EASTER
came in like a frozen hare - but it was fairly warm in bed. Today it is lovely again and along the
Champs-Elysées at twilight it is like an outdoor seraglio choked with dark-eyed
houris. The
trees are in full foliage and of a verdure so pure, so
rich, that it seems as though they were still wet and glistening with dew. From the Palais du Louvre to the Étoile it is like a piece of music for the pianoforte. For five days I have not touched the
typewriter nor looked at a book; nor have I had a single idea in my head except
to go to the American Express. At nine
this morning I was there, just as the doors were being opened, and again at
Along the Champs-Elysées, ideas pouring
from me like sweat. I ought to be rich
enough to have a secretary to whom I could dictate as I walk, because my best
thoughts always come when I am away from the machine.
Walking along the Champs-Elysées I keep
thinking of my really superb health.
When I say "health" I mean optimism, to be truthful. Incurably optimistic! Still have one foot in the nineteenth
century. I'm a bit retarded, like most
Americans. Carl finds it disgusting,
this optimism. "I have only to talk
about a meal," he says, "and you're radiant!" It's a fact.
The mere thought of a meal - another meal - rejuvenates me. A meal!
That means something to go on - a few solid hours of work, an erection
possibly. I don't deny it. I have health, good solid, animal
health. The only thing that stands
between me and a future is a meal, another meal.
As for Carl, he's not himself these
days. He's upset, his nerves are
jangled. He says he's ill, and I believe
him, but I don't feel badly about it.
I can't. In fact, it makes me laugh. And that offends him, of course. Everything wounds him - my laughter, my
hunger, my persistence, my insouciance, everything. One day he wants to blow his brains out
because he can't stand this lousy hole of a
"Do it!" I say. "Do one thing or the other, you bastard,
but don't try to cloud my healthy eye with your melancholy breath!"
But that's just it! In
Fundamentally Carl is a snob, an
aristocratic little prick who lives in a dementia praecox kingdom all of his
own. "I hate
My eye, but I've been all over that ground
- years and years ago. I've lived out my
melancholy youth. I don't give a fuck
any more what's behind me, or what's ahead of me. I'm healthy.
Incurably healthy. No sorrows, no regrets. No past, no future. The present is enough for me. Day by day. Today!
Le bel aujourd'hui!
He has only one day a week off, Carl, and
on that day he's more miserable, if you can imagine it, than on any other day
of the week. Though he professes to
despise food, the only way he seems to enjoy himself on his day off is to order
a big spread. Perhaps he does it for my
benefit - I don't know, and I don't ask.
If he chooses to add martyrdom to his list of vices, let him - it's O.K.
with me. Anyway, last Tuesday, after
squandering what he had on a big spread, he steers me to the Dôme, the last place in the world I would seek on my day
off. But one not only gets acquiescent
here - one gets supine.
Standing at the Dôme
bar is Marlowe, soused to the ears. He's
been on a bender, as he calls it, for the last five days. That means a continuous drunk, a
peregrination from one bar to another, day and night without interruption, and
finally a layoff at the
Even if he is fried to the hat some fine
preservative instinct always warns Marlowe when it is time to act. If there is any doubt in his mind as to how
the drinks are going to be paid he will be sure to put on a stunt. The usual one is to pretend that he is going
blind. Carl knows all his tricks by now,
and so when Marlowe suddenly claps his hands to his temples and begins to act
it out Carl gives him a boot in the ass and says: "Come out of it, you
sap! You don't have to do that with
me!"
Whether it is a cunning
piece of revenge or not, I don't know, but at any rate Marlowe is paying Carl
back in good coin. Leaning over us
confidentially he relates in a hoarse, croaking voice a piece of gossip which
he picked up in the course of his peregrinations from bar to bar. Carl looks up in amazement. He's pale under the gills. Marlowe repeats the story with
variations. Each time Carl wilts a
little more. "But that's
impossible!" he finally blurts out.
"No it ain't!"
croaks Marlowe. "You're gonna lose your job ... I got it straight." Carl looks at me in despair. "Is he shitting me, that bastard?"
he murmurs in my ear. And then aloud -
"What am I going to do now? I'll
never find another job. It took me a
year to land this one."
This, apparently, is all that Marlowe has
been waiting to hear. At last he has
found someone worse off than himself.
"They be hard times!" he croaks, and
his bony skull glows with a cold, electric fire.
Leaving the Dôme,
Marlowe explains between hiccups that he's got to return to
"What about his proposition?"
says Carl.
"Should we take it up? He
says he'll give me a thousand francs when he comes back. I know he won't, but what about
it?" He looks at Marlowe sprawled
out on the bench, lifts the muffler from his eyes, and puts it back again. Suddenly a mischievous grin lights up his
face. "Listen, Joe," he says, beckoning
me to move closer, "we'll take him up on it. We'll take his lousy review over and we'll
fuck him good and proper."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Why, we'll throw out all the other
contributors and we'll fill it with our own shit - that's what!"
"Yeah, but what
kind of shit?"
"Any kind ... he won't be able to do
anything about it. We'll fuck him good
and proper. One good number and after
that the magazine'll be finished. Are you game, Joe?"
Grinning and chuckling
we lift Marlowe to his feet and haul him to Carl's room. When we turn on the lights there's a woman in
the bed waiting for Carl. "I forgot
all about her," says Carl. We turn
the cunt loose and shove Marlowe into bed. In a minute or so there's a knock at the
door. It's Van Norden. He's all aflutter. Lost a plate of false teeth - at the Bal Negre, he thinks. Anyway, we get to bed, the four of us. Marlowe stinks like a smoked fish.
In the morning Marlowe and Van Norden leave to search for the false teeth. Marlowe is blubbering. He imagines they are his teeth.