18 October 1900

 

I have written nothing new for some days.  I cannot sleep or think.  I am told that I must have an operation in four days' time - that I have an abscess in my ear which will affect my brain.  I have sent a telegram to Robbie.  I am in great fear.  I want to live.  I have so much more to say.  Maurice will come with soup: I hope he has not cooked it himself.