact was
no longer with nails but with skin. The
fingertips slid down over his brows and, very lightly, came to rest on his
closed eyelids. For the first wincing
moment he was mortally afraid. Was she
preparing to put out his eyes? He sat
there, ready at the first move to throw back his head and jump to his
feet. But nothing happened. Little by little his fears died away; the
awareness of this intimate, unexpected, potentially dangerous contact remained. An awareness so acute and, because his eyes
were supremely vulnerable, so absorbing that he had nothing to spare for the
inner light or the horrors and vulgarities revealed by it.
"Pay attention," she whispered.
But it was impossible not to pay
attention. However, gently and
delicately, her fingers had probed to the very quick of his consciousness. And how intensely alive, he now noticed,
those fingers were! What a strange
tingling warmth flowed out of them!
"It's like an electric
current," he marvelled.
"But luckily," she said,
"the wire carries no messages. One
touches and, in the act of touching, one's touched. Complete communication, but nothing
communicated. Just an exchange of life,
that's all." Then, after a pause,
"Do you realize, Will," she went on, "that in all these hours
we've been sitting here - all these centuries in your case, all these
eternities - you haven't looked at me once?
Not once. Are you afraid of what
you might see?"
He thought over the question and finally
nodded his head. "Maybe that's what
it was," he said. "Afraid of
seeing something I'd have to be involved with, something I might have to do
something about."
"So you stuck to Bach and landscapes
and the Clear Light of the Void."
"Which you wouldn't let me go on
looking at," he complained.
"Because the Void won't do you much
good unless you can see its light in Gongylus gongyloides, And in
people," she added. "Which is
sometimes considerably more difficult."
"Difficult?" He thought of the marching columns, of the
bodies in the mirror, of all those other bodies face downwards in the mud, and
shook his head. "It's
impossible."
"No, not impossible," she
insisted. "Sunyata implies karuna. The Void is light; but it's also
compassion. Greedy contemplatives want
to possess themselves of the light without bothering about compassion. Merely good people try to be compassionate
and refuse to bother about the light. As
usual, it's a question of making the best of both worlds. And now," she added, "it's time for
you to open your eyes and see what a human being really looks like."
The fingertips moved up from his eyelids
to his forehead, moved out to the temples, moved down to the cheeks, to the
corners of the jaw. An instant later he
felt their touch on his own fingers, and she was holding his two hands in hers.
Will opened his eyes and, for the first
time since he had taken the moksha-medicine, found himself looking her
squarely in the face.
"Dear God," he whispered at
last.
Susila laughed. "Is it as bad as the bloodsucker?"
she asked.
But this was not a joking matter. Will shook his head impatiently and went on
looking. The eye sockets were mysterious
with shadow and, except for a little crescent of illumination on the cheek
bone, so was all the right side of her face.
The left side glowed with a living, golden radiance - praeternaturally
bright, but with a brightness that was neither the vulgar and sinister glare of
darkness visible, nor yet that blissful incandescence revealed, in the far-off
dawn of his eternity, behind his closed lids and, when he had opened his eyes,
in the book-jewels, the compositions of the mystical Cubists, the transfigured
landscape. What he was seeing now was
the paradox of opposites indissolubly wedded, of light shining out of darkness,
of darkness at the very heart of light.
"It isn't the sun," he said at
last, "and it isn't Chartres. Nor
the infernal bargain basement, thank God.
It's all of them together. And
you're recognizably you, and I'm recognizably me - though, needless to say,
we're both completely different. You and
me by Rembrandt, but Rembrandt about five thousand times more so." He was silent for a moment; then, nodding his
head in confirmation of what he had just said, "Yes, that's it," he
went on. "Sun into Chartres, and
then stained-glass windows into bargain basement. And the bargain basement is also the torture
chamber, the concentration camp, the charnel house with Christmas tree
decorations. And now the bargain
basement goes into reverse, picks up Chartres and a slice of the sun, and backs
out into this - into you and me by Rembrandt.
Does that make any sense to you?"
"All the sense in the world,"
she assured him.
But Will was too busy looking at her to
be able to pay much attention to what she was saying. "You're so incredibly beautiful,"
he said at last. "But it wouldn't
matter if you were incredibly ugly; you'd still be a
Rembrandt-but-five-thousand-times-more-so.
Beautiful, beautiful," he repeated.
"And yet I don't want to sleep with you. No, that isn't true. I would like to sleep with you. Very much indeed. But it won't make any difference if I never
do. I shall go on loving you - loving
you in the way one's supposed to love people if one's a Christian. Love," he repeated, "love
... It's another of those dirty words.
'In love', 'make love' - those are all right. But plain 'love' - that's an obscenity I
couldn't pronounce. But now, now
..." He smiled and shook his head.
"Believe it or not, now I can understand what it means when they
say, 'God is love'. What manifest
nonsense! And yet it happens to be
true. Meanwhile there's this
extraordinary face of yours." He
leaned forward to look into it more closely.
"As though one were looking into a crystal ball," he added
incredulously. "Something new all
the time. You can't imagine ..."
But she could imagine. "Don't forget," she said,
"I've been there myself."
"Did you look at people's
faces."
She nodded. "At my own in the glass. And of course at Dugald's. Goodness, that last time we took the moksha-medicine
together! He started by looking like a
hero out of some impossible mythology - of Indians in Iceland, of Vikings in
Tibet. And then, without warning, he was
Maitreya Buddha. Obviously,
self-evidently Maitreya Buddha. Such a
radiance! I can still see ..."
She broke off, and suddenly Will found
himself looking at Incarnate Bereavement with seven swords in her heart. Reading the signs of pain in the dark eyes,
about the corners of the full-lipped mouth, he knew that the wound had been
very nearly mortal and, with a pang in his own heart, that it was still open,
still bleeding. He pressed her
hands. There was nothing, of course,
that one could say, no words, no consolations of philosophy - only this shared
mystery of touch, only this communication from skin to skin of a flowing infinity.
"One slips back so easily," she
said at last. "Much too
easily. And much too often." She drew a deep breath and squared her
shoulders.
Before his eyes the face, the whole body,
underwent another change. There was
strength enough, he could see, in that small frame to make head against any
suffering; a will that would be more than a match for all the swords that fate
might stab her with. Almost menacing in
her determined serenity, a dark Circean goddess had taken the place of the
Mater Dolorosa. Memories of that quiet
voice talking so irresistibly about the swans and the cathedral, about the
clouds and the smooth water, came rushing up.
And as he remembered, the face before him seemed to glow with the consciousness
of triumph. Power, intrinsic power - he
saw the expression of it, he sensed its formidable presence and shrank away
from it.
"Who are you?" he
whispered.
She looked at him for a moment without
speaking; then gaily smiling, "Don't be scared," she said. "I'm not the female mantis."
He smiled back at her - smiled back at a
laughing girl with a weakness for kisses and the frankness to invite them.
"Thank the Lord!" he said, and
the love which had shrunk away in fear came flowing back in a tide of
happiness.
"Thank Him for what?"
"For having given you the grace of
sensuality."
She smiled again. "So that cat's out of the
bag."
"All that power," he said,
"all that admirable, terrible will!
You might have been Lucifer. But
fortunately, providentially ..." He disengaged his right hand and with the
tip of its stretched forefinger touched her lips. "The blessed gift of sensuality - it's
been your salvation. Half your
salvation," he qualified, remembering the gruesomely loveless frenzies in
the pink alcove, "one of your salvations. Because, of course, there's this other thing,
this knowing who in fact you are."
He was silent for a moment.
"Mary with swords in her heart," he went on, "and Circe
and Ninon de Lenclos and now - who?
Somebody like Juliana of Norwich or Catherine of Genoa. Are you really
all these people?"
"Plus an idiot," she assured
him. "Plus a rather worried and not
very efficient mother. Plus a bit of the
little prig and daydreamer I was as a child.
Plus, potentially, the old dying woman who looked out at me from the
mirror the last time we took the moksha-medicine together. And then Dugald looked and saw what he
would be like in another forty years.
Less than a month later," she added, "he was dead."
One slips back to easily, one slips back
to often ... Half in mysterious darkness, half mysteriously glowing with golden
light, her face had turned once again into a mask of suffering. Within their shadowy orbits the eyes, he
could see, were closed. She had
retreated into another time and was alone, somewhere else, with the swords and
her open wound. Outside, the cocks were
crowing again, and a second mynah bird had begun to call, half a tone higher
than the first, for compassion.
"Karuna."
"Attention. Attention."
"Karuna."
Will raised his hand once more and touched
her lips. "Do you hear what they're
saying?"
It was a long time before she
answered. Then, raising her hand, she
took hold of his extended finger and pressed it hard against her lower
lip. "Thank you," she said and
opened her eyes again.
"Why thank me? You taught me what to do."
"And now it's you who have to teach
your teacher."
Like a pair of rival gurus each touting
his own brand of spirituality, "Karuna, attention," shouted the mynah
birds; then, as they drowned out one another's wisdom in overlapping
competition, "Runattenshkarattunshon." Proclaiming that he was the never impotent
owner of all females, the invincible challenger of every spurious pretender to
maleness, a cockerel in the next garden shrilly announced his divinity.
A smile broke through the mask of
suffering; from her private world of swords and memory, Susila had returned to
the present.
"Cock-a-doodle-doo," she said.
"How I love him! Just like
Tom Krishna when he goes around asking people to feel his muscles. And those preposterous mynah birds, so
faithfully repeating the good advice they can't understand. They're just as adorable as my little
bantam."
"And what about the other kind of
biped?" he asked. "The less
adorable variety."
For all answer she leaned forward, caught
him by the forelock and, pulling his head down, kissed him on the tip of his
nose. "And now it's time you moved
your legs," she said. Climbing to
her feet, she held out her hand to him.
He took it and she pulled him up from his chair.
"Negative crowing and parroted
anti-wisdom," she said.
"That's what some of the other bipeds go in for."
"What's to guarantee that I shan't
return to my vomit?" he asked.
"You probably will," she
cheerfully assured him. "But you
also probably come back again to this."
There was a spurt of movement at their
feet.
Will laughed. "There goes my poor little scrabbling
incarnation of evil."
She took his arm, and together they
walked over to the open window.
Announcing the near approach of dawn, a little wind fitfully rattled the
palm fronds. Below them, rooted
invisibly in the most acid-smelling earth, was a hibiscus bush - a while
profusion of bright glossy leaves and vermilion trumpets, evoked from the
double darkness of night and overarching trees by a shaft of lamplight from
within the room.
"It isn't possible," he said
incredulously. He was back again with
God-the-fourteenth-of-July.
"It isn't possible," she
agreed. "But like everything else
in the universe, it happens to be a fact.
And now that you've finally recognized my existence, I'll give you leave
to look to your heart's content."
He stood there motionless, gazing, gazing
through a timeless succession of mounting intensities and ever profounder
significances. Tears filled his eyes and
overflowed at last on to his cheeks. He
pulled out his handkerchief and wiped them away.
"I can't help it," he
apologized.
He couldn't help it because there was no
other way in which he could express his thankfulness. Thankfulness for the privilege of being alive
and a witness to this miracle, of being, indeed, more than a witness - a
partner in it, an aspect of it. Thankful
for these gifts of luminous bliss and knowledgeless understanding. Thankfulness for being at once this union
with the divine unity and yet this finite creature among other finite
creatures.
"Why should one cry when one's
grateful?" he said as he put his handkerchief away. "Goodness knows. But one does." A memory bubble popped up from the sludge of
past reading. "'Gratitude is heaven
itself'," he quoted. "Pure
gibberish! But now I see that Blake was
just recording a simple fact. It is
heaven itself."
"And all the more heavenly,"
she said, "for being heaven on earth and not heaven in heaven."
Startlingly, through the crowing and the
croaking, through the insect noises and the duet of the rival gurus, came the
sound of distant musketry.
"What on earth is that?" she
wondered.
"Just the boys playing with
fireworks," he answered gaily.
Susila shook her head. "We don't encourage those kinds of
fireworks. We don't even possess
them."
From the highway beyond the walls of the
compound a roar of heavy vehicles climbing in low gear swelled up louder and
louder. Over the noise, a voice at once
stentorian and squeaky bellowed incomprehensibly through a loudspeaker.
In their setting of velvet shadow the
leaves were like thin shavings of jade and emerald, and from the heart of their
gem-bright chaos fantastically sculptured rubies flared out into five-pointed stars. Gratitude, gratitude. His eyes filled again with tears.
Snatches of the shrill bellowing resolved
themselves into recognizable words.
Against his will, he found himself listening.
"People of Pala," he heard;
then the voice blasted into amplified inarticulateness. Squeak, roar, squeak, and then, "Your
Raja speaking ... remain calm ... welcome your friends from across the Strait
..."
Recognition dawned. "It's Murugan."
"And he's with Dipa's
soldiers."
"Progress," the uncertain
excited voice was saying. "Modern
life ...” And then, moving on from Sears Roebuck to the Rani and Koot Hoomi,
"Truth," it squeaked, "values ... genuine spirituality ...
oil."
"Look," said Susila. "Look!
They're turning into the compound."
Visible in a gap between two clumps of
bamboos, the beams of a process of headlamps shone for a moment on the left
cheek of the great stone Buddha by the lotus pool and passed by, hinted again
at the blessed possibility of liberation and again passed by.
"The throne of my father,"
bawled the gigantically amplified squeak, "joined to the throne of my
mother's ancestors ... Two sister nations marching forward, hand in hand, into
the future ... To be known henceforth as the United Kingdom of Rendang and Pala
... The United Kingdom's first prime minister, that great political and
spiritual leader, Colonel Dipa ..."
The procession of headlamps disappeared
behind a long range of buildings and the shrill bellowing died down into
incoherence. Then the lights re-emerged
and once again the voice became articulate.
"Reactionaries," it was
furiously yelling. "Traitors to the
principle of the permanent revolution ..."
In a tone of horror, "They're
stopping at Dr Robert's bungalow," Susila whispered.
The voice had said its last word, the headlamps
and the roaring motors had been turned off.
In the dark expectant silence the frogs and the insects kept up their
mindless soliloquies, the mynah birds reiterated their good advice. "Attention, Karuna." Will looked down at his burning bush and saw
the Suchness of the world and his own being blazing away with the clear light
that was also (how obviously now!) compassion - the clear light that, like
everyone else, he had always chosen to be blind to, the compassion to which he
had always preferred his tortures, endured or inflicted, in a bargain basement,
his squalid solitudes, with the living Babs or the dying Molly in the
foreground, with Joe Aldehyde in the middle distance and, in the remoter
background, the great world of impersonal forces and proliferating numbers of
collective paranoias, and organized diabolism.
And always, everywhere, there would be the yelling or quietly
authoritative hypnotists; and in the train of the ruling suggestion-givers,
always and everywhere, the tribes of buffoons and hucksters, the professional
liars, the purveyors of entertaining irrelevances. Conditioned from the cradle, unceasingly
distracted, mesmerized systematically, their uniformed victims would go on
obediently marching and counter-marching, go on, always and everywhere, killing
and dying with the perfect docility of trained poodles. And yet in spite of the entirely justified
refusal to take yes for an answer, the fact remained and would remain always,
remain everywhere - the fact that there was this capacity even in a paranoiac
for intelligence, even in a devil-worshipper for love; the fact that the ground
of all being could be totally manifest in a flowering shrub, a human face; the
fact that there was a light and that this light was also compassion.
There was the sound of a single shot;
then a burst of shots from an automatic rifle.
Susila covered her face with her
hands. She was trembling uncontrollably.
He put an arm round her shoulders and
held her close.
The work of a hundred years destroyed in
a single night. And yet the fact
remained - the fact of the ending of sorrow as well as the fact of sorrow.
The starters screeched; engine after
engine roared into action. The headlamps
were turned on and, after a minute of noisy manoeuvring, the cars started to
move slowly back along the road by which they had come.
The loudspeaker brayed out the opening
bars of a martial and at the same time lascivious hymn tune, which Will
recognized as the national anthem of Rendang.
Then the Wurlitzer was switched off, and here once again was Murugan.
"This is your Raja speaking,"
the excited voice proclaimed. After
which, da capo, there was a repetition of the speech about Progress,
Values, Oil, True Spirituality.
Abruptly, as before, the procession disappeared from sight and
hearing. A minute later it was in view
again, with its wobbly counter-tenor bellowing the praises of the newly united
kingdom's first prime minister.
The procession crawled on and now, from
the right this time, the headlamps of the first armoured car lit up the
serenely smiling face of enlightenment.
For an instant only, and then the beam moved on. And here was the Tathagata for the second
time, the third, the fourth, the fifth.
The last of the cars passed by.
Disregarded in the darkness, the fact of enlightenment remained. The roaring of the engines diminished, the
squeaking rhetoric lapsed into an inarticulate murmur, and as the intruding
noises died away, out came the frogs again, out came the uninterruptible
insects, out came the mynah birds.
"Karuna, karuna." And a semitone lower, "Attention."