CYCLE SEVEN

1. HETEROSEXUAL ALTERNATIVES. The Son stands in a broadly homosexual relationship to the Father, whereas the Father stands in a broadly heterosexual relationship to the Mother, as can be verified by the relationship between Rugby Union, Rugby League, and Association Football, the latter of which is alone of the World, and thus subjectively heterosexual. Yet goals can be scored either with the feet or with the head in Association Football, thus allowing for the alternative, with regard to headed goals, of a sort of sexual parallel with cunnilingus, or vaginal-based oral sex. For it cannot be supposed that headed goals correlate with the anal violation of the Mother when there is only one scoring area, and that beneath the bar and between the uprights. Such a scoring area, the goal, will have a vaginal correlation, as befitting its subjectivity (netting), and therefore headed goals no less than kicked ones will have reference to this correlation, with, so I contend, the former correlating with cunnilingus and the latter with coitus. Masturbation, it would seem, is strictly taboo where Association Football is concerned, as, needless to say, is sodomy.

2. INSTRUMENTAL CORRELATIONS. A musical-instrument parallel with each of our three principal 'heathen sports' would be an upright piano with Rugby Union (the intellect); a grand piano with Rugby League (the emotions); and a guitar with Association Football (the will). The upright piano would correspond to the Son, and thus to Puritanism; the grand piano would correspond to the Father, and thus to Presbyterianism; and the guitar would correspond to the Mother, and thus to Anglicanism. Like rugby, the piano is an objective instrument, employing a variety of padded hammers which strike its metallic wires, whereas the guitar is a comparatively subjective instrument through which the fingers come into direct contact with the strings they pluck and/or strum - always excluding, however, the (cunnilingus-like) use of a plectrum. In this respect, the guitar is akin to Association Football, a sport with which it is often associated.