STOUT AND BROWN ALE VIS-À-VIS LIGHT ALE AND LAGER

I intimated in the last paragraph of my [reformatted] weblog 'Ale and Stout' that I might give this intriguing subject some additional thought in order to clarify one or two outstanding issues and, lo and behold!, that is what I have done and, as usual, resolved the issue to my logical satisfaction.

For physics over pseudo-chemistry at the southeast point of the intercardinal axial compass equals vegetation (or earth) over pseudo-water or, in common parlance, ‘shit’ over pseudo-‘piss’, and one has here not simply a can/bottle distinction, as noted above, but one, moreover, between stout and brown ale, the latter a kind of ‘shat’-upon beer which accords, in tight skirt-like vein, with pseudo-‘piss’, which, translated back into beer terminology, would equate with brown ale as a manifestation less of phenomenal subjectivity than of phenomenal pseudo-objectivity.

On the other hand, chemistry over pseudo-physics at the southwest point of the intercardinal axial compass equals water over pseudo-vegetation (or pseudo-earth) or, in common parlance, ‘piss’ over pseudo-‘shit’, and here one has not simply a bottle/can distinction, as intimated above, but one, moreover, between light ale and lager, the latter a kind of ‘pissed’-upon beer which accords, in flared pants-like vein, with pseudo-‘shit’, which, translated back into beer terminology, would equate with lager as a manifestation less of phenomenal objectivity than of phenomenal pseudo-subjectivity.

Therefore light ale over lager at the southwest point of the intercardinal axial compass has to be contrasted with stout over brown ale at the southeast point of the said compass, the former pairing commensurate with chemistry over pseudo-physics, or phenomenal (as opposed to noumenal) females over phenomenal (as opposed to noumenal) pseudo-males, and the latter pairing commensurate with physics over pseudo-chemistry, or phenomenal (as opposed to noumenal) males over phenomenal (as opposed to noumenal) pseudo-females.

That, then, is the logical underpinning of the distinctions between ale and lager and/or stout, and one can see that ale, whether light or dark, pale or brown, is, in overall terms, on the female side of the gender fence and both lager and stout, germane as they should be to cans as against bottles, are on its male side, pertaining, as noted above, to separate axes of which the southwest is polar to the northeast on church-hegemonic terms and the southeast polar to the northwest of state-hegemonic terms.