literary transcript
Aldous Huxley's
THE DOORS OF PERCEPTION
If the doors of perception
were cleansed
everything will appear to man as it is, infinite.
WILLIAM BLAKE
_________________
IT WAS in 1886 that the German
pharmacologist, Ludwig Lewin, published the first systematic
study of the cactus, to which his own name was subsequently given. Anhalonium Lewinii
was new to science. To primitive
religion and the Indians of Mexico and the American Southwest it was a friend
of immemorially long standing. Indeed,
it was much more than a friend. In the
words of one of the early Spanish visitors to the
Why they should have
venerated it as a deity became apparent when such eminent psychologists as Jaensch, Havelock Ellis, and Weir Mitchell began their
experiments with mescalin, the active principle of peyotl. True, they
stopped short at a point well this side of idolatry; but all concurred in
assigning to mescalin a position among drugs of
unique distinction. Administered in
suitable doses, it changes the quality of consciousness more profoundly and yet
is less toxic than any other substance in the pharmacologist's repertory.
Mescalin
research has been going on sporadically ever since the days of Lewin and Havelock Ellis.
Chemists have not merely isolated the alkaloid; they have learned how to
synthesize it, so that the supply no longer depends on the sparse and
intermittent crop of a desert cactus.
Alienists have dosed themselves with mescalin
in the hope thereby of coming to a better, a first-hand understanding of their
patients' mental processes. Working
unfortunately upon too few subjects within too narrow a range of circumstances,
psychologists have observed and catalogues some of the
drug's more striking effects.
Neurologists and physiologists have found out something about the
mechanism of its action upon the central nervous system. And at least one professional philosopher has
taken mescalin for the light it may throw on such
ancient, unsolved riddles as the place of mind in nature and the relationship
between brain and consciousness.
There matters rested
until, two or three years ago [i.e. about 1951-52], a new and perhaps highly
significant fact was observed. [See the following papers: 'Schizophrenia: A New Approach'. By Humphry
Osmond and John Smythies. THE JOURNAL OF MENTAL
SCIENCE. Vol. XCVIII. April 1952. 'On Being Mad'. By Humphrey Osmond. SASKATACHEWAN PSYCHIATRIC SERVICES JOURNAL. Vol. I. No. 2. September 1952. 'The Mescalin Phenomenon'. By John Smythies.
THE BRITISH JOURNAL FOR THE PHILOSOPHY OF SCIENCE. Vol. III.
February 1953. 'Schizophrenia: A New Approach'. By Abram Hoffer, Humphry Osmond, and John Smythies. THE JOURNAL OF MENTAL SCIENCE. Vol. C.
No. 418.
January 1954. Numerous other
papers on the biochemistry, pharmacology, psychology, and neurophysiology of
schizophrenia and the mescalin phenomena are in
preparation.] Actually the fact had been staring everyone
in the face for several decades; but nobody, as it happened, had noticed it
until a young English psychiatrist, at present [i.e. 1954] working in Canada,
was struck by the close similarity, in chemical composition, between mescalin and adrenalin.
Further research revealed that lysergic acid, an extremely potent
hallucinogen derived from ergot, had a structural biochemical relationship to
the others. Then came the discovery that
adrenochrome, which is a product of the decomposition
of adrenalin, can produce many of the symptoms observed in mescalin
intoxication. But adrenochrome
probably occurs spontaneously in the human body. In other words, each one of us may be capable
of manufacturing a chemical, minute doses of which are known to cause profound
changes in consciousness. Certain of
these changes are similar to those which occur in that most characteristic
plague of the twentieth century, schizophrenia.
Is the mental disorder due to a chemical disorder? And is the chemical disorder due, in its
turn, to psychological distresses affecting the adrenals? It would be rash and premature to affirm
it. The most we can say is that some
kind of a prima facie case has been made out. Meanwhile the clue is being systematically
followed, the sleuths - biochemists, psychiatrists, psychologists - are on the
trail.
By a series of, for me,
extremely fortunate circumstances I found myself, in the spring of 1953,
squarely athwart that trail. One of the
sleuths had come on business to
We live together, we
act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are
by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in
hand into the arena; they are crucified alone.
Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies
into a single self-transcendence; in vain.
By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy
in solitude. Sensations,
feelings, insights, fancies - all these are private and, except through
symbols and at second hand, incommunicable.
We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences
themselves. From family to nation, every
human group is a society of island universes.
Most island universes
are sufficiently like one another to permit of inferential understanding or
even of mutual empathy or 'feeling into'.
Thus, remembering our own bereavements and humiliations, we can condole
with others in analogous circumstances, can put ourselves (always, of course,
in a slightly Pickwickian sense) in their
places. But in certain cases
communication between universes is incomplete or even non-existent. The mind is its own place, and the places
inhabited by the insane and the exceptionally gifted are so different from the
places where ordinary men and women live, that there is little or no common
ground of memory to serve as a basis for understanding or fellow feeling. Words are uttered, but fail to
enlighten. The things and events to
which the symbols refer belong to mutually exclusive realms of experience.
To see ourselves as
others see us is a most salutary gift.
Hardly less important is the capacity to see others as they see
themselves. But what if these others
belong to a different species and inhabit a radically alien universe? For example, how can the sane get to know
what it actually feels like to be mad?
Or, short of being born again as a visionary, a medium, or a musical
genius, how can we ever visit the worlds which, to Blake, to Swedenborg, to Johann Sebastian Bach, were home? And how can a man at the extreme limits of ectomorphy and cerebrotonia ever
put himself in the place of one at the limits of endomorphy
and viscerotonia or, except within certain
circumscribed areas, share the feelings of one who stands at the limits of mesomorphy and somatotonia? To the unmitigated behaviourist such
questions, I suppose, are meaningless.
But for those who theoretically believe what in practise they know to be
true - namely, that there is an inside to experience as well as an outside -
the problems posed are real problems, all the more grave for being, some
completely insoluble, some soluble in exceptional circumstances and by methods
not available to everyone. Thus, it
seems virtually certain that I shall never know what it feels like to be Sir
John Falstaff or Joe Louis. On the other
hand, it had always seemed to me possible that, through hypnosis, or example,
or autohypnosis, by means of systematic meditation, or else by taking the
appropriate drug, I might so change my ordinary mode of consciousness as to be
able to know, from the inside, what the visionary, the medium, even the mystic
were talking about.
From what I had read of
the mescalin experience I was convinced in advance
that the drug would admit me, at least for a few hours, into the kind of inner
world described by Blake and A.E. [Pseudonym of the Irish poet
and mystic, George William Russell, 1867-1935 - Editor's note.] But what I had expected
did not happen. I had expected to lie
with my eyes shut, looking at visions of many-coloured geometries, of animated
architectures, rich with gems and fabulously lovely, of landscapes with heroic
figures, of symbolic dramas trembling perpetually on the verge of the ultimate
revelation. But I had not reckoned, it
was evident, with the idiosyncrasies of my mental make-up, the facts of my
temperament, training, and habits.
I am and, for as long
as I can remember, I have always been a poor visualizer. Words, even the pregnant words of poets, do
not evoke pictures in my mind. No hypnagogic visions greet me on the verge of sleep. When I recall something, the memory does not
present itself to me as a vividly seen event or object. By an effort of the will, I can evoke a not
very vivid image of what happened yesterday afternoon, of how the Lungarno used to look before the bridges were destroyed, of
the
The change which
actually took place in that world was in no sense revolutionary. Half an hour after
swallowing the drug I became aware of a slow dance of golden lights. A little later there were sumptuous red
surfaces swelling and expanding from bright nodes of energy that vibrated with
a continuously changing, patterned life.
At another time the closing of my eyes revealed a complex of grey
structures, within which pale bluish spheres kept emerging into intense
solidity and, having emerged, would slide noiselessly upwards, out of
sight. But at no time were there faces
or forms of men or animals. I saw no
landscapes, no enormous spaces, no magical growth and metamorphosis of
buildings, nothing remotely like a drama or a parable. The other world to which mescalin
admitted me was not the world of visions; it existed out there, in what I could
see with my eyes open. The great change
was in the realm of objective fact. What
had happened to my subjective universe was relatively unimportant.
I took my pill at
eleven. An hour and a half later I was
sitting in my study, looking intently at a small glass vase. The vase contained only three flowers - a
full-blown Belle of Portugal rose, shell pink with a hint at every petal's base
of a hotter, flamier hue; a large magenta and
cream-coloured carnation; and, pale purple at the end of its broken stalk, the
bold heraldic blossom of an iris.
Fortuitous and provisional, the little nosegay broke all the rules of
traditional good taste. At breakfast
that morning I had been struck by the lively dissonance of its colours. But that was no longer the point. I was not looking now at an unusual flower
arrangement. I was seeing what Adam had
seen on the morning of his creation - the miracle, moment by moment, of naked
existence.
'Is it agreeable?'
somebody asked. (During this part of the
experiment, all conversations were recorded on a dictating machine, and it has
been possible for me to refresh my memory of what was said.)
'Neither agreeable nor
disagreeable,' I answered. 'It just is.'
Istigkeit
- wasn't that the word Meister Eckhart liked to
use? 'Is-ness'. The Being of Platonic philosophy - except that
Plato seems to have made the enormous, the grotesque mistake of separating
Being from becoming, and identifying it with the mathematical abstraction of
the Idea. He could never, poor fellow,
have seen a bunch of flowers shining with their own inner light and all but
quivering under the pressure of the significance with which they were charged;
could never have perceived that what rose and iris and carnation so intensely
signified was nothing more, and nothing less, than what they were - a
transience that was yet eternal life, a perpetual perishing that was at the
same time pure Being, a bundle of minute, unique particulars in which, by some
unspeakable and yet self-evident paradox, was to be seen the divine source of
all existence.
I continued to look at
the flowers, and in their living light I seemed to detect the qualitative
equivalent of breathing - but of a breathing without
returns to a starting-point, with no recurrent ebbs but only a repeated flow
from beauty to heightened beauty, from deeper to ever deeper meaning. Words like Grace and Transfiguration came to
my mind, and this of course was what, among other things, they stood for. My eyes travelled from the rose to the carnation, and from the feathery incandescence to the smooth
scrolls of sentient amethyst which were the iris. The Beatific Vision, Sat Chit Ananda, Being-Awareness-Bliss - for the first time I
understood, not on the verbal level, not by inchoate hints or at a distance,
but precisely and completely what those prodigious syllables referred to. And then I remembered a passage I had read in
one of Suzuki's essays. 'What is the
Dharma-Body of the Buddha?' (The Dharma-Body
of the Buddha is another way of saying Mind, Suchness,
the Void, the Godhead.) The question is asked in a Zen monastery by
an earnest and bewildered novice. And
with the prompt irrelevance of one of the Marx Brothers, the Master answers,
'The hedge at the bottom of the garden.'
'And the man who realizes this truth,' the novice dubiously enquires,
'what may I ask, is he?' Groucho gives him a whack over the shoulders with his staff
and answers, 'A golden-haired lion.'
It had been, when I
read it, only a vaguely pregnant piece of nonsense. Now it was all as clear as day, as evident as
'What about spatial
relationships?' the investigator inquired, as I was looking at the books.
It was difficult to
answer. True, the perspective looked
rather odd, and the walls of the room no longer seemed to meet in right
angles. But these were not the really
important facts. The really important
facts were that spatial relationships had ceased to matter very much and that
my mind was perceiving the world in terms of other
than spatial categories. At ordinary
times the eye concerns itself with such problems as Where?
- How far? - How situated in relation to what? In the mescalin
experience the implied questions to which the eye responds are of another
order. Place and distance cease to be of
much interest. The mind does it
perceiving in terms of intensity of existence, profundity of significance,
relationships with a pattern. I saw the
books, but was not at all concerned with their positions in space. What I noticed, what impressed itself upon my
mind was the fact that all of them glowed with living light and that in some
the glory was more manifest than in others.
In this context, position and the three dimensions were beside the
point. Not, of course, that the category
of space had been abolished. When I got
up and walked about, I could do so quite normally, without misjudging the whereabouts
of objects. Space was still there; but
it had lost its predominance. The mind
was primarily concerned, not with measures and locations, but with being and
meaning.
And along with
indifference to space there went an even completer indifference to time.
'There seems to be
plenty of it,' was all I would answer when the investigator asked me to say
what I felt about time.
Plenty
of it, but exactly how much was entirely irrelevant. I could, of course, have looked at my watch; but
my watch, I knew, was in another universe.
My actual experience had been, was still, of an indefinite duration or
alternatively of a perpetual present made up of one continually changing
apocalypse.
From the books the
investigator directed my attention to the furniture. A small typing-table stood in the centre of
the room; beyond it, from my point of view, was a wicker chair and beyond that
a desk. The three pieces formed an
intricate pattern of horizontals, uprights, and diagonals - a pattern all the
more interesting for not being interpreted in terms of spatial
relationships. Table, chair, and desk
came together in a composition that was like something by Braque of Juan Gris, a still life recognizably related to the objective
world, but rendered without depth, without any attempt at photographic
realism. I was looking at my furniture,
not as the utilitarian who has to sit on chairs, to write at desks and tables,
and not as the cameraman or scientific recorder, but as the pure aesthete whose
concern is only with forms and their relationships within the field of vision
or the picture space. But as I looked,
this purely aesthetic Cubist's-eye-view gave place to what I can only describe
as the sacramental vision of reality. I
was back where I had been when I was looking at the flowers - back in a world
where everything shone with the Inner Light, and was infinite in its
significance. The legs, for example, of
that chair - how miraculous their tubularity, how
supernatural their polished smoothness!
I spent several minutes - or was it several centuries? - not merely
gazing at those bamboo legs, but actually being them - or rather being
myself in them; or, to be still more accurate (for 'I' was not involved in the
case, nor in a certain sense were 'they') being my Not-self in the Not-self
which was the chair.
Reflecting on my
experience, I find myself agreeing with the eminent Cambridge philosopher, Dr
C.D. Broad, 'that we should do well to consider much more seriously than we
have hitherto been inclined to do the type of theory which Bergson
put forward in connection with memory and sense perception. The suggestion is that the function of the
brain and nervous system and sense organs is in the main eliminative and
not productive. Each person is at each
moment capable of remembering all that has ever happened to him and of
perceiving everything that is happening everywhere in the universe. The function of the brain and nervous system
is to protect us from being overwhelmed and confused by this mass of largely
useless and irrelevant knowledge, by shutting out most of what we should
otherwise perceive or remember at any moment, and leaving only that very small
and special selection which is likely to be practically useful.' According to such a theory, each one of us is
potentially Mind at Large. But insofar
as we are animals, our business is at all costs to survive. To make biological survival possible, Mind at
Large has to be funnelled through the reducing valve of the brain and nervous
system. What comes out at the other end
is a measly trickle of the kind of consciousness which will help us to stay
alive on the surface of this particular planet.
To formulate and express the contents of this reduced awareness, man has
invented and endlessly elaborated those symbol-systems and implicit
philosophies which we call languages.
Every individual is at once the beneficiary and the victim of the
linguistic tradition into which he or she has been born - the beneficiary inasmuch
as language gives access to the accumulated records of other people's
experience, the victim insofar as it confirms him in the belief that reduced
awareness is the only awareness and as it bedevils his sense of reality, so
that he is all too apt to take his concepts for data, his words for actual
things. That which, in the language of
religion, is called 'this world' is the universe of reduced awareness,
expressed and, as it were, petrified by language. The various 'other worlds', with which human
beings erratically make contact are so many elements
in the totality of the awareness belonging to Mind at Large. Most people, most of the time, know only what
comes through the reducing valve and is consecrated as genuinely real by the
local language. Certain persons,
however, seem to be born with a kind of by-pass that circumvents the reducing
valve. In others, temporary by-passes
may be acquired either spontaneously, or as the result of deliberate 'spiritual
exercises', or through hypnosis, or by means of drugs. Through these permanent or temporary
by-passes there flows, not indeed the perception 'of everything that is
happening everywhere in the universe' (for the by-pass does not abolish the
reducing valve, which still excludes the total content of Mind at Large), but
something more than, and above all something different from, the carefully
selected utilitarian material which our narrowed, individual minds regard as a
complete, or at least sufficient, picture of reality.
The brain is provided
with a number of enzyme systems which serve to coordinate its workings. Some of these enzymes regulate the supply of
glucose to the brain cells. Mescalin inhibits the production of these enzymes and thus
lowers the amount of glucose available to an organ that is in constant need of
sugar. When mescalin
reduces the brain's normal ration of sugar, what happens? Too few cases have been observed, and
therefore a comprehensive answer cannot yet be given. But what happens to the majority of the few
who have taken mescalin under supervision can be summarized
as follows.
(1) The ability of remember and to 'think
straight' is little if at all reduced.
(Listening to the recordings of my conversation under the influence of
the drug, I cannot discover that I was then any stupider than I am at ordinary
times.)
(2) Visual impressions
are greatly intensified and the eye recovers some of the perceptual innocence
of childhood, when the sensum was not immediately and
automatically subordinated to the concept.
Interest in space is diminished and interest in time falls almost to
zero.
(3) Though the
intellect remains unimpaired and though perception is enormously improved, the
will suffers a profound change for the worse.
The mescalin taker sees no reason for doing
anything in particular and finds most of the causes for which, at ordinary
times, he was prepared to act and suffer, profoundly uninteresting. He can't be bothered with them, for the good
reason that he has better things to think about.
(4) These better things may be experienced (as I
experienced them) 'out there', or 'in here', or in both
worlds, the inner and the outer, simultaneously or successively. That they are better seems to be
self-evident to all mescalin takers who come to the
drug with a sound liver and an untroubled mind.
These effects of mescalin are the sort of effects you could expect to follow
the administration of a drug having the power to impair the efficiency of the
cerebral reducing valve. When the brain
runs out of sugar, the undernourished ego grows weak, can't be bothered to
undertake the necessary chores, and loses all interest in those spatial and
temporal relationships which mean so much to an organism bent on getting on in
the world. As Mind at Large seeps past
the no-longer-watertight valve, all kinds of biologically useless things start
to happen. In some cases there may be
extrasensory perceptions. Other persons
discover a world of visionary beauty. To
others again is revealed the glory, the infinite value and meaningfulness of
naked existence, of the given, unconceptualized
event. In the final stage of ego-lessness there is an 'obscure knowledge' that All is in all
- that All is actually each. This is as near, I take it, as a finite mind can ever come to
'perceiving everything that is happening everywhere in the universe'.
In this context, how
significant is the enormous heightening, under mescalin,
of the perception of colour! For certain
animals it is biologically very important to be able to distinguish certain
hues. But beyond the limits of their
utilitarian spectrum, most creatures are completely colour
blind. Bees, for example, spend most of
their time 'de-flowering the fresh virgins of the spring'; but, as von Frisch
has shown, they can recognize only a very few colours. Man's highly developed colour sense is a
biological luxury - inestimably precious to him as an intellectual and
spiritual being, but unnecessary to his survival as an animal. To judge by the adjectives which Homer puts
into their mouths, the heroes of the Trojan War hardly excelled the bees in
their capacity to distinguish colours.
In this respect, at least, mankind's advance has been prodigious.
Mescalin
raises all colours to a higher power and makes the percipient aware of
innumerable fine shades of difference, to which, at ordinary times, he is
completely blind. It would seem that,
for Mind at Large, the so-called secondary characters of things are
primary. Unlike Locke, it evidently
feels that colours are more important, better worth attending to than masses,
positions, and dimensions. Like mescalin takers, many mystics perceive supernaturally
brilliant colours, not only with the inward eye, but even in the objective
world around them. Similar reports are
made by psychics and sensitives. There are certain mediums to whom the mescalin taker's brief
revelation is a matter, during long periods, of daily and hourly experience.
From this long but
indispensable excursion into the realm of theory we may now return to the
miraculous facts - four bamboo chair legs in the middle of a room. Like Wordsworth's daffodils, they brought all
manner of wealth - the gift, beyond price, of a new direct insight into the
very Nature of Things, together with a more modest treasure of understanding in
the field, especially, of the arts.
A rose is a rose is a
rose. But these chair legs were chair
legs were St Michael and all angels.
Four or five hours after the event, when the effects of a cerebral sugar
shortage were wearing off, I was taken for a little tour of the city, which
included a visit, towards sundown, to what is modestly claimed to be The
World's Biggest Drug Store. At the Back
of the W.B.D.S., among the toys, the greeting cards, and the comics stood a
row, surprisingly enough, of art books.
I picked up the first volume that came to hand. It was on Van Gogh, and the picture at which
the book opened was The Chair - that astounding portrait of a Ding an
Sich, which the mad painter saw, with a kind of
adoring terror, and tried to render on his canvas. But it was a task to which the power even of
genius proved wholly inadequate. The
chair Van Gogh had seen was obviously the same in essence as the chair I had
seen. But, though
incomparably more real than the chair of ordinary perception, the chair in his
picture remained no more than an unusually expressive symbol of the fact. The fact had been manifested Suchness; this was only an emblem. Such emblems are sources of true knowledge
about the Nature of Things, and this true knowledge may serve to prepare the
mind which accepts it for immediate insights on its own account. But that is all. However expressive, symbols can never be the
things they stand for.
It would be
interesting, in this context, to make a study of the works of art available to
the great knowers of Suchness. What sort of pictures did Eckhart
look at? What sculptures and paintings
played a part in the religious experience of
I returned the Van Gogh
to its rack and picked up the volume standing next to it. It was a book on Botticelli. I turned the pages. The Birth of Venus - never one of my
favourites. Venus and Mars, that
loveliness so passionately denounced by poor Ruskin at the height of his
long-drawn sexual tragedy. The
marvellously rich and intricate Calumny of Apelles. And then a somewhat less
familiar and not very good picture, Judith. My attention was arrested and I gazed in
fascination, not at the pale neurotic heroine or her attendant, not at the
victim's hairy head or the vernal landscape in the background, but at the
purplish silk of Judith's pleated bodice and long wind-blown skirts.
This was something I
had seen before - seen that very morning, between the flowers and the
furniture, when I looked down by chance, and went on passionately staring by
choice, at my own crossed legs. Those
folds in the trousers - what a labyrinth of endlessly significant
complexity! And the texture of the grey
flannel - how rich, how deeply, mysteriously sumptuous! And here they were again, in Botticelli's picture.
Civilized human beings
wear clothes, therefore there can be no portraiture,
no mythological or historical story-telling without representations of folded
textiles. But though it may account for
the origins, mere tailoring can never explain the luxuriant development of
drapery as a major theme of all the plastic arts. Artists, it is obvious, have always loved
drapery for its own sake - or, rather, for their own. When you paint or carve drapery, you are
painting or carving forms which, for all practical purposes, are
non-representational - the kind of unconditioned forms on which artists even in
the most naturalistic tradition like to let themselves go. In the average Madonna or Apostle the
strictly human, fully representational element accounts for about ten per cent
of the whole. All the rest consists of
many coloured variations on the inexhaustible theme of crumpled wool or
linen. And these non-representational
nine-tenths of a Madonna or an Apostle may be just as important qualitatively
as they are in quantity. Very often they
set the tone of the whole work of art, they state the key in which the theme is
being rendered, they express the mood, the temperament, the attitude to life of
the artist. Stoical serenity reveals
itself in the smooth surfaces, the broad untortured
folds of Piero's draperies. Torn between fact and wish, between cynicism
and idealism, Bernini tempers the all but caricatural verisimilitude of his faces with enormous
sartorial abstractions, which are the embodiment, in stone or bronze, of the
everlasting commonplaces of rhetoric - the heroism, the holiness, the sublimity to which mankind perpetually aspires, for the
most part in vain. And here are El
Greco's disquietingly visceral skirts and mantles; here are the sharp, twisting,
flame-like folds in which Cosimo Tura
clothes his figures: in the first, traditional spirituality breaks down into a
nameless physiological yearning; in the second, there writhes an agonized sense
of the world's essential strangeness and hostility. Or consider Watteau;
his men and women play lutes, get ready for balls and harlequinades, embark, on
velvet lawns and under noble trees, for the Cythera
of every lover's dream; their enormous melancholy and the flayed, excruciating
sensibility of their creator find expression, not in the actions recorded, not
in the gestures and the faces portrayed, but in the relief and texture of their
taffeta skirts, their satin capes and doublets.
Not an inch of smooth surface here, not a moment of peace or confidence,
only a silken wilderness of countless tiny pleats and wrinkles, with an
incessant modulation - inner uncertainty rendered with the perfect assurance of
a master hand - of tone into tone, of one indeterminate colour into another. In life, man proposes, God disposes. In the plastic arts the proposing is done by
the subject matter; that which disposes is ultimately the artist's temperament,
proximately (at least in portraiture, history, and genre) the carved or painted
drapery. Between them these two may
decree that a fête galante shall move to
tears, that a crucifixion shall be serene to the point of cheerfulness, that a
stigmatization shall be almost intolerably sexy, that the likeness of a prodigy
of female brainlessness (I am thinking now if Ingres'
incomparable Mme Moitessier) shall express the austerest, the most uncompromising intellectuality.
But this is not the
whole story. Draperies, as I had now
discovered, are much more than devices for the introduction of
non-representational forms into naturalistic paintings and sculptures. What the rest of us see only under the
influence of mescalin, the artist is congenitally
equipped to see all the time. His
perception is not limited to what is biologically or socially useful. A little of the knowledge belonging to Mind
at Large oozes past the reducing valve of brain and ego into his
consciousness. It is a
knowledge of the intrinsic significance of every existent. For the artist as for the mescalin
taker, draperies are living hieroglyphs that stand in some peculiarly
expressive way for the unfathomable mystery of pure being.. More even than the chair,
though less perhaps than those wholly supernatural flowers, the folds of my
grey flannel trousers were charged with 'is-ness'. To what they owed this privileged status, I
cannot say. Is it, perhaps, because the
forms of folded drapery are so strange and dramatic that they catch the eye and
in this way force the miraculous fact of sheer existence upon the attention? Who knows?
What is important is less the reason for the experience than the
experience itself. Poring over Judith's
skirts, there in the World's Biggest Drug Store, I knew that Botticelli - and not Botticelli
alone, but many others too - had looked at draperies with the same transfigured
and transfiguring eyes as had been mine that morning. They had seen the Istigkeit,
the Allness and Infinity of folded cloth and had done
their best to render it in paint or stone.
Necessarily, of course, without success. For the glory and the wonder of pure
existence belong to another order, beyond the powers of even the highest art to
express. But in Judith's skirt I could
see what, if I had been a painter of genius, I might have made of my old grey
flannels. Not much, heaven knows, in
comparison with the reality; but enough to delight generation after generation
of beholders, enough to make them understand at least a little of the true
significance of what, in our pathetic imbecility, we call 'mere things' and
disregard in favour of television.
'This is how one ought
to see,' I kept saying as I looked down at my trousers, or glanced at the
jewelled books in the shelves, at the legs of my infinitely more than Van-Goghian chair. 'This
is how one ought to see, how things really are.' And yet there wee reservations. For if one always saw like this, one would
never want to do anything else. Just
looking, just being the divine Not-self of flower, of book, of chair, of
flannel. That would be enough. But in that case what about other
people? What about human relations? In the recording of that morning's
conversations I find the question constantly repeated 'What about human
relations?' How could one reconcile this
timeless bliss of seeing as one ought to see with the temporal duties of doing
what one ought to do and feeling as one ought to feel? 'One ought to be able,' I said, 'to see these
trousers as infinitely important and human beings as still more infinitely
important.' One ought - but in practice
it seemed to be impossible. This
participation in the manifest glory of things left no room, so to speak, for
the ordinary, the necessary concerns of human existence, above all for concerns
involving persons. For persons are
selves and, in one respect at least, I was not a Not-self, simultaneously perceiving
and being the Not-self of the things around me.
To this new-born Not-self, the behaviour, the appearance, the very
thought of the self it had momentarily ceased to be, and of other selves, its
one-time fellows, seemed not indeed distasteful (for distastefulness was not
one of the categories in terms of which I was thinking), but enormously
irrelevant. Compelled by the
investigator to analyse and report on what I was doing (and how I longed to be
left alone with Eternity in a flower, Infinity in four chair legs, and the
Absolute in the folds of a pair of flannel trousers!) I realized that I was
deliberately avoiding the eyes of those who were with me in the room,
deliberately refraining from being too much aware of them. One was my wife, the other a man I respected
and greatly liked; but both belonged to the world from which, for the moment, mescalin had delivered me - the world of selves, of time,
of moral judgements and utilitarian considerations, the world (and it was this
aspect of human life which I wished, above all else, to forget) of
self-assertion, of cocksureness, of over-valued words, and idolatrously
worshipped notions.
At this stage of the
proceedings I was handed a large coloured reproduction of the well-known
self-portrait by Cézanne - the head and shoulders of a man in a large straw
hat, red-cheeked, red-lipped, with rich black whiskers and a dark unfriendly
eye. It is a magnificent painting; but
it was not as a painting that I now saw it.
For the head promptly took on a third dimension and came to life as a
small goblin-like man looking out through a window in the page before me. I started to laugh. And when they asked me why,
'What pretensions!' I kept repeating.
'Who on earth does he think he is?'
The question was not addressed to Cézanne in particular, but to the
human species at large. Who did they all
think they were?
'It's like Arnold
Bennett in the Dolomites,' I said, suddenly remembering a scene, happily
immortalized in a snapshot of A.B. some four or five years before his death
toddling along a wintry road at Cortina d'Ampezzo. Around
him lay the virgin snow; in the background was a more than gothic aspiration of
red crags. And there was dear, kind,
unhappy A.B. consciously overacting the role of his favourite character in
fiction, himself, the Card in person.
There he went, toddling slowly in the bright Alpine sunshine, his thumbs
in the arm-holes of a yellow waistcoat which bulged, a little lower down, with
the graceful curve of a Regency bow window at Brighton - his head thrown back
as though to aim some stammered utterance, howitzer-like, at the blue dome of
heaven. What he actually said, I have
forgotten; but what his whole manner, air, and posture fairly shouted was, 'I'm
as good as those damned mountains'. And in
some ways, of course, he was infinitely better; but not, as he knew very well,
in the way his favourite character in fiction like to
imagine.
Successfully (whatever
that may mean) or unsuccessfully, we all overact the part of our favourite
character in fiction. And in fact, the
almost infinitely unlikely fact of actually being Cézanne makes no
difference. For the consummate painter,
with his little pipe-line to Mind at Large by-passing the brain-valve and
ego-filter, was also and just as genuinely the whiskered goblin with the
unfriendly eye.
For relief I turned
back to the folds in my trousers. 'This
is how one ought to see,' I repeated yet again.
And I might have added, 'These are the sort of things one ought to look
at.' Things without pretensions,
satisfied to be merely themselves, sufficient in their suchness,
not acting a part, not trying, insanely, to go it alone, in isolation from the
Dharma-Body, in Luciferian defiance of the grace of
God.
'The nearest approach
to this,' I said, 'would be a Vermeer.'
Yes, a Vermeer. For that mysterious artist was trebly gifted
- with the vision that perceives the Dharma-Body as the hedge at the bottom of
the garden, with the talent to render as much of that vision as the limitations
of human capacity permit, and with the prudence to confine himself in his
paintings to the more manageable aspects of reality; for though Vermeer
represented human beings, he was always a painter of still life. Cézanne, who told his female sitters to do
their best to look like apples, tried to paint portraits in the same
spirit. But his pippin-like women are
more nearly related to Plato's Ideas than to the Dharma-Body in the hedge. They are Eternity and Infinity seen, not in
sand or flower, but in the abstractions of some very superior brand of
geometry. Vermeer never asked his girls
to look like applies. On the contrary,
he insisted on their being girls to the very limit - but always with the proviso
that they refrain from behaving girlishly.
They might sit or quietly stand but never giggle, never display
self-consciousness, never say their prayers or pine for absent sweethearts,
never gossip, never gaze enviously at other women's babies, never flirt, never
love nor hate nor work. In the act of
doing any of these things they would doubtless become more intensely
themselves, but would cease, for that very reason, to manifest their divine
essential Not-self. In Blake's phrase,
the doors of Vermeer's perception were only partially cleansed. A single panel had become almost perfectly
transparent; the rest of the door was still muddy. The essential Not-self could be perceived
very clearly in things and in living creatures on the hither side of good and
evil. In human beings it was visible
only when they were in repose, their minds untroubled, their
bodies motionless. In these
circumstances Vermeer could see Suchness in all its
heavenly beauty - could see and, in some small measure, render it in a subtle
and sumptuous still life. Vermeer is
undoubtedly the greatest painter of human still lives. But there have been others, for example
Vermeer's French contemporaries, the Le Nain
brothers. They set out, I suppose, to be
genre painters; but what they actually produced was a series of human still
lives, in which their cleansed perception of the infinite significance of all
things is rendered not, as with Vermeer, by a subtle enrichment of colour and
texture, but by a heightened clarity, an obsessive distinctness of form, within
an austere, almost monochromatic tonality.
In our own day we have had Vuillard, the
painter, at his best, of unforgettably splendid pictures of the Dharma-Body
manifested in a bourgeois bedroom, of the Absolute
blazing away in the midst of some stockbroker's family in a suburban garden,
taking tea.
Ce qui fait l'ancien bandagiste renie
Le comptoir dont le faste alléchait les passants,
C'est son jardin d'Auteuil, ou, veufs de tout encens,
Les Zinnias ont l'air
d'être en tôle vernie.
For Laurent Taillade the spectacle was merely obscene. But if the retired rubber-goods merchant had
sat still enough, Vuillard would have seen in him
only the Dharma-Body, would have painted, in the zinnias, the goldfish pool,
the villa's Moorish tower and Chinese lanterns, a corner of
But meanwhile my
question remained unanswered. How was
this cleansed perception to be reconciled with a proper concern with human
relations, with the necessary chores and duties, to say nothing of charity and
practical compassion? The age-old debate
between the actives and the contemplatives was being renewed - renewed, so far
as I was concerned, with an unprecedented poignancy. For until this morning I had known
contemplation only in its humbler, its more ordinary forms - as discursive
thinking; as a rapt absorption in poetry or painting or music, as a patient
waiting upon those inspirations, without which even the prosiest writer cannot
hope to accomplish anything; as occasional glimpses, in nature, of Wordsworth's
'something far more deeply interfused'; as systematic
silence leading, sometimes, to hints of an 'obscure knowledge'. But now I knew contemplation at its
height. At its
heights, but not yet in its fullness.
For in its fullness the way of Mary includes the way of Martha and
raises it, so to speak, to its own higher power. Mescalin opens up
the way of Mary, but shuts the door on that of Martha. It gives access to contemplation - but to a
contemplation that is incompatible with action and even with the will to
action, the very thought of action. In
the intervals between his revelations the mescalin
taker is apt to feel that, though in one way everything is supremely as it
should be, in another there is something wrong.
His problem is essentially the same as that which confronts the
quietist, the arhat and, on another level, the
landscape painter and the painter of human still lives. Mescalin can never
solve that problem: it can only pose it, apocalyptically, for those to whom it
had never before presented itself. The
full and final solution can be found only by those who are prepared to
implement the right kind of Weltanschauung by
means of the right kind of behaviour and the right kind of constant and
unstrained alertness. Over against the
quietist stands the active-contemplative, the saint, the man who, in Eckhart's phrase, is ready to come down from the seventh
heaven in order to bring a cup of water to his sick brother. Over against the arhat,
retreating from appearances into an entirely transcendental Nirvana, stands the
Bodhisattva, for whom Suchness and the world of
contingencies are one, and for whose boundless compassion every one of those
contingencies is an occasion not only for transfiguring insight, but also for
the most practical charity. And in the
universe of art, over against Vermeer and the other painters of human still
lives, over against the masters of Chinese and Japanese painting, over against
Constable and Turner, against Sisley and Seurat and Cézanne stands the all-inclusive art of
Rembrandt. These are enormous names,
inaccessible eminences. For myself, on
this memorable May morning, I could only be grateful for an experience which
had shown me, more clearly than I have ever seen it before, the true nature of
the challenge and the completely liberating response.
Let me add, before we
leave this subject, that there is no form of contemplation, even the most quietistic, which is without its ethical values. Half at least of all morality is negative and
consists in keeping out of mischief. The
Lord's prayer is less than fifty words long, and six
of those words are devoted to asking God not to lead us into temptation. The one-sided contemplative leaves undone
many things that he ought to do; but to make up for it he refrains from doing a
host of things he ought not to do. The
sum of evil, Pascal remarked, would be much diminished if men could only learn
to sit quietly in their rooms. The
contemplative whose perception has been cleansed does not have to stay in his
room. He can go about his business, so
completely satisfied to see and be a part of
the divine Order of Things that he will never even be tempted to indulge
in what Traherne called 'the dirty Devices of the
world'. When we feel ourselves to be
sole heirs of the universe, when 'the sea flows in our veins ... and the stars
are our jewels', when all things are perceived as infinite and holy, what
motive can we have for covetousness or self-assertion, for the pursuit of power
or the drearier forms of pleasure?
Contemplatives are not likely to become gamblers, or procurers, or
drunkards; they do not as a rule preach intolerance, or make war; do not find
it necessary to rob, swindle, or grind the faces of the poor. And to these enormous negative virtues we may
add another which, though hard to define, is both positive and important. The arhat
and the quietist may not practise contemplation in its fullness; but if they
practise it at all, they may bring back enlightening reports of another, a
transcendent country of the mind; and if they practise it in the height, they
will become conduits through which some beneficent influence can flow out of
that other country into a world of darkened selves, chronically dying for lack
of it.
Meanwhile I had turned,
at the investigator's request, from the portrait of Cézanne to what was going
on, inside my head, when I shut my eyes.
This time, the inscape was curiously unrewarding. The field of vision was filled with brightly
coloured, constantly changing structures that seemed to be made of plastic or
enamelled tin.
'Cheap,' I commented. 'Trivial.
Like things in a Five and Ten.'
And all this shoddiness
existed in a closed, cramped universe.
'It's as though one
were below decks in a ship,' I said. 'A five-and-ten-cent ship.'
And as I looked, it
became very clear that this five-and-ten-cent ship was in some way connected
with human pretensions. This suffocating
interior of a dime-store ship was my own personal self; these gimcrack mobiles
of tin and plastic were my personal contributions to the universe.
I felt the lesson to be
salutary, but was sorry, nonetheless, that it had to be administered at this
moment and in this form. As a rule the mescalin taker discovers an inner world as manifestly a
datum, as self-evidently infinite and holy, as that transfigured outer world
which I had seen with my eyes open. From
the first, my own case had been different.
Mescalin had endowed me temporarily with the
power to see things with my eyes shut; but it could not, or at least on this
occasion did not, reveal an inscape remotely comparable to my flowers or chair
or flannels 'out there'. What it had
allowed me to perceive, inside, was not the Dharma-Body in images, but my own
mind; not archetypal Suchness, but a set of symbols -
in other words, a home-made substitute for Suchness.
Most visualizers are transformed by mescalin
into visionaries. Some of them - and
they are perhaps more numerous than is generally supposed - require no
transformation; they are visionaries all the time. The mental species to which Blake belonged is
fairly widely distributed even in the urban-industrial societies of the present
day. The poet-artist's uniqueness does
not consist in the fact that (to quote from his Descriptive Catalogue)
he actually saw 'those wonderful originals called in the Sacred
Scriptures the Cherubim'. It does not
consist in the fact that 'these wonderful originals seen in my visions were
some of them one hundred feet in height ... all containing mythological and
recondite meaning'. It consists solely
in his ability to render, in words or (somewhat less successfully) in line and
colour, some hint at least of a not excessively uncommon experience. The untalented visionary may perceive an
inner reality no less tremendous, beautiful, and significant than the world
beheld by Blake; but he lacks altogether the ability to express, in literary or
plastic symbols, what he has seen.
From the records of
religion and the surviving monuments of poetry and the plastic arts it is very
plain that, at most times and in most places, men have attached more importance
to the inscape than to objective existents, have felt that what they saw with
their eyes shut possessed a spiritually higher significance than what they saw
with their eyes open. The
reason? Familiarity breeds
contempt, and how to survive is a problem ranging in urgency from the
chronically tedious to the excruciating.
The outer world is what we wake up to every morning of our lives, is the
place where, willy-nilly, we must try to make our living. In the inner world there is neither work nor
monotony. We visit it only in dreams and
musings, and its strangeness is such that we never find the same world on two
successive occasions. What wonder, then,
if human beings in their search for the divine have generally preferred to look
within! Generally, but
not always. In their art no less
than in their religion, the Taoists and the Zen Buddhists looked beyond visions
to the Void, and through the Void at 'the ten thousand things' of objective
reality. Because of their doctrine of
the Word made flesh, Christians should have been able, from the first, to adopt
a similar attitude towards the universe around them. But because of the doctrine of the Fall, they found it very hard to do so. As recently as three hundred years ago an
expression of thorough-going world denial and even world condemnation was both
orthodox and comprehensible. 'We should
feel wonder at nothing at all in Nature, except only the Incarnation of
Christ.' In the seventeenth century, Lalleman's phrase seemed to make sense. Today it has the ring of madness.
In China the rise of
landscape painting to the rank of a major art form took place about a thousand,
in Japan about six hundred, and in Europe about three hundred years ago. The equation of Dharma-Body with hedge was
made by those Zen Masters who wedded Taoist naturalism with Buddhist
transcendentalism. It was, therefore,
only in the
And now someone
produced a phonograph and put a record on the turntable. I listened with pleasure, but experienced
nothing comparable to my seen apocalypses of flowers or flannel. Would a naturally gifted musician hear
the revelations which, for me, had been exclusively visual? It would be interesting to make the
experiment. Meanwhile, though not
transfigured, though retaining its normal quality and intensity, the music
contributed not a little to my understanding of what had happened to me and of
the wider problems which those happenings had raised.
Instrumental music,
oddly enough, left me rather cold.
Mozart's C-minor Piano Concerto was interrupted after the first
movement, and a recording of some madrigals by Gesualdo
took its place.
'These voices,' I said
appreciatively, 'these voices - they're a kind of bridge back to the human
world.'
And a bridge they
remained even while singing the most startlingly chromatic of the mad prince's
compositions. Through the uneven phrases
of the madrigals, the music pursued its course, never sticking to the same key
for two bars together. In Gesualdo, that fantastic character out of a Webster
melodrama, psychological disintegration had exaggerated,
had pushed to the extreme limit, a tendency inherent in modal as opposed to
fully tonal music. The resulting works
sounded as though they might have been written by the late Schönberg.
'And yet,' I felt
myself constrained to say, as I listened to these strange products of a
Counter-Reformation psychosis working upon a late medieval art form, 'and yet
it does not matter that he's all in bits.
The whole is disorganized. But
each individual fragment is in order, is a representative of a Higher Order. The Higher Order prevails even in the
disintegration. The totality is present
even in the broken pieces. More clearly
present, perhaps, than in a completely coherent work. At least you aren't lulled into a sense of
false security by some merely human, merely fabricated order. You have to reply on your immediate
perception of the ultimate order. So in
a certain sense disintegration may have its advantages. But of course it's dangerous, horribly
dangerous. Suppose you couldn't get
back, out of the chaos....'
From Gesualdo's madrigals we jumped, across a gulf of three centuries,
to Alban Berg and the Lyric Suite.
'This,' I announced in
advance, 'is going to be hell.'
But, as it turned out,
I was wrong. Actually the music sounded
rather funny. Dredged up from the
personal subconscious, agony succeeded twelve-tone agony; but what struck me
was only the essential incongruity between a psychological disintegration even
completer than Gesualdo's and the prodigious
resources, in talent and technique, employed in its expression.
'Isn't he sorry for himself!' I commented with a derisive lack of sympathy. And then, 'Katzenmusik
- learned Katzenmusik.' And finally, after a few more minutes of the
anguish, 'Who cares what his feelings are?
Why can't he pay attention to something else?'
As a criticism of what
is undoubtedly a very remarkable work, it was unfair and inadequate - but not,
I think, irrelevant. I cite it for what
it is worth and because that is how, in a state of pure contemplation, I
reacted to the Lyric Suite.
When it was over, the
investigator suggested a walk in the garden.
I was willing; and though my body seemed to have dissociated itself
almost completely from my mind - or, to be more accurate, though my awareness
of the transfigured outer world was no longer accompanied by an awareness of my
physical organism - found myself able to get up, open the french window, and walk out with only a minimum of
hesitation. It was odd,
of course, to feel that 'I' was not the same as these arms and legs 'out
there', as this wholly objective trunk and neck and even head. It was odd; but one soon got used to it. And anyhow the body seemed perfectly well
able to look after itself. In reality,
of course, it always does look after itself.
All that the conscious ego can do is to formulate wishes, which are then
carried out by forces which it controls very little and understands not at
all. When it does anything more - when
it tries too hard, for example, when it worries, when it becomes apprehensive
about the future - it lowers the effectiveness of those forces and may even
cause the devitalized body to fall ill.
In my present state, awareness was not referred to an ego; it was, so to
speak, on its own. This means that the
physiological intelligence controlling the body was also on its own. For the moment that interfering neurotic who,
in waking hours, tries to run the show was blessedly out of the way.
From the french window I walked out under a
kind of pergola covered in part by the climbing rose tree, in part by laths,
one inch wide with half an inch of space between them. The sun was shining and the shadows of the
laths made a zebra-like pattern on the ground and across the seat and back of a
garden chair, which was standing at this end of the pergola. That chair - shall I ever forget it? Where the shadows fell on the canvas
upholstery, stripes of a deep but glowing indigo alternated with stripes of an incandescence so intensely bright that it was hard to
believe that they could be made of anything but blue fire. For what seemed an immensely long time I
gazed without knowing, even without wishing to know, what it was that
confronted me. At any other time I would
have seen a chair barred with alternate light and shade. Today the percept had swallowed up the
concept. I was so completely absorbed in
looking, so thunderstruck by what I actually saw, that I could not be aware of
anything else. Garden furniture, laths,
sunlight, shadow - these were no more than names and notions, mere
verbalizations, for utilitarian or scientific purposes, after the event. The event was this succession of azure
furnace-doors separated by gulfs of unfathomable gentian. It was inexpressibly wonderful, wonderful to
the point, almost, of being terrifying.
And suddenly I had an inkling of what it must feel like to be mad. Schizophrenia has its heavens as well as its
hells and purgatories, I remember what an old friend,
dead these many years, told me about his mad wife. One day in the early stages of the disease,
when she still had her lucid intervals, he had gone to the hospital to talk to
her about their children. She listened
for a time, then cut him short. How could he bear to waste his time on a
couple of absent children, when all that really mattered, here and now, was the
unspeakable beauty of the patterns he made, in his brown tweed jacket, every
time he moved his arms? Alas, this
paradise of cleansed perception, of pure, one-sided contemplation, was not to
endure. The blissful intermissions
became rarer, became briefer, until finally there were no more of them; there
was only horror.
Most takers of mescalin experience only the heavenly part of
schizophrenia. The drug brings hell and
purgatory only to those who have had a recent case of jaundice, or who suffer
from periodical depressions or a chronic anxiety. If, like the other drugs of remotely
comparable power, mescalin were notorious toxic, the
taking of it would be enough, of itself, to cause anxiety. But the reasonably healthy person knows in
advance that, so far as he is concerned, mescalin is
completely innocuous, that its effects will pass off after eight or ten hours,
leaving no hangover and consequently no craving for a renewal of the dose. Fortified by this knowledge, he embarks upon
the experiment without fear - in other words, without any predisposition to
convert an unprecedently strange and other-than-human
experience into something appalling, something actually diabolical.
Confronted by a chair
which looked like the Last Judgement - or, to be more accurate, by a Last
Judgement which, after a long time and with considerable difficulty, I
recognized as a chair - I found myself all at once on the brink of panic. This, I suddenly felt, was going too
far. Too far, even
though the going was into intenser beauty, deeper
significance. The fear, as I
analyse it in retrospect, was of being overwhelmed, of disintegrating under a
pressure of reality greater than a mind accustomed to living most of the time
in a cosy world of symbols could possibly bear.
The literature of religious experience abounds in references to the
pains and terrors overwhelming those who have come, too suddenly, face to face
with some manifestation of the Mysterium tremendum. In
theological language, this fear is due to the incompatibility between man's
egotism and the divine purity, between man's self-aggravated separateness and
the infinity of God. Following Boehme and William Law, we may say that, by unregenerate
souls, the divine Light at its full blaze can be apprehended only as a burning,
purgatorial fire. An almost identical
doctrine is to be found in The Tibetan Book of the Dead, where the
departed soul is described as shrinking in agony from the Clear Light of the
Void, and even from the lesser, tempered Lights, in order to rush headlong into
the comforting darkness of selfhood as a reborn human being, or even as a
beast, an unhappy ghost, a denizen of hell.
Anything rather than the burning brightness of unmitigated Reality -
anything!
The schizophrenic is a
soul not merely unregenerate, but desperately sick into the bargain. His sickness consists in the inability to
take refuge from inner and outer reality (as the sane person habitually does)
in the home-made universe of common sense - the strictly human world of useful
notions, shared symbols, and socially acceptable conventions. The schizophrenic is like a man permanently
under the influence of mescalin, and therefore unable
to shut off the experience of a reality which he is not holy enough to live
with, which he cannot explain away because it is the most stubborn of primary
facts, and which, because it never permits him to look at the world with merely
human eyes, scares him into interpreting its unremitting strangeness, its
burning intensity of significance, as the manifestations of human or even
cosmic malevolence, calling for the most desperate countermeasures, from
murderous violence at one end of the scale to catatonia, or psychological
suicide, at the other. And once embarked
upon the downward, the infernal road, one would never be able to stop. That, now, was only too obvious.
'If you started in the
wrong way,' I said in answer to the investigator's questions, 'everything that
happened would be a proof of the conspiracy against you. It would all be self-validating. You couldn't draw a breath without knowing it
was part of the plot.'
'So you think you know
where madness lies?'
My answer was a
convinced and heartfelt, 'Yes.'
'And you couldn't
control it?'
'No, I couldn't control
it. If one began with fear and hate as
the major premiss, one would have to go on to the
conclusion.'
'Would you be able,' my
wife asked, 'to fix your attention on what The Tibetan Book of the Dead
calls the Clear Light?'
I was doubtful.
'Would it keep the evil
away, if you could hold it? Or would you
not be able to hold it?'
I considered the
question for some time.
'Perhaps,' I answered
at last, 'perhaps I could - but only if there were somebody there to tell me
about the Clear Light. One couldn't do
it by oneself. That's the point, I suppose,
of the Tibetan ritual - someone sitting there all the time and telling you
what's what.'
After listening to the
record of this part of the experiment, I took down my copy of Evans-Wentz's
edition of The Tibetan Book of the Dead, and opened at random. 'O nobly born, let not thy mind be distracted.' That
was the problem - to remain undistracted. Undistracted by the memory of past sins, by imagined pleasure, by the bitter
aftertaste of old wrongs and humiliations, by all the fears and hates and
cravings that ordinarily eclipse the Light. What those Buddhist monks did for the dying
and the dead, might not the modern psychiatrist do for the insane? Let there be a voice to assure them, by day
and even while they are asleep, that in spite of all the terror, all the
bewilderment and confusion, the ultimate Reality remains unshakeably itself and
is of the same substance as the inner light of even the most cruelly tormented
mind. By means of such devices as
recorders, clock-controlled switches, public address systems, and pillow
speakers it should be very easy to keep the inmates of even an understaffed
institution constantly reminded of this primordial fact. Perhaps a few of the lost souls might in this
way be helped to win some measure of control over the universe - at once
beautiful and appalling, but always other than human, always totally
incomprehensible - in which they find themselves condemned to live.
None too soon, I was
steered away from the disquieting splendours of my garden chair. Drooping in green parabolas from the hedge,
the ivy fronds shone with a kind of glassy, jade-like radiance. A moment later a clump of Red Hot Pokers, in
full bloom, had exploded into my field of vision. So passionately alive that they seemed to be
standing on the very brink of utterance, the flowers strained upwards into the
blue. Like the chair under the laths,
they protested too much. I looked down
at the leaves and discovered a cavernous intricacy of the most delicate green
lights and shadows, pulsing with indecipherable mystery.
Roses:
The flowers are easy to paint,
The leaves difficult.
Shiki'a haiku (which I quote in F.H. Blyth's
translation) expresses, by indirection, exactly what I then felt - the
excessive, the too obvious glory of the flowers, as contrasted with the subtler
miracle of their foliage.
We walked out into the
street. A large pale blue automobile was
standing at the kerb. At the sight of
it, I was suddenly overcome by enormous merriment. What complacency, what an absurd
self-satisfaction beamed from those bulging surfaces of glossiest enamel! Man had created the thing in his own image -
or rather in the image of his favourite character in fiction. I laughed till the tears ran down my cheeks.
We re-entered the
house. A meal had been prepared. Somebody, who was not yet identical with myself, fell to with ravenous appetite. From a considerable distance and without much
interest, I looked on.
When the meal had been
eaten, we got into the car and went for a drive. The effects of the mescalin
were already on the decline: but the flowers in the garden still trembled on
the brink of being supernatural, the pepper trees and carobs along the side
streets still manifestly belonged to some sacred grove.
The
We drove on, and so
long as we remained in the hills, with view succeeding distant view,
significance was at its everyday level, well below transfiguration point. The magic began to work again only when we
turned down into a new suburb and were gliding between two rows of houses. Here, in spite of the peculiar hideousness of
the architecture, there were renewals of transcendental otherness, hints of the
morning's heaven. Brick chimneys and
green composition roofs glowed in the sunshine, like fragments of the New
Jerusalem. And all at once I saw what Guardi had seen and (with what incomparable skill!) had so
often rendered in his paintings - a stucco wall with a shadow slanting across
it, blank but unforgettably beautiful, empty but charged with all the meaning
and mystery of existence. The Revelation
dawned and was gone again within a fraction of a second. The car had moved on; time was uncovering
another manifestation of the eternal Suchness. 'Within sameness there is difference. But that difference should be different from
sameness is in no wise the intention of all the Buddhas. Their intention is both totality and
differentiation.' This bank of red and
white geraniums, for example - it was entirely different from that stucco wall
a hundred yards up the road. But the
'is-ness' of both was the same, the eternal quality of
their transience was the same.
An hour later, with ten
more miles and the visit to the World's Biggest Drug Store safely behind us, we
were back at home, and I had returned to that reassuring but profoundly unsatisfactory
state known as 'being in one's right mind'.
That humanity at large will ever be able to dispense with
Artificial Paradises seems very unlikely.
Most men and women lead lives at the worst so painful, at the best so
monotonous, poor, and limited that the urge to escape, the longing to transcend
themselves if only for a few moments, is and has always been one of the
principal appetites of the soul. Art and
religion, carnivals and saturnalia, dancing and listening to oratory - all
these have served, in H.G. Well's phrase, as Doors in the Wall. And for the private, for everyday use there
have always been chemical intoxicants.
All the vegetable sedatives and narcotics, all the euphorics
that grow on trees, the hallucinogens that ripen in berries or can be squeezed
from roots - all, without exception, have been known and systematically used by
human beings from time immemorial. And
to these natural modifiers of consciousness modern science has added its quota
of synthetics - chloral, for example, and benzedrine,
the bromides, and the barbiturates.
Most of these modifiers
of consciousness cannot now be taken except under doctor's orders, or else
illegally and at considerable risk. For
unrestricted use the West has permitted only alcohol and tobacco. All the other chemical Doors in the Wall are
labelled Dope, and their unauthorized takers are Fiends.
We now spend a good
deal more on drink and smoke than we spend on education. This, of course, is not surprising. The urge to escape from selfhood and the
environment is in almost everyone almost all the time. The urge to do something for the young is
strong only in parents, and in them only for the few years during which their
children go to school. Equally
unsurprising is the current attitude towards drink and smoke. In spite of the growing army of hopeless
alcoholics, in spite of the hundreds of thousands of persons annually maimed or
killed by drunken drivers, popular comedians still crack jokes about alcohol
and its addicts. And in spite of the evidence
linking cigarettes with lung cancer, practically everybody regards tobacco
smoking as being hardly less normal and natural than eating. From the point of view of the rationalist
utilitarian this may seem odd. For the
historian, it is exactly what you would expect.
A firm conviction of the material reality of Hell never prevented
medieval Christians from doing what their ambition, lust, or covetousness
suggested. Lung cancer, traffic
accidents, and the millions of miserable and misery-creating alcoholics are
facts even more certain than was, in Dante's day, the fact of the Inferno. But all such facts are remote and
insubstantial compared with the near, felt fact of a craving, here and now, for
release or sedation, for a drink or a smoke.
Ours is the age, among
other things, of the automobile and of rocketing population. Alcohol is incompatible with safety on the
roads, and its production, like that of tobacco, condemns to virtual sterility
many millions of acres of the most fertile soil. The problems raised by alcohol and tobacco
cannot, it goes without saying, be solved by prohibition. The universal and ever-present urge to
self-transcendence is not to be abolished by slamming the currently popular
Doors in the Wall. The only reasonable
policy is to open other, better doors in the hope of inducing men and women to
exchange their old bad habits for new and less harmful ones. Some of these other, better doors will be
social and technological in nature, others religious or psychological, others dietetic,
educational, athletic. But the needs for
frequent chemical vacations from intolerable selfhood and repulsive
surroundings will undoubtedly remain.
What is needed is a new drug which will relieve and console our
suffering species without doing more harm in the long run than it does good in the short.
Such a drug must be potent in minute doses and synthesizable. If it does not possess these qualities, its
production, like that of wine, beer, spirits, and tobacco will interfere with
the raising of indispensable food and fibres.
It must be less toxic than opium or cocaine, less likely to produce
undesirable social consequences than alcohol or the barbiturates, less inimical
to heart and lungs than the tars and nicotine of cigarettes. And, on the positive side, it should produce
changes in consciousness more interesting, more intrinsically valuable than
mere sedation or dreaminess, delusions of omnipotence, or release from
inhibition.
To most people, mescalin is almost completely innocuous. Unlike alcohol, it does not drive the taker
into the kind of uninhibited action which results in brawls, crimes of
violence, and traffic accidents. A man
under the influence of mescalin quietly minds his own
business. Moreover, the business he
minds is an experience of the most enlightening kind, which does not have to be
paid for (and this is surely important) by a compensatory hangover. Of the long-range consequences of regular mescalin taking we know very little. The Indians who consume peyote buttons do not
seem to be physically or morally degraded by the habit. However, the available evidence is still
scarce and sketchy. [In his
monograph, 'Menomini Peyotism',
published (December 1952) in the TRANSACTIONS of the American Philosophical
Society, Professor J.S. Slotkin has written that 'the
habitual use of Peyote does not seem to produce any increased tolerance or
dependence. I know many people who have
been Peyotists for forty to fifty years. The amount of Peyote they use depends upon
the solemnity of the occasion; in general they do not take any more Peyote now
than they did years ago. Also, there is
sometimes an interval of a month or more between rites, and they go without
Peyote during this period without feeling any craving for it. Personally, even after a series of rites
occurring on four successive weekends, I neither increased the amount of Peyote
consumed nor felt any continued need for it.'
It is evidently with good reason that 'Peyote has never been legally
declared a narcotic, or its use prohibited by the federal government.' However, 'during the long history of
Indian-white contact, white officials have usually tried to suppress the use of
Peyote, because its has been conceived to violate
their own mores. But these attempts have
always failed.' In a footnote Dr Slotkin adds that 'it is amazing to hear the fantastic
stories about the effects of Peyote and the nature of the ritual, which are
told by the white and Catholic Indian officials in the Menomini
Reservation. None of them have had the slightest first-hand experience with the
plant or with the religion, yet some fancy themselves to be authorities and
write official reports on the subject.']
Although obviously
superior to cocaine, opium, alcohol, and tobacco, mescalin
is not yet the ideal drug. Along with
the happily transfigured majority of mescalin takers
there is a minority that finds in the drug only hell or purgatory. Moreover, for a drug that is to be used, like
alcohol, for general consumption, its effects last for an inconveniently long
time. But chemistry and physiology are
capable nowadays of practically anything.
If the psychologists and sociologists will define the ideal, the neurologists
and pharmacologists can be relied upon to discover the means whereby that ideal
can be realized or at least (for perhaps this kind of ideal can never, in the
very nature of things, be fully realized) more nearly approached than in the
wine-bibbing past, the whisky-drinking, marijuana-smoking, and
barbiturate-swallowing present.
The urge to transcend
self-conscious selfhood is, as I have said, a principal appetite of the
soul. When, for whatever reason, men and
women fail to transcend themselves by means of worship, good works, and
spiritual exercises, they are apt to resort to religion's chemical surrogates -
alcohol and 'goof-pills' in the modern West, alcohol and opium in the East,
hashish in the Mohammedan world, alcohol and
marijuana in Central America, alcohol and coca in the Andes, alcohol and the
barbiturates in the more-up-to-date regions of South America. In Poisons sacré,
ivresses divines Philippe de Félice
has written at length and with a wealth of documentation on the immemorial
connection between religion and the taking of drugs. Here, in summary or in direct quotation, are
his conclusions. The employment for
religious purposes of toxic substances is 'extroardinarily
widespread.... The practices studied in this volume can be observed in every
region of the earth, among primitives no less than among those who have reached
a high pitch of civilization. We are
therefore dealing not with exceptional facts, which might justifiably be
overlooked, but with a general and, in the widest sense of the word, a human
phenomenon, the kind of phenomenon which cannot be disregarded by anyone who is
trying to discover what religion is, and what are the deep needs which it must
satisfy.'
Ideally, everyone
should be able to find self-transcendence in some form of pure or applied
religion. In practice it seems very
unlikely that this hoped-fro consummation will ever be realized. There are, and doubtless there always will
be, good churchmen and good churchwomen for whom, unfortunately, piety is not
enough. The late G.K. Chesterton, who
wrote at least as lyrically of drink as of devotion, may serve as their
eloquent spokesman.
The modern Churches,
with some exceptions among the Protestant denominations, tolerate alcohol; but
even the most tolerant have made no attempt to convert the drug to
Christianity, or to sacramentalize its use. The pious drinker is forced to take his
religion in one compartment, his religion-surrogate in another. And perhaps this is inevitable. Drinking cannot be sacramentalized
except in religions which set no store on decorum. The worship of Dionysos
or the Celtic god of beer was a loud and disorderly affair. The rites of Christianity are incompatible
with even religious drunkenness. This
does no harm to the distillers, but is very bad for Christianity. Countless persons desire self-transcendence and
would be glad to find it in church. But,
alas, 'the hungry sheep look up and are not fed'. They take part in rites, they listen to
sermons, they repeat prayers; but their thirst remains unassuaged. Disappointed, they turn to the bottle. For a time at least and in a kind of way, it
works. Church may still be attended; but
it is no more than the Musical Bank of
We see, then, that
Christianity and alcohol do not and cannot mix.
Christianity and mescalin seem to be much more
compatible. This has been demonstrated
by many tribes of Indians, from
Professor J.S. Slotkin - one of the very few white men ever to have
participated in the rites of a Peyotist congregation
- say of his fellow worshippers that they are 'certainly not stupefied or
drunk.... They never get out of rhythm or fumble their words, as a drunken or
stupefied man would do.... They are all quiet, courteous, and considerate of
one another. I have never been in any
white man's house of worship where there is either so much religious feeling or
decorum.' And what, we may ask, are
these devout and well-behaved Peyotists
experiencing? Not the mild sense of
virtue which sustains the average Sunday churchgoer through ninety minutes of
boredom. Not even those high feelings,
inspired by thoughts of the Creator and the Redeemer, the Judge and the
Comforter, which animate the pious. For
these Native Americans, religious experience is something more direct and
illuminating, more spontaneous, less the home-made product of the superficial,
self-conscious mind. Sometimes
(according to the reports collected by Dr Slotkin)
they see visions, which may be of Christ Himself. Sometimes they hear the voice of the Great
Spirit. Sometimes they become aware of
the presence of God and of those personal shortcomings which must be corrected
if they are to do His will. The
practical consequences of these chemical openings of doors into the Other World
seem to be wholly good. Dr Slotkin reports that habitual Peyotists
are on the whole more industrious, more temperate (many of them abstain
altogether from alcohol), more peaceable than non-Peyotists. A tree with such satisfactory fruits cannot
be condemned out of hand as evil.
In sacramentalizing
the use of peyote, the Indians of the Native American Church have done
something which is at once psychologically sound and historically
respectable. In the early centuries of
Christianity many pagan rites and festivals were baptized, so to say, and made
to serve the purposes of the Church.
Those jollifications were not particularly edifying; but they assuaged a
certain psychological hunger and, instead of trying to suppress them, the
earlier missionaries had the sense to accept them for what they were,
soul-satisfying expressions of fundamental urges, and to incorporate them into
the fabric of the new religion. What the
Native Americans have done is essentially similar. They have taken a pagan custom (a custom,
incidentally, far more elevating and enlightening than most of the rather
brutish carousels and mummeries adopted from European paganism) and given it a
Christian significance.
Though but recently
introduced into the northern United States, peyote-eating and the religion
based upon it have become important symbols of the Red Man's right to spiritual
independence. Some Indians have reacted to
white supremacy by becoming Americanized, others by retreating into traditional
Indianism. But
some have tried to make the best of both worlds, indeed of all the worlds - the
best of Indianism, the best of Christianity, and the
best of those Other Worlds of transcendental experience, where the soul knows
itself as unconditioned and of like nature with the divine. Hence the
Lo, the poor Indian, whose untutored mind
Clothes him in
front, but leaves him bare behind.
But actually it is we, the rich and highly educated whites, who
have left ourselves bare behind. We
cover our anterior nakedness with some philosophy - Christian, Marxian, Freudo-Physicalist - but abaft we
remain uncovered, at the mercy of all the winds of circumstance. The poor Indian, on the other hand, has had
the wit to protect his rear by supplementing the fig-leaf of a theology with
the breech-clout of transcendental experience.
I am not so foolish as
to equate what happens under the influence of mescalin
or of any other drug, prepared or in the future preparable,
with the realization of the end and ultimate purpose of human life:
Enlightenment, the Beatific Vision. All
I am suggesting is that the mescalin experience is
what Catholic theologians call a 'gratuitous grace', not necessary to salvation
but potentially helpful and to be accepted thankfully, if made available. To be shaken out of the ruts of ordinary
perception, to be shown for a few timeless hours the outer and the inner world,
not as they appear to an animal obsessed with survival or to a human being
obsessed with words and notions, but as they are apprehended, directly and
unconditionally, by Mind at Large - this is an experience of inestimable value
to everyone and especially to the intellectual.
For the intellectual is by definition the man for whom, in Goethe's
phrase, 'the word is essentially fruitful'.
He is the man who feels that 'what we perceive by the eye is foreign to
us as such and need not impress us deeply'.
And yet, though himself an intellectual and one
of the supreme masters of language, Goethe did not always agree with his own
evaluation of the word. 'We talk,' he
wrote in middle life, 'far too much. We
should talk less and draw more. I
personally should like to renounce speech altogether and, like organic Nature,
communicate everything I have to say in sketches. That fig tree, this little snake, the cocoon
on my window sill quietly awaiting its future - all these are momentous signatures. A person able to decipher their meaning
properly would soon be able to dispense with the written or the spoken word
altogether. The more I think of it,
there is something futile, mediocre, even (I am tempted to say) foppish about
speech. By contrast, how the gravity of
Nature and her silence startle you, when you stand face to face with her, undistracted, before a barren ridge or in the desolation of
the ancient hills.' We can never
dispense with language and the other symbol systems; for it is by means of
them, and only by their means, that we have raised ourselves above the brutes,
to the level of human beings. But we can
easily become the victims as well as the beneficiaries of these systems. We must learn how to handle words
effectively; but at the same time we must preserve and, if necessary, intensify
our ability to look at the world directly and not through that half-opaque
medium of concepts, which distorts every given fact into the all-too-familiar
likeness of some generic label or explanatory abstraction.
Literary or scientific,
liberal or specialist, all our education is predominantly verbal and therefore
fails to accomplish what it is supposed to do.
Instead of transforming children into fully developed adults, it turns
out students of the natural sciences who are completely unaware of Nature as
the primary fact of experience, it inflicts upon the world students of the
Humanities who know nothing of humanity, their own or anyone else's.
Gestalt psychologists,
such as Samuel Renshaw, have devised methods for
widening the range and increasing the acuity of human perceptions. But do our educators apply them? The answer is, No.
Teachers in every field
of psycho-physical skill, from seeing to tennis, from tightrope walking to
prayer, have discovered, by trial and error, the conditions of optimum
functioning within their special fields.
But have any of the great Foundations financed a project for
coordinating these empirical findings into a general theory and practice of
heightened creativeness? Again, so far
as I am aware, the answer is, No.
All sorts of cultists
and queer fish teach all kinds of techniques for achieving health, contentment,
peace of mind; and for many of their hearers many of these techniques are
demonstrably effective. But do we see
respectable psychologists, philosophers, and clergymen boldly
descending into those odd and sometimes malodorous wells, at the bottom of
which poor Truth is so often condemned to sit? Yet once again the answer is, No.
And now look at the
history of mescalin research. Seventy years ago men of first-rate ability
described the transcendental experiences which come to those who, in good
health, under proper conditions, and in the right spirit, take the drug. How many philosophers, how many theologians,
how many professional educators have had the curiosity to open this Door in the
Wall? The answer, for all practical
purposes, is, None.
In a world where
education is predominantly verbal, highly educated people find it all but
impossible to pay serious attention to anything but words and notions. There is always money for, there are always
doctorates in, the learned foolery of research into what, for scholars, is the all-important problem: Who influenced whom to say
what when? Even in this age of
technology the verbal Humanities are honoured.
The non-verbal humanities, the arts of being directly aware of the given
facts of our existence, are almost completely ignored. A catalogue, a bibliography, a definitive
edition of a third-rate versifier's ipsissima
verba, a stupendous index to end all indexes -
any genuinely Alexandrian project is sure of approval and financial
support. But when it comes to finding
out how you and I, our children and grandchildren, may become more perceptive,
more intensely aware of inward and outward reality, more open to the Spirit,
less apt, by psychological malpractices, to make ourselves physically ill, and
more capable of controlling our own autonomic nervous systems - when it comes
to any form of non-verbal education more fundamental (and more likely to be of
some practical use) than Swedish Drill, no respectable person in any really
respectable university or church will do anything about it. Verbalists are
suspicious of the non-verbal; rationalists fear the given, non-rational fact;
intellectuals feel that 'what we perceive by the eye (or any other way) is
foreign to us as such and need not impress us deeply'. Besides, this matter of education in the
non-verbal Humanities will not fit into any of the established
pigeon-holes. It is not religion, not
neurology, not gymnastics, not morality or civics, not even experimental
psychology. This being so, the subject
is, for academic and ecclesiastical purposes, non-existent and may safely be
ignored altogether or left, with a patronizing smile, to those whom the
Pharisees of verbal orthodoxy call cranks, quacks, charlatans, and unqualified
amateurs.
'I have always found,'
Blake wrote rather bitterly, 'that Angels have the vanity to speak of
themselves as the only wise. This they
do with a confident insolence sprouting from systematic reasoning.'
Systematic reasoning is
something we could not, as a species or as individuals, possibly do
without. But neither, if we are to
remain sane, can we possibly do without direct perception, the more
unsystematic the better, of the inner and outer worlds into which we have been
born. This given reality is an infinite
which passes all understanding and yet admits of being directly and in some
sort totally apprehended. It is a
transcendence belonging to another order than the human, and yet it may be
present to us as a felt immanence, an experienced participation. To be enlightened is to be aware, always, of
total reality in its immanent otherness - to be aware of it and yet to remain
in a condition to survive as an animal, to think and feel as a human being, to
resort whenever expedient to systematic reasoning. Our goal is to discover that we have always
been where we ought to be. Unhappily we
make the task exceedingly difficult for ourselves. Meanwhile, however, there are gratuitous
graces in the form of partial and fleeting realizations. Under a more realistic, a less exclusively
verbal system of education than ours, every Angel (in Blake's sense of that
word) would be permitted as a sabbatical treat, would be urged and even, if
necessary, compelled to take an occasional trip through some chemical Door in
the Wall into the world of transcendental experience. If it terrified him, it would be unfortunate
but probably salutary. If it brought him a brief but timeless illumination, so much the
better. In either case the Angel
might lose a little of the confident insolence sprouting from systematic
reasoning and the consciousness of having read all the books.
Near the end of his
life Aquinas experienced Infused Contemplation.
Thereafter he refused to go back to work on his unfinished book. Compared with this, everything he had
read and argued about and written - Aristotle and the Sentences, the Questions,
the Propositions, the majestic Summas - was no better
than chaff or straw. For most
intellectuals such a sit-down strike would be inadvisable, even morally
wrong. But the Angelic Doctor had done
more systematic reasoning than any twelve ordinary Angels, and was already ripe
for death. He had earned the right, in
those last months of his mortality, to turn away from merely symbolic straw and
chaff to the bread of actual and substantial Fact. For Angels of a lower order and with better
prospects of longevity, there must be a return to the straw. But the man who comes back through the Door
in the Wall will never be quite the same as the man who went out. He will be wiser but less cocksure, happier
but less self-satisfied, humbler in acknowledging his ignorance yet better
equipped to understand the relationship of words to things, of systematic
reasoning to the unfathomable Mystery which it tries, forever vainly, to
comprehend.
THE DOORS OF PERCEPTION (polychrome version)