CHAPTER
NINE
It was in
mid-September, a week or two after the beginning of the new school term, that
Linda Daniels literally responded to Matthew's invitation to visit him,
whenever she liked, by calling at his Highgate flat, one fine evening, following
a brief pre-arrangement over the phone.
To Matthew's satisfaction it happened to be an evening when Gwen had
decided to stay at home to mark school work, while to Linda's satisfaction it
happened to be an evening when her husband had apparently gone to a
journalist's conference, leaving her relatively free to please herself.
Thus it was to their mutual satisfaction that Matthew answered
the door to his small ground-floor flat.
He had so looked forward to seeing her again, and she, for her part, had
not been without a similar desire in regard to him - one fostered as much on
her interest in modern art as on a need to get away from the oppressive
conservatism of Peter Daniels and expand her somewhat limited social horizons,
which, until then, had been mostly confined to the conflicting currents of
fellow-teachers and journalistic colleagues of her husband. So the advent of Matthew into her life,
coming completely out-of-the-blue, wasn't without its secret allurements,
especially as she'd had so little contact with anyone even remotely resembling
him in the past.
"Did you tell Gwen you'd be coming up here this
evening?" he asked, as soon as she was comfortably seated in one of the
two small armchairs in his living room.
"In point of fact, I hardly saw her at all today,"
Linda confessed, blushing slightly.
"But when she did briefly cross my path, I made no mention of any
intention of visiting you. Why, are you
afraid she might disapprove?"
He smiled dismissively in response to her ironic humour, and
said: "No, but I'd rather she wasn't given grounds for becoming jealous,
that's all. You never know how she might
decide to take it out on me in future."
Linda giggled a bit.
"Perhaps she's already taking it out on you by staying in
tonight," she remarked.
"What d'you mean?" he ejaculated, wondering if she
could have found out about Mrs Evans through Gwen or something.
"Oh, nothing in particular," Linda chuckled. "Just a little private joke. Though, now I come to think of it, she did
seem somewhat distant and ... abstracted today.
Yes, it was as if something was troubling her and she didn't want to
discuss it or commit herself to the usual social camaraderie which is all the
time going on between her and various other members of the teaching staff,
myself included. I recall someone else
remarking that she wasn't quite her usual self."
Matthew became puzzled and vaguely worried on Gwen's
behalf. "Maybe she still hasn't got
used to being back to school," he suggested half-facetiously.
"Yes, that could be it," said Linda, nodding
ironically. "It's certainly the
case with me, at any rate! However,
let's not discuss school now. I usually
try to forget about my work in the evenings."
"I'm sure you do," he sympathetically responded,
smiling. "What would you like to
drink - a beer or a cola?"
"I think I'll have a beer," she answered, without much
hesitation.
Matthew disappeared into the kitchen and, in view of the fact
that Linda was wearing a skirt, came back with two full glasses of lager in his
hands. There then ensued a brief silence
while they tasted their respective drinks, though it wasn't that often he had
recourse to anything alcoholic these days, since he preferred cola in view of
his transcendental predilections.
"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" Linda
inquired of him in due course, the lager evidently to her taste.
"Not at all," he replied, licking some froth from his
upper lip.
The P.E. teacher cleared her throat and swallowed hard, so to
speak. "Are you in love with
Gwen?" she asked.
The artist almost choked with astonishment. "Good God, no!" he exclaimed
impulsively.
"I see." Linda
seemed slightly relieved.
"Why, were you afraid I might be?"
"No, not specifically.
Though, to be honest, I didn't think you were."
Matthew gently smiled his approval. "And what about you?" he
asked. "Are you in love with your
husband?"
"No, although there was a time, shortly before and after
our marriage, when I thought I was. But,
these days, I rather doubt it." She
felt consumed, all of a sudden, by a piercing stab of self-pity and remorse,
took a large gulp of beer, as though to drown her feelings, and stared ruefully
at the afghan carpet just in front of her feet.
"Somehow I didn't think that you and he were really cut-out
for each other," Matthew opined, desiring to break the slightly oppressive
silence which had fallen between them, like a ton-weight of psychological
debris. "You strike me as being an
altogether more radical person. Or
perhaps I should say less conservative?" he added, as an afterthought.
Linda had to smile at this remark, which struck her as slightly
impertinent. "Frankly, I don't
consider myself at all conservative - at any rate, not politically," she
revealed. "On the contrary, my
political bias tends towards the Left, but such a bias isn't encouraged by my
husband, as you well know.
Unfortunately, I only discovered that after I'd married him. Had I realized what his true inclinations
were before
our
marriage, I would never even have got engaged to the sod!"
"How come you got involved with him in the first
place?" Matthew wanted to know, becoming intrigued by the apparent
implausibility of their marriage.
"Well, I had the ill-fortune, I can now say, to be invited
along to a party, shortly after I'd graduated from college, at which we
met," Linda confessed, blushing faintly in spite of her apparent calm,
"and as he rather took a fancy to me and was quite good-looking, I allowed
things to develop from there. Coming
from a relatively poor background, both my parents being Jamaican immigrants, I
allowed myself to become foolishly impressed by his wealth and social
status. For I thought it would open up
new doors to me and at last bring happiness within my grasp. His father was a prosperous banker actually,
and when he died, a few years ago, he left most of his wealth to Peter,
including a large detached house in Dulwich.
Personally, I dislike the place because it's too big and requires so
much upkeep. But since I'd never lived
in anything even remotely resembling such a place before, I suppose it appealed
to my curiosity and sense of adventure, not to mention my pressing desire to
escape from the rather cramped flat I'd been sharing with a couple of
fellow-undergraduates. So I plunged into
the deep end, as it were, only to belatedly discover that I couldn't swim
there. Unfortunately there's a lot of me
that I have to suppress when in Peter's company, including my penchant for
modern art. Yet even if I am of a relatively socialistic
disposition, I can't pretend that I'm as left-wing as you seemed to be when in
conversation with him the other week. I
don't think I could go as far as sanctioning purges or dictatorships!"
Matthew smiled understandingly and quaffed back some more
beer. He was by no means surprised to
hear this, since it stood to reason that the conservative environment in which
she lived wouldn't permit her bias for socialism to develop particularly far. The worldly influence of the monied
bourgeoisie would always be around her, thwarting her political
development. Given a change of
environment for the better, that is to say, within a less materialistic and
naturalistic context, one needn't be surprised if her political orientation
underwent a corresponding transformation, and thus became more radical. As things stood, however, she was
fundamentally a victim of her suburban milieu, and consequently what she said
would have to be evaluated in terms of that.
It wasn't something which any radical socialist need be impressed by,
anyway. "Well, most of what I said
to your husband was inspired by an uncharitable impulse to shock and bewilder
him," the artist at length confessed, placing the by-now near-empty beer
glass by the side of his chair, "in that I took an immediate dislike to
the bugger and thought it fitting to display my contempt for his politics. I didn't imagine that he'd feel very
comfortable, under the circumstances of my professed allegiance to socialism,
so I tried my best to make him feel damned uncomfortable. Which, as you'll doubtless recall, he most
certainly did feel after a while!"
"Yes, you needn't remind me," sighed Linda, a mock
frown in attendance. "Had it not
been for my restraining influence, he'd probably have come to blows with you or
stamped out of the room or something.
For I'd never seen him lose his cool so quickly before."
"How flattering for me!" exclaimed Matthew, feeling
perversely proud of himself.
"Still, I had to impress upon him my extreme distaste for his
politics somehow, and an unabashed advocacy of something closer to what I
believe in seemed to me the best way of doing so. It's good to speak out, to give one's
thoughts free rein when the need or opportunity presents itself.... Not that I
believe in free speech as such. Oh,
no! The society I want to see come about
certainly wouldn't encourage people of a reactionary turn-of-mind to air their
capitalist views - assuming there were any such people left. But the society in which we're living at
present hasn't evolved to a stage where the capitalist/socialist dichotomy
which characterizes it has been transcended in favour of socialism, or
ownership of the means of production by a politically sovereign
proletariat. And so a situation prevails
in which the mouthpieces of the bourgeois right continue to promulgate their
capitalist policies at the proletariat's expense. Yet, one way or another, the future belongs
to the proletariat, and consequently you can rest assured that the said mouthpieces
won't be able to continue in their well-worn tracks for ever. At present, however, free speech still
prevails, and so one is obliged to tolerate the views of people whose politics
run contrary to one's own and who, by their grasp on power, effectively prevent
the advent of a better and fairer society - one in which there are no privately
owned firms but only publicly owned ones, in line with the impersonality of the
Holy Ghost. Although the balance of free
speech is tipped against people like us, that's no reason why we should abdicate
our principles and better knowledge to suit the vested interests of a
fundamentally immoral status quo, in which some individuals can become
extremely wealthy, while the great majority of people languish in abject
poverty and neglect. The struggle for a
better world can only be an uphill one, since contrary to the materialistic
grain of life ... with its predatory roots, and therefore it behoves us to
carry-on with it, no matter how tough the going in this respect. Good things take time, after all, and we
cannot expect a social revolution to come about without an immense struggle,
one of probably global dimensions."
He realized, by now, that he must have sounded somewhat pompous,
if not conceited, to her. Yet, despite
his intense dislike of entering into political discussions with women, he knew
that her husband's extreme conservatism had, even in recollection, carried him
away in a torrent of righteous indignation ... such as he usually succumbed to
within the concealed confines of his mind.
When such a torrent assailed him, as unfortunately it all-too-often did
these days, he would end-up cursing his lucidity and status as an ideological
outsider, an Irish-born though English-raised outsider who, owing to
circumstances which had catapulted him through both a Catholic and a Protestant
upbringing in painful succession, could take neither the Father nor Christ
seriously but only the Holy Ghost, the third and, as yet, unrealized part of
the Trinity, each of whose components he believed to be subdivisible into
autocratic, democratic, and theocratic parts, with Communism signifying the
autocracy of the Holy Ghost no less than Social Democracy its democracy and,
for all he knew, some kind of socialistic transcendentalism its future
theocracy. He would see himself as a
kind of martyr and dissident, obliged, through ideological lucidity, to turn
his gaze towards a brighter future and take the existing state-of-affairs, with
its liberal democracy of Christ and protestant theocracy of Christ (the
Cromwellian autocracy of Christ having been consigned to the rubbish heap of
history some three centuries ago), with a considerable pinch of sceptical
salt. He couldn't enter into the spirit
of this existing state-of-affairs - it just wasn't for him, the Christic British
never having done much for his native land, neither autocratically,
democratically, nor theocratically. All
he could do was look down on it from what he regarded, not without moral
justification, as a higher vantage-point, namely that of the Holy Ghost, and
hope that, one day, it would be swept away, so that the more progressive and
enlightened people could be delivered from their current political spleen, and
enter into a positive relationship to society which would both redeem and save
them.
However, Matthew was anxious not to spoil the rest of the
evening for both Linda and himself with any more such weighty talk, being
mindful, by the rather pained expression on the young P.E. teacher's ordinarily
passive face, that most of what he had said must have sounded somewhat strange
to someone who lived in a detached house and, despite an inclination towards
socialism, was the recipient of much conservative influence. No doubt, she would have come to appreciate
it better had she been living with him for any length of time! For there was certainly something about her
that suggested a kindred spirit. But she
was a kindred spirit, alas, who had come to experience such a dissimilar pattern
of environmental and social influence, in recent days, that one might have
taken her for a bourgeois philistine, might have taken her for someone whose
spiritual orientation was fundamentally contrary to and, hence, incompatible
with one's own - not perhaps diametrically opposed to it (for she wasn't an
aristocrat and therefore aligned with either the royalist autocracy, the
peerist democracy, or the anglo-catholic theocracy of the Father), but
certainly of an order which could never be transmuted into something
higher! However, bearing in mind her
dissatisfaction with her husband's conservative lifestyle, it seemed
indisputable that Linda Daniels was essentially a proletarian intellectual
who'd had the grave misfortune, through her exceptionally fine looks, to get
herself tied-up with a damned bourgeois, a man who related, in his
parliamentary disposition, to the democracy of Christ. At least she was progressive rather than
reactionary.
"Can I get you another beer?" Matthew offered, by way
of seeking to conciliate her in some measure.
For he didn't like to see her consumed with self-pity.
"Yes, I'd like that very much," she said, holding out
her glass to him.
Within less than a minute he was back from the kitchen with two
further full glasses of ice-cold lager, the fridge being well-stocked with cans
of beer and soft drinks at present.
Returning to his armchair, he asked: "Does your husband drink
regularly?"
"No, not in my company," she replied. "But he does drink both light ale and
wine quite heavily at times. Like his
intellectual hero, Oswald Spengler."
"Who also smoked cigars, I believe?"
"Well, fortunately, Peter smokes nothing worse than small
cigars, so I don't have to put-up with too much nasal inconvenience or tobacco
pollution - not at table, at any rate!
His drinking and smoking mostly take place in private, or in the company
of some of his journalistic colleagues from 'The Cultural Heritage', who
occasionally pay us a visit."
Matthew self-consciously gulped down a rather large mouthful of
beer, since the habit of drinking from a glass was foreign to him these days,
and he felt uncomfortably bourgeois in a liberal sort of way, which reduced
him, in his own estimation, to the level of Peter Daniels or, at least, to how
he supposed Daniels would drink.
Nevertheless, he managed to shrug off his subjective qualm sufficiently
to be able to ask: "And are the people who contribute towards this
'Cultural Heritage', or whatever its called, all like himself, meaning
principally strait-laced conservatives?"
"Mostly," Linda admitted, smiling in her customary
ironic fashion. "Though they aren't
all neo-Nazi, Bible-punching, tight-lipped paragons of bourgeois
respectability, by any means! One or two
of them are even dandy in appearance and behaviour. I mean, Peter was himself a kind of dandy at
one time, always wearing bright velvet suits and sporting flash silk ties. However, the influence of Spengler and
various other right-wing intellectuals evidently diminished his taste for such
garish apparel. But he was decidedly beau himself before
his conversion to a sort of political activism.
He admired the Decadents and Symbolists immensely, and was all for
turning himself into a late twentieth-century version of Oscar Wilde, albeit a
Wilde minus the socialism. His
sophisticated aestheticism even extended to an admiration of Huysmans' Against
Nature, which, for a time, he regarded as a kind of Bible. Fortunately, he never went quite as far as
its reactionary protagonist, Des Esseintes, in his disdain for and rebellion
against modern trends. But it's not
altogether surprising that he subsequently gravitated from Huysmans to Spengler
and took refuge in The Decline of the West. After all, the lamentation over the collapse
of Western and, in particular, Catholic culture, in the last chapter of Against
Nature, isn't exactly irrelevant to the latter work, is it?"
"No, I guess not," Matthew conceded, endeavouring to
recall the said chapter to mind; for he was in fact familiar, through past
reading, with Huysmans. "But I'm
surprised to learn that your husband was a kind of dandy," he continued,
his mind turning somersaults of intellectual daring, as it began to conjecture
the likelihood of a bourgeois dandy appertaining to the bureaucracy of Christ
in worldly femininity. "I would
never have suspected such from his appearance and conversation last week. He looked very plain and sounded even
plainer. I couldn't detect anything
effeminate about him. It seems that Spengler
must have made a man of him."
"Yes, up to a point," Linda confirmed, smiling. "Though he still wears a bright velvet
suit from time to time and indulges in a limited amount of aestheticism,
including a taste for various fin-de-siècle artists and writers. Then there are twentieth-century aesthetes
like Drieu
Matthew winced slightly.
He didn't care much for the Symbolists personally, nor for the Aesthetes
and Decadents, whose pseudo-aristocratic refinements and cultural snobbery
struck him as constituting but another instance of the reactionary. Even Baudelaire, that arch-dandy and
forerunner of fin-de-siècle
decadence, had been tarred by the aristocratic brush. Excellent as an advocate of the modern, a
champion of the new in art, he was yet tied to the past in a way which Zola,
with his strong advocacy of socialist progress, never had been. He would have preferred Schopenhauer or
Nietzsche to Hegel or Marx, the monarchical system to the dictatorship of the
proletariat. However, if he was politically
reactionary, he was spiritually progressive, a believer in the new, the city,
the anti-natural, the contemplative - in a word, the transcendent. And so Matthew found himself forced into an
ambivalence of mind over him - as, for that matter, over most of his decadent
successors, whom he admired so far as the anti-natural, and hence pro-artificial, was concerned, but
despised for their allegiance to the aristocratic.
The cult of the artificial - witness Wilde and Huysmans - was thoroughly
modern and indicative of spiritual progress, of a sophisticated response to
large-scale urban civilization. But the
snobbish belief in and insistence on caste, the emphasis on aristocratic
detachment and privilege, was somewhat antiquated, and thus indicative of
social regress and rebellion against the city.
To have been artificial and socialist, like Oscar Wilde, seemed to him a
more consistent approach to the problem of modernity than that adopted by, say,
Mallarmé, Huysmans, Pater, or, indeed, Baudelaire himself. On the other hand, there were those who were
socialist or, at any rate, in favour of socialism, but not artificial, like
Zola and Nordau, and even some who, strictly speaking, were neither socialist
nor artificial, like the great Leo Tolstoy, who of course became a Christian,
if a rather anarchic one!
"I used to be a bit of an aesthete myself, at one time,
though that was before my conversion to transcendentalism and its modernist
implications," Matthew confessed, blushing faintly from recollective shame
of the fact that he had once worn purple pants and written short lyric poems in
deference to female beauty, which subsequently served as a springboard to
art. "Nowadays, however, I try not
to have anything to do with works of art, whether literary, musical, or
plastic, that pertain to the pre-modern.
I find they are largely irrelevant to me, since somewhat
anachronistic. Either they're too
sensuous or too Christian or too dualistic or too romantic or too naturalist or
something of the kind. They don't speak
to me personally - unlike, for example, the abstract works of Piet Mondrian and
Ben Nicholson. They would only confuse
me and weaken my modernism in some way, were I to become seriously involved
with them. So, as a rule, I confine
myself to twentieth-century art, occasionally going back as far as the
late-nineteenth century, but rarely or never beyond. I imbibe whatever speaks to the man of the
big city - the post-cultural man of a superconscious bias. 'The truly modern artist', wrote Mondrian in
1918, 'sees the metropolis as the supreme form of abstract life; it stands
closer to him than Nature.' And, in
consequence, whatever he does should pertain to the anti-natural and pro-spiritual,
whether it is to exclude representational elements from his canvas or to
advocate, in suitably modern terms, the importance of light. He must avoid the reactionary at all costs,
and one of the best ways of ensuring that he does so ... is to turn his gaze
away from the art of the past and concentrate solely on the contemporary. Not an easy thing to do, by any means, since
I often feel tempted to study paintings by Rubens, Rembrandt, Titian, Raphael,
Tintoretto, etc., but certainly not impossible!
In the future, it will doubtless come more easily. But, at present, what with so much
transitional activity going on around us all the time, it's often an uphill
struggle. After all, none of us is, as
yet, that transcendental, even granted all the spiritual progress which has been made during the
course of the past century. We all have
reactionary tendencies of one sort and degree or another, even if only in terms
of preferring hardbacks to paperbacks or materialistic architecture to
idealistic architecture. And how many of
us are fully committed to the idea of laser beams as the relevant weapons for
transcendental man?"
"Not I, for one!" Linda replied, with a facial show of
distaste for the subject.
"No, but the fact is that the use of light for military
purposes corresponds to our growing allegiance to the spiritual, and must
inevitably come to replace the old, materialistic modes of weaponry,"
Matthew averred confidently.
"Intensified beams of light would certainly constitute a more
transcendental mode of defence than the use of, say, bullets or missiles. However, all that is simply by way of saying
that, as yet, we're by no means as transcendentalist as we might be and will
doubtless eventually become. We still
have a long way to go to the post-human millennium, the coming time of a transcendental
lead!"
"In certain respects, that's probably just as well,"
Linda averred. "Though I'm still
not quite sure what this post-human millennium of yours exactly
signifies?"
"Simply the ultimate point of spiritual triumph, the
ultimate triumph, on earth, of the spiritual principle," Matthew informed
her, "and thus the reign of light, peace, bliss - in a word, Heaven. Yes, that's what it signifies to me, at any
rate! A kind of transcendent state in
which man, having thrown off the last vestiges of his traditional dualism and
thereby transcended nature, becomes godly, becomes something above and beyond
man - as far above dualistic man as that man was above the beasts. But such a metamorphosis is by no means in
sight at present, even given the recent spurt in spiritual progress. All we can be certain of is that man is a
phenomenon in the process of evolving towards something greater, not a fixed
form. The changes he creates in his
environment guarantee that he continues to evolve, not remain static like a
beast. The difference between us and the
caveman is really quite considerable.
Unlike him, we aren't living under a subconscious dominion but have
evolved to a point, the other side of the ego, where the superconscious
increasingly prevails."
"And so the chances are that we'll evolve even further and
eventually enter a post-human millennium?" Linda deduced with, in spite of
herself, a hint of scepticism in her voice.
"I can't see why not," Matthew affirmed, smiling
optimistically. "Unless, of course,
we're all killed in a nuclear apocalypse and no-one survives to continue our
progress. Personally, however, I'd find
that very difficult to believe. After
all, we haven't evolved this far just to blow ourselves to smithereens, have
we? Nuclear weapons may be terrible
things but, given our transcendental progress generally, they would seem to be
relative to the times, to an age which is splitting the atom and thus
effectively engaged in the process of severing the proletariat from bourgeois
and/or aristocratic control. It's highly
unlikely that any future world war would be waged solely with conventional
weapons anyway, since, quite apart from the fact that one couldn't risk
allowing one's own nuclear installations to be overrun, they would be largely
irrelevant to the global nature of the conflict and inadequate, moreover, for
purposes of permitting one side to achieve an ascendancy over the other."
"Yes, I suppose so," Linda wearily conceded, resigning
herself, it seemed, to the logic of post-atomic modernity. However, it wasn't a subject she particularly
cared to dwell on, not really believing in the possibility of future world wars
anyway, least of all of a nuclear order, so she made an effort to find something
more congenial and, catching sight of an abstract painting behind Matthew's
head, inquired of him whether it was one of his works.
"Actually it's a variation on one of Mondrian's paintings,
based on a square and colour composition," the artist replied on what
sounded like a more cheerful note, "like the one over there in
fact." He pointed to a small
painting hung above a table across to Linda's right, which was of similar
abstract design. "I did them both
earlier in the year, principally because I couldn't get hold of an original
Mondrian and wanted at least a copy or a variation on one of his themes
to-hand. I flatter myself to think that
they could be mistaken for the genuine article, and a number of people have in
fact subsequently mistaken them for it."
"Really?" Linda exclaimed, looking intently from the
one to the other. She was indeed
intrigued by them. Their simplicity and
purity of colour endowed them with a certain classicism which she found agreeably
reassuring. They blended-in well with
the overall neatness and cleanliness of the room, which was itself mostly in
white, like an Ivres Klein void.
"You evidently think very highly of Mondrian's art," she at
length remarked, refocusing her increasingly beer-clouded attention upon him.
"Yes, that has to be admitted. In fact, I regard him as the finest painter
of the early-twentieth century, the most consistently and systematically modern
painter."
"Even finer than Ben Nicholson?"
"Yes, though not perhaps a great deal so! Despite his considerable achievement,
however, Nicholson wasn't as systematically abstract or transcendentalist, as
his drawings, usually done in a kind of minimalist representational style often
focusing on landscapes, adequately demonstrate.
Then, of course, his reliefs, which are undoubtedly his main claim to
fame, could be described as a sort of cross between painting and sculpture
rather than pure painting. Maybe even as
a kind of decadent, quasi-sculptural painting in which aesthetic considerations
are compromised by materialism. But
Mondrian never deviated from painting, and, once he attained to his mature
abstract style, what he painted was spiritually streets ahead of most other
painters, even if, on the surface, its simplicity and impersonality
superficially lead one to regard it as of a lesser importance than, say, the
relatively complex, personal work of artists like Dali, Spencer, Ernst,
Delvaux, Bonnard, et al. Yet that,
paradoxically, is precisely why it's so significant;
because it has abandoned the old cultural criteria of greatness and wholly
adapted itself to the abstract, post-egocentric and, hence, less-complex
standards of transcendental man. The
greatness of someone like, say,
"I recall your having said something similar at Gwen's
place the other week," Linda declared, alluding to his statement
concerning the relative merits of Spencer and Nicholson on the basis of
contemporary relevance. "Yet what
you're saying also presupposes that the more abstract or transcendental an
artist's work becomes, the more significant he is in relation to the present,
so that anyone who produces work of a consistently more abstract order than
Mondrian's should rank higher than him as an artist."
Matthew nodded with alacrity.
"To be sure, someone currently at work in Mondrian's footsteps
might well be producing - if he hasn't already done so - a corpus of work which
excels his in transcendental standing, bringing the late-twentieth century to a
painterly climax," he averred.
"But as far as his generation is concerned, I can't think of
anyone who stands above him. To the best
of my knowledge, none of his contemporaries, not even Kandinsky, Klee, Miro,
Bomberg, and Balla, related to the urban milieu in quite such positive and
philosophically systematic terms. In
fact, it would be truer to say that most of them were in rebellion against the
city. However, I don't wish to sound
unduly pedantic or presumptuous. Suffice
it to say that, like life itself, art is ever a source of ambivalence and
complexity, even when it endeavours to clarify or simplify itself! It could well be that Mondrian's art, with
its geometrical patterns and black grids, signifies not so much a religious as
a secular greatness, which might well find itself taking second place to a
predominantly religious art-form in the eyes of future generations - an art
form giving greater attention to the Light and the correlative significance of
the Holy Ghost to the modern mind."
"Such as your art?" Linda suggested light-heartedly.
"One shouldn't entirely rule out that possibility!"
Matthew chuckled. "Though I'm
perfectly resigned to standing in Mondrian's shadow at present." He realized that the beer had gone to his
head, making him slightly waver in his judgement and shed some of his
intellectual inhibitions. The extent to
which Mondrian's art could be regarded as secular was indeed open to
debate; though it seemed unlikely that such paintings as Broadway Boogie-Woogie
and Foxtrot A could be classified as religious. Abstract they might well be, but that didn't
necessarily have any bearing on the Holy Ghost, the mystic's focal-point for
ultimate divinity, even granted their creator's avowed commitment to
theosophy. The lines and colour areas of
his Compositions, for instance, seemed rather to suggest an in-between
realm of moral illegibility which could be interpreted neither solely in terms
of the secular nor of the religious. The
two were somehow fused together - products of both a positive response to the
urban environment and a spiritual aspiration towards the Infinite. There was little in the individual paintings
to suggest that the artist was endeavouring to portray, in somewhat skeletal
terms, an outline of the city or, alternatively, to lead one towards a
contemplation of the Infinite. Their
abstraction was complete.
Yet this indeterminate status, born of their inscrutability, was
precisely what Matthew had decided to turn against off late, preferring to be a
specifically religious painter, and so draw the viewer's attention, by means of
such transcendental symbols as doves, globes of infused light and meditating
figures, towards the Holy Ghost. If
Christianity had its painters, then he saw no reason why transcendentalism
shouldn't also be served by art, though, of necessity, in a much-less
representational way.
To be sure, the concessions to representation which the symbolic
illustration of superconscious fidelity had forced upon him were not without
their shortcomings in relation to contemporary abstraction, yet seemed
impossible to surmount without necessarily appearing vague and indeterminate
again. Unfortunately, the production of
bright monochromatic canvases wouldn't automatically have connoted with
transcendental meditation and the claims of the spiritual life, but might just
as easily have been confounded with Kleinesque experiments in spatial reality -
pertinent and valid as such experiments undoubtedly were. No, he somehow wanted to put people in mind
of the fact that they were living in the age of the Holy Ghost, and to do this
he felt he had to have recourse to a limited amount of symbolic representation. Time would doubtless tell whether or not he
had made a mistake. For the present,
however, he was convinced of the validity of this specifically religious
orientation.
But what of Linda? Was
that a hint she had given him that she wanted to see his art, since he had
promised to show it to her at Gwen's place?
He felt a sudden qualm at the prospect of having to go to the trouble of
taking her over to his studio and then go through the rigmarole of pointing out
and explaining what was what, especially as he was beginning to succumb to
beer-induced lethargy and muddle-headedness.
Surely she wasn't expecting him to take her over there now?
No, it would be too inconvenient under the circumstances. Besides, the alcohol would doubtless be
having its effect on her too, making her unsteady on her legs and slightly
incoherent. Now was hardly the time to
explore the studio! Better, perhaps, to
play some music in his flat and just take things easy. That way no-one would be any the worse off -
least of all himself!
He returned his empty glass to the table and ambled across to
his midi system, which stood next to his bookcase immediately in front of the
brighter of the room's two side walls.
"Would you like to listen to some music?" he asked.
"Hmm, what have you got?" Linda wanted to know,
automatically depositing her own empty beer glass on the same table.
"Come and see for yourself!" he advised her, stooping
down in front of the racks which housed the bulk of his music collection.
Obediently, she vacated her chair and knelt down beside
him. "Hmm, mostly modern
jazz," she observed, as her eyes scanned the titles of a number of albums
by musicians such as Narada Michael Walden, Jean-Luc Ponty, Chick Corea, Al
DiMeola, John McLaughlin, and Herbie Hancock.
"I imagine your husband doesn't approve of or relate to
this kind of music."
"No, unfortunately not!
He avoids modern jazz of any description - religious, secular, or
in-between."
"And presumably that means you have to avoid it too, does
it?"
Linda sighed her indignant confirmation of this inference and
said: "Yes, generally speaking; though I occasionally tune-in to some good
soul or rap music on my radio, when he's out.
But he certainly wouldn't approve of my buying this kind of music and
playing it on a regular basis - not while he's in, at any rate! It has to be Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms,
Schubert, Mendelssohn, Schumann, or nothing.
He's even against modern classical, as a rule, with the exception of
stuffy composers like Elgar and Walton, who aren't really that modern
anyway."
Matthew smiled ironically, almost in imitation of Linda.
"Do you have to listen to them with him, then?" he asked her.
"Not if I can avoid it, I don't! For I usually contrive to be elsewhere, in
some other part of the house. But he
occasionally takes umbrage at that and obliges me to keep him company while he
listens to Mozart or Beethoven for the umpteenth frigging time! Fortunately for me, he doesn't indulge in his
musical tastes more than once or twice a week, so I don't have to put-up with
it too often. Yet he seems not to
accredit me with any taste at all! The
mention of soul and he throws a fit!
There's no compromise in him.
Either one sacrifices oneself to him completely or he takes umbrage and
flies into a reactionary rage."
"Sounds positively Victorian!" Matthew objected,
wincing slightly in involuntary revulsion.
"Bourgeois snobbery could hardly go any further!"
"So it would seem," sighed Linda, who by this time had
her hands on a cassette by Narada Michael Walden. "Do you think we could play this?"
she requested, holding it out to him.
"Sure," he agreed, taking it from her. Although it wasn't one of his modern jazz
tapes as such, its musical excellence was beyond dispute and highly
appropriate, he thought, in view of Linda's close proximity to him at this
moment, her close-fitting leather miniskirt having ridden up her
black-stockinged thighs to a degree which made it impossible for him to ignore
their seductive appeal. The cassette in
question, with its soulful fervour, seemed to him an excellent choice on her
part and, no sooner had he set it in motion and knelt down beside her again,
than he felt a consciousness of her sexuality growing inside him, pervading his
mind and senses with a suggestibility it would have been not only impossible
but imbecile to ignore. She was indeed a
beautiful woman, and the longer he was close to her, the more beautiful she
seemed to become. So much so, that he
soon found himself irresistibly drawn, like a magnet, to the alluring oasis of
her dark flesh; found himself endeavouring to quench a thirst from which he had
too long suffered, even given his brief affairs with Deirdre and Gwen
Evans. It wasn't sex as such ... so much
as sex with the right person, sex with someone one could genuinely respect and
feel proud to possess - in a word, love.
And now, with Linda, it seemed possible this thirst would be quenched
and an old nagging want finally laid to rest.
Instinctively, he drew himself still closer to her and, putting
an arm round her slender waist, slowly brought his lips to bear on her face,
applying himself to her nearest cheek and then, as she impulsively turned
towards him, gently switching to her lips and mouth. She made no protest, not even verbally, but
submitted to his attentions with a willingness which suggested that she had
been waiting for this all along and was only too relieved that he had finally
got round to expressing his desire for her in more concrete terms.
She gave him responsive access to herself and he pursued his
desire to the very best of his ability, caressing and kissing her in a mounting
crescendo of passionate embraces which had the effect of diminishing whatever
reserve may still have existed between them and precipitating each into the
sexual clutches of the other. It wasn't
long before his hands had reached under her vest and up her skirt to more
pressing objectives, freeing her from her underclothes and exposing the
totality of her flesh to his sturdy advance.
They made love in the centre of the room, on the afghan carpet between
the armchairs. It was superior to
anything he had known with women before, much better than with Gwen or her
mother; better even than it probably would have been with the two of them
together. Linda was an altogether
different kind of woman - more responsive and sensitive, less bashfully
self-conscious, tougher and slicker, altogether more to his liking. She was neither frigid nor lascivious. And to judge by her capacity for carnal
pleasure, she was in earnest need of what he had to give her, in need of a
reprieve from her bourgeois husband.
He thrust himself upon her in a frenzy of quickening lust and
humped her like he had never humped anyone before, catching hold of her
buttocks and driving himself deep inside her convulsed flesh with what seemed
like a determination to get to the very centre of her womb, the kernel of her
sex, which was the final goal of all passion, the resolution of all earthly
desire, the heavenly resting place of the world. The contrast between his white skin and her
black skin only intensified his passion.
For it seemed like they were opposites who had come together to cancel
each other out in the culmination of their coupling, thereby achieving a golden
mean which would signify the overcoming of thesis and antithesis in a
dialectical synthesis of perfect racial harmony. He held nothing back, but gave it all to
her. For he had no shame in his
commitment to her and would gladly have accepted a child in the event of her becoming
pregnant, far as the thought of pregnancy was from his mind that evening! He ejaculated every last globule of sperm
into her with a thoroughness which completely drained him.
The Narada tape had progressed to side two by the time he
relaxed his ardour for her body and, satisfied by his carnal achievement, duly
abandoned the pursuit of further pleasure. They lay quiet and still for some
time in each other's arms, listening to the remaining tracks and just savouring
the sensual warmth in which they basked, like softly-purring cats. However, it was Matthew who eventually broke
the silence by asking if she had expected him to make it with her that evening?
"Yes, I suppose so," she smilingly confessed, blushing
in spite of everything.
He smiled back at her.
"So you hadn't come all the way up here just to look at paintings
and talk about modern art, then?" he teased.
"No, I was under the impression that you wouldn't have
invited me all the way up here just to discuss art," she bluntly declared.
"Even after what I'd said about my transcendentalism, or
the spirituality to which I aspire?"
"Even then. I could
tell you had a crush on me."
Matthew had to chuckle.
"And what about Gwen, could you tell that I was bored and
frustrated by her?" he asked.
"Of course! You
wouldn't have been so keen on my conversation had that not been the case. Besides, I learnt from Gwen that she was
under the impression that you were somehow disappointed in her and consequently
less than happy in your relationship."
"Oh?" Matthew
was instantly intrigued. "When did
she tell you that?" he pressed her.
"On the phone one day."
"I see." He
meditated in silence a moment, but didn't desire to inquire any further into
the matter. Frankly, the subject of Gwen
rather bored him, especially as there was another one on his mind which he
realized would have to be dealt with in due course, since it would almost
certainly lead to unfortunate complications if neglected. But, in the meantime, there was Linda, who
was something else or, at least, he hoped so.
"Tell me, this little affair of ours - is it a once-only thing, or
are you prepared to visit me again in the near future?" he asked.
"Well, if you really want to see me again, I'm more than
prepared to come here," she replied, smiling faintly. "Or to go anywhere, for that matter,
where we can be alone together."
He heaved a sigh of gratified relief and hugged her
tenderly. "Good!" he
cried. "Then we'll see a lot more
of each other in future."
She smiled tenderly, happy in the knowledge that he was
genuinely interested in her. It seemed
that love had returned to her life.
"But the next time we meet, I'd like to see your studio and examine
some of your works, if that's okay," she reminded him.
"Sure. I had
intended to take you over there tonight, but, what with the beer and
everything, it seemed somehow inappropriate." He was still feeling a bit tipsy, despite the
fact that he had drunk only two full glasses of beer. It was doubtless due to his relatively high
metabolism and habitual abstinence. Due,
too, in some measure, to the presence of Linda and the delightful experiences
he had shared with her. Yet he was not
so tipsy, all the same, that he couldn't see through the optimism their evening
together had engendered and wonder whether they would, in fact, be able to see
very much of each other in future? After
all, Linda's husband still had to be taken into consideration. He would doubtless become suspicious if she
were away from home too often. And what
about tonight - would he still be at the journalist's conference he was
apparently attending? Matthew glanced at
his watch and, noting it was now 9.30pm, turned to Linda for reassurance.
"Fortunately, he won't get home till around midnight,"
she informed him, "so you needn't worry.
Provided I leave here by ten, I should get back in good time."
"And the future?” Matthew asked. "I mean, do you think he'll prove a
major obstacle?"
She had risen from the carpet and started to dress, putting on
her pink bra and matching panties. It
wasn't a question she particularly cared to answer. Speculation seemed futile to her, since it
partly depended on Matthew in any case, on whether he would be prepared to
marry her if she got a divorce; on whether he would be prepared to put himself
out a little in the meantime - to visit her after school hours or go down to
Dulwich with her. It depended on a lot
of things, not least of all her husband's social and professional commitments. But she couldn't see why, if he was really determined,
they couldn't arrange to see each other quite regularly. After all, Peter Daniels might be her legal
spouse but he wasn't her gaoler. He
couldn't prevent her from going out. She
could always plead school commitments or invitations from Gwen. Besides, she had a few relatives in town,
including a rather ailing mother, who could serve as useful alibis if
necessary. Thus Matthew needn't worry
himself about it, and, having imparted as much to him, Linda ventured to
relieve her own mind of a nagging doubt by saying: "I take it you won't be
seeing Gwen so much in future?"
"No, not if I can help it," he smilingly assured her,
pulling up his black jeans, which were the tightest pair of denims he had ever
worn. "I don't want to arouse your
jealousy, do I?"
She giggled her approval of this rhetorical question and
quipped: "As long as I know who you really want, you're unlikely to do
that!"
He advanced towards her half-dressed, his T-shirt still hanging
loose, and kissed her tenderly on the lips, proceeding to caress her backside
in a correspondingly tender fashion with both hands, one of which gradually
worked its way back around and under her short skirt to rest, palm upwards,
against her pantied crotch in a gesture of sly intimacy such that would convey
his tender respect for her. To his
further pleasure, she accepted without demur.
It seemed that she was his woman, after all, and that nothing could
alter the fact of their mutual trust and admiration. They had a pact with each other, and it was not
between incommensurables but, on the contrary, partners in love.
It had just gone 10pm when Matthew Pearce closed his door behind
Linda's departing car and returned to an empty living room. He was relieved beyond words to have obtained
an assurance of trust from her, and simultaneously proud of himself for having
behaved so romantically. He hadn't
expected the evening to turn out nearly so well, even given his awareness of
the fact she was naturally sympathetic towards him. In inviting her up to Highgate, he hadn't
specifically intended to become intimate with her but, rather, to extend his
previous conversation on art and thus establish their friendship on a firmer
footing. If the possibility of becoming
her lover had occurred to him before, it had only done so tentatively, as a
consequence, the way he saw it, of a gradual intimacy, a broadening of their
relationship, rather than as a kind of lightning strategy of peremptory
seduction. He had not expected himself
to get so carried away by her and, notwithstanding the influence of beer and
music, propelled into one of the quickest and easiest affairs of his life. He could still hardly believe he had in fact
succeeded with her; though, at the back of his mind, a little intuitive voice
had intimated to him the unlikelihood of such an attractive woman dragging
herself all the way up to his Highgate flat just to discuss art. And when, from nagging curiosity, he had put
the question of motivation to her, that little voice had received exactly the
confirmation it required!
Yes, so now he was her lover, more or less, and what he had done
with her had given him one of the most gratifyingly memorable evenings of his
entire life. He was her lover, and what
he would do with her in future would be no less gratifying! He would have plenty of time to gaze in
voyeuristic rapture at her suspender-sporting thighs, if that was what turned
him on. Or remove her bra and fondle one
or both of her mouth-watering breasts.
Or take instamatic photos of her in a variety of erotic poses. Or make a video with her which, together with
the photos, might serve him usefully in old age when, lacking the will or
ability to maintain coital relations with anyone, he was obliged to enter into
the comparative salvation of a theocratic sexuality, and thus allow himself to
be served by a combination of erotic material and plastic vibrator, his penis
encapsulated, in centripetal smugness, by it vagina-like contours. As yet, however, there was no real need or
desire, in his life, for such a sexual salvation but, rather, a pressing desire
to continue seeing Linda and thus maintain a democratic sexuality on suitably
socialistic terms. Certainly, there
could be no question of a masturbatory autocratic one, least of all since the
collapse of Stalinism in Eastern Europe!
Besides, he had no desire to treat the inner light of the world in a
disrespectful fashion, shooting it off into thin air. That was for jerks and other such moral
cretins.
Yet Linda's entry into his life did mean that he would not now
be in a position to carry-on seeing Gwen, as though nothing had happened. He would have to get rid of her and, no less
importantly, her mother as well. Indeed,
especially Deirdre Evans, who, on the strength of the importunate letter he had
recently received from her, was becoming rather too demanding. He could not have three women 'on the go' at
once, nor even two, considering his dedication to the spirit and the exacting
claims of transcendentalism. Even one
woman was, according to the highest spiritual authorities, more of a hindrance
than a help to the spiritual life, a worldly omega which, especially if she was
so sensuously attractive as to demand too much of one's time, could become an
end-in-itself, to the exclusion of the heavenly omega or, at any rate, the
possibility of leading an idealistic lifestyle in pursuit of heavenly goals.
Of the three women in his life at present, Linda was certainly
the one most suited to himself, the one with whom he would be most likely to
succeed in seeing eye-to-eye on a variety of issues, not to mention in getting
to meditate with him as well as to discuss art, politics, religion, etc., and
have satisfying sex to a background, if mutually desirable, of soulful or funky
music. She was the promise of companionship
and understanding. The others, being
fundamentally middle class, would have to go.
He would not be swallowed-up or suffocated by the flesh, even if he
wasn't spiritually earnest or strong enough to be able to completely turn his
back on it. His art would only suffer,
and that wouldn't serve his transcendental purposes one little bit. Had he not been so celibate in the past his
art would never have evolved to the extent and in the way it had, following, in
Mondrian's sacred words, 'The path of ascension; away from matter'. But prolonged celibacy had not left him free
from depression and self-deception, nor was it something he particularly wanted
to live with for ever. Provided he could
keep his sexual commitments in moderation, he was perfectly resigned to fairly
regular contact with at least one woman, and Linda, with her beauty and
intelligence, struck him as being the most suitable of the three. Therefore the letter from Mrs Evans would
have to be answered, and preferably as soon as possible. If he wrote to her straightaway, that
evening, and sent his reply off to her early the following day, she would
almost certainly receive it by Monday or, at the very latest, Tuesday, and thus
have no excuse for turning-up at his studio, as she had threatened to do, on
the Wednesday afternoon.
Quickly, impatiently, he rummaged through the top drawer of his
writing desk and extracted her letter which, out of undue prudence, he had
hidden beneath a pile of envelopes.
Reading it through once more he was assailed by a momentary qualm and
pity for the woman, reminded of the sweet scent of her perfume and the generous
curve of her hips. He was almost
persuaded not to write to her and so grant her the pleasure of another visit,
especially as she still seemed interested in learning to meditate. Yet he was afraid that if he gave way to her
request now he would do the same in future too, thus jeopardizing and perhaps
even destroying his budding relationship with Linda. Frankly, he couldn't risk further involvement
with her, despite her obvious attractions and urgent desire to please him. The next time she would be a little more
ardent, a little more persuasive in her caresses, and, in all likelihood, a
little more possessive as well. If she
wasn't already emotionally involved with him, the chances were pretty high that
she would almost certainly become so on or following her next visit. And then where would he be? Shackled to a provincial bourgeois in
monoracial heterosexuality the equivalent of liberal democracy?
No, he would have to write to her, giving as excuse that he
would be out of the country for a number of weeks on overseas business and
therefore unable to comply with her request.
Anything would do, just as long as she didn't continue to pester him. And if she was foolish enough to ignore his
response, she would find herself making the trip down to London in vain. For he definitely wouldn't open his studio
door to her, not even if she rang its frigging bell for an hour! No, if she really wanted to learn how to
meditate, he could send her an Alan Watts book and let her do it by
herself. However, despite what she had
said in her letter, he rather doubted that meditation was really uppermost on
her mind, especially where the 'as we got on so well together on Wednesday, I
can't see why we shouldn't get on still better, if you follow me, in future'
was concerned. And neither was he
convinced that they would both be able to 'keep a cool head about it', even if
he could teach her 'to meditate properly' which, on a number of counts, seemed
somewhat unlikely.
Yet he was subject, all the same, to a certain amount of regret,
as he reached for his writing materials and began to wield his felt-tipped pen,
that he had to disappoint her, particularly as she was by no means bereft of
feminine charms. Had she been closer to
him in spirit, he would almost certainly have succumbed to her influence. But, bearing in mind her provincial background
and philistine mentality, not to mention the prolonged and virtually ineradicable
influence of her irascible husband, he was under no uncertainty concerning the
right course of action. The pleasure she
had given him would be more than adequately replaced by the pleasure he would
obtain from Linda. And if her husband
got his hands on the letter, it would be no loss to him. On the contrary, it could only serve his
purposes the more!