I
As a junior of
exceptional promise, he had been sent to
He had in
fact quite forgotten about his once-crisp tennis flannels and college blazer
and the fact that the wash of bilge rising through the floorboards had
toe-capped his white plimsolls with a black stain. In
The punt
which now carried him, thrust by slow thrust across the turbid water, was
turning slowly eastward to take up its position in the great semicircle of
boats which was being gradually closed in upon a target-area marked out by the
black reed spines of fishpans. And as they closed in, stroke by stroke, the
Egyptian night fell - the sudden reduction of all objects to bas-reliefs upon a
screen of gold and violet. The land had
become dense as tapestry in the lilac afterglow, quivering here and there with
water mirages from the rising damps, expanding and contracting horizons, until
one thought of the world as being mirrored in a soapbubble
trembling on the edge of disappearance.
Voices, too, across the water sounded now loud, now soft and clear. His own cough fled across the lake in sudden wingbeats. Dusk, yet
it was still hot; his shirt stuck to his back.
The spokes of darkness which reached out to them only outlined the
shapes of the reed-fringed islands, which punctuated the water like great
pincushions, like paws, like hassocks.
Slowly, at
the pace of prayer or meditation, the great arc of boats was forming and
closing in, but with the land and the water liquefying at this rate he kept
having the illusion that they were travelling across the sky rather than across
the alluvial waters of Mareotis. And out of sight he could hear the splatter
of geese, and in one corner water and sky split apart as a flight rose,
trailing its webs across the estuary like seaplanes, honking crassly. Mountolive sighed
and stared down into the brown water, chin on his hands. He was unused to feeling so happy. Youth is the age of despairs.
Behind him
he could hear the hare-lipped younger brother Narouz
grunting at every thrust of the pole while the lurch of the boat echoed in his
loins. The mud, thick as molasses,
dripped back into the water with a slow flob,
flob, and the pole sucked lusciously. It was very beautiful, but it all stank so:
yet to his surprise he found he rather enjoyed the rotting smells of the
estuary. Draughts of wind from the far
sea-line ebbed around them from time to time, refreshing the mind. Choirs of gnats whizzed up there like silver
rain in the eye of the dying sun. The
cobweb of changing light fired his mind.
'Narouz,' he said, 'I am so happy,' as he
listened to his own unhurried heartbeats.
The youth gave his shy hissing laugh and said: 'Good, good,' ducking his
head. 'But this is nothing. Wait. We are closing in.' Mountolive
smiled. '
'Over
there,' said Narouz in his hoarse, melodious voice,
'the ducks are not rusés, do you know?' (His English was imperfect and stilted.) 'For the poaching of them, it is easy (you
say 'poaching', don't you?) You dive
under them and take them by the legs. Easier than shooting, eh?
If you wish, tomorrow we will go.'
He grunted again at the pole and sighed.
'What about
snakes?' said Mountolive. He had seen several
large ones swimming about that afternoon.
Narouz squared his stout shoulders and chuckled. 'No snakes,' he said, and laughed once more.
Mountolive turned sideways to rest his cheek on the wood of
the prow. Out of the corner of his eye
he could see his companion standing up as he poled, and study the hairy arms
and hands, the sturdy braced legs.
'Shall I take a turn?' he asked in Arabic. He had already noticed how much pleasure it
gave his hosts when he spoke to them in their native tongue. Their answers, smilingly given, were a sort
of embrace. 'Shall I?'
'Of course
not,' said Narouz, smiling his ugly smile which was
only redeemed by magnificent eyes and a deep voice. Sweat dripped down from the curly black hair
with its widow's peak. And then lest his
refusal might seem impolite, he added: 'The drive will start with
darkness. I know what to do; and you
must look and see the fish.' The two
little pink frills of flesh which edged his unbasted
lip were wet with spittle. He winked
lovingly at the English youth.
The
darkness was racing towards them now and the light expiring. Narouz suddenly
cried: 'Now is the moment. Look
there.' He clapped his hands loudly and
shouted across the water, startling his companion who followed his pointed
finger with raised head. 'What?' he dull
report of a gun from the furtherest boat shook the
air and suddenly the skyline was sliced in half by a new flight, rising more
slowly and dividing earth from air in a pink travelling wound; like the heart
of a pomegranate staring through its skin.
Then, turning from pink to scarlet, flushed back into white and fell to
the lake-level like a shower of snow to melt as it touched the water -
'Flamingo,' they both cried and laughed, and the darkness snapped upon them,
extinguishing the visible world.
For a long
moment now they rested, breathing deeply, to let their eyes grow accustomed to
it. Voices and laughter from the distant
boats floated across their path. Someone
cried 'Ya Narouz' and again
'Ya Narouz'. He only grunted. And now there came the short syncopated
tapping of a fingerdrum, music whose rhythms copied themselves instantly in Mountolive's
mind so that he felt his own fingers begin to tap upon the boards. The lake was floorless now, the yellow mud
had vanished - the soft cracked mud of prehistoric lake-faults, or the
bituminous mud which the
The circle
of boats had narrowed now to encompass the pans and in the hot dusk matches
began to spark, while soon the carbide lamps attached to the prows blossomed
into trembling yellow flowers, wobbling up into definition, enabling those who
were out of line to correct their trim. Narouz bent over his guest with an apology and groped at
the prow. Mountolive
smelt the sweat of his strong body as he bent down to test the rubber tube and
shake the old bakelite box of the lamp, full of rock-carbide. Then he turned a key, struck a match, and for
a moment the dense fumes engulfed them both where they sat, breath held, only
to clear swiftly while beneath them also flowered, like some immense coloured
crystal, a semicircle of lake water, candent and faithful as a magic lantern to
the startled images of fish scattering and reforming with movements of
surprise, curiosity, perhaps even pleasure.
Narouz expelled his breath sharply and retired
to his place. 'Look down,' he urged, and
added 'But keep your head well down.' And as Mountolive,
who did not understand this last piece of advice, turned to question him, he
said 'Put a coat around your head. The
kingfishers go mad with the fish and they are not near-sighted. Last time I had my cheek cut open; and Sobhi lost an eye.
Face forwards and down.'
Mountolive did as he was bidden and lay there floating over
the nervous pool of lamplight whose floor was now peerless crystal, not mud,
and alive with water-tortoises and frogs and sliding fish - a whole population
disturbed by this intrusion from the overworld. The punt lurched again and moved while the
cold bilge came up around his toes. Out
of the corner of his eye he could see that now the great half-circle of light,
the chain of blossoms, was closing more rapidly; and as if to give the boats
orientation and measure, there arose a drumming and singing, subdued and
melancholy, yet authoritative. He felt
the tug of the turning boat echoed again in his backbone. His sensations recalled nothing he had ever
known, were completely original.
The water
had become dense now, and thick; like an oatmeal soup that is slowly stirred
into thickness over a slow fire. But
when he looked more closely he saw that the illusion was caused not by the
water but by the multiplication of the fish themselves. They had begun to swarm, darting in schools,
excited by the very consciousness of their own numbers, yet all sliding and
skirmishing one way. The cordon, too,
had tightened like a noose and only twenty feet now separated them from the
next boat, the next pool of waxen light.
The boatmen had begun to utter hoarse cries and pound the waters around
them, themselves excited by the premonition of those fishy swarms which crowded
the soft lake bottom, growing more and more excited as the shallows began and
they recognized themselves trapped in the shining circle. There was something like delirium in their
swarming and circling now. Vague shadows
of men began to unwind hand-nets in the boats and the shouting thickened. Mountolive felt his
blood beating faster with excitement.
'In a moment,' cried Narouz. 'Lie still.'
The waters
thickened to glue and silver bodies began to leap into the darkness only to
fall back, glittering like coinage, into the shallows. The circles of light touched, overlapped, and
the whole ceinture was complete, and from all around
it there came the smash and crash of dark bodies leaping into the shallows,
furling out the long hand-nets which were joined end to end and whose dark
loops were already bulging like Christmas stockings with the squirming bodies
of fish. The leapers had taken fright
too, and their panic-stricken leaps ripped up the whole surface of the pan,
flashing back cold water upon the stuttering lamps, falling into the boats, a
shuddering harvest of cold scales and drumming tails. Their exciting death-struggles were as
contagious as the drumming had been.
Laughter shook the air as the nets closed. Mountolive could
see Arabs with their long white robes tucked up to the waist pressing forward
with steadying hands held to the dark prows beside them, pushing their linked
nets slowly forward. The light gleamed
upon their dark thighs. The darkness was
full of their barbaric blitheness.
And now came another unexpected phenomenon - for the sky itself
began to thicken above them as the water had below. The darkness was suddenly swollen with
unidentifiable shapes, for the jumpers had alerted the sleepers from the shores
of the lakes, and with shrill incoherent cries the new visitants from the
sedge-lined outer estuary joined in the hunt - hundreds of pelican, flamingo,
crane and kingfisher - coming in on irregular trajectories to careen and swoop
and snap at the jumping fish. The waters
and the air alike seethed with life as the fishermen aligned their nets and
began to scoop the swarming catch into the boats, or turned out their nets to
let the rippling cascades of silver pour over the gunwales until the helmsmen
were sitting ankle-deep in the squirming bodies. There would be enough and to spare for men
and birds, and while the larger waders of the lake folded and unfolded awkward
wings like old-fashioned painted parasols, or hovered in ungainly parcels above
the snapping, leaping water, the kingfishers and herring-gulls came in from
every direction at the speed of thunderbolts, half mad with greed and
excitement, flying on suicidal courses, some to break their necks outright upon
the decks of the boats, some to flash beak forward into the dark body of a
fisherman to split open a cheek or a thigh in their terrifying cupidity. The splash of water, the hoarse cries, the
snapping of beaks and wings, and the mad tattoo of the fingerdrums
gave the whole scene an unforgettable splendour, vaguely recalling to the mind
of Mountolive forgotten Pharaonic
frescoes of light and darkness.
Here and
there, too, the men began to fight off the birds, striking at the dark air
around them with sticks until amid the swarming scrolls of captured fish one
could see surprisingly rainbow feathers of magical hue and broken beaks from
which blood trickled upon the silver scales of the fish. For three-quarters of an hour the scene
continued thus until the dark boats were brimming. Now Nessim was
alongside, shouting to them in the darkness.
'We must go back.' He pointed to
a lantern waving across the water, creating a warm cave of light in which they
glimpsed the smooth turning flanks of a horse and the serrated edge of
palm-leaves. 'My mother is waiting for
us,' cried Nessim.
His flawless head bent down to take the edge of a light-pool as he
smiled. His was a Byzantine face such as
one might find among the frescoes of
And so at
last the two boats each with its Cyclops-eye of light turned back across the
dark water to the far jetty where Leila waited patiently for them with the
horses in the mosquito-loud silence. A
young moon was up now.
Her voice
came laughingly across the variable airs of the lake, chiding them for being
late, and Narouz chuckled. 'We've brought lots of fish,' cried Nessim. She stood,
slightly darker than the darkness, and their hands met as if guided by some
perfected instinct which found no place in their conscious minds. Mountolive's heart
shook as he stood up and climbed on to the jetty with her help. But no sooner were the two brothers ashore
than Narouz cried: 'Race you home, Nessim,' and they dived for their horses which bucked and
started at the laughing onslaught.
'Careful,' she cried sharply, but before a second had passed they were
off, hooves drumming on the soft rides of the embankment, Narouz
chuckling like a Mephistopheles. 'What
is one to do?' she said with mock resignation, and now the factor came forward
with their own horses.
They
mounted and set off for the house.
Ordering the servant to ride on before with the lantern, Leila brought
her horse close in so that they might ride knee-to-knee, solaced by the touch
of each other's bodies. They had not
been lovers for very long - barely ten days - though to the youthful Mountolive it seemed a century, an eternity of despair and
delight. He had been formally educated
in
'Darling.'
'Darling.'
They rode
on knee-to-knee until the old house came into view, built four-square upon the
network of embankments which carved up the estuary and the sweet-water
canals. The air was full of fruit-bats. The upper balconies of the house were
brightly lit and here the invalid sat crookedly in his wheelchair, staring
jealously out at the night, watching for them.
Leila's husband was dying of some obscure disease of the musculature, a
progressive atrophy which cruelly emphasized the already great difference in
their ages. His infirmity had hollowed
him out into a cadaverous shell composed of rags and shawls from which
protruded two long sensitive hands.
Saturnine of feature and with an uncouthness of mien which was echoed in
his younger son's face, his head was askew on his shoulders and in some lights
resembled those carnival masks which are carried on poles. It only remains to be added that Leila loved
him!
'Leila
loved him.' In the silence of his
own mind Mountolive could never think the words without
mentally shrieking them like a parrot.
How could she? He had asked
himself over and over again. How could
she?
As he heard
the hooves of the horses on the cobbles of the courtyard, the husband urged his
wheelchair forward to the balcony's edge, calling testily: 'Leila, is that
you?' in the voice of an old child ready to be hurt by the warmth of her smile
thrown upwards to him from the ground and the deep sweet contralto in which she
answered him, mixing oriental submissiveness with the kind of comfort which
only a child could understand. 'Darling.' And running up the long wooden flights of stairs to embrace him,
calling out 'We are all safely back.'
Mountolive slowly dismounted in the courtyard,
hearing the sick man's sigh of relief.
He busied himself with an unnecessary tightening of a girth rather than
see them embrace. He was not jealous,
but his incredulity pierced and wounded him.
It was hateful to be young, to be maladroit, to
feel carried out of one's depth. How had
all this come about? He felt a million
miles away from
'Did you
like it, Mountolive?' croaked the invalid, with a
voice in which floated (like oil in water) pride and suspicion. A tall negro servant wheeled a small table
forward on which the decanter of whisky stood - a world of anomalies: to drink
'sundowners' like colonials in this old rambling house full of magnificent
carpets, walls covered with assegais captured at Omdurman,
and weird Second Empire furniture of a Turkish cast. 'Sit,' he said, and Mountolive,
smiling at him, sat, noticing that even here in the reception rooms there were
books and periodicals lying about - symbols of the unsatisfied hunger for
thought which Leila had never allowed to master her. Normally, she kept her books and papers in
the harim, but they always overflowed into the
house. Her husband had no share of this
world. She tried as far as possible not
to make him conscious of it, dreading his jealousy which had become troublesome
as his physical capacity increased. His
sons were washing - somewhere Mountolive heard the
sound of pouring water. Soon he would
excuse himself and retire to change into a white suit for dinner. He drank and talked to the crumpled man in
the wheelchair in his low melodious voice.
It seemed to him terrifying and improper to be the lover of his wife;
and yet he was always breathless with surprise to see how naturally and simply
Leila carried off the whole deception.
(Her cool honeyed voice, etc.; he should try not to think of her too
much.) He frowned and sipped his drink.
It had been
quite difficult to find his way out to the lands to present his letter of
introduction: the motor road still only ran as far as the ford, after which
horses had to be used to reach the house among the canals. He had been marooned for nearly an hour
before a kindly passer-by had offered him a horse on which he reached his
destination. That day there had been
nobody at home save the invalid. Mountolive noticed with some amusement that in reading the
letter of introduction, couched in the flowery high style of Arabic, the
invalid muttered aloud the conventional politenesses
of reciprocity to the compliments he was reading just as if the writer of the
letter had himself been present. Then at
once he looked up tenderly into the face of the young Englishman and spoke, and
Mountolive softly answered. 'You will come and stay with us - it is the
only way to improve your Arabic. For two
months if you wish. My sons know English
and will be delighted to converse with you; my wife also. It would be a blessing to them to have a new
face, a stranger in the house. And my
dear Nessim, though still so young, is in his last
year at
Mountolive had accepted, and by renouncing both home and
local leave had obtained permission to stay two months in the house of this
Coptic squire. It was a complete
departure from everything he had known to be thus included in the pattern of a
family life based in and nourished by the unconscious pageantry of a feudalism
which stretched back certainly as far as the Middle Ages, and perhaps
beyond. The world of
The Hosnani family itself was oddly assorted. The graceful Nessim
and his mother were familiars of the spirit, belonging to the same intense
world of intelligence and sensibility.
He, the eldest son, was always on the watch to serve his mother, should
she need a door opened or a handkerchief recovered from the ground. His English and French were perfect,
impeccable as his manners, graceful and strong as his physique. Then, facing them across the candlelight, sat
the other two: the invalid in his rugs, and the younger son, though and brutish
as a mastiff and with an indefinable air of being ready at any moment to answer
a call to arms. Heavily built and ugly,
he was nevertheless gentle; but you could see from the loving way he drank in
each word uttered by his father where his love-allegiance lay. His simplicity shone in his eyes, and he too
was ready to be of service, and indeed, when the work of the lands did not take
him from the house, was always quick to dismiss the silent boy-servant who
stood behind the wheelchair and to serve his father with a glowing pride, glad
even to pick him up bodily and take him tenderly, almost gloatingly, to the
lavatory. He regarded his mother with
something like the pride and childish sadness which shone in the eyes of the
cripple. Yet, though the brothers were
divided in this way like twigs of olive, there was no breach between them -
they were of the same branch and felt it, and they loved one another dearly,
for they were in truth complementaries, the one being
strong where the other was weak. Nessim feared bloodshed, manual work and bad manners: Narouz rejoiced in them all. And Leila? Mountolive of
course found her a beautiful enigma when he might, had he been more
experienced, have recognized in her naturalness a perfect simplicity of spirit
and in her extravagant nature a temperament which had been denied its true
unfolding, had fallen back with good grace among compromises. This marriage, for example, to a man so much
older than herself had been one of arrangement - this
was still
She gave
in, responding at first with despair, later with resignation, to the life they
had designed for her. Her husband was
kind and thoughtful, but mentally something of a dullard. The life sapped her will. Her loyalty was such that she immersed
herself in his affairs, living because he wished it far from the only capital
which bore the remotest traces of a European way of life -
This lonely
life had made her feel somewhat unprepared for Mountolive,
for the arrival of a stranger in their midst.
On that first day she came in late from a desert ride and slipped into
her place between her husband and his guest with some pleasurable excitement. Mountolive hardly
looked at her, for the thrilling voice alone set up odd little vibrations in
his heart which he registered but did not wish to study. She wore white jodhpurs and a yellow shirt
with a scarf. Her smooth small hands
were white and ringless. Neither of her sons appeared at lunch that
day, and after the meal it was she who elected to show him round the house and
gardens, already pleasantly astonished by the young man's respectable Arabic
and sound French. She treated him with
the faintly apprehensive solicitude of a woman towards her only man-child. His genuine interest and desire to learn
filled her with the emotions of a gratitude which surprised her. It was absurd; but then never had a stranger
shown any desire to study and assess them, their language, religion and
habits. And Mountolive's
manners were as perfect as his self-command was weak. They both walked about the rose-garden
hearing each other's voices in a sort of dream.
They felt short of breath, almost as if they were suffocating.
When he
said goodbye that night and accepted her husband's invitation to return and
stay with them, she was nowhere to be found.
A servant brought a message to say that she was feeling indisposed with
a headache and was lying down. But she
waited for his return with a kind of obstinate and apprehensive attention.
He did, of
course, meet both the brothers on the evening of that first day, for Nessim appeared in the afternoon from
And Narouz. 'Where is this old Narouz?'
she asked her husband as if the second son were his concern rather than hers,
his stake in the world. 'He has been
locked in the incubators for forty days.
Tomorrow he will return.' Leila
looked faintly embarrassed. 'He is to be
the farmer of the family, and Nessim the banker,' she
explained to Mountolive, flushing slightly. Then, turning to her husband again, she said:
'May I take Mountolive to see Narouz
at work?' 'Of course.' Mountolive was
enchanted by her pronunciation of his name.
She uttered it with a French intonation, 'Montolif',
and it sounded to him a most romantic name.
This thought also was new. She
took his arm and they walked through the rose-gardens and across the
palm-plantations to where the incubators were housed in a long low building of
earth-brick, constructed well below ground level. They knocked once or twice on a sunken door,
but at last Leila impatiently pushed it open and they entered a narrow corridor
with ten earthen ovens ranged along each side facing each other.
'Close the
door,' shouted a deep voice as Narouz rose from among
a nest of cobwebs and came through the gloom to identify the intruders. Mountolive was
somewhat intimidated by his scowl and harelip and the harshness of his shout;
it was as if, despite his youth, they had intruded upon some tousled anchorite
in a cliff-chapel. His skin was yellow
and his eyes wrinkled from this long vigil.
But when he saw them Narouz apologized and
appeared delighted that they had troubled to visit him. He became at once proud and anxious to
explain the workings of the incubators, and Leila tactfully left him a clear
field. Mountolive
already knew that the hatching of eggs by artificial heat was an art for which
Later,
walking back through the rose-garden with Leila, Mountolive
said: 'How very nice your son is.' And
Leila, unexpectedly, blushed and hung her head.
She answered in a low tone, with emotion: 'It is so much on our
conscience that we did not have his harelip sown up in time. And afterwards the village children teased
him, calling him a camel, and that hurt him.
You know that a camel's lip is split in two? No? It
is. Narouz has
had much to contend with.' The young man
walking at her side felt a sudden pang of sympathy for her. But he remained tongue-tied. And then, that evening, she had disappeared.
At the
outset his own feelings somewhat confused him, but he was unused to
introspection, unfamiliar so to speak with the entail of his own personality -
in a word, as he was young he successfully dismissed them. (All this he repeated
in his own mind afterwards, recalling every detail gravely to himself as he
shaved in the old-fashioned mirror or tied a tie. He went over the whole business obsessively
time and again, as if vicariously to provoke and master the whole new range of
emotions which Leila had liberated in him.
At times he would utter the imprecation 'Damn' under his breath, between
set teeth, as if he were recalling in his own memory some fearful disaster. It was unpleasant to be forced to grow. It was thrilling to grow. He gravitated between fear and grotesque
elation.)
They often
rode together in the desert at her husband's suggestion, and there one night of
the full moon, lying together in a dune dusted soft by the wind to the contours
of snow or snuff, he found himself confronted by a new version of Leila. They had eaten their dinner and talked by
ghost-light. 'Wait,' she said suddenly. 'There is a crumb on your lip.' And leaning forward she took it softly upon
her own tongue. He felt the small warm
tongue of an Egyptian cat upon his underlip for a
moment. (This is where in his mind he
always said the word 'Damn'.) At this he
turned pale and felt as if he were about to faint. But she was there so close, harmlessly close,
smiling and wrinkling up her nose, that he could only take her in his arms,
stumbling forward like a man into a mirror.
Their muttering images met now like reflections on a surface of
lake-water. His mind dispersed into a
thousand pieces, winging away into the desert around them. The act of becoming lovers was so easy and
was completed with such apparent lack of premeditation, that for a while he
hardly knew himself what had happened.
When his mind caught up with him he showed at once how young he was,
stammering: 'But why me, Leila?' as if there was all the choice in the wide
world before her, and was astonished when she lay back and repeated the words
after him with what seemed like a musical contempt; the puerility of his
question indeed annoyed her. 'Why you? Because.' And then,
to Mountolive's amazement, she recited in a low sweet
voice a passage from one of her favourite authors.
'There is a
destiny now possible to us - the highest ever set before a nation to be
accepted or refused. We are still undegenerate in race; a race mingled of the best northern
blood. We are not yet dissolute in
temper, but still have the firmness to govern, and the grace to obey. We have been taught a religion of pure mercy
which we must now finally betray or learn to defend by fulfilling. And we are rich in an inheritance of honour,
bequeathed to us through a thousand years of noble history, which it should be
our daily thirst to increase with splendid avarice, so that Englishmen, if it
be a sin to covet honour, should be the most offending souls alive.'
Mountolive listened to her voice with astonishment, pity
and shame. It was clear that what she
saw in him was something like a prototype of a nation which existed now only in
her imagination. She was kissing and
cherishing a painted image of
'Stop. Stop,' he
cried sharply. 'We are not like that any
longer, Leila.' It was an absurd
book-fed dream this Copt had discovered and translated. He felt as if all those magical embraces had
been somehow won under false pretences - as if her absurd thoughts were
reducing the whole thing, diminishing the scale of it to something as shadowy
and unreal as, say, a transaction with a woman of the streets. Can you fall in love with the stone effigy of
a dead crusader?
'You asked
me why,' she said, still with contempt.
'Because,' with a sigh, 'you are English, I suppose.' (It surprised him each time he went over this
scene in his mind and only an oath could express the astonishment of it. 'Damn.')
And then,
like all the inexperienced lovers since the world began, he was not content to
let things be; he must explore and evaluate them in his conscious mind. None of the answers she gave him was
expected. If he mentioned her husband
she at once became angry, interrupting him with withering directness: 'I love
him. I will not have him lightly
spoken of. He is a noble man and I would
never do anything to wound him.'
'But ...
but ...' stammered the young Mountolive; and now,
laughing at his perplexity, she once more put her arms about him saying:
'Fool. David, fool! It is he who told me to take you for a
lover. 'Think - is he not wise in his
way? Fearing to lose me altogether by a
mischance? Have you never starved for
love? Don't you know how dangerous love
is?' No, he did not know.
What on
earth was an Englishman to make of these strange patterns of thought, these
confused and contending loyalties? He
was struck dumb. 'Only I must not fall
in love and I won't.' Was this why she
had elected to love Mountolive's
An
inveterate note-taker by habit, he found his little pocket diary now swollen
with the data which emerged from their long rides together, but it was always
data which concerned the country, for he did not dare to put down a single word
about his feelings or so much as record even Leila's name. In this manner:
'Sunday.
Riding through a poor fly-blown village my companion points to marks his
cuneiform scratched on the walls of houses and asks if I can read them. Like a fool I say no, but perhaps they are
Amharic? Laughter. Explanation is that a venerable pedlar who travels through here every six months carries a special henna from
'Monday. Ali says
that shooting stars are stones thrown by the angels in heaven to drive off evil
djinns when they try to eavesdrop on the conversations in
'Also: the
pause in conversation which we call "Angels Passing" is greeted
another way. After a moment of silence
one says: "Wahed Dhu"
or "One is God" and then the whole company repeats fervently in
response "La Illah Illah
Allah" or "No God but one God" before normal conversation is
resumed. These little habits are
extremely taking.
'Also: my
host uses a curious phrase when he speaks of retiring from business. He calls it "making his soul".
'Also: have never before tasted the
'Also:
Mohammed Shebab offered me on meeting a touch of
jasmine-scent from a phial with a glass stopper - as we would offer a cigarette
in
'Also: they
love birds. In a tumbledown cemetery I
saw graves with little drinking-wells cut in the marble for them which my
companion told me were filled on Friday visits by women of the village.
'Also: Ali,
the Negro factor, an immense eunuch, told me that they feared above all blue
eyes and red hair as evil signs. Odd that the examining angels in the Koran as they most repulsive
features have blue eyes.'
So the young Mountolive
noted and pondered upon the strange ways of the people among whom he had come
to live, painstakingly as befitted a student of manners so remote from his own;
yet also in a kind of ecstasy to find a sort of poetic correspondence between
the reality and the dream-picture of the East which he had constructed from his
reading. There was less of a disparity
here than between the twin images which Leila appeared
to nurse - a poetic image of
Yet there
were other episodes and scenes which touched and excited him in a different
way. One day they all rode out across
the plantations to visit the old nurse Halima, now
living in honourable retirement. She had
been the boys' chief nurse and companion during their infancy. 'She even suckled them when my milk dried
up,' explained Leila.
Narouz gave a hoarse chuckle. 'She was our "chewer",' he
explained to Mountolive. 'Do you know the word?' In
Halima was a freed black slave from the
But there were other scenes, less palatable perhaps, but
nonetheless representative of the moeurs of
And then
(the variety of these incidents was the most bewildering thing about them) that
very afternoon while out riding with Narouz they had
reached the boundaries of the property where the desert began, and had here
come upon a huge sacred tree hung with every manner of ex-voto by the childless or afflicted villagers; every
twig seemed to have sprouted a hundred fluttering rage of cloth. Nearby was the shrine of some old hermit,
long since dead, and whose name even had been forgotten except perhaps by a few
aged villagers. The tumbledown tomb,
however, was still a place of pilgrimage and intercession to Moslem and Copt
alike; and it was here that, dismounting, Narouz said
in the most natural manner in the world: 'I always say a prayer here - let us
pray together, eh?' Mountolive
felt somewhat abashed, but he dismounted without a word and they stood side by
side at the dusty little tomb of the lost saint, Narouz
with his eyes raised to the sky and an expression of demonic meekness upon his
face. Mountolive
imitated his pose exactly, forming his hands into a cup shape and placing them
on his breast. Then they both bowed
their heads and prayed for a long moment, after which Narouz
expelled his breath in a long slow hiss, as if with relief, and made the
gesture of drawing his fingers downwards across his face to absorb the blessing
which flowed from the prayer. Mountolive imitated him, deeply touched.
'Good. We have prayed now,' said Narouz
with finality as they remounted and set off across the fields which lay silent
under the sunlight save where the force-pumps sucked and wheezed as they pumped
the lake-water into the irrigation channels.
At the end of the long shady plantations, they encountered another, more
familiar sound, in the soughing of the wooden waterwheels, the sakkia of
They rode
in silence for a while. 'I hate to think
I shall be leaving you next week,' said Mountolive. 'It has been a wonderful time.' A curious expression appeared on Narouz' face, compounded of doubt and uneasy pleasure, and
somewhere in between them a kind of animal resentment which Mountolive
told himself was perhaps jealousy - jealousy of his mother? He watched the stern profile curiously,
unsure quite how to interpret these matters to himself. After all, Leila's affairs were her own
concern, were they not? Or perhaps their
love-affair had somehow impinged upon the family feeling, so tightly were the
duties and affections of the Hosnani family
bound? He would have liked to speak
freely to the brothers. Nessim at least would understand and sympathize with him,
but thinking of Narouz he began to doubt. The younger brother - one could not quite
trust him somehow. The early atmosphere
of gratitude and delight in the visitor had subtly changed - though he could
not trace an open hint of animosity or reserve.
No, it was more subtle, less definable.
Perhaps, thought Mountolive all at once, he
had manufactured this feeling entirely out of his own sense of guilt? He wondered, watching the darkly bitter
profile of Narouz.
He rode beside him, deeply bemused by the thought.
He could
not of course identify what it was that preoccupied the younger brother, for
indeed it was a little scene which had taken place without his knowledge one
night some weeks previously, while the household slept. At certain times the invalid took it into his
head to stay up later than usual, to sit on the balcony in his wheelchair and
read late, usually some manual of estate management, or forestry, or
whatnot. At such times the dutiful Narouz would settle himself upon a divan in the next room
and wait, patiently as a dog, for the signal to help his father away to bed; he
himself never read a book or paper if he could help it. But he enjoyed living in the yellow lamplight, picking his teeth with a match and brooding until
he heard the hoarse waspish voice of his father call his name.
On the
night in question he must have dozed off, for when he woke he found to his
surprise that all was dark. A brilliant
moonlight flooded the room and the balcony, but the lights had been
extinguished by an unknown hand. He
started up. Astonishingly, the balcony
was empty. For a moment, Narouz thought he must be dreaming, for never before had
his father gone to bed alone. Yet
standing there in the moonlight, battling with this sense of incomprehension
and doubt, he thought he heard the sound of the wheelchair's rubber tyres rolling
upon the wooden boards of the invalid's bedroom. This was an astonishing departure from
accepted routine. He crossed the balcony
and tiptoed down the corridor in amazement.
The door of his father's room was open.
He peered inside. The room was
full of moonlight. He heard the bump of
the wheels upon the chest of drawers and a scrabble of fingers groping for a
knob. Then he heard a drawer pulled
open, and a sense of dismay filled him, for he remembered that in it was kept
the old Colt revolver which belonged to his father. He suddenly found himself unable to move or
speak as he heard the breech snapped open and the unmistakable sound of paper
rustling - a sound immediately interpreted by his memory. Then the small precise
click of the shells slipping into the chambers. It was as if he were trapped in one of those
dreams where one is running with all one's might and yet unable to move from
the same spot. As the breech snapped
home and the weapon was assembled, Narouz gathered
himself together to walk boldly into the room but found that he could not
move. His spine got pins and needles and
he felt the hair bristle up on the back of his neck. Overcome by one of the horrifying inhibitions
of early childhood, he could do no more than take a single step forward and
halt in the doorway, his teeth clenched to prevent them chattering.
The
moonlight shone directly on to the mirror, and by its reflected light he could
see his father sitting upright in his chair, confronting his own image with an
expression on his face which Narouz had never before
seen. It was bleak and impassive, and in
that ghostly derived light from the pierglass it
looked denuded of all human feeling, picked clean by the emotions which had
been steadily sapping it. The younger
son watched as if mesmerize. (Once, in
early childhood, he had seen something like it - but not quite as stern, not
quite as withdrawn as this: yet something like
it. That was when his father was
describing the death of the evil factor Mahmoud, when
he said grimly: 'So they came and tied him to a tree. Et on lui a coupé les choses and stuffed them into his mouth.' As a child it was enough just to repeat the
words and recall the expression on his father's face to make Narouz feel on the point of fainting. Now this incident came back to him with
redoubled terror as he saw the invalid confronting himself in a moonlight
image, slowly raising the pistol to point it, not at his temple, but at the
mirror, as he repeated in a hoarse croaking voice: 'And now if she should fall
in love, you know what you must do.')
Presently
there was a silence and a single dry weary sob.
Narouz felt tears of sympathy come into his
eyes but still the spell held him; he could neither move nor speak nor even sob
aloud. His father's head sank down on
his breast, and his pistol-hand fell with it until Narouz
heard the faint tap of the barrel on the floor.
A long thrilling silence fell in the room, in the corridor, on the
balcony, the gardens everywhere - the silence of a relief which once more let
the imprisoned blood flow in his heart and veins. (Somewhere sighing in her sleep Leila must
have turned, pressing her disputed white arms to a cool place among the
pillows.) A single mosquito droned. The spell dissolved.
Narouz retired down the corridor to the balcony where he
stood for a moment fighting with his tears before calling 'Father'; his voice was squeaky and nervous - the voice of
a schoolboy. At once the light went on
in his father's room, a drawer closed, and he heard the noise of rubber rolling
on wood. He waited for a long second and
presently came the familiar testy growl 'Narouz'
which told him that everything was well.
He blew his nose in his sleeve and hurried into the bedroom. His father was sitting facing the door with a
book upon his knees. 'Lazy brute,' he
said, 'I could not wake you.'
'I'm
sorry,' said Narouz.
He was all of a sudden delighted.
So great was his relief that he suddenly wished to abase himself, to be
sworn at, to be abused. 'I am a lazy
brute, a thoughtless swine, a grain of salt,' he said eagerly, hoping to
provoke his father into still more wounding reproaches. He was smiling. He wanted to bathe voluptuously in the sick
man's fury.
'Get me to
bed,' said the invalid shortly, and his son stooped with lustful tenderness to
gather up that wasted body from the wheelchair, inexpressibly relieved that
there was still breath in it....
But how
indeed was Mountolive to know all this? He only recognized a reserve in Narouz which was absent from the gently smiling Nessim. As for the
father of Narouz, he was quite frankly disturbed by
him, by his sick hanging head, and the self-pity which his voice exuded. Unhappily, too, there was another conflict
which had to find an issue somehow, and this time Mountolive
unwittingly provided an opening by committing one of those gaffes which
diplomats, more than any other tribe, fear and dread; the memory of which can
keep them awake at nights for years. It
was an absurd enough slip, but it gave the sick man an excuse for an outburst
which Mountolive recognized as characteristic. It all happened at table, during dinner one
evening, and at first the company laughed easily enough over it - and in the
expanding circle of their communal amusement there was no bitterness, only the
smiling protest of Leila: 'But my dear David, we are not Moslems, but
Christians like yourself.' Of course he had known this; how could his
words have slipped out? It was one of
those dreadful remarks which once uttered seem not only inexcusable but also
impossible to repair. Nessim, however, appeared delighted rather than offended,
and with his usual tact did not permit himself to laugh aloud without touching
his friend's wrist with his hand, lest by chance Mountolive
might think the laughter directed at him rather than at his mistake. Yet, as the laughter itself fell away, he
became consciously aware that a wound had been opened from the flinty features
of the man in the wheelchair who alone did not smile. 'I see nothing to smile at.' His fingers plucked at the shiny arms of the
chair. 'Nothing at
all. The slip exactly expresses
the British point of view - the view with which we Copts have always had to
contend. There were never any
differences between us and the Moslems in
'I am
sorry,' stammered Mountolive, still trying to atone
for his gaffe.
'I am not,'
said the invalid. 'It is good that we should
mention these matters openly because we Copts feel them in here, in our deepest
hearts. The British have made the
Moslems oppress us. Study the
Commission. Talk to your compatriots
there about the Copts and you will hear their contempt and loathing of us. They have inoculated the Moslems with it.'
'Oh,
surely, Sir!' said Mountolive, in an agony of
apology.
'Surely,'
asseverated the sick man, nodding his head upon that sprained stalk of
neck. 'We know the truth.' Leila made some small involuntary gesture,
almost a signal, as if to stop her husband before he was fully launched into a
harangue, but he did not heed her. He
sat back chewing a piece of bread and said indistinctly: 'But then what do you,
what does any Englishman know or care of the Copts? An obscure religious heresy, they think, a
debased language with a liturgy hopelessly confused by Arabic and Greek. It has always been so. When the first Crusade captured
'Do you
know what they call us - the Moslems?'
Once more his head wagged. 'I
will tell you. Gins Pharoony. Yes,
we are genus Pharaonicus - the true
descendants of the ancients, the true marrow of
'Ibrahim E. Gohari,' said Narouz with the triumphant air of a schoolboy who can
recite his lesson correctly.
'Exactly,'
echoed his father, no less triumphantly.
'He was the only Egyptian permitted to smoke his pipe in the presence of
the first of the Khedives. A Copt!'
Mountolive was
cursing the slip which had led him to receive this curtain lecture, and yet at
the same time listening with great attention. These grievances were obviously deeply
felt. 'And when Gohari
died where did Mohammed Ali turn?'
'To Ghali Doss,' said Narouz again,
delightedly.
'Exactly. As chancellor of the Exchequer he had full powers over revenue
and taxation. A Copt. Another Copt. And his son Basileus
was made a Bey and a member of the Privy
Council. These men ruled
'Sedarous Takla in Esneh,' said Narouz, 'Shehata Hasaballah in Assiout, Girgis
Yacoub in Beni Souef.' His eyes
shone as he spoke and he basked like a serpent in the warmth of his father's
approbation. 'Yes,' cried the invalid,
striking his chair-arm with his hand.
'Yes. And even under Said and Ismail the Copts played their part. The public prosecutor in every province was a
Copt. Do you realize what that
means? The reposing of
such a trust in a Christian minority? The Moslems knew us, they knew we were
Egyptians first and Christians afterwards.
Christian Egyptians - have you British with your romantic ideas
about Moslems ever thought what the words mean?
The only Christian Orientals fully integrated into a Moslem
state? It would be the dream of Germans
to discover such a key to
'Ayad Bey Hanna,' said Narouz with relish.
'Yes. Even under Arabi a
Coptic Minister of Justice. And a Court
Master of Ceremonies. Both
Copts. And others, many others.'
'How did
all this change?' said Mountolive quietly, and the
sick man levered himself up in his rugs to point a shaking finger at his guest
and say: 'The British changed it, with their hatred of the Copts. Gorst initiated a
diplomatic friendship with Khedive Abbas, and as a
result of his schemes not a single Copt was to be found in the entourage of the
Court or even in the services of its departments. Indeed, if you spoke to the men who
surrounded that corrupt and bestial man, supported by the British, you would
have been led to think that the enemy was the Christian part of the
nation. At this point, let me read you
something.' Here Narouz,
swiftly as a well-rehearsed acolyte, slipped into the next room and returned
with a book with a marker in it. He laid
it open on the lap of his father and returned in a flash to his seat. Clearing his throat the sick man read
harshly: '"When the British took control of
'I don't
think that can be so,' said Mountolive feebly,
now rendered somewhat breathless by the forthrightness of the criticism but
unaware how to deal with it. All this
matter was entirely new to him, for his studies had consisted only in reading
the conventional study by Lane as the true Gospel of Egypt. The sick man nodded again, as if with each
nod he drove his point home a little deeper.
Narouz, whose face like a mirror had reflected
the various feelings of the conversation, nodded too. Then the father pointed at his eldest
son. 'Nessim,'
he said, 'look at him. A true Copt.
Brilliant, reserved. What an
ornament he would make to the Egyptian diplomatic service. Eh? As
a diplomat-to-be you should judge better than I. But no. He will be a businessman because we Copts
know that it is useless, useless.'
He banged the arm of his wheelchair again, and the spittle came up into
his mouth.
But this
was an opportunity for which Nessim had been waiting,
for now he took his father's sleeve and kissed it submissively, saying at the
same time with a smile: 'But David will learn all this anyway. It is enough now.' And smiling round at his mother sanctioned
the relieved signal she made to the servants which called an end to the dinner.
They took
their coffee in uncomfortable silence on the balcony where the invalid sat
gloomily apart staring out at the darkness, and the few attempts at general
conversation fell flat. To do him
justice, the sick man himself was feeling ashamed of his outburst now. He had sworn to himself not to introduce the
topic before his guest, and was conscious that he had contravened the laws of
hospitality in so doing. But he too
could now see no way of repairing the conversation in which the good feeling
they had reciprocated and enjoyed until now had temporarily foundered.
Here once
more Nessim's tact came to the rescue; he took Leila
and Mountolive out into the rose-garden where the
three of them walked in silence for a while, their minds embalmed by the dense
night-odour of the flowers. When they
were out of earshot of the balcony the eldest son said lightly: 'David, I hope
you didn't mind my father's outburst at dinner.
He feels very deeply about all this.'
'I know.'
'And you
know,' said Leila eagerly, anxious to dispose of the whole subject and return
once more to the normal atmosphere of friendliness, 'he really isn't wrong factually,
however he expresses himself. Our
position is an unenviable one, and it is due entirely to you, the British. We do live rather like a secret society - the
most brilliant, indeed, once the key community in our own country.'
'I cannot
understand it,' said Mountolive.
'It is not
so difficult,' said Nessim lightly. 'The clue is the Church militant. It is odd, isn't it, that for us there was no
real war between Cross and Crescent?
That was entirely a Western European creation. So indeed was the idea of the cruel Moslem
infidel. The Moslem was never a
persecutor of the Copts on religious grounds.
On the contrary, the Koran itself shows that Jesus is respected as a
true Prophet, indeed a precursor of Mohammed.
The other day Leila quoted you the little portrait of the child Jesus in
one of the suras - remember? Breathing life into the clay models of birds
he was making with other children....'
'I
remember.'
'Why, even
in Mohammed's tomb,' said Leila, 'there has always been that empty chamber
which waits for the body of Jesus.
According to the prophecy he is to be buried in
'You have
remained Crusaders at heart,' said Nessim softly,
ironically but still with a smile on his lips.
He turned and walked softly away between the roses, leaving them
alone. At once Leila's hand sought his
familiar clasp. 'Never mind this,' she
said lightly, in a different voice. 'One
day we will find our way back to the centre with or without your help! We have long memories!'
They sat
together for a while on a block of fallen marble, talking of other things,
these larger issues forgotten now they were alone. 'How dark it is tonight. I can only see one star. That means mist. Did you know that in Islam every man has his
own star which appears when he is born and goes out when he dies? Perhaps that is your star, David Mountolive.'
'Or yours?'
'It is too
bright for mine. They pale, you know, as
one gets older. Mine must be quite pale,
past middle age by now. And when you
leave us, it will become paler still.'
They embraced.
They spoke
of their plans to meet as often as possible; of his intention to return
whenever he could get leave. 'But you
will not be long in
'Let us not
think of that now,' said Mountolive. Indeed, he felt quite deprived of any power
to confront this parting coolly. 'Let us
talk of other things. Look, I went into
'What was
it?'
In his
suitcase upstairs he had some
'Please
stop,' he said, feeling hopelessness steal over him.
'Why?' she
said, and smiling now lightly kissed his temples. 'I am more experienced than you are. We shall see.' Underneath her lightness he recognized
something strong, resistant and durable - the very character of an experience
he lacked. She was a gallant creature,
and it is only the gallant who can remain light-hearted in adversity. But the night before he left she did not,
despite her promises, come to his room.
She was woman enough to wish to sharpen the pangs of separation, to make
them more durable. And his tired eyes
and weary air at breakfast filled her with an undiminished pleasure at his
obvious suffering.
She rode to
the ferry with him when he left, but the presence of Narouz
and Nessim made private conversation impossible, and
once again she was almost glad of the fact.
There was, in fact, nothing left for either to say. And she unconsciously wished to avoid the
tiresome iteration which goes with all love-making and which in the end stales
it. She wanted his image of her to
remain sharply in focus, and stainless; for she alone recognized that this
parting was the pattern, a sample, so to speak, of a parting far more
definitive and final, a parting which, if their communication was to remain
only through the medium of words and paper, might altogether lose her Mountolive. You
cannot write more than a dozen love-letters without finding yourself gravelled
for fresh matter. The richest of human
experiences is also the most limited in its range of expression. Words kill love as they kill everything
else. She had already planned to turn their
intercourse away upon another plane, a richer one; but Mountolive
was still too young to take advantage of what she might have to offer him - the
treasures of the imagination. She would
have to give him time to grow. She
realized quite clearly that she both loved him dearly and could resign herself
to never seeing him again. Her love had
already encompassed and mastered the object's disappearance - its own
death! This thought, defined so sharply
in her own mind, gave her a stupendous advantage over him - for he was still
wallowing in the choppy sea of his own illogical and entangled emotions,
desire, self-regard, and all the other nursery troubles of a teething love,
whereas she was already drawing strength and self-assurance from the very
hopelessness of her own case. Her pride
of spirit and intelligence lent her a new and unsuspected strength. And though she was sorry with one part of her
mind to see him to so soon, though she was glad to see him suffer, and prepared
never to see him return, yet she knew she already possessed him, and in a
paradoxical way, to say goodbye to him was almost easy.
They said
goodbye at the ferry and all four participated in the long farewell
embrace. It was a fine, ringing morning,
with low mists trammelling the outlines of the great lake. Nessim had ordered
a car which stood under the further pale-tree, a black, trembling dot. Mountolive took one
wild look around him as he stepped into the boat - as if he wished to furnish
his memory forever with details of this land, these three faces smiling and
wishing him good luck in his own tongue and theirs. 'I'll be back!' he shouted, but in his tone
she could detect all his anxiety and pain.
Narouz raised a crooked arm and smiled his
crooked smile; while Nessim put his arm about Leila's
shoulder as he waved, fully aware of what she felt, though he would have been
unable to find words for feelings so equivocal and so true.
The boat
pulled away. It was over. Ended.
* *
* * *